Will the two quasi-Nordic lovers continue traipsing across the European battlefield? Or will the dirty English pigs (and Ian Darke’s really bad-smelling tongue) have their wicked way? Tune in, 3p EST on ESPN. I may watch on mute, but God as me witness, there will be no match commentary unless England go two behind. And maybe not then, since all blame will belong to Jordan Pickford, since he doesn’t play for one of the Big Six/Sky Five.
In short, fuck everything and find some 2nd-world action. HAIL GAMBLOR!
Litre: Well I just lost the words I wrote (thanks wordpress) so I see how this day is going to go.
It has come to this, for the ABE’s (Anyone but England) camp our eggs are in the Danish basket. They do play a sexsi brand of football but losing Eriksen early really hurts in matches like this. It would be more delicious for England to lose in the final to the Italians but let’s just get it done now Danes shall we?
My inlaws have Danish ancestry and their love of Akavit runs deep. I decided to dress Decilitre appropriately for daycare today.
Kasper Schmeichel showed some pretty good with in a press conference this week.
Kasper Schmeichel was asked what it would mean for Denmark to stop football ‘coming home’ with victory over England in their Euro 2020 semi-final at Wembley on Wednesday; Schmeichel: “Has it ever been home? I don’t know, have you ever won it?”
Wat
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2021/jun/20/phil-foden-says-teammates-will-copy-haircut-if-england-win-euro-2020
Thank fuck I had a 4:30 client call. I am done with footy for a bit.
Over/under on the Tube out of Wembley getting shut down for vomit/fighting?
Never tried vomit-fighting. How do you win?
My guess is by saying you love England MOAR!
And definitely not the Phillies fan way, by puking on the father who told you to knock that shit off.
https://www.espn.com/mlb/news/story?id=5098407
That guy seems like he’d be good at it.
https://imgur.com/2oiWHJe
Oh brother
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DsJ5aYK-S6Y
There it is.
Maybe the Danes could play with the ball a little bit?
You’ve got two hands, dammit!
Whenever they mention the Danish keeper’s name, I hear it as Smeagol.
ARRY KANE IS TRICKSY HE IS
I HADS THE PRECIOUS, HE TOOKS IT FROM ME
England going to bring on 4 guys, Danes are gassed.
It’s all to play for now!
That pass on the free kick (to the unmarked guy on the right) was how my high school soccer team scored the goal that won us the state championship.
I have something in common with Christian Eriksen in that I think I’ll be needing a defibrillator at some point.
I have errands to run with a four year old, this is totally going to penalties.
Losing on penalties would be a typically England thing to do…
If you could drop my wife off at the garage (40 min. round trip because boonies) while you’re out there, that’d be great.
Danish defense is tougher than Joan Collins’s diaphragm.
Ay, this game isrockin
No fuckin way penalty
yea dog that looked like a penalty
I said no comment!
Finally figured out which breed you are-British Bulldog, no doubt about it.
Commenting has come to a stop-is everyone nervous? Masturbating? Or maybe nervously masturbating?
I’m watching my dog, who is in REM sleep.
She lets out muffled barks from time to time.
Are you sure she doesn’t have Tourette’s? There was a woman who lived near my Uncle Mike’s beach house in New Jersey that used to yip and growl all day on her front porch. She also yelled lovely stuff at the kids, like Shit up your ass! And my personal fave, Smell your holes, you hogs!
Good times down the shore!
Don’t be silly. Like we stop commenting when we masturbate?
LOL
https://twitter.com/Birdyword/status/1412860941339877382
dude
Harry kane needs to do somethin here…
Blow a hamstring?
have a heart…TOO SOON, ABED!!
Get red carded?
Danish keeper is a keeper.
Such strong hands…
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve seen this stupid Heineken ad I’d be able to buy lunch for myself and Todd Marinovich.
“Yes, I’d like the pork banh mi and some crack.”
Todd really would feel right at home in the Fullerton/Garden Grove area.
I had a pork banh mi yesterday,it was really good. Little hole in the wall Vietnamese place in Yucaipa.
What does “all to play for” mean? Is it only when the game is tied, or simply any time the game is still up for grabs?
Of all the fruits, watermelon is the least “fruitlike”, right? It’s basically diluted soda water.
I’m about to have some watermelon.
One down, 99 to go.
Did I turn the teevee box off at 1-1? SURE DID, OTHER HIPPO!
