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Your Wednesday Evening Euro 2020 Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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Hi everyone,

Jake & I switched nights because AEW is on Saturday this week due to basketball. At least, that’s what I understand. Also, he’s not that into talking about the Euros like all of you – something about “betting the vig” and “Russians”. In any event, I’m told he’s out of town & definitely not hiding in his basement.

NFL News:

  • Well, someone finally got Derek Carr’s opinion.
    • “I have often said I love my teammates. I mean it. We always say we are a family in that Raider locker room, and we mean that too. I want to win a championship here with Carl and the rest of our teammates.”
  • The XFL bankruptcy has cleared, and the players are – you guessed it – getting screwed.
    • As Tier-3 creditors, they only get paid after higher priority groups get their money.
      • So, the 450 players on the eight teams each were due, on average, more than $14,000, according to calculations by a players’ group.
        • They will get 4-cents on the dollar, or just under $600 each.
    • When the league returns in 2022, owned by The Rock – it will be a new corporate entity & will owe former players nothing.
Author’s interpretation.
  • New Falcons head coach Arthur Smith said the quiet part out loud, admitting the Julio Jones trade was mostly for salary cap reasons.
    • “We feel like it was a win-win. With the salary cap, and Julio going to Tennessee and us right now being able to solve our short-term issue with the cap.”
    • What this does tell fans is two things:
      • The rebuild is going to take more than one year, and
      • Matt Ryan is going to lose his mind throwing over receivers who don’t know his routes.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Tampa at NY Islanders – 8:00pm | NBCSN
      • Game 6 – Bolts up 3-2
  • NBA:
    • Atlanta at Milwaukee – 8:30pm | TNT
  • MLB:
    • LA Dodgers at San Diego – 10:00pm | ESPN
  • Futbol:
    • Copa America:
      • Colombia vs. Brazil – 8:00pm | FS1

It appears the “Euros” are taking place in South America this evening. Given the number of German descendants in Brazil, it makes sense.

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Brick Meathook

U.S. National Arboretum

June 2021

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

A hearty FUCK YOU to Spectrum, as the internet has been out in our neighborhood for going on two hours, and i did some really solid procrastinating that is just completely fucked now.

0
TheRevanchist

Hard to watch porn on the phone. The WiFi is definitely needed for the tablet. Fuck Speculum!

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eh, I’m not really into speculum porn and just wanted to finish some work tonight.

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Gumbygirl

It’s off to Benadryl land for me!

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Doktor Zymm

Sweet dreams!

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Gumbygirl

I cleaned both bathrooms and did three loads of laundry today. Now I feel like someone beat the snot out of me, it’s fucking ridiculous.

2
Doktor Zymm

Laundry is evil. Forget flying cars, where are the nanobots that live in my clothes and eat all the dirt off them so we don’t have to do laundry?

3
Gumbygirl

I don’t hate laundry as much as scrubbing toilets and mopping floors, but I don’t love it. I do, however, looooove clean sheets, so there ya go.

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Mr. Ayo

I’ll never forget the horror in the eyes of my friend when I told her I only washed my sheets once a month.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Once a month? Look at Rockefeller over here!

(I keed, but when I was in my 20s….)

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Doktor Zymm

I see no reason we shouldn’t have toilet cleaning nanobots as well!

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Doktor Zymm

Yummy! These spicy chicken corn puffs from the South Korea box are good!

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Doktor Zymm

Just went ice skating for the first time in probably 8 years. It went well! Of course, I only went counterclockwise. I will have to learn all over again clockwise. But was able to string together a few crossovers, still got straight line speed, can stop without falling over, and even did a bit of backwards skating and managed to go from forwards to backwards and vice versa without falling, so overall a big success! Skated for 30 minutes and don’t think I will be sore at all, but we will see. Gonna celebrate my triumphant return to the ice with some wine

4
Mr. Ayo

I only tried once at a young age and my ankles almost died.

Doesn’t make sense as I can rollerblade like a total douchebag.

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Doktor Zymm

That’s a common problem, and anything is sore tomorrow it will be my outer shin. Once I found my balance and relaxed the stabilization gets more evenly distributed between ankles, knees and hips. Then it isn’t so bad

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Gumbygirl

I would love to skate again, but I really can’t risk a broken hip. Gumby is not supposed to drive anymore.

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Doktor Zymm

That’s a bummer. I have lots of natural padding on my hips which helps, but still happy I didn’t have to test out my falling ability yet. Ice skating is one of those weird sports that doesn’t seem all that dangerous but still generates a lot of injuries

0
Gumbygirl

I used to love it. Peggy Fleming was my sports shero as a kid. We had a pond in our yard, I used to skate for hours, then I discovered boys and my Olympic dreams died on the vine!

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Doktor Zymm

Stupid boys ruin everything! 😆

You would probably pick it up again pretty quickly, but it sounds like it isn’t worth the risk. When I first stepped on the ice I was very wobbly. I would say it was the fourth or fifth time around that I started to feel steady again.

