Another football week (the bulk of it, anyway) has come and gone. Swears were voiced, opinions advanced and many fantasy teams didn’t. So let’s wrap it all up in a nice oblong ball tonight. But first-
Fallout:
-CE-H apparently has a high ankle sprain and xrays show nothing else. He’ll likely have a nice little break to get healthy and rejoin the Chiefs as they march towards the AFC Championship Game-can’t see ’em losing before then.
-BUT STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED. Like yesterday’s unlikely final that now puts the Jags in the catbird’s seat with respect to getting Mr. Lawrence. The mathifiers say they’ve got 75% dibs on The Wavy-Haired Wunderkind.
-Somebody won a power struggle. Matt Rhule has been angling to be in charge of most things football in the Panther universe and he got his wish. The scuttlebutt during talks with the Giants was that in addition to the monster salary he wanted control over the draft, trades, the whole shebang. A certain GM Gettleman naturally pushed back hard.
-Congrats to the Fins (and Tua) for their win over the Pats. The times are a changing in AFC East Land and now Miami, by virtue of that W, owns their own destiny as far as the playoffs are concerned.
TO THE GAME!
Steelers/Bengalis:
-All Signs Point To No: One can likely forget about that upset magic happening again here tonight. Pitt has won 11 in a row and Finley has been asked to take them down.
Finley has a 52.6% completion rate and a 0-2 TD/INT number. I can see a ton of dumpoffs to the rb’s in his near future if he doesn’t want to get crushed by the blitz-forward Steelers D. If things go completely south there’s something called Kevin Hogan waiting on the sideline.
-The Cracks Are Showing: Big Ben is getting a bit of flack for the way Pitt is playing but his rb’s and wr’s are playing oopsy with the ball. They’ve had 14(!) dropped passes in just 3 weeks.
-Part Two: That running game. Guh. They’re averaging 89 yards per tilt, the line can’t run block and Conner is always hurt. If it takes 45 passes from Ben to win this game, just pencil them in for a second-round loss.
-Hell, as of this afternoon Draft Kings didn’t have a rushing prop for either Connors or Snell. That’s brutal.
Enjoy what’s on offer this evening.
Fuck this. I’m hitting the bourbon and watching Mothman Prophesies.
IT’S NOT HAPPENING!
/What would the opposite of a Ron Paul gif be?
Sorry, its the only one they had.
I can’t downvote myself? Oh, come on!
Gotcha covered
Did Roethlisberger pull a Tom Brady? I don’t think he shook Finley’s hand.
Time to trade Joe Burrows! Ryan Finley is the Bengals true savior.
Ryan Finley did it. Holy shit!
Lifetime contract!
Wow, Bengals somehow did not snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Good for them.
How does Cincy blow this one?
Go for it on fourth
Remember #ThePauls blocked FG that was going to tie the game?
Actually that was very smart by Tomlin, not using the timeout until the 3rd down play.
Fuck it score a touchdown
Will the Stillers lose out? People are asking.
I have faith in their ability to find a way to do so.
Now all the Bengals have to do is not mess up a kneel down.
Bengals win the Super Bowl! Bengals win the Super Bowl!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iqLhdInGrk
Sincerely happy to see Ryan Finley get a win. Now please disappear forever.
NOT and appropriate prom dress
Ah yes, eternal Mets AA prospect Tim Tebow.
Oh man, I want to blow this up into a poster and ask Tim to sign it.
Is he still a thing for the Mets?
I can’t imagine they’re going to bring him back after no minor league ball at all last season.
Nice play call.
-Sean Mcvay
Love Claypool looking for a flag after missing a pass in quintuple coverage
man, i liked that kid. too bad he’s been corrupted by the steelersway
“Always works for me.”
Tom B., formerly of Foxborough, MA
I’d love to be wrong, but I don’t see any way this isn’t going to OT.
No. If Pittsburgh scores, they’re going for two.
Boo
To illustrate how one sided the Bengals-Steelers Rivalry is: this is the most points the Bengals have scored against Pittsburgh since 2005.
24 points
Goddam. I planned on being in bed by 9 30 tonight. Instead the Bengals played well and I’m going to be hungover at school tomorrow.
With my luck I stayed awake for an overtime loss
One thing I like about Finley: he shouts “no, we’re good” when he doesn’t want to audible
So, am I supposed to assume that all the ads showing no one wearing masks and hugging and shaking hands were made before last March, or is the advertiser signaling that a mask-free world is what they support?
The ads for Vegas are the only ones I see that have some small type saying they were filmed before 3/20.
I guess the rest of them could argue that they’re just being aspirational.
