To The Games!
Packers/Bengalis:
God, I love the upset potential here. Mixon didn’t practice all week but is expected to play. This looks like a great spot for Burrow in that Jaire Alexander is out and he gets Tee Higgins back. Now if the Cincy D could play well…
Lions/Vikes:
Though he’s playing, expect Cook to be spelled frequently by Mattison. Kirkie, though he gets picked on here, has been picked but once this year.
Broncos/Steelers:
Surtain looks as though he’ll play and should be (mostly) lined up on Diontae. Patrick allowed 7 completions on 9 passes last week. Luckily the Pitt passing game is going south rather quickly. PFF’s five worst-rated qb’s include one backup, three rookies and Ben.
Fins/Bucs:
This one will be painful. Miami will fall behind, won’t be able to run, and will have to ask Brissett to get them out of the mess behind a line that gives up pressure all the time.
Saints/TEAM:
The N.O. D just gifted Sir Dimes A-Lot his first 400 yard game. TEAM is 29th in yards allowed and 30th in points allowed. Heinicke’s 70% completion rate and 8.1YPA masks the fact that he had 3(!) INTs dropped by defenders last week.
Eagles/Panthers:
Moore and Darnold need each other. When they ‘hook up’ the latter has a 115 passer rating. Last week Dallas took control of the game away from Carolina by running the ball at a 6.7ypc clip. Expect Philly to try the same thing, starting with Hurts.
Titans/Jags:
Being a rook qb is tough enough but Lawrence is stuck on a dysfunctional team and his coach isn’t helping. Does he even talk to Meyer? Who knows.
Pats/Texans:
Mills has a 53.7 passer rating from a ‘clean’ pocket. It’s the worst in the league by more than 10 points. Expect Old Bill to massage all of Mills’ numbers in a way that would make owner Kraft proud (and horny).
Let’s keep it going out there. Don’t let up!
DOINK!
Just checked my FF team, thinking I was out of it, and it turns out I’m in an absolute war with Balls in the GSR league. Good luck Balls, I hope all your players die.
57 yarder for the win, or are we on our way to a possible most glorious draw?
Would a pick 6 or blocked FG returned for a TD be the more Bungles way to finish this game?
Yes.
Kick-6 is the correct answer.
Yes
Back-to-back 22-22 Draws would be so lovely.
HAIL SHANK’LOR
I don’t know about the Bengals, but I remember once the Bangles called and asked me to get them all pregnant. I wish I could have, but I was busy getting Bananarama pregnant. I was a busy guy back then.
For Bananarama, it was truly a Cruel Summer
HA!
Cincy-GB has gone full plaid. I repeat, we have a full plaid situation in Cincinnati!
Real smart, tie the game and give the ball to Rodbers with 2.5 minutes left. He can score 3 touchdowns and film a state farm commercial.
Packers are already on Cincy’s 18.
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
— Detroit
22-22 would be a scorigami.
Pack/Cincy is really good.
I would agree: packing to leave Cincinnati is very good.
The announcers: “Laremy Tunsil is not in the game, and you have to wonder why”
Laremy:
WOOOOOOOO MIXON
WOOOOOOOO HIGGINS
And possible tie scenario
I enjoy USAA doing ads during football games just to point out that you can’t have their insurance unless you were in the military.
Or unless you’re me, and very comfortable stealing your Dad’s valor from that all expenses paid tour of Vietnam he got back in the ’60’s.
PTSD? Suicides? Nah we can’t help you there, but do you want to save a couple hundred bucks on car insurance over the course of your life?
I need to check them out. Geico is very complacent with my bizness. It doesn’t pay to be loyal.
I’ve had it since I started driving and I’ve never been disappointed. Except when I call them and they thank me for me service and I feel compelled to say “no, that was my Dad” and then hang up as fast as I can.
Gumby was in the military for over twenty years, ending in 1999. Neither of us had ever heard of USAA until a few years ago. Way to reach out to the community!
#MeToo
Yup. Thank you grandpa!
Is it really that good of an insurance deal?
In my experience, yes. I’ve got friends who sell insurance, (who doesn’t?), and they don’t even try to beat USAA’s rates. And I’ve never had a problem with their service or having various claims paid.
I should probably be charging them for these comments. Gotta figure they’re at least as effective as those Gronk ads.
The Patriots are about to be down by 10 to a team that can’t a 4th down play off without burning a time-out.
OK, down by 7, but the point holds.
The kicker has missed 2 PAT’s and they asked him to hit a 56’er. Jeeezuz.
That would make a Pats loss even sweeter.
Two questions
1) Anyone else watching ‘Squid Game’?
2) What is in the water in Korea?
Plan on starting soon, and my hypothesis is that kimchi creates an lsd like substance during fermentation, or the mercury levels in sea food are really getting out of hand.
Your second theory makes a lot of sense.
The show is off the rails, bat-shit insane.
I’m quite enjoying it.
There was actually a Manga years ago that was the same premise except with high school students at a school. Was extremely bloody.
This one doesn’t shirk on the gore, that’s for sure.
And the live action movie made from it is called “As the God’s Will” which I am oing to have to ind and watch.
I’m beginning to think that neither the Donks nor Yinzers are very good at this footed ball gamesport.