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Senor Weaselo

Hey, only going counterclockwise works for NASCAR.

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Doktor Zymm

When I was a kid I was pretty sure I could skate as fast as an Olympic speed skater, and that is basically the NASCAR of the ice skating world. And I never actually tried it, so there is no proof that it isn’t true! It is still possible, if not probable, that 10 year old me was faster than Olympic speed skaters!

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Brick Meathook

Let’s have a roll call. Who is actually here tonight?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m here. So is my cat.

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Doktor Zymm

Can we see a picture of your cat? Ya know, for proof and adorableness

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Mr. Ayo

Present.

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Doktor Zymm

Not me, I am over there

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Gumbygirl

Is anyone really “there?” And if you are, couldja bring me a snack?

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Doktor Zymm

Gladly! I am shamefully behind on my snaxx consumption and sharing would be a fun way to make progress!

1
Brick Meathook

My late dog Frankie says “OK.”

He went to another plane several years ago after a long life, so you needn’t give condolences.

Frankie was a good dog. All dogs go to Heaven.

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Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

Frankie is thinking “What the fuck am I doing here?”

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Beerguyrob

I wrote the damn post, so I can come & go as I please.

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Beerguyrob

Besides,

78C2A1E5-8658-48B9-BFCE-103F61110573.gif
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TheRevanchist

One of my testees is here. The other I lost in the war of 1812. Nut saving technology wasn’t available in those days. We only had booze, a belt to bite, and a field surgeon who knew how to use a saw. A few barn raisings later I was able to urinate again without the morphine.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Estoy aquí.

But i was very tardy.

0
Horatio Cornblower

This featured image is giving me an idea for a mock draft…

4
SonOfSpam

Comedy movies? Just can’t place where the pic is from. Herbie the Love Bug or White Chicks, those are my best guesses.

1
TheRevanchist

90’s music videos

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Brick Meathook

Airplane engines

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Beerguyrob

FINALLY someone points it out…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think “magicians” and/or “witches” would be an interesting draft. I’d take Granny Weatherwax at some point.

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Doktor Zymm

Not if I drafted her first!

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Gumbygirl

Uncle Arthur from Bewitched.

0
Gumbygirl

Ha, I googly lenzed it.( because I’ve never seen it) Well played!

0
Sharkbait

Tampa. Stop playing with your food and end them

1
Mr. Ayo

Stupid Ice Jets.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Aroldis Chapman is having a complete meltdown on the mound.

You just hate to see it.

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Beerguyrob

Is he nekkid?

1
Senor Weaselo

“It’s not what you want.” -Joe Girardi, while seeing Max Scherzer strip for substance checks

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Brick Meathook

Good ol’ L.A. Times, the dumbest newspaper in America.

ALSO: There was a three second long earthquake in Los Angeles about three hours ago, epicenter beneath the In-N-Out Burger right next to Runway 24R at LAX

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Horatio Cornblower

“Neymar goes down”

There’s something you don’t hear every day.

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SonOfSpam

Nice header by George Clooney’s tequila.

1
litre_cola

Smash and grab job.

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Horatio Cornblower

One of these days my dreams will come true and Neymar will leave the field on a stretcher.

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Mr. Ayo

Well, he’s going to be carried off the field this time anyway.

1
Mr. Ayo

They could play another half with all the stoppage time from flopping in this game.

Last edited 4 years ago by Mr. Ayo
1
BeefReeferLives

They should just call it “floppage time”

1
litre_cola

Neymar is such a little bitch. He is yelling to card the Colombians. If the shoe was on the other foot he would be right in the refs face.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’d love for Colombia to walk off the field here.

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litre_cola

Finally the breakthrough. Watch this go 3-1

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ballsofsteelandfury

Good call

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ballsofsteelandfury

Ooooh! Ball hit ref!

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Mr. Ayo

We’ve found the Brazilian Morata!

2
Redshirt

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner distance themselves from the former President and his constant complaints – CNNPolitics

Now I already know this will be an unpopular opinion, but this is a good thing. These two assholes know where the bodies are buried, so the sooner we can get these two to flip, the sooner we can get Trump in prison and the sooner we can move on.

As for them getting away scot free with no punishments for their crimes…well I’m backed myself into an ethical corner. I have an idea that may alleviate some of your concerns, but as a person with German ancestry, I recognize an issue me suggesting giving two Jewish persons identifying marks for the purpose of shaming.

So it would be wrong for me to suggest that we follow the example of Aldo Raine in Inglorious Basterds.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

I think Ivanka can run for President and win in 2024. Her versus Kamala? Landslide.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Please be wrong.

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Dunstan

I don’t see any scenario where Ivanka wins the nomination. GOP voters don’t want some watered-down version of Trumpism, they want the cask strength.

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ballsofsteelandfury

If he promotes her, she sure as hell will.

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Dunstan

Nah. Remember, Ivanka doesn’t have the stomach for what you need to say and do to win that nomination. She still wants to make sure she gets invited to gala events by polite society.

