Your “Please-For The Love of Whatever-Please Mute Your Devices” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Welp, let’s get this over with. There’s nothing to be said that hasn’t already been uttered over and over again.

To The Game!

Bucs/Pats:

-I guess the singular question for New England is whether cautious and underwhelming rook qb Macaroon Jones can find anyone in the secondary on a consistent basis.

-As you know, Bucs cb’s are fussing with injuries. Davis is uncertain, Murphy-Bunting is on I.R. and Jamal Dean is out for this one. And let me tell you, Richard Sherman isn’t walking through the damn door anytime… Uh, what?

-So yeah, Richard Sherman is walking through that door and apparently starting as well according to a few sites. It’s funny in that I heard Sherm himself say on the radio that he needed at least a week to get into shape and up to speed. Huh.

-Of course if you’re PPR’ing in a league it’s a full go for Jacobi “No TD’s” Meyers. He just might end up with 18 targets if the game script has the Pats falling behind early. Do they have anyone that can go long? No one comes to mind.

-Let’s not all lose sight of the bigger picture here-the Pats could be sitting at 1-3 later tonight.

Guh. I spent more time on this than I wanted to. (it wasn’t very much time anyway) As Belichick would say, “Do Your Job”, in the comments.

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
273 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Horatio Cornblower

“That’s a 3-read progression” Cris gushes, as Mac Jones hurls the ball straight into the ground, then follows up with an interception into double-coverage.

litre_cola

He does it the white right way!

Sharkbait

I love how the other team, and the broadcast crews stay in Providence, the closer city. But they show Boston all the time.

Redshirt

Tom Brady gets no Broken Record Ceremony? Somehow I’m expecting Goodell to declare this game a Palpably Unfair Act and order it replayed from the start.

Anthony In TX

But Brady will get to keep the yards he gets during this version of the game

rockingdog

Update;
There’s there’s 4 ppl here including myself.
Gonna wag more than bark and befriend the bartender.

Anthony In TX

Befriending the bartender is always a smart move

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Sharkbait

Feel like they’re missing another “S” for Strip Clubs.

jjfozz

DMX is dead. quick! let’s use his most popular song to sell amazon.

Sharkbait

Half the internet already runs on AWS. Why do they need to advertise?

Anthony In TX

It’s a weird use of their unlimited money. The average person isn’t going to just go out and “buy” some AWS. It’s more of a PR move than an advertisement. Odd thing to promote.

BugEyedBoo

Yeah, I’ve seen ads for SAP when I was bored enough to watch golf or tennis.

Anthony In TX

“I’d like one AWS, please.”
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
“Oh! Okay, I’d like one AWS meal, please.”

Brocky

comment image

Gumbygirl

Is that the Duchess of Sussex?

Brocky

you and I both know she’s too light skinned

jjfozz

Todd Haley and Steve Belichek own matching camaros with primer paint scattered across the hood, hanging from the rearview mirror is a Hustler air freshener and each car has a tape deck with a copy of Boston’s first album permanentl stuck in them

Horatio Cornblower

Gee, I hope when Brady breaks whatever record he shares with Brees, (most bad faith advertising?), they stop the game for a 30-minute slupfest.

Redshirt

Stand by for Peak Brady Fellatio.

Redshirt

Belichick’s son? Bill Belichick reproduced?!

Sharkbait

Mitosis

Anthony In TX

“MO-AH LIKE MIGHT-OSIS BECAWSE HE’S THE MIGHTY BILLY B! GO PATS! YANKEES SUCK!”

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, with your mom.

Don T

Some spores fell into a vat of lipids

Horatio Cornblower

“matching wits with Steve Belichek”

Oh god, there’s a contest.

Redshirt

Bucs DC proceeds to down shots of bleach.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
jjfozz

The NFL letting players choose their numbers reminds me of the mindset that gives trophies to everyone, just for participating

Redshirt

I missed the start. Did the New England fans give Tom Brady a hero’s welcome or accuse him of being an active homosexual?

