To The Games!
Packers/Bengalis:
God, I love the upset potential here. Mixon didn’t practice all week but is expected to play. This looks like a great spot for Burrow in that Jaire Alexander is out and he gets Tee Higgins back. Now if the Cincy D could play well…
Lions/Vikes:
Though he’s playing, expect Cook to be spelled frequently by Mattison. Kirkie, though he gets picked on here, has been picked but once this year.
Broncos/Steelers:
Surtain looks as though he’ll play and should be (mostly) lined up on Diontae. Patrick allowed 7 completions on 9 passes last week. Luckily the Pitt passing game is going south rather quickly. PFF’s five worst-rated qb’s include one backup, three rookies and Ben.
Fins/Bucs:
This one will be painful. Miami will fall behind, won’t be able to run, and will have to ask Brissett to get them out of the mess behind a line that gives up pressure all the time.
Saints/TEAM:
The N.O. D just gifted Sir Dimes A-Lot his first 400 yard game. TEAM is 29th in yards allowed and 30th in points allowed. Heinicke’s 70% completion rate and 8.1YPA masks the fact that he had 3(!) INTs dropped by defenders last week.
Eagles/Panthers:
Moore and Darnold need each other. When they ‘hook up’ the latter has a 115 passer rating. Last week Dallas took control of the game away from Carolina by running the ball at a 6.7ypc clip. Expect Philly to try the same thing, starting with Hurts.
Titans/Jags:
Being a rook qb is tough enough but Lawrence is stuck on a dysfunctional team and his coach isn’t helping. Does he even talk to Meyer? Who knows.
Pats/Texans:
Mills has a 53.7 passer rating from a ‘clean’ pocket. It’s the worst in the league by more than 10 points. Expect Old Bill to massage all of Mills’ numbers in a way that would make owner Kraft proud (and horny).
Let’s keep it going out there. Don’t let up!
That’ll do, Chase. That’ll do.
Jacobi Meyers is gonna be left in Houston.
EDIT: The Forum Gremlins are asleep again.
Penthouse forum?
Who fed it after midnight?
HAIL BLEERGH
x2
I do want Hippo to know that I did meet the MANDATORY watching requirements by occasionally looking at the Jets-Falcons tilt o’er the pond this morning, but I will not pretend I enjoyed it.
Trainer: “What is your name?”
Burrow: “Joe.”
Trainer: “Where are you?”
Burrow: “Cincinnati.”
Trainer: “How is your offensive line?”
Burrow: “They’re doing okay.”
Trainer: “Yeah, let’s check you for a concussion.”
He needs nano-bubbles, stat
Burrows dead
On the negative side, the Patriots seem likely to escort, (no, not that way Mr. Kraft. Put your pants back on for Christ’s sake!), me out of the DFO Suicide Pool.
On the positive side, the Patriots are being badly outplayed by the Houston Texans and Davis Fucking Mills, and I have been waiting 20 years for this to happen. Oh the morning radio would be glorious. GLORIOUS!!!
*sobbing quietly* FACK YOU
Don’t lie, you know EEI would be off the hook tomorrow. The Red Sox could thump Tampa 14-2 and they’d give it 5 minutes.
Dips
Spits
Burrow needs to learn to not get destroyed. Geez.
Ruh roh, somebody check on Redshirt
Burrow is dead.
False alarm. Just mostly dead.
Well yeah, he moved to Cincinnati.
Seems that the Cinci O line is now made of paper mache.
Wet paper mache. The dry stuff would offer more resistance than the current oLine
Now?
/Redshirt involuntarily twitches
At least I took Minny to win, Miami to lose in SurvivoUr pools
Wow! Houston is absolutely convinced that the Pats can be had via the long ball.
That’s weird, because their owner usually gets caught by the short hairs.
Ugh. Kraft pubes. (shudder)
Ohhh Taysom has owie. His pajamas did nae help him there
FUCKING VIDEO REVIEW
Lookit you VAR! Making Hippo happy like that.
That was the loudest DOINK I’ve ever heard.
I’ve got to be more careful when I slam my dick on the table.
I’m not sure ice will help with that swelling.
Start the Dallas game already so i can start drinking.
