Your NFL Football Open Thread Numero Dos

To The Games!

Packers/Bengalis:

God, I love the upset potential here. Mixon didn’t practice all week but is expected to play. This looks like a great spot for Burrow in that Jaire Alexander is out and he gets Tee Higgins back. Now if the Cincy D could play well…

Lions/Vikes:

Though he’s playing, expect Cook to be spelled frequently by Mattison. Kirkie, though he gets picked on here, has been picked but once this year.

Broncos/Steelers:

Surtain looks as though he’ll play and should be (mostly) lined up on Diontae. Patrick allowed 7 completions on 9 passes last week. Luckily the Pitt passing game is going south rather quickly. PFF’s five worst-rated qb’s include one backup, three rookies and Ben.

Fins/Bucs:

This one will be painful. Miami will fall behind, won’t be able to run, and will have to ask Brissett to get them out of the mess behind a line that gives up pressure all the time.

Saints/TEAM:

The N.O. D just gifted Sir Dimes A-Lot his first 400 yard game. TEAM is 29th in yards allowed and 30th in points allowed. Heinicke’s 70% completion rate and 8.1YPA masks the fact that he had 3(!) INTs dropped by defenders last week.

Eagles/Panthers:

Moore and Darnold need each other. When they ‘hook up’ the latter has a 115 passer rating. Last week Dallas took control of the game away from Carolina by running the ball at a 6.7ypc clip. Expect Philly to try the same thing, starting with Hurts.

Titans/Jags:

Being a rook qb is tough enough but Lawrence is stuck on a dysfunctional team and his coach isn’t helping. Does he even talk to Meyer? Who knows.

Pats/Texans:

Mills has a 53.7 passer rating from a ‘clean’ pocket. It’s the worst in the league by more than 10 points. Expect Old Bill to massage all of Mills’ numbers in a way that would make owner Kraft proud (and horny).

Let’s keep it going out there. Don’t let up!

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Redshirt

That’ll do, Chase. That’ll do.

Horatio Cornblower

Jacobi Meyers is gonna be left in Houston.

Redshirt

EDIT: The Forum Gremlins are asleep again.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
litre_cola

Penthouse forum?

WCS

Who fed it after midnight?

WCS

HAIL BLEERGH

WCS

x2

Horatio Cornblower

I do want Hippo to know that I did meet the MANDATORY watching requirements by occasionally looking at the Jets-Falcons tilt o’er the pond this morning, but I will not pretend I enjoyed it.

Redshirt

Trainer: “What is your name?”
Burrow: “Joe.”
Trainer: “Where are you?”
Burrow: “Cincinnati.”
Trainer: “How is your offensive line?”
Burrow: “They’re doing okay.”
Trainer: “Yeah, let’s check you for a concussion.”

Game Time Decision

He needs nano-bubbles, stat

Game Time Decision

Burrows dead

Horatio Cornblower

On the negative side, the Patriots seem likely to escort, (no, not that way Mr. Kraft. Put your pants back on for Christ’s sake!), me out of the DFO Suicide Pool.

On the positive side, the Patriots are being badly outplayed by the Houston Texans and Davis Fucking Mills, and I have been waiting 20 years for this to happen. Oh the morning radio would be glorious. GLORIOUS!!!

The Maestro

*sobbing quietly* FACK YOU

Horatio Cornblower

Don’t lie, you know EEI would be off the hook tomorrow. The Red Sox could thump Tampa 14-2 and they’d give it 5 minutes.

Game Time Decision

Dips

Spits

TheRevanchist

Burrow needs to learn to not get destroyed. Geez.

King Hippo

Ruh roh, somebody check on Redshirt

Redshirt

Burrow is dead.

Redshirt

False alarm. Just mostly dead.

hippofant

Well yeah, he moved to Cincinnati.

litre_cola

Seems that the Cinci O line is now made of paper mache.

Game Time Decision

Wet paper mache. The dry stuff would offer more resistance than the current oLine

Horatio Cornblower

Now?

WCS

/Redshirt involuntarily twitches

King Hippo

At least I took Minny to win, Miami to lose in SurvivoUr pools

Horatio Cornblower

That’s weird, because their owner usually gets caught by the short hairs.

Anthony In TX

Ugh. Kraft pubes. (shudder)

litre_cola

Ohhh Taysom has owie. His pajamas did nae help him there

The Maestro

FUCKING VIDEO REVIEW

King Hippo

Lookit you VAR! Making Hippo happy like that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was the loudest DOINK I’ve ever heard.

TheRevanchist

I’m not sure ice will help with that swelling.

Spur

Start the Dallas game already so i can start drinking.

King Hippo

Lookit you, LOLