The DFO Euro 2020 (In 2021!) Preview : Slovakia

We’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have:

• Copa América
• Euro 2020
• CONCACAF Gold Cup
• Tokyo Olympic Games

And it all starts on June 11, 2021 with the European Soccer (Football) championships aka Euro 2020!

Yes, it is 2021 but they decided to keep the name, ok?

From now until the tourney starts, we’ll be giving you previews for every country in Euro 2020, DFO-style, of course. We will also provide previews of all the Copa América countries as the Copa América starts on June 13, 2021 right after Euro 2020 starts.

Euro 2020 will be broadcast in English on ESPN in the United States and on TSN in Canada. Univisión has the Spanish language rights in the US and TVA has the French language rights in Canada. I don’t have the handy schedule embedded because I forgot to do this one and it is Tuesday night so figure it out.

Today’s team is : Slovakia

Country ‘fun’ Facts:

Other Litre: This place used to have a significant, way cooler partner in the Czech Republic, but the went through a Velvet Revolution.

Stoned Litre: Did their relationship break up and did you say Velvet?

Other Litre: That is not what I meant. It is Velvet Revolution where the two countries split quite peacefully. Alright smokey what do you have for this country?

Stoned Litre: Do you know what name day is?

Other Litre: No go on, this had better not be another dad joke you prick.

Stoned Litre: Just wait until I come home with Crocs and not remember buying them dickhead. Anyway, every single day there are two names picked and everyone knows these and it is on calendars. On this day you celebrate like it is your birthday!

Other Litre: Wow, that is actually pretty cool, like a double birthday.

Stoned Litre: Dude, what if your birthday, was, like, also on your name day? Do you get double presents or like the key to your village that day? Dude.

Other Litre: I do not know how I put up with you for the majority of the day. What else you got?

Stoned Litre: Wooden Čičmany village at the foothill of the Strážov Hills will blow your mind! All the gingerbread houses are original! The first mention of the village dates back to the year 1272.

Other Litre: The fact that they mixed cheddar popcorn with caramel popcorn blows your mind.

Stoned Litre: Yeah that is true but check this out.

Other Litre: Ok, that’s pretty neat.

Stoned Litre: Bratislava is the only capital city that borders 2 countries.

Other Litre: I know, its 60 kms from Vienna which is super handy! Ok, one more.

Stoned Litre: Since 2007, Slovakia has been the world’s largest producer of cars per capita, with a total of 1 080 000 in 2018 cars manufactured alone in a country with 5 million people. Vehicle production comprises almost 50 percent of Slovakia’s total industrial production.

Other Litre: Did you know Kia is one of the brands? Jaguar too. This gives me an excuse to post an old Czech car when they were lovers.

Stoned Litre: Nice Skoda. Heh, Velvet Revolution, I don’t care that joke sucked because this still bangs.

Team Schedule:

Slovakia is in Group E with Poland, Sweden & Spain. All times local:

• Slovakia v Poland – June 14 (6 pm, Dublin)
• Slovakia v Sweden – June 18 (3 pm, Dublin)
• Slovakia v Spain – June 23 ( 3 pm, Bilbao)

Team Preview / Top Players:

Stoned Litre: Isn’t Zdeno Chara from there?

Other Litre: I believe so. The only Slovak player I know is Marek Rodak. He’s the keeper from Fulham who lost his postion to an Areola this season. Let’s have a look.

Uhh, woof, only one guy is worth more than 15 million and he is a defender from Inter. This is not a good thing. There is no point continuing.

Best result when you Google Image Search “Hot [Country] food”:

Smažený sýr or vyprážaný syr is deep-fried breaded cheese made with Edam, Swiss, or Gouda cheese.

Yes please!

It’s a common Slovak street food for anyone who loves gooey cheese (NAWT HIPPO). Often served with mayonnaise or tartar sauce.

I’ll eat fried cheese at any time but you can get the fuck out of here with the mayo or tartar sauce, I will just eat it raw dog thanks.

Litre, Have you ever been to this country?

Sure have! It was what we name “The liver assassins tour” which was a month that took us through the Czech Republic, Poland, Slovakia, Austria and we ended up at Oktoberfest. We originally started out as a crew of four but after Prague and Krakow we had picked up four more travelers for the party. We arrived in Bratislava and immediately got lucky and got an 8 bed dorm so no stress with some random dude in the corner.

Bratislava has a mix of old Soviet style apartment blocks that can be seen from the castle which over looks the river and the city. Booze is incredibly cheap and the ladies are incredibly attractive. I do have one ridiculous story from our time there.

The eight of us were drinking at a pub underneath some retail shops enjoying cheap pivo, some laughs and good times. These two Serbian guys sidle up beside us and start practicing English etc which is completely fine at the time. One guy strikes me as a bit off, kind of aggressive and of course he is sat next to me . Well, my Canadian buddy comes back from a smoke and sits back down and this dude demands to sit next to him. I kindly explain that Mick isn’t that way and he is now uncomfortable with your shouting. He does not like this answer out of me.

“Fuck, your bitch mother.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, settle down mate.”

“I will fight you all, bitches.”

This seriously came out of nowhere, only because I knew Mick didn’t want some older dude rubbing up on him. He continues to berate us and stands up challenging us. There was one of my buddies who was with us who is a 6’4 Aussie from Townsville, family were farmers. Che stands up and says alright lets go outside. Serb guy did not see this coming but is still game.

“I spit on your mother.”

All 8 of us and these two guys have to go single file up stairs to the street while swinging at each other.

We get to the street, Che and Serb guy take their coats and,fold them?!? then put them down and finally square off. His buddy is pleading not to do this, the women that were with us were screaming.

It begins, and ends quickly.

This guy’s 1st move was an attempted reverse leg sweep.Seriously. Oh fuck welcome to troubletown. Che steps back to dodge and buddy falls over in a VERY vulnerable position.

Che cocks his arm, steps to him…… slaps him gently and pushes him over.

“Aww, mate, ya ain’t worth the drama.”

We left as someone had called the cops and we could hear the sirens. Ended up at a Tequila bar after. Was fun.

Why you should root for this country:

• You like the underdog, like real underdog
• You like different styles of perogies
• I really have nothing else for you here. I would rather watch all 3 of the other teams in this group

Why you should not root for this country:

• They are probably going to be boring and rely on defense
• You have 0 clue of any player from here
• Velvet Revolver shot their video in the Czech not here

Predpoved;

It is going to be an absolute beating. I really can’t put this any other way. Slovakia shares the lowest odds at 501-1.