Holy shit, do I regret wasting my naptime yesterday. I could have used a nap in that dire noon window of JV fixtures.
Today I learned nothing. Except that UGA is as good as everyone thinks.
Florida (-7.5) at Kenfucky (6:00, ESPN)
This is almost always an excellent game, that Blue Moons almost always fucks up at the death.
Baylor (+4) at Oklahoma State (7:00, ESPN2)
Surprise Undefeated? Meet Other Surprise Undefeated! The consent abstinent against the BDSM enthusiasts – should be fascinating as to who imposes their will on the other, eh?
UConn (+14.5) at Vanderbilt (7:30, ESPNU)
YES, tonight’s slate is so bad that I can highlight this clash of titans. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD VANDY BE THIS HEAVILY FAVOURED. I moneyline bet the Fightin’ Horatios (+450), and expect to be kicking myself for betting only $30.
Auburn (+4) at LSU (9:00, ESPN)
Surprise Mediocrity? Meet Other Surprise Mediocrity. The loser of this game will have a verrrrrryyyyyy rough week with the alumni/sports talk callers.
Arizona State (+3) at UCLA (10:30, ESPN)
Seriously, even the Tweaker Slate is meh. This is really the best I can do, hoping that Herm Plays to WIN the GAME away to Westwood Klavern. YMMV.
Since all these shortages on various items has started, the large Midori bottles have been more scarce. Hence, my need to drink more Midori has gone up, and I’m savoring this flavor just a little more than normal.
Oh, and Fresno State lost. They always have a hard time in Hawaii. Something about partying before games, from what is traditionally known from all teams that go to Hawaii to play away games.
Per Spam’s Zendejas comment, there was a guy on the team named Aguilar, one of probably only 2 or 3 Latinos on the whole team. Once he started kicking, the coaches just called him Zendejas. I’m 97% sure they did not know his actual name. And yes, they were pretty racist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eafMhqoOvk&t=194s
There’s actually a video posted in that blank space
Anyone else drive 800 miles today or am I the only idiot here?
I didn’t drive 800 miles today, but I’m still an idiot, damnit!
UCLA needs to td here, or I’m going to go read.
Narrator: UCLA did not td.
In my head, “td” and “read” rhyme in this case.
HMMMMMMM
I AM PROGNOSTICATOR, THE MASTER OF PROGNOSTICATIN’
And I’m proud to be the anti-prog.
Well done.
I told you my neighbor I know to say hello to came over yesterday to invite me to her church lady group? Did I also tell you she is unvaxxed, and she and her husband have their own “regiment” which includes the horse dewormer? I was backing up so hard I tripped on my stairs. Get the fuck gone, unclean spirit!
Ugghhhhhh. The “I did my own research” crowd doesn’t seem to know a whole lot about how research, medication trials, peer review, etc. works.
Just tell her that your regimen for warding off COVID is nightly prayers to Satan.
I told her I wasn’t a church kind of girl. I really had no idea she was a total looney tune, but hey, at least she doesn’t have worms?
On the bright side, at least you know she’s more likely to shit herself than you are
In case you’re looking for something fun to listen to:
https://twitter.com/ShutdownFullcas/status/1444516587294363649?s=20
WOMPIN!
Those guys are so great.
I was fortunate enough to see them when they did live shows in… 2019, I think? It was hilarious and hopefully they’ll be able to get back to that eventually.
The original “WOMPIN” jokes from a couple of weeks ago had me laughing so hard.
And there goes the Mariner’s postseason chance.
Never have hope, people. Tis a false facade designed to crush your heart.
LET’S GO!!!!!!
NOT DEAD YET!!!
BELIEVE!!!
A 4 way tie for the AL wild card spots is now in play.
CHAOS! Let’s do it!
Luckily for you, you were playing the Angels.
CAN’T YOU JUST FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!!!!????
https://twitter.com/ChrisVannini/status/1444500107521675264
I’m about to explode! Just filled to the brim with anticipation! About to pop!
If there ever was a game for a David Carradine….
An explosion of bad football!
And cum apparently.
I appreciate you taking the head-on approach
I assume the game will be over within minutes.
Halftime will be called “the refractory period”
Magnificent bastards, the lot of you.
Takes one to know one.
Oh Jaysus.
URBAN MEYER’S WIFE RESPONDS
https://twitter.com/spinnershells/status/1444126205201031169
Look, my wife is probably the coolest woman on Earth, but I promise you if I were out getting grinded on by co-eds, (who then showed photos of me obviously drunk and accusing me of flirting with them) while she babysat grandkids I would absolutely take a frying pan off the head.
But then, I’m not making millions a year to coach the Jags for a few months before faking a medical issue and taking the USC job.
(also if we had grandkids at our age she would hit the kids with a frying pan, but that’s neither here nor there)
She’s too busy spreading vaccine misinformation to worry if her millionaire husband is getting some coed strange. Who knows? Maybe she’s taking the pool boy for a spin while Urban’s in Ohio?
Is she one of those? If so, fuck the both of them.
I don’t know how the leftovers I was planning to eat when bad so quickly, so I can only assume that the gods wanted me to order pizza.
Safe assumption
I’m trying to work up the ambition to make dinner. It would take 7 or 8 minutes, but that seems like a bfd right now. I should smoke a doob, if I get hungry enough I will overcome my torpor.
I had pizza tonight. It was amazing. It had pineapple on it.
NO RAGRETS
I don’t hate pineapple on pizza, with ham and sliced jalapenos. I’m doing chicken tenders with toum and a tiny bit of zhoug, on pitas with lettuce tomato, onion, and tzaziki.
Go ahead and ship some of that to my house. It’s in Texas. Should be easy to find.
I make a left at Albuquerque!
See? You know the way!
I had spicy Mexican food.
My regrets will begin tomorrow morning.
You just ate on credit.
Gotta pay for it later.
Worth it. Good planning doing it on Saturday. Sunday funday coming up!
Just me, a closed door, and the NY Times Sunday crossword.
Aw shit, sorry you guys.
Criminy, now I actually feel bad for those kids.
Arizona State’s kicker is a Zendejas, of the Arizona Kicking Zendejases.