Request Line: Titles

NT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are seated behind the desk, having another conversation (via speakerphone) with their location manager. 

JOLIET JAKE DELHOMME: …the homeowners are really upset that the parking restrictions went up early.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Well, get out there and take them down.

JJD: I can’t, the city is the one who put them up.  If parking enforcement comes by while I’m out there they’ll give me a ticket, and that’s just for starters.  If it goes up the chain and they get mad enough they could shut the whole thing down.

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: Relax, they’re not going to pull our filming permit just because you cut through a couple of zip ties.

JJD: Trust me, I’ve dealt with some of these local petty tyrants before, they can get pretty, uh, petty.

RTD: We’ve budgeted for that, I don’t understand why this is a problem.

JJD: What are you talking about?

DTZM: What he means is…hang on a second. [raises wristwatch to mouth] SIRI STOP TRANSCRIBING.

SIRI: TRANSCRIBING PAUSED.

DTZM: What he means is did you pay them their bribes yet.

JJD: The front half, yeah.

RTD: Great.  And if it becomes an issue you can let them know that there’s a back half.  Anyhow, we’ve got to go, Prince Harry will be here any minute.

JJD: You guys have a meeting with Prince Harry?  Holy crap, can you…

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY punches a button to end the call. 

SIRI: WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO RESUME TRANSCRIBING?

DTZM: No, that’s okay honey, we’re done for now.

RTD: Did you just call your watch “honey”?

DTZM: What? No.

RTD: [loudly] Honey, what time is it?

SIRI: THE CURRENT TIME IS ELEVEN THIRTY A.M.

RTD: Ha!

DTZM: Oh shit, we’re overdue for a Request Line post.

RTD: Shit.  How about…[glances around the office frantically, his eyes fix on the tea set that’s been laid out in advance of their visitor’s arrival]…royalty?

DTZM: Nah, we’ve already done that one.  And he’s not really royalty anymore, anyways.

RTD: What are we supposed to call him now?

DTZM: I don’t know, we’ll…oh!  That’s an idea, how about “titles”?

RTD: Huh?

DTZM: Titles!  Like, people request songs with their favorite titles.

RTD: What the hell, let’s do it.  I’ll get us started.  Honey, play “Prom Night at Hater High” by The Long Winters.