The Texans just ran the Wildcat with Mark Ingram twice in one drive.
In 2021.
Jesus, Troy Aikman is not a small, (or particularly articulate), man.
https://twitter.com/dallascowboys/status/1447279861677047809/photo/1
Chris Moore (wr, off the Texans practice squad) has 109 yards so far. This is getting better and better…
So much Schlereth/Nantz/Romo verbal diarrhea this window.
We’re at “Ex-Patriot defender prevents potential touchdown score by New England” levels of schadenfreude in the Texans tilt right now.
Khorne as a young blood god,
guh, if this wasn’t MANDATORY think I’d take a break from this scheisse porn.
Hoist by his own petard.
We don’t use the petard word around here anymore.
hey ah noe I ain’t that smart but you ain’t supposed to use that word no MOAR smh
Houston media are on Twitter acting like the Texans should be dominating this game “if they were a little sharper.”
Uhhh, they’re terrible. There is no “a little sharper” for this team. We’re seeing them fresh off the whetstone.
There’s shooting yourself in the dick, and there’s whatever is the next level (which is what my Donks are doing today)
Well there is a difference between using a 22 handgun and a 12 gauge loaded with flecettes.
Oh Higgins is in the game? I didn’t think my fantasy team or Burrow knew that.
See also: Boyd, Tyler
So there’s a CSI: Vegas now? Wasn’t the original CSI in Vegas?
It does have the most semen per square foot
TV show ideas are a flat circle.
Like the earth!- K. Irving
“CSI: VEGAS. Now with even more Vegas!”
So far the closed captioning has spelled lions as, lyons, liens, and lyouns. They really can’t win.
“Ride these loins into the endzone.”
I’d prefer a lion on my property more than a lien.
At least you can hide inside the house from a lion.
Way to tease us, BLEERGH.
THIS JA’MARR CHASE I CALL HIM AN ALTAR BOY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW HE GOT TOUCHED
JMART is where Mike Brown buys all the team’s equipment, including the cheerleaders.
Just in….Dingleberry still deserves his moniker.
That Hayden Hurst depression PSA was surprisingly well done
Of the Pats 12 points, half are due to 55 yard field goals.
So far there best offensive play I’ve seen was a 12 yard punt return.
Belichick is clearly just tanking this year for generational quarteredback talent
/check notes
Trevor Lawrence. Unlike those suckers making notes right now, I did mine over a year ago.
THAT HOUSTON PUNT I CALL IT 1963, BECAUSE THAT’S THE LAST TIME I SAW SOMEONE TAKE A SHOT TO THE HEAD LIKE THAT IN TEXAS!!!
The Packers look way better than the Bengals, so I don’t foresee this game staying close…
I was shocked to see that the Bengals are 3-1.
Mike Brown won’t put up with that; performance bonuses kick in at 7 wins.
Look out, humanity. El Tractorcito’s possum tail is gaining sentience.
Looks more like an alligator tail to me.
Mark Schlerith (sp?): CTE is funny!
Trent Green: I ordered a cheeseburger!
You spelled Schlereth wrong, it’s M-O-R-O-N
It’s Kurns, stoopid!
“I was saying Koo-urns”
We ARE talking about a guy who would intentionally piss his pants to gain an edge over rushing defenders.
Well, at least he’ll be used to the smell when his own CTE kicks in.
This is exactly how the Pats lose. They take Cooks out of the game and someone, or two, steps up in his place.
For all the smoke the announcers are blowing up Mac Jones’s ass, the Patriots offense is incredibly limited with him at the helm.
But but but….The Legend of White Mac! He is clearly being let down by his THUG teammates
I see that Joe Burrow is making a play for the coveted Bad Idea Jeans endorsement deal.
What did I say about Houston and the deep ball? I’M SMRT TODAY!
Dunno what’s more strangely impressive – the 500s running train on Belicheat, or that we found an ACTUAL SUPPORTER to write for DFO.
Uhhh the imaginary team just scored on a flea flicker.
God, I fucking hate this shit. What an embarrassment. IT’S ALL STEPHON GILMORE’S FAULT
They just tried a fake-fake punt that got partially blocked and gave the P*ts 1st down on the 36.
Nature is healing.
Goddamn, Jameis. Keep throwing like that, and you’ll get free crab legs for life.
THE BEN HAZ FREE CRABZ 4 LYFE TOO
The music from that cruise ad seems more suited to an epic sci-fi/apocalypse series.
Can someone tell Terry Bradshaw he’s old yeller so he’ll take himself out back?
Scotchy you have all the Chargers in the Freezer Vodka lge.
SUPERSTACK OR NOTHING, BABY!
/figured I could get both Herbert and Williams in late rounds after I picked up Allen.
Wait a minute.
What if my post delusionally predicting a Texans championship actually turns their season around, they go 14-3 and win it all?
OMG, you guys. I might have predictive powers.
None of that is going to happen, you fucking weirdo.
How about winning Power Ball numbers. Something with better odds
If he could apply his skillz there, he’d be AnthonyInTahiti
He’s more likely to find a real football team to root for in Tahiti than he is in Houston. The “Texans” Pfft!
Excellent point.
https://youtu.be/gape_omI2NQ
Great News Joe Burrow can see in color again.
Bad news is he’s still playing for Cincinnati