It’s been four years now, is anyone happy with the direction of Rikki’s Raiders? Seems to me the success of the season relies on a tremendous number of ‘ifs’. Oops, I’ve gotten ahead of myself. On Mondays I usually do a follow up on Sunday’s action. Here it comes…
Fall Out:
-Who the hell is Elijah Mitchell? This week’s trendiest pickup, that’s who!
-The Fantasy Gods have spoken-they don’t want Jeudy and Sutton playing together. So do you grab Patrick or Hamler?
-Them Gods are picking on Scary Terry as well. Imagine how happy he was to have Harvard on board-finally, semi-competent qb’ing! Alas, he’ll have to wait for a few fortnights. Btw, “Subluxation” sounds like an expensive accessory on a new Tesla vehicle.
-Jax proved that having a coach that is a control freak with anger issues isn’t the way forward. Will Meyer change in any way? Nope.
-Was Cincy’s coaching concerned at all about Chase’s ‘catching’ issues? Not one bit-what a non-story. Ja’Marr had a 90% snap share and a 27% target share. If Burrow can remain upright that Bengals O should be deadly and entertaining.
To The Game!
Ravens/Raiders:
-A crowd in Vegas for the first time. Look for plenty of shots of displaced roid abusers with spikes on their shoulder pads and silver paint on their (acne-scarred) faces.
-Did ye know that the Ravens have won five straight openers and have not surrendered more than 10 points during that streak? I don’t think it ends here. Of course, I thought the Titans were going to blow out the Cards, so what do I know?
-I have some bad news for Jacobs owners that need him to come through ce soir. He is trending towards playing but-this is nuts-of his 19 TD’s scored, 17 have come in victories. Sounds like we got ourselves a frontrunner here.
-All eyez are on Ty’Son although Lat might get some work-though that should be very straightforward run plays given that he’s had only the smallest of peeks at the playbook.
Do you need someone to come through tonight? Let us know below.
SHORT!
/not ray rice fan fiction
Is the game over, ref?
Coach I don’t think we survived
Every Single Redshirt Death in Star Trek: TOS – YouTube
Holy mackerel.
Sorry Ayo, Sorry redshirt
I’m not dead yet!!!
?ops=scalefit_630_noupscale
And somehow, I’m still awake.
I’m liking this Derek Carr with the speed holes helmet.
Or, hopefully, the holes are Gruden audio get-outers.
Renfro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2Z9qN8R9Bg
Fear and loathing in overtime from points for Andrews up by 4 against him
Serena williams as wonder woman would be better than WW 1984
A throwback to the 1977 AFC division playoffs between the
Oakland Los Angeles OaklandLas Vegas Raiders and theBaltimore Colts Cleveland BrownsBaltimore Ravens.or alternatively, the 2000 afc championship game
That works too.
I thought Colts moved directly to Indy, and the Browns directly to Baltimore…?
Well, I did ask what happened if my Suicide Pick ties. I only have myself to blame.
Suicide is pick a winner. Any team tying is not a winner.
They’re a loser, just like your pick would be.
That was explained to me.
I’m a Blackjack player at heart: Win if you can, tie if you must.
Acid wash jeans Davis probably cornered the world supply of Jordache
well shit.
So… MOAR VEGAS FOOTBALL
I can haz moar football?
Can I get an Owen Wilson “wow” and an “amen”?
No, DFO can only afford a Joey Lawrence “Whoa”
Let’s get some free football!
I can win with one more Tucker FG!
As many as 10 extra minutes added to week one!
Welp, that smiling shirtless fat guy would be an interesting Quotable.
Well this sure would be nice. However, I am Mush!
That will do Lamar, that will do.
U pull ahead?
I pulled a head, but then I got paid for it.
Up by 2.38
i’m up by 4.02
yay fantasy
Why does Scott VanPelt look like a fire-roasted Corn Nut?
He looks like Fire Marshall Bill Burns from In Living Color.
If nothing else, My Raiders made this worth watching, which is a pleasant surprise.
(insert Photoshop of Mark Davis’s head onto Russell Crowe’s body)
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Beating the spread greatest of Vegas wins
Oh, please, I hope Lamar took one hell of a shit before this drive.