Lesser footy really has a harsh definition of “own goal,” doesn’t it? Just seems to me like that ought to be reserved for true blunders, not every ball that deflects off a defender
I agree with this. Also makes the own goals more humiliating!
Oh good – the banana cakes I ordered
BOW WOW!
Sterling!!!!!
This game is ROCKING!
‘tis
Mm. Another OG.
We need a deity for own goals.
Has to be that Colombian fella that got killed.
Absolutely.
Ice Muthafuckin’ T!
Jason Pierre-Paul?
We could always repurpose our god of safeties, Orlovsk’hor, for this.
Mr. Blair Witch.
CruzTweet
Fuck.
Damnit, Denmark, wrong goal.
Very very fine work by the keeper there.
Too bad he couldn’t overcome that shot from his own defender.
Am I the only one here cheering for Jolly Old England?
I’ll let Celine break the news to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGrLb6W5YOM&ab_channel=CelineDionVEVO
Enough about my sex life.
Probably just you and that imperialist devil Cecil Rhodes, although apparently his train hasn’t arrived yet. Probably tied up with the Prussian ambassador again, arguing about access to the ports of German West Africa.
Time to put more Danish in the box than Entemann’s has ever dared dream.
“Danish in the box” sounds like one of the less popular Balls Search Terms
WOOOOFFFF
thats a ROCKIN free kick beauty of a goal!
I am not gonna lie: I’d have been even happier if that ball had hit Harry Kane square in the face and never even gotten to goal.
There’s plenty of game left.
GET INNNNNNNNNN
HAHAHAHAHAhhH
Agreed, that is rather amusing.
Droll, even.
“D-Roll? But enough about the footage of Rikki-Tikki-Deadly that we shot for that investor relations video…” – BFC
COPENHAGEN 1807 IS AVENGED, YA LIMEY BASTARDS!
A FUCKING SCREAMER! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No yellow for punch in the face? Is that the Argie ref?
found a funny:
https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/1412823649699217409
For someone who criticizes Bill Simmons for writing the same thing over and over again, Drew sure does seem to write the same thing over and over again.
He was quite original 10 years ago.
Before his brain exploded.
I wondered if my apathy would abate once the match kicked off. It did nae.
Pickford taking a page from the Joe Hart school of goal keeping.
Wait, which one of these is that?
“She’s GORGEOUS” — Max
Robert Wagner is just happy to have a woman who floats.
No, this one:
Eh, he’s no Calamity James.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=teyN32EblIs
“Nailed it”
-You know who
The first England goal is going to be a dick punch.
Strange, I thought Dick Punch didn’t make the final roster.
Dick Punch is what would be served at one of Mike Pompeo’s parties if I happened to be left alone with the punchbowl for thirty seconds.
England vs Denmark is ROCKING!!!!
So cool to see the stadium packed and Rocking!!!
God help us, if Dan & Mark don’t bring the maximum sexy tonight,
Reminder: You may be cool, but you are not Rick Wakeman In A Wizard Coat Dominating All The Keyboards While Geddy Lee Sits In On Bass cool.
There may be better Rock and Roll Hall of Fame performances (Prince shredding on guitar), but this was the one I enjoyed the most.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWqMX854V8o&ab_channel=SonicAxiom
ESPN paid good money for the rights to use that Queen song on their Wimbledon coverage, and they’re going to make sure they get their money’s worth…
I don’t watch much tennis…which Queen song?
And why the fuck isn’t NBCSN playing the fuck out of Bicycle Race during every Tour De France broadcast?
I actually don’t know. I’m sure it’s a famous one, but I can probably only name a handful.
Ah, found it — Don’t Stop Me Now.
Shocking that the supposed XFL-CFL collaboration isn’t coming about.
CFL, XFL end talks for potential partnership – TSN.ca
shocked
well kinda shocked
okay, not shocked at all
It’s weird to me that the XFL is considered to have any real brand value. XFL v.1 was a gimmicky failure. XFL v.2 was less gimmicky, but also a failure.
If you want to start a spring football league, why would you want a brand name associated with failure? It’s like naming your cruise ship Titanic.
Hell, at least the USFL (and I seem to recall hearing that someone is trying to revive that) had a good run and is fondly remembered by some people.
It’s not like the CFL has a great history when expanding into the USA, so neither really has the branding of a winner.
Should just call it the RFL ( Rock Football League) and market the shit out of it.
Can you smelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll what. The Rock. is.
backing away from?
Does this mean he won’t change his name to The Rouck?