Horatio Cornblower

“Too big a moment, too big a game” spews Cris, talking about the 4th game of a rebuilding season.

Redshirt

7th Round Rookie RB takes snaps due to injuries to all QBs; throws incomplete pass

Cris: “They guy needs to be pulled. He’s clearly not the anaswer.”

jjfozz

jesus fuck what a horrible call

Horatio Cornblower

If that’s not a forced fumble by the D then are we even playing football anymore?

Sharkbait

Guess we’re done here.

Horatio Cornblower

The answer is no, we are not playing football anymore.

Redshirt

We haven’t been playing football since the 1990s.

Mr. Ayo

RIP Meyers. May Belichick have mercy on your soul.

Mr. Ayo

Nevermind. Refs still instinctually favor the P*ts.

Guess the checks are still cashing.

Doktor Zymm

When the NFL expands to Australia, the team should be called the Fighting Emuscomment image

jjfozz

Look! a fan has a jersey that’s half one teama dn half the other!

IVE NEVER FUCKINGSEEN THAT IN A BILLION YEARS AND I JIZZED MY PANTS

Sharkbait

See my comment below.

Mr. Ayo

I yelled DOUCHE at my screen when it appeared.

I regret nothing.

Sharkbait

The Frankenjersey concept needs to die a horribly slow and painful death.

Gatoraids

watching casual track drag racing is a good way to drown out the game audio.

jjfozz

THEYRE BOOING TOM BRADY IT IS THE END OF TIMES

FUCK ALL OF THEM

Sharkbait

Most NE fans are terrible.

Horatio Cornblower

Also younger than 25

rockingdog

Mac from Quinzieee

rockingdog

Bahahaha

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. Yankees-Red Sox at Fenway. The Wild Card Game nobody wanted, because fuck you if you thought chaos would actually reign.

Sharkbait

Just waiting for all the Bucky Fucking Dent callbacks

Horatio Cornblower

I will be at that game.

I am not wearing Yankees gear, because I am not suicidal.

yeah right

I find khakis and a subtle navy polo do the job.
Right as rain
Say no more.

Last edited 3 years ago by yeah right
yeah right

Much love Brother Weaselo. Actually rooting for you this time.

jjfozz

reviewing my comments from friday night, yeah no wonder i fell asleep on the floor. didn’t even make the couch.

Anthony In TX

For what it’s worth, you had me laughing hard. Your posts were damned entertaining.

jjfozz

I have this thing where I’m kinda drunk, but going to bed would be a good idea, then i drink another bourbon and beer, always gotta go right up to the tipping point and stumble over it.

however, I am glad you were entertained cause yesterday morning was not fun

Anthony In TX

I imagine it was rough.

Prior to Mrs. In TX’s sobriety, I used to do something similar. We’d go out and get a good liquor on, and after we’d come home and consummate, argue, say goodnight, or some combination of those, I’d stay downstairs, drink, and play video games for another hour or two. Many mornings I awoke on the couch with a ripping headache and a nearly-full “one last drink” to accompany me.

WCS

BLEERGH ain’t wastin’ no time.

Gatoraids

Steve Belichick vs Brady at long last

Gatoraids

Real story tonight is someone going back to Boston after leaving” – edsbs on twitter

Anthony In TX

It begins

rockingdog

Need Mike Evans and Fournette to get some TD’ssss against this Pats defense.

Gooooo Foootballll!!!🏈

Gatoraids

Evans with 40 and Im good thanks Tyreek on other team

rockingdog

Found a funny;

When I say “I’ll be there in spirit” I mean I’m haunting you

WCS

I think the bourble is going to 21 tonight.

ThePirateSloth

Did they ask Tawwmy From Quinzee if he was gonna cheer for Brady?

Mr. Ayo

They asked his mom apparently.

comment image

ThePirateSloth

YAH FACKIN TELL EM MAH!!!

