Your NFL Football Open Thread Numero Dos

To The Games!

Packers/Bengalis:

God, I love the upset potential here. Mixon didn’t practice all week but is expected to play. This looks like a great spot for Burrow in that Jaire Alexander is out and he gets Tee Higgins back. Now if the Cincy D could play well…

Lions/Vikes:

Though he’s playing, expect Cook to be spelled frequently by Mattison. Kirkie, though he gets picked on here, has been picked but once this year.

Broncos/Steelers:

Surtain looks as though he’ll play and should be (mostly) lined up on Diontae. Patrick allowed 7 completions on 9 passes last week. Luckily the Pitt passing game is going south rather quickly. PFF’s five worst-rated qb’s include one backup, three rookies and Ben.

Fins/Bucs:

This one will be painful. Miami will fall behind, won’t be able to run, and will have to ask Brissett to get them out of the mess behind a line that gives up pressure all the time.

Saints/TEAM:

The N.O. D just gifted Sir Dimes A-Lot his first 400 yard game. TEAM is 29th in yards allowed and 30th in points allowed. Heinicke’s 70% completion rate and 8.1YPA masks the fact that he had 3(!) INTs dropped by defenders last week.

Eagles/Panthers:

Moore and Darnold need each other. When they ‘hook up’ the latter has a 115 passer rating. Last week Dallas took control of the game away from Carolina by running the ball at a 6.7ypc clip. Expect Philly to try the same thing, starting with Hurts.

Titans/Jags:

Being a rook qb is tough enough but Lawrence is stuck on a dysfunctional team and his coach isn’t helping. Does he even talk to Meyer? Who knows.

Pats/Texans:

Mills has a 53.7 passer rating from a ‘clean’ pocket. It’s the worst in the league by more than 10 points. Expect Old Bill to massage all of Mills’ numbers in a way that would make owner Kraft proud (and horny).

Let’s keep it going out there. Don’t let up!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Dunstan

And I would shank 5 straight field goals,
And I would shank 5 more field goals,
Just to be the game that shanked 10 straight field goals including overtime

Gumbygirl

This game is making me want to haver.

Spur

All have Doink’ed and fall short of God’s glory

Horatio Cornblower

“We welcome those of you who were watching the Eagle and Panthers” could just as easily be “give us your tired, your poor, you wretched viewers yearning to be free”

Spur

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Gumbygirl

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

WCS

Okay, SHANK’LOR, you’ve made your point….

Redshirt

Oh, come on! This game can’t be happening!

Horatio Cornblower

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Oh, it’s happening.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That counts as a point for DOINK, right?

Brick Meathook

Packers/Bengals is just amazing

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

IT HIT THE FLAG! IT HIT THE FLAG!

Horatio Cornblower

Back…and to the left. Back…and to the left.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lulz

Horatio Cornblower

FULL PLAID!!!!! FULL PLAID!!!!

Doktor Zymm

2 teams 2 cities where no one wants to live, 2 missed regulation winning field goals, 2 LEGIT
22-22

Doktor Zymm

Oh WAIT, 2 OT MISSED FGS

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen Mixon hit someone that hard since…

You know what? Never mind.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

GAME BREAK!!!!

Here’s a quarterback warming up.

Horatio Cornblower

Upon further review, that is a catch.

Touchdown Seahawks!

Dunstan

A plethora of missed FGs to set up a tie that’s a scorigami would be just a delightful treat.

Horatio Cornblower

Shankl’or looking to unseat Bleergh as chief among gods this week.

Cecil Rhodes

Time to give Crosby the Old Yeller treatment!

Doktor Zymm

I love football and ALL HAIL SHANKLOR AND HIS MINION DOINK

Spur

Rodgers is gonna kill that kicker

Brick Meathook

Packers/Bengals is field goal heaven

Redshirt

Is this real life?!

Gumbygirl

Oh ma gawd!

Dunstan

BANANACAKES ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

Horatio Cornblower

Holy shit.

Spur

HAHAHAHAHA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TEDDY FAHKING BALLGAME!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can we get a few more doinks for a tie?

Horatio Cornblower

Packers are getting ready to turn a 1st and 10 from the Bengals 20 into a 50+ yard FG attempt for poor Crosby

Cecil Rhodes

Let’s replace Burrow with Nathan Peterman and see if anyone notices!

Horatio Cornblower

Let’s replace Mason Crosby with me and see if anyone notices.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s funny just a few comments below there was a discussion about what would be the MOST BUNGLES way to lose this game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What the shit, burrow

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good tackle, though

Horatio Cornblower

Burrows’s Bad Bungle Batters Bengals

The Maestro

THANK U BASED NICK FOLK

Horatio Cornblower

No time-outs, 80 yards to go, 15 seconds on the clock, and Davis Mills under center.

Texans have ’em right where they want them.

Col. Duke LaCross

We are just living in Shank’lor’s world.

Redshirt

Bananacakes! Get your FREE bananacakes!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[glances up at the heavens]

Looks like Shan’khor and DOINK are duking it out tonight.

Horatio Cornblower

-sigh-

I’ll get the umbrellas.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s raining bananacakes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

DOINK-KAKKE

Brick Meathook

Packers/Bengals is officially bananacakes

Spur

Double Doink Discount

Col. Duke LaCross

Goddamn Cincinnati.

WCS

— Redshirt

Horatio Cornblower

Fucking Bungles

Gumbygirl

Bananacakes!

Spur

Doink IT!
stupid Bengals

Horatio Cornblower

SHANKL’OR REIGNS SUPREME IN CINCINNATI!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

TWICE!!! THRICE EVEN!!!

Dunstan

You’re once, twice,
Three times a Shankl’or
And I Bleergh you

Gumbygirl

Sing it, Lionel!