One blowout, one sorta interesting tilt and one helluva slugfest (though it could go blowout as well). Seems like a typical 4 O’ Clocker in there’s not much choice.
TO THE GAMES!
Jets/Rams:
Who are you taking-Aaron Donald’s league-dominating 75 pressures or the Jets 31st ranked O-line? Rb Akers has a stranglehold on ‘lead dog’ status in the Rams backfield as they (and you) play the important games. He’s had some nice production with 50 carries over the last 2 games. If you’re looking to stream a tight end (and the majority of you probably are) you could do worse than Higbee or Everett given that this New York squadoo can’t defend the position at all and has given up more TD’s to that spot than anyone else.
Eagles/Cards:
Hurts had 14 designed runs and 4 scrambles for 106 yards last week in their upset win over the Saints and you can expect more of the same as Philly heads down the stretch. Must be nice having this sort of wild card that teams, even though they now have a bit of game film, will still likely have trouble defending his tendencies. On t’udder side expect Hopkins to get double-digit targets as the Cards exploit a very weak Eagles coverage unit. Kyler has worried fantasy owners and fans alike by running only 5 times in each of weeks 11-13 but bounced back with 13 gallops last week.
Chiefs/Saints:
This is one for all the eyeballs. Too bad Mikey Thomas has been put on the shelf like an elf-Brees will likely need all the horses he can get his hands on if he’s to keep up with K.C. No matter what Kamara’s pass-catching prop is, take that over. That Mahomes kid just keeps on doing things-he has the 2nd-most 20+ yard completions, he has the highest qb rating under pressure and takes sacks at one of the lowest rates in the league. For a dude that goes for the big play as often as he does, he sure protects the ball well, don’t he? It may not be wise to start CE-H though-in his last 4 of 5 he’s averaged 3.5 ypc or less. I haven’t seen the phrase ‘hit the rookie wall’ yet so I’m calling dibs.
Hammer that keyboard like the god/goddesses you are.
This is all the logo and uniforms fault!
Makes up for Seattle bottling it against the Giants
My guess is Gase finally found a dependable supplier of vampire blood.
Or Kroenke placing bets on side to cover the stadium
I think they have plenty of lucre from Arsenal FC for that
Fuck you Rammmmmm It!
/out of DFO suicide
tricky cuz Jets haven’t even practiced Victory formation all year
It can’t be that much different from doing it without possession, right?
Please please please let this loss to the Jets cost the Rams a playoff spot. Please.
Look at MRSA Dreamboat w/o special lighting and makeup! Just looks like a random suburban Dad.
He’s practically glowing from the Patriots being out of the playoffs
Uh we did plays, and it was great, and a great win, we team, won
Please don’t miss out on my TB13 drink silo for the holidays
A perfume commercial during an NFL game? What the fuck?
Lattimore while injured is doing planks and shit that put non-injured me to shame
BAHAHAHAHA JETS HETS JETS
JESTS may just have iced
Holy shit. Jets are gonna win this game!
[thinks back two weeks]
Okay, let’s not be hasty.
macho grande
OH MY CATS TEH JEST ACTUALLY DID IT.
Remember – Iggles can’t kick a FG because they have no holder. They also maybe can’t punt!
Good! I love it when teams don’t back up unique skills 😀
You’d think, especially after teams quit carrying a 3rd QB, that there would be a “jack of all trades” reserve specialist.
Yeah, semi-competent long snappers/holder/maybe can kinda kick and may not block effectively but will totally try, kind of guy
Woo hoo! Cmon Iggles
would a 2nd Most Glorious Draw suffice? I am too pilled to do the maths.
“Woo hoo! Come on, Wiggles!” – Elisha, looking at the after school TV listings
Two of the Good Ones needs to have playoff analyst duties. He fucking rules.
I’m willing to take out the “futures/if continues on this trajectory” caveat. Patrick Mahomes is the best quartered back Hippo has ever seen.
Is he Athletic? Gritty? Poised? Well-spoken? YES!
You know… PHI going on a winning streak could mean… Team – Iggles Week 17 flex. Rootin’ for this; don’t want no SNF Week 17 blackout.
oh yeah, HATE that “no game” shit. Even if get trips each Wild Card weekend day.
This is a STRONG possible.
Arizona trickery
AND NO INELIGIBLE RECEIVER PENTALTIES
Koach Kliff Khaos!
JESTS don’t want to win
Would you want to play for this guy?
Oh hey, it’s the alternate timeline where Al Bundy was sorta successful!
His offense scored FOUR TOUCHDOWNS IN ONE GAME!
From Ed O’Neill’s wiki bio: He later transfered to Worthington High School, winning a state championship and earning the name Ed O’Winner.
of course, Prison Girlfriend knows his only plausible alternative…is Northern Florida
They’re all out blitzing that first pick
Okay it would be kind of cool if the Jets got the tie and went 0-15-1 and preserved their draft pick while avoiding the imperfect season.