EyodzGWWEAUHVJP.jpg
Gatoraids

Legally he changed his name to Mac from Quinzee

rockingdog

YES!!!! 🙌
New recurring character on DFO.
That would be Rocking!!!

rockingdog

Baahahahaha

litre_cola

Was it Antonio Brown that used to jerk off on his bible study partner?

Don T

Maybe he was just being a Baptist

rockingdog

This is RockingDog
Reporting live from a bar here in New England!

Yay Football! 🏈

TheRevanchist

Would you say “That’s barking’!”

jjfozz

They are reading tweets from patriots fans

first, i had no idea patriots fans knew about twitter

second i didn’t know they could read or write

jjfozz

DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT TOM BRADY GOT EMOTIONAL?

YES

EMOTIONAL

EMOTIONAL

HEY FUCK TOM BRADY

Doktor Zymm

Emo Tom Brady is Emo

Doktor Zymm

Although I prefer Emu Tom Bradycomment image

Last edited 3 years ago by Doktor Zymm
jjfozz

I just hope everyone in Gillette Stadium tears their ACLs at the same time Tom Brady does. And then they all die like Jonestown.

Gumbygirl

I really don’t think I can watch this

facebook_1633290881637_6850518478016569245_287642975012979.jpg
TheRevanchist

I love all the people at home who are hating on Tom Brady right now. I can feel the entire nation’s hate filling up my loins.

I like the dude, mainly from all the fantasy football teams he’s help me with. A great talent.

Anthony In TX

Immensely talented. Best QB in NFL history.

A total weirdo and a MAGA dipshit Trump supporter. So while we recognize the talent, we can also hate the man.

jjfozz

my youngest is making his first holy communion next year and i’ve had to sit through a parent meeting about that, and today i got to sit in a meeting about reconciliation

what a heaping load of bullshit.

like my friend said, “I was a Catholic until the priest was raping my classmates and all they did was cover it up.”

Yeah, I get it.

Anthony In TX

Former Baptist here.

The level of hypocrisy at all levels of the church and in all denominations is staggering. Far be it from me to criticize another’s beliefs, but the church and its rules don’t really hold up very well under scrutiny.

jjfozz

THIS GAME TONIGHT I CALL IT A JOHN HOLMES FILM FESTIVAL BECAUSE OF ALL THE JIZZ THAT’S GOING TO BE FLYING IN THE AIR TONIGHT

Redshirt

I just found out about the Urban Meyer video. Holy crap.

Gumbygirl

Christian values.

Anthony In TX

Glass blowers call their furnaces “glory holes.”

The more you know.

WCS

comment image

Col. Duke LaCross

Best DFS haul I’ve ever had today. Thanks Boris!

rockingdog

That’s Rockingggg!

Doktor Zymm

I am having fun watching 60 Minutes. It’s the interview with the FB whistleblower

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is it you?

Doktor Zymm

I don’t have enough savings yet to be a whistleblower. It is a data scientist though!

litre_cola

DId you get the new job?

Doktor Zymm

Had a follow up interview on Friday, so don’t know yet

herodotus450

“And, they claim the coffee in the break room is dark roast Sumatra beans, but it’s actually Ethiopian…”

Redshirt

Tom Brady’s team is playing New England? That’s an intriguing game. Wondering why no one brought it up.

Brick Meathook

FUN FACT: TB QB Tom Brady used to play for the Pats.

Not many ppl know that

WCS

No joke? I had no idea. Next, you’ll tell me Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.

litre_cola

Guys, they catch fish in Seattle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG_OK33HBWI

litre_cola

Brick do you know about tight ends who may have played basketball as well?

Anthony In TX

Here’s another one: Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard. Very few people are aware and no one ever mentions it.

jjfozz

JJIMMY GRAHAM USED TO PLAY BASKETBALL!!!! DO YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT? DO YOU?!?!?

litre_cola

I plan to find a stream for this in a language where I have no idea. I can’t do the slurpfest but have $$$ involved.

1 2 3