Now you’re just talking dirty!
No, I could talk dirty but the DFO Overlords frown upon NFL Coprophilia.
Maybe Gruden should stop rushing an injured Josh Jacobs for… uhhh… I think it’s been 2x holding penalties in a row.
Anyone else just get a Eye of Sauron vibe when they showed that shot with the fake flame in the background.
From Bowlcut Dur
Look at the Raiders thinking they’re good
They’re waiting to go to the raider themed Cirque Du Soleil show Puntique
Las Vegas seems like a nice, disease-free place to enjoy a game.
What happens in Vegas stays in your penis.
Please Raiders ,just score.
1 RB league? Sickos.
14 person League, so there wasn’t going to be enough RB to go around.
You win if they do?
Just giving Lamar a chance with the ball.
Fuck, all I need is 3 points from Lamar and a course Watkins gets tackled short of the TD and asshole Raiders let Maury walk into the end zone.
Monday night fantasy football anxiety the worst
When this is all over, I’m gonna end up loving Tom Brady, aren’t I?
I already am. I’m ashamed.
Gross
I like Giselle.
Just keep pulling this picture up:
Not me. I can hold a grudge.
So, is this when the Raiders completely collapse, or they gonna make this a game?
Need 10 more out of BAL and 7 more out of the Grudens. Could happen. Whoops! Bombski to Watkins. Chunk not dead.
Oh christ, they gave Eli the remote. He keeps rewinding and replaying, now I’m fucking seasick.
In his defense, its probably the first time the family gave him the ‘mote.
Overstimulated with too much screentime today
Some of this, “Good for Carl Nassib, making a TFL while gay,” and “Look at how free Carl Nassib is playing now that he’s out” stuff is striking me as a little tokenistic.
Just a little.
Took me way too long to figure out what TFL was
“Well, the T is for Total and the L is for Life, and the F is for that word they won’t let me say anymore.” — Richie Incognito
Representation and recognition matters.
At the same time, I imagine Carl Nassib wouldn’t mind just being a football player instead of being THE GAY FOOTBALL PLAYER.
I’m just not sure you can tell a player is out by the way they pass rush.
Imagine talking to someone from 1981 and telling them the Baltimore Ravens were playing the Las Vegas Raiders. They’d wonder what sport you’re talking about.
In other news, the storm’s really starting to pick up down here in the Houston suburbs. I’m not particularly worried–we didn’t flood or lose power with Harvey (knock on wood) and we’re stocked with groceries, so we should be okay. Biggest issue will be dealing with a bored 6 year old if the internet goes out…
You’re 6 years old?
Yep.
7 times over.
Evening
Wrasslin’ Update:
Big E won the WWE Championship off of Bobby Lashley. I’m expecting breaking news about Vince’s disappearance and Triple H being a person of interest at any moment.
Vince just trying to stick him with the NFL raw ratings crash
Hunter: “The ratings went up one point for the last 15 minutes to see if Big E would win the belt.”
Vince: “That means they want Lashley to be championship, dammit! We gotta put the title on him.”
Hunter: “Steph, either you put him in a home or I’m leaving. I mean it this time!”
Big E is the new WWE champion
Charm being slung with Peyton and Eli.
There can be only one
Is everyone quiet or is the site crapping out
Refreshes every 3 mins now unless you do it yourself like we did when we tied onions to our belt.
Site’s fine; we’re just all intoxicated at this point.
Speak for you…all of us!
This FOOTBALL IS BACK is starting to grate.
THIS RAIDERS QB I CALL HIM GENERAL MOTORS BECAUSE I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I’D EVER TRUST AN AMERICAN CARR
Oh, I forgot. God hates me, or at the very least the teams I root for.
Just get me 4 points Lamar
Wanted to see play action bomb there
SUDDEN POSSIBLE CHANGE
Sudden Change!
Dear Sonic —
You’re not selling a Grilled Cheese Burger. It’s called a patty melt.
Thanks,
Everyone.
In their defense, Sonic has never served real food.
Maaaaannnnn, that’s been driving me crazy.