Did you guys See UNT lose to App St earlier?
Andy Dalton never not more than 21 points against the Steelers? Huh.
not surprising in the least
Boise State, American Athletic Conference evaluating Broncos joining league as 12th football member – CBSSports.com
Who in the hell would want to go to the AAC?!
Didn’t UCONN actively try to leave the AAC?
Yup. The AAC is essential a slightly better Conference USA.
UConn left the AAC. They’re Big East in everything but football. In football they’re incompetent.
I mean independent.
That’s right. Impotent.
That too.
Ugh. This is the whole WAC debacle all over again. I get it, though. They will play more east coast teams and get better media coverage. Still, the conference changing is annoying.
Did the conference make a deliberate typo when sending the request?
See no reason for Boise to move anywhere unless it’s to a P5.
Buffalo at NE Next Monday: The Final Humiliation
The bills usually win that game, does this mean that the P*ts win?
Mostly I just want to see Josh Allen’s spine ripped out and his loved ones turned into a stew.
I’m sorry, did someone get addicted to going to Super Bowls every other year?
It IS a hell of a drug
I look forward to the ultra combo!
Dodgy zebra gift to graydick on that PI call.
Oh Bungles. He missed that throw.
Bailout flag? Hail BLEERGH and all that.
JuJu in the slot is also the story of how I was conceived.
Nice hands, Feet.
Bengals secondary coach
/revision/latest/top-crop/width/360/height/450?cb=20191115133707
Ben tried to jam it in there, i mean, come on
I haven’t seen low-hanging fruit like that since I had to clean up Mike Hutchence’s hotel room.
“Ben trying to slam it in there” Is he watching the game or reading a deposition?
Banner this
Good news: fuck the steelers
Better news: keep top 3 draft picks
Bad news: Taylor rehired
That’s why the Steelers are doing this!
Holy crap, Burger King actually used “Ding fries are done” in their Carol of the Bells. We’re through the looking glass!
Burn this fucking country to the ground.
I’m on it. D. Trump – Squatter – Washington, DC
Oh shit I never made that connection
Ding fries are done is what I sing to myself and would never sing out loud in case someone knew wtf song I’m singing.
The Pittsburgh Steelers are absolute clownfrauds. You hate* to see it.
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*You absolutely love to see it.
Wow, I just read that Elle profile people are talking about and… wow. That was one of those… like holy shit, this is how incels think about women things….
Dare I ask what you’re talking about?
Article at Elle Magazine about a Bloomberg reporter who left her husband and fell for convicted felon pharma bro Martin Shrkeli
AND SHE TALKED ABOUT ALL OF IT. OPENLY! THE THOUGHTS WENT THROUGH HER BRAIN AND TURNED INTO WORDS THAT CAME OUT HER MOUTH!
I regret that he’s also one of ours (HS I went to). Our bad. Will you accept more Lin-Manuel Miranda?
FUCK NO
¿Que?
https://www.elle.com/life-love/a35021224/martin-shkreli-christie-smythe-pharma-bro-journalist/
There’s a follow-up piece today too, where Smythe is all offended that people think she’s mentally ill.
I mean, it’s either that or she’s stupid as fuck so….
Oh NOW she’s worried about the sexism? She quits her job as a reporter because she “fell in love” with the criminal she was writing about? Then quits her job, divorces her husband, and blows up her life, sucking up the attention from her crush’s Internet friends while waiting for him to call her after ghosting her for the ten-millionth time??
Lady, when you meet the definition of a sexist stereotype….
Yeah, it’s pretty stunning lack of self-awareness. And professionalism. And judgment. ….
She should really take that out.
Scrambledown? Scrambledown!
Bengals legend Ryan fucking Finley
That Bengals fan in the Santa suit is absolutely not making it into work tomorrow.
Are they trying to kill Finley?
That aged well.
I guess if it works, it works.
Fuck you smart mirror. Sitting there on the wall judging me
What happens if a team can’t field 11 players? Is it a forfeit or a power play?
If a team forfeits in the middle of a game, are the teams still required to pay the players, or do they get to stiff them like in a pre-kickoff forfeit?
Is it a pro-rated amount?
Technical foul, two free throws and possession of the ball.
So, a safety?
It goes old school ,they play both ways
Touchdown Seahawks, of course.
I’m thinking power play, a la missing man formation
Touchdown Seattle?
When did they change Offsides to NZI? PC culture gone wild
It hurt the linemen’s feelings that they are offside
Bobby Hart did a good?!
This game I call it The Ugly Barnacle, because it’s been so ugly that everyone died. The end.
Oh, good. Finley is dead.
Steelers continue committing seppuku.