Your “It’s For All The Moneys!” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

For a big game it doesn’t get much smaller than this. But hey, if a 3-7 Mississippi State football team can play in a bowl game then why can’t a desperately underachieving NFC East squadoo sully the good name of “the NFL Playoffs”? I see no reason, your case is dismissed and court is adjourned. [thinks to self, “That oughta please all those lawyer types out there.”]

TO THE GAME!

Team/Eagles:

-If Team had even slightly below-average qb play this year they wouldn’t be in this mess.

-I guess Alex Smith being able to start can be construed as good news although his PFF passer rating comes in at 31st among 38 qualifying tossers. Still, better than a bottle of Taylor Heinicke, right?

-A league-leading 67% of Smith’s passes are thrown short of the 1st down marker. I mean, I hate to pile on but Jeezuz that’s lousy. “He ain’t take any chances at all!”

-Hurts’ rushing attempts have decreased from 18 to 11 to 9 in the last three weeks but you’d think he’s have to reverse that trend if the Eagles plan on winning.

-Overall, an effective run game is needed to effectively sell play-action against Team’s nasty, pressurizing D.

-Missing in action for Philly is Cox, Sanders, Goedert, Barnett and Mailata. For Washington, Gibson and McLaurin are questionable.

-The absence of Mailata is a big one for the Eagles. It would seem that as a left guard he’ll be replaced by first-time starter Brent Toth. He’ll be facing-you guessed it-Chase Young all game long.

-Go Eagles! (just this one time and nevermind if the Giants blew it earlier today)

Praise be unto you all. Or something like that.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That was.. something

Mr. Ayo

Me after every date.

Horatio Cornblower

Giants fans right now
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Beerguyrob

Their Twitter right now is fantastic.

Doktor Zymm

On the plus side, this has stoked additional divisional hatreds, which are less damaging and more entertaining than many other types of hatreds!

Bloody Lethal

Dougy P
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Gatoraids

If Sudfeld broke loose on open field Peterson would spear him from sidelines

Senor Weaselo

Can it be a palpably unfair act against your own team?

clint greasewood

bring out the field goal unit

Brocky

those dots are called an ellipsis you uncultured fuck

Sharkbait

Sudfield hand off to Scott up the middle for -1 yard

Horatio Cornblower

Imagine Pederson putting Hurts back in right now?

“Go get ’em, kid!”

Horatio Cornblower

Cris: “Don’t you love football?”

Giants Fans: comment image

Doktor Zymm

“Think how grateful we all would have been for even this game back in April”

clint greasewood

Did Chase Young always had the captain “C” patch or did he just stapled on Haskins’ “C” when Rivera ripped it off.

Horatio Cornblower

Eagles recover a fumble, return it for a TD.

Pederson goes for 2.

Senor Weaselo

And it’s a handoff to the defense.

litre_cola

Pederson calling a timeout is rich.

Sharkbait

Peterson calling a timeout here is just rubbing salt in the wound.

Brocky

pederson: great job jim

jim:…. what?

pederson: you didn’t do that on purpose?

jim: do what?

pederson: nothing

Horatio Cornblower

The Pro Bowl has more integrity than the last 1/4 of this game.

Bloody Lethal

Waiting for someone to pull the ref out of the ring just when Philly scores. Then there will be a steel chair. Or a crotch shot. Give me.

Doktor Zymm

LOL, Collingsworth has to pay his producer a bitcoin every time he says Redacteds?

Senor Weaselo

He should have to pay us a Bitcoin!

Gatoraids

Sudfeld on as nose tackle

Horatio Cornblower

Pederson calling the “jump offsides” defense here.

Horatio Cornblower

I want it on record that this was typed in before the Eagles, in fact, jumped offsides.

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t wait for the postgame interviews.

Brocky

this is the final game that 2020 deserved

Mr. Ayo

Absolutely correct. (Brocky, stop reading)

No one tell him.

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Brocky

oh god, they’re coming back?

Mr. Ayo

Hmm, seems you aren’t following instructions properly.