Lookit you, LOLfins! Acting like a real boy.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YUFosonMpto
Dedicating that one to Rick DeSantis.
A shout of rejoicing comes from the Magick Burger King
I’d wager you’ve never seen 3 consective missed XPs in same game, at least in a dome.
Lookit you, 500s! Acting like a real boy.
Really thought the NE D was the play today.
As did I.
As did I.
Do NAWT like this
Resident Texans fan doesn’t expect this trend to continue
If the Bengals don’t get a running game, Joe Burrow will be dead by the 4th Qtr.
If the Bengals keep going empty set, he’ll be dead by the 2nd.
Saw that RZ play, and was sure he was gon’ die
Tiki Barber on the call for the Jags game, I wonder if that was on purpose.
Urban “Gruden Grinder” Meyer
That’s NC STATE ALUMNUS Jakobi Meyers.
“Can no feel arm” – Ben
How The Ben supposed to make sexy in the terlet with only one arm
The Ben looking a little slow, eh?
Every time they go to LOLfins/MRSA, I have to mute Romo and Nantz.
I guess now that they’ve dealt with HURTING FEELINGS, the Shield has moved to “pick play” as a point of emphasis.
OPI against Philly. Would have been a TD.
Love it
Correction – I am very grateful Donks/Yinzers ain’t on teevee down here.
There’s Gio vulturing Horny Fourny (who I did bench for Coop), as I feared
Aaron Rodgers was speaking to that official using language he normally reserves for family gatherings.
or for his backup
Alternately: Aaron Rodgers has been in the league so long he treats these officials like they’re family.
Has the silent treatment ever worked on a ref?
Did a town in Wisconsin just catch a TD for NE?
Urban Meyer’s filthy DISTRACTION has directly led to the Jags missing a PAT and losing a fumble which was returned for a toucheddown. He must be stopped!
Urban “Strange Tang” Meyer
“Oh I haven’t tried that flavor is it good?” – Eli Manning
Why can’t be a fine example of a Head Coach like Jon Gruden?
Urban always encouraging his team to grind.
Bengals Long Snapper may be hurt. Prepare for hilarity to ensue.
Irreplaceable skills that aren’t worth backing up for the win!
3rd and 1 and the Bengals RB is…JaMarr Chase?
That’s not good for those of us that did not heed your advice re caution.
Anyone from the DFO SoCal crew watching the game at an outdoor bar near West Hollywood or BH? I have a wedding to go to tonight but am moderately bored until then.
BH stands for Boreanaz House
Bunker Hill?
I hate being reminded that the Simpsons is still on. It’s like finding out that your “cool” uncle from when you were younger who turned out to be a pedarast not only survived prison, but has been paroled.
and has one of them bald up top with pony tail in the back.
I’m too old to be this hungover.
I’m too hungover to be this old.
Nobody like a quitter.
Have an akavit. As awful as it was it chased my hangover.
ah, back to Donks normalcy
Just had the traditional Akavit at the brunch table with the inlaws. Almost came back up with the bacon and waffles.
Tradition!
The Jags are already Jagging, I see.
Jigging and jagging like pros!
Urban “Hardknockers” Meyer
Kellen Winslow would like to subscribe to that newsletter
GET THE RAG
Is Cincy capable of MDK on Rodgers?
Morning Folks
Made an early Sunday morning WholeFoods run. I almost had to kill a man (or a lesbian dressed like a man, wasn’t sure).
Did you call them they just to be sure and correct?
I will not be denied the box of kumquats I set aside.
By virtue of being in Houston, I get the pleasure of watching Bill Belichick work out his 1-3 frustrations on my team. I don’t expect it to be pretty.
It may not be red zone time quite yet, but it is red wine time! Picked up a botabox while out glaring at the runners pointlessly commemorating a Greek victory against the Persian
Now it is both!
Cincinnati and Green Bay. I don’t care.
Was quite disappoint that North Cakalaky don’t get Donks/Yinzers. Usually PIT gets lots of broadcast love.
I think the cat is out of the bag on the Steelers. They suck and it’s not going to get better any time soon.
Kicking off the and FUCK Tom Brady! window of fixtures:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUNgHDC7r44