To The Games!
Packers/Bengalis:
God, I love the upset potential here. Mixon didn’t practice all week but is expected to play. This looks like a great spot for Burrow in that Jaire Alexander is out and he gets Tee Higgins back. Now if the Cincy D could play well…
Lions/Vikes:
Though he’s playing, expect Cook to be spelled frequently by Mattison. Kirkie, though he gets picked on here, has been picked but once this year.
Broncos/Steelers:
Surtain looks as though he’ll play and should be (mostly) lined up on Diontae. Patrick allowed 7 completions on 9 passes last week. Luckily the Pitt passing game is going south rather quickly. PFF’s five worst-rated qb’s include one backup, three rookies and Ben.
Fins/Bucs:
This one will be painful. Miami will fall behind, won’t be able to run, and will have to ask Brissett to get them out of the mess behind a line that gives up pressure all the time.
Saints/TEAM:
The N.O. D just gifted Sir Dimes A-Lot his first 400 yard game. TEAM is 29th in yards allowed and 30th in points allowed. Heinicke’s 70% completion rate and 8.1YPA masks the fact that he had 3(!) INTs dropped by defenders last week.
Eagles/Panthers:
Moore and Darnold need each other. When they ‘hook up’ the latter has a 115 passer rating. Last week Dallas took control of the game away from Carolina by running the ball at a 6.7ypc clip. Expect Philly to try the same thing, starting with Hurts.
Titans/Jags:
Being a rook qb is tough enough but Lawrence is stuck on a dysfunctional team and his coach isn’t helping. Does he even talk to Meyer? Who knows.
Pats/Texans:
Mills has a 53.7 passer rating from a ‘clean’ pocket. It’s the worst in the league by more than 10 points. Expect Old Bill to massage all of Mills’ numbers in a way that would make owner Kraft proud (and horny).
Let’s keep it going out there. Don’t let up!
And I would shank 5 straight field goals,
And I would shank 5 more field goals,
Just to be the game that shanked 10 straight field goals including overtime
This game is making me want to haver.
All have Doink’ed and fall short of God’s glory
“We welcome those of you who were watching the Eagle and Panthers” could just as easily be “give us your tired, your poor, you wretched viewers yearning to be free”
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
Okay, SHANK’LOR, you’ve made your point….
Oh, come on! This game can’t be happening!
Oh, it’s happening.
That counts as a point for DOINK, right?
Packers/Bengals is just amazing
IT HIT THE FLAG! IT HIT THE FLAG!
Back…and to the left. Back…and to the left.
Lulz
FULL PLAID!!!!! FULL PLAID!!!!
DOINKGAZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 teams 2 cities where no one wants to live, 2 missed regulation winning field goals, 2 LEGIT
22-22
Oh WAIT, 2 OT MISSED FGS
I haven’t seen Mixon hit someone that hard since…
You know what? Never mind.
GAME BREAK!!!!
Here’s a quarterback warming up.
Upon further review, that is a catch.
Touchdown Seahawks!
A plethora of missed FGs to set up a tie that’s a scorigami would be just a delightful treat.
Shankl’or looking to unseat Bleergh as chief among gods this week.
Time to give Crosby the Old Yeller treatment!
Crosby channeling some of that Cosby karma.
I love football and ALL HAIL SHANKLOR AND HIS MINION DOINK
Rodgers is gonna kill that kicker
Packers/Bengals is field goal heaven
Is this real life?!
Oh ma gawd!
BANANACAKES ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!
Holy shit.
HAHAHAHAHA
TEDDY FAHKING BALLGAME!
Can we get a few more doinks for a tie?
Packers are getting ready to turn a 1st and 10 from the Bengals 20 into a 50+ yard FG attempt for poor Crosby
Let’s replace Burrow with Nathan Peterman and see if anyone notices!
Let’s replace Mason Crosby with me and see if anyone notices.
It’s funny just a few comments below there was a discussion about what would be the MOST BUNGLES way to lose this game.
What the shit, burrow
Good tackle, though
Burrows’s Bad Bungle Batters Bengals
THANK U BASED NICK FOLK
No time-outs, 80 yards to go, 15 seconds on the clock, and Davis Mills under center.
Texans have ’em right where they want them.
We are just living in Shank’lor’s world.
Bananacakes! Get your FREE bananacakes!!!
[glances up at the heavens]
Looks like Shan’khor and DOINK are duking it out tonight.
-sigh-
I’ll get the umbrellas.
It’s raining bananacakes.
DOINK-KAKKE
Packers/Bengals is officially bananacakes
Spaghetticakes in Cincy.
/edited
Double Doink Discount
Goddamn Cincinnati.
— Redshirt
Fucking Bungles
Bananacakes!
Doink IT!
stupid Bengals
SHANKL’OR REIGNS SUPREME IN CINCINNATI!!!!
TWICE!!! THRICE EVEN!!!
You’re once, twice,
Three times a Shankl’or
And I Bleergh you
Sing it, Lionel!