I am actively rooting for this outcome.
I am too, now.
Is nice to have a goal, yeah?
This window done gone plaid, ain’t it?
I watch Jalen Hurts doing well, and I just hope he’s investing well, because nothing good is in the cards for anyone in the NFC East
HOLY SHIT HE COMPLETED THAT?????
Dude!
I mean, I can’t believe I really saw that fucking thing.
I only caught it proper on replay
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! gonna go FG, FG and we will get Extra Time and perhaps Most Glorious Draw
The Spruce Goose was a more successful plane than the Jets this year
BLEERGH melts steel beams better than jet fuel ppl forget that
Bobby Trees is single-handedly keeping Baby Buster afloat.
Is he related to Bobby Tables?
We recently fired up a new piece of software on campus that apparently can’t handle a student with the last name of “Null”. This is software that has been used by campuses nationwide for years now, and somehow we’re the first ones to run into this problem…
I love this. It is awesome and hilarious and seems like it should be fixed with quotation marks, but it’s even better if it isn’t
My headcanon for young Null is that s/he has been going through life wrecking databases left and right, pointing out easily-fixable input issues that should have been dealt with long before release.
I hope Null’s middle name is ‘ “
Y2Kid problem
Oh hey, Congress did a thing
$600 in return for Trump clemency for life?
Sharting is technically a thing, yes.
Thankfully it’s not a person nor a place
Rammmit probably isn’t going to lose this
Shush
Need a darnold pick six to salvage my rams d
Rams are now within six.
Shit. I figured it out. I know who the Eagles’ secret GM is.
SOMEONE SET THEM UP THE BOMB
Rams-Jets games is a full quarter ahead of Chiefs-Saints.
(proof that DFO has bettered me as a person)
Commentators: “…and that’s a Touchback.”
Me: “Touchback, my ass! That’s a safety!!”
TWO SAFETY DANCES IN THE SAME DAY
THE DAY WASN’T AS SAFE AS THEY SAID IT WAS
My all-time favorite joke from Futurama.
LOL….Saints? Yes. LOL
Two safeties in the same day? A safety of safeties!
Four safeties! A safety of safety of safeties!!
Four safeties! Safety squared safeties!
We need a Safety Deity
And it must be the sexiest of deities
Wasn’t it Orlovskor?
Danorlovski, perhaps?
Tupelor
I know it’s early and I run the risk of jinxing this thing but somebody here (me) had a premonition and dropped 10 bucks on the Jets and the money line at +950.
I’ll be in the back waiting for the anvil to drop on my head.
Resident chef, you a Japanese knife guy? (nawt Parcells)
Somebody should profit from this epic bed-shitting!
Goodest of lucks!
This one made me giggle
Made me expand, made me laugh.
.
THESE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS, I CALL THEM A BAKERS DOZEN CUZ THEY’RE TWELVE AND ONE.
Wow, that was some sad, pathetic, Grumblelord. I don’t know, of the two I kinda wish it was Brady who was doing the worst
Seriously though, those questions were bullshit. What do you attribute your shitty run defense to? We couldn’t stop the run.
Fuck. I dislike Grumblelord but fuck those questions.
It was Don Shula’s kids in the press pool trying to break him.
Happy Patriots Schadenfreude Day everyone. Is that still a thing?
It will ALWAYS be a thing.
Maestro, Viva, Sharky have not felt this way since Steve Grogan!
We do not speak of the Before Times. It is forbidden.
Absolutely. But, for me, not today. Fins are legit.
Pats fans are all holding out hope that Rudy will help them just as soon as his NEW lawsuit destroys the nation.
I haven’t seen so many official-looking people running towards Andy Reid since…
[damnit, moment has passed and I couldn’t think of anything]
He unwittingly stood next to that old abandoned well?
I was thinking some kind of slaugherhouse incident but drew a blank.
…local police thought he was a hobo who had just murdered Jovan Belcher?
It’s fun to imagine, in 15-20 years when all our jokes just kind of trail off in the middle.
I’ll be dead long before then.
There was a Code Red at the all you can eat buffet?
Bear: I am the Eggman!
Walrus: I am the Walrus!
And at SoFi Stadium, we return to our regularly scheduled programming.
I like my whisky the way I like my attorneys; stiff, aged, and not from a teevee commercial.
and from [DFO]?
I’d rather not get the chair but, hey, let’s see what kinds of deals are out there!
I’ve never met an attorney that’s Scottish and smells like a barnyard, but if I do I will employ such an attorney!
That “12 years old and mixed up with coke” doesn’t hold up very well these days.
THIS SENOR WEASELO, I CALL HIM HOMER DEALING WITH THE LAND OF JOCKEYTOWN BECAUSE HIS HORSE MUST LOSE AND THEY’RE NOT DOING THAT.
Frank Gore must have an addiction or just really have nothing better to do on Sundays.
JESTS handing the NFC West a big sloppy reacharound
Or not
Might still just be a degree of sloppiness