First time she’s in a GOP primary debate and is asked whether she, I don’t know, wants to put children in cages, she’ll waffle and say no of course not, I would be very tough on immigration but no cages. DeSantis or whoever will say “double cages! Triple cages! Very tiny cages with rats in them!” At that point, it doesn’t matter what Donald says.

3
SonOfSpam

lol nah

She has none of the (hateful) charisma of her old man, plus MAGA people don’t want no skirt in charge. She’s dull as dishwater and nowhere near as useful.

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

They’re not going to flip on their horrible family. They’re virtue signaling in the most meaningless of ways to, as Dunstan put it, try and get back into the good graces of the cocktail party circuit.

0
litre_cola

Brazil can’t buy a goal. They are all over the Cocaine Cowboys.

1
Sharkbait

Preach. I just made a pro/con list of three roles. One I got an offer for today, the other two I expect offers tomorrow and Friday.

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

509 traitors arrested thus far. Better break out the Efrem Zimbalist Jr, FBI!
https://www.npr.org/2021/02/09/965472049/the-capitol-siege-the-arrested-and-their-stories#database

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litre_cola

Second dose booked for Friday. I will be licking doorknobs in no time.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was so close to falling asleep for a little nap before that earthquake

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Dunstan

Just a 3.4, right around El Segundo

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SonOfSpam

If he hadn’t moved recently, I’d say it was just a Yeah Right chili fart.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Donde esta El Primera?

1
TheRevanchist

What Dunstan said.
https://youtu.be/WILyWmT2A-Q

Last edited 4 years ago by TheRevanchist
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Gumbygirl

I didn’t feel it up here. It’s been raining all last night and today, we even had some spectacular thunder and lightning. Good stuff!

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Rain has a dampening effect on seismic activity. Trust me, I have a BSci in Geology.

When I was in university, the theory of continental drift and plate tectonics were only 20 years past being pretty much universally accepted by the academic community. Wegener first put forth the theory in 1912 or so, and he was ridiculed until they started doing magnetic surveys of rock surrounding tectonic spreading centers on the Atlantic and Pacific ocean floors in the 1950s.

Fuck I am old. But not geologically old.

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Horatio Cornblower

I took one Geology class in college, 101, “Rocks for Jocks” Every exam was True/False, the professor hadn’t changed the exams in years, and I had a connection with copies of the old tests.

I finished every exam in less than 5 minutes and had a high A average.

To this day I can barely recognize a rock.

0
Gumbygirl

I took Geology too, but my professor at Georgia was new and verrrry digitty. Her TA was supposed to take us to Stone Mountain to identify strata or something for a lab, but he got hopelessly lost on the way and I had to get us out of the sticks and on the right path. This was before gps on a cell phone.I got an A just for rescuing us, I don’t know quartz from schist to this day!

0
Doktor Zymm

Me: “aha you little schist!”
*nearby teenagers look offended*
Me: “What? I’m talking to this rock”

1
Doktor Zymm

There were a couple centered just a few miles from me yesterday, but must have been tiny because I only heard about them on the radio this morning

0
Mr. Ayo

Bicycle kick golazo!!!

1
litre_cola

This game is spicy.

1
Redshirt

Olympics: Local fans allowed, but no cheering – Chicago Tribune

Olympics only having up to 10,000 fans? No cheering? They all go home afterwards? This may be the first time that Cincinnati is ahead of the trend.

10
Viva La Tabula Raza

Japanese fans usually just stand and politely clap. Look at some old concert footage from over yonder. I think they have let their hair down a little since the 20th century, though.

1
SonOfSpam

Did the Japanese go and sit down and have dinner with Pearl Harbor before they bombed ’em?

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I have it on good authority from Senator Blutarsky that it was actually the Germans that bombed Pearl Harbor.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
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Beerguyrob

Banner?

1
litre_cola

Approved.

1
herodotus450

If Max Domi had any other last name he’d might be my favorite player, but instead I’m gonna make a cheap joke about how two generations of Domi’s have held back Canadian teams in the playoffs, apparently.

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

If you are able to be in WI and can vote against Putin’s current #1 sleeper agent, Ron Johnson, then it’s worth it. But I doubt if it works that way.

1
Gumbygirl

Do what’s right for you and your family. If one of those jobs in Tucson comes through and you want it, don’t feel bad that you are not taking the WI one. They wouldn’t have any problem getting rid of you if it suited them. Don’t stress so much, we want you to be happy Jake!

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it the 4th of July yet?

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXNok_t2c8U

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Two years earlier, Laurence Olivier was NOT the good guy like he was in Boys from Brazil.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avNraWT8CSI

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Beerguyrob

And a generation refuses to go for the dentist.

3
scotchnaut

I’m tired/drunk. Good Night!

2
litre_cola

I live in a constant state of tired. Have a good sleep.

1
Mr. Ayo

I live in a constant state of drunk. Have a good sleep.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I live my life in the stunned disbelief that Rod displays on this album cover.comment image

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