Brocky

…too late?

I’ve been a bad boy, do I get punished again?

Bloody Lethal
Horatio Cornblower

Look at #36 flailing at the fumble.

Bloody Lethal

Are we watching a WWF card?

litre_cola

I need 10 yards from Gibson and 6 from Terry. Please kill this off.

Mr. Ayo

RIP to you.

litre_cola

Got the Gibson prop!

Gatoraids

Both teams going into Victory formation for rest of game

Horatio Cornblower

There’s no conspiracy theory here, Cris: The Eagles are openly tanking a game that affects the play-offs for other teams and, more importantly their draft position next season. It can’t be more obvious.

rockingdog

LOL

on the National Broadcast too!

Gatoraids

Nbc fault for flexing a tank bait game to prime time

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a great point.

Bloody Lethal

Pederson afraid to look at his players. Examining his playsheet very hard for the “throw it up” or “fumble it ‘accidentally'”

Doktor Zymm

Ah, the vaunted “double hot potato” play

Sharkbait

I’m starting to get angry for the Mrs. here.

Doktor Zymm

Because NFL teams are supposed to try?

Sharkbait

The phrases “They’re throwing this game” and “This shouldn’t be allowed” have been said by her many times in the last 20ish minutes

Horatio Cornblower

There’s a general rule of thumb, (unwritten, as all rules in sports are), that when teams are playing a game that affects another team’s play-off chances, they at least try. Putting Sudfeld in just makes a mockery not only of that, but of every single one of the other Eagles players who are out there playing a violent game.

Doktor Zymm

Unwritten rules all got trashed with Trump

Horatio Cornblower

To be fair, the written rules didn’t fare much better.

Doktor Zymm

The energizer butter? Sounds good!

rockingdog
Gatoraids

Why they made him put a mask ln

SonOfSpam

“Vermin F. Cockwolf, Esq liked your reply”

Golden Motherfucking Age

Doktor Zymm

Wide and Inside is the 21st century version of Large and in Charge

Mr. Ayo

Come on Tie!

Horatio Cornblower

M. Hutchence, trying to work that knot loose.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
SonOfSpam

also, Jared Fogle’s answer to “What’s your favorite thing to do with kids?”

Bloody Lethal

Damn.

clint greasewood

Put in Wentz

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll admit it, I’m enjoying Al and Cris calling Pederson out for tanking here.

Bloody Lethal

I am not sure I’ve really seen this type of shit before…

Horatio Cornblower

Not during an actual game, no.

Gatoraids

Only Brent Musberger can bring this to life

Bloody Lethal

Go get him out of the study where he’s enjoying cigars and brandy.

SonOfSpam

Nathan Peterman is warming up on the Eagles sideline just in case.

Gatoraids

J Peterman as well

Brocky

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Sharkbait

♫ No You Cant! ♫

Mother Puncher

Sudfeld looks like Nick Foles in disguise

Brocky

does god know I’m not a fan of either of these teams?

Sharkbait

♫ Anything you can derp, I can derp better! ♫

Mr. Ayo

The Gang commits to the tank

Doktor Zymm

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litre_cola

This is just awful football.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh but wait! There’s more!

Sharkbait

NFC EAST! Catch the Excite!

Horatio Cornblower

Well, now it’s gonna look really bad when Pederson sends the punt unit out for the 1st play after that interception.

Bloody Lethal

He did you one better…

Horatio Cornblower

I’m playing checkers, he’s tanking a chess tournament.

Mr. Ayo

The Gang remains alive

rockingdog

Alert

Curry is goin off

go DUBS

Brocky

friend: if you found a genie in a bottle and got three wishes, what would you ask for?

me: #1. i would wish for some of the props from “who framed roger rabbit” to be real. #2 I would wish for Cris Collinsworth worth to be turned into a cartoon shoe, and #3. I would ask that the props and collinsworth and myself were in the same place all at once

friend: … why?

me: …. cuz

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rockingdog

LOL

Giants fans havin a breakdown

Bloody Lethal

I’m not crying you are!