2021 Quotables – Week 4 (Results)

blaxabbath -
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I’m sitting in a HYBRID (yes, the future is an amazing place!) industry trade meeting this morning and we’re going over the organization’s budget for the coming years. One note that I saw on a slide was that our food budget for an Indianapolis event is greater than for a San Diego event. I badly wanted to make a Indianapolis = Fat joke but Zoom sucks and delivery is everything and my internet is choppy. Also, being an industry meeting, many of the meeting attendees are fat fucks.

Anyways, I hope you all feel as dirty as me after this week’s #TheReturn Quotables edition. Hey, sometimes you just gotta slum it though, right? What’s that? Word count is very very very very….very…met? Super. Submissions are here and please find your Week 4 Quotables results below.

“This ‘Twins’ reboot looks awful.” – Game Time Decision
“Forever a Patriot” sounds like something Ashlee Babbit would have bloodily gurgled to a medic before her injury status was downgraded to LFG (Long Fucking Gone) – Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“Introducing your new head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars!” -LemonJello
“How did this much genius not work out in Cleveland?” – BrettFavresColonoscopy
“’Down low…too slow…down low…too slow…’ – a shellshocked Eli Manning, reliving a traumatic two-weeks-ago memory” – Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“It’s like a Potemkin Village with cardboard cutouts of mouthbreathing fuckwits.” – BrettFavresColonoscopy
“Glad to see that Bill still has the same love and affection he has for Tom as he does his own children.” – ArmedandHammered
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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scotchnaut

I’d like to point out that AMC is showing a “Final Destination” marathon. “Final Destination 2” is immediately followed by “Final Destination 5”. The one following after that? TAKE IT AWAY, MISSING PERSONS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WDly1Oc_P4&ab_channel=MissingPersonsVEVO

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Gumbygirl

Life is so strange.

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scotchnaut

When you don’t know.

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Mr. Ayo

Was expecting this on sexy Friday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq4OtRsdXls

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Dunstan

Urban Meyer: “Great, so I’m the most hated NFL coach now.”
Jon Gruden: “Hold my Corona.”

7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Say what you want about the man, but you can’t deny that Gruden is pretty deft at working in the product placements (NO ONE DENIES THIS).

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Dunstan

So I understand why the attention is on the racial stuff, but I am amused by the fact that Gruden referred to him as “Dumborris.”

THIS GUY DEMAURICE SMITH, I CALL HIM DUMBORRIS BECAUSE HE’S REALLY FUCKING DUMB. GET IT? NOT LIKE ME, I’M SMART. YOU THINK A DUMB GUY COULD COME UP WITH STUFF LIKE “DUMBORRIS”? I DON’T FUCKING THINK SO.

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SonOfSpam

I know we’re professional commentists, but wouldn’t DuhMaurice be better?

Also for the tire brand? Always always always choose Kumho.

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Gumbygirl

It’s Michelin, Dumbbunny.

1
SonOfSpam

Hate it when racists can’t spell.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to say something to Bobby Big Wheel but I have no idea what.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Like, the whole THIS GUY joke form took a serious body blow today.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I really enjoy a winning quotable from a game I didn’t watch, especially this week. (X2)

2
Mr. Ayo

The Potemkin village one was my favoUrite.

2
blaxabbath

“Wait — do you dummies think you need to watch the game to submit?

–

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Game Time Decision

if that was the case, I’d neva get to comment.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM AN UNVACCINATED NBA POWER FORWARD WHO HAS BECOME A MEDIA DARLING BECAUSE HE’S HAVING A GREAT WEEK COMMENTING BUT NOT SO MUCH WHEN IT COMES TO POSTING.

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