The tevee fuckadoos called last Saturday “Week Zero” – even though the results count (sorry, Cornfuckers). So in a technical sense (the best kind of right!) tonight is Week 1 kickoff. You have some halfway decent fixtures!
Temple (+14) at Rutgers (6:30, BTN)
Y’all remember I called (and wagered) the ML for Illinois? I am now advising the same for Temple. They are perpetually a pain-in-the-arse opponent, and this line seems a vast overreaction to the new manager bump and/or ded cat bounce (for 2020’s Schiano Men). Expect some reversion to the mean in Year Two, as teenagers are quite adept at tuning out the yelling.
Boise State (+5) at UCF (7:00, ESPN)
Here’s your “fun and gun” offering, though Hitler Mice being at home robs us of the blue field. But just think of how much #NuAIDS2 – Delta Force! they can take back to share with Idaho, and the rest of the Mountain West. FUN SHIT!!
South Florida (+14) at NC State (7:30, ACCN)
I have to watch, so you should too. Help a brutha out!! Yes, this line makes me nervous, but only medium-ish. The Bulls really should be shite, as I note in my full preview here. Maybe wave to Hippo’s kid, as I imagine she will go?
Appalachain State (-10.5) v. East Carolina @ Richardson Plantation (7:30, ESPNU)
So much North Cakalaky, so little time! Everyone around these parts generally likes Happy Appy, and despises EZU (even though their School of Music/music education program has really impressed me and oldest HippoSpawn). As I have mentioned before, the worst fucking people in the world are EZU football/U*NC basketball hybrid fans. See both bumper stickers on same car? Run those motherfuckers into a goddamned pole.
Ohio State (-14) at Minnesota (8:00, Fox)
One hopes this is a sign that Fox will be more creative getting semi-interesting fixtures into non-traditional broadcast windows. This will likely be the most value you can get on tOSU all season, so bet accordingly. I also wonder how effective Mr. “Row the Boat” is, once you’ve heard his spiel a few pre-seasons already.
There can’t possibly be anything else going on that merits your attention. Rob Manfred is a galactical disgrace.
What We Do In The Shadows is about to start. Goodnight peeps!
I see herodotus450 is still in the review booth judging targeting calls.
SAFETY DUNCER IN ORLANDO
Sunset Blvd just starting on TCM
Are you ready for your close-up?
As always, the Carol Burnett version is shorter & better.
Same with Gone With The Wind
I love the movie. Gloria Swanson chewing the scenery, it’s fabulous.
Gloria Swanson was a health food fanatic and was in her late 50s. William Holden was a hard drinker in his early 30s. The story is about a young man who gets involved with an older woman. When they would watch the dailies (sometimes called “rushes”) William Holden would often look older than Gloria Swanson, and they’d have reshoot the scenes.
Always, Mr. DeMille!
Major League was added back to Amazon Prime, so I couldn’t resist.
1st observation: the incredulous look the GM gives the owner when he asks “you want us to LOSE?” If you were making that today, you could have the owner be wanting to tank for draft position, and Jake Taylor and the boys would be the villains of the piece for actually trying to win.
Second observation: she’s the same MILFy cougar from “Secret of My Success”.
The Jake Taylor stalking his ex bit has aged badly, but then I knew that the last time I watched this like 20 years ago.
I don’t think I ever noticed that Harris, the born-again Christian greaseball pitcher, is reading a Hustler magazine on the plane.
Riot shields and laser pointers!
US turtles should just take the draw so they live to see tomorrow.
Good for El Salvador.
4 hours later and I still don’t know what Targeting is.
It’s like Walmarting but with fewer fat people.
Nobody does.
Love tOSU celebrating not getting a penalty for braining a guy.
I just had a Door Dash delivery of chili from Dinah’s Restaurant in Culver City California.
I am the happiest guy in Playa del Rey right now, I can tell you that.
I’m also the handsomest and I also have the most combat decorations.I also have a huge cock.
I’m about to make a vegetable stir-fry. Which I think means I’m obligated to have steak this weekend.
I had gourmet pizza from a local place i hadn’t tried before. It was delicious.
I made tacos with frozen salt and pepper fried calamari, and an Asian salad, drizzled with hoisin sauce. Salad came from a bag. I’m feeling very lazy today, but it was good.
As long as it was good. Thats what matters!
Don’t forget you were also unanimously voted Most Likely To Succeed by the Ivy League and crowned Poet Laureate For Life by Federal government.
yeah I remember that
Your I Love Me wall must be spectacular!
I don’t even know what that means
You never ran into that guy in the Navy? The one that put every award he ever got on the wall, not just the plaque but the write up too, including Good Conduct awards? Pictures shaking hands with every CO or XO? I don’t believe you!
No one told Brick he was that guy apparently.
We called those guys “Donny Dolphin “
I was a single hitch sailor, and a Nuke, but our submarine crew had a distinct social order, and all sorts of jokes existed. One was “call me a son of a bitch, call me an asshole, just don’t ever call me a lifer dog.”
Thank you for your support during this evening’s draft and beer consumption. Final results (2 QB ppr keeper league):
AA-Ron
Tanny Fanny
Davante
Deebo
DK Metcalf
DJ Moore
Tee Higgins
JuJu
Joe Mixon
Gus Edwards
Mostert
Singletary
Fournette
Kelce
Rams D
.
.
.
.
.
Justin Fields and Mac Jones
Yahoo gave me a B
Buddy Cole will give you a D
You’ve gotta buy him dinner first, though
Halftime, USA and El Salvador nil-nil in a snoozer.
Gotta win these games (road games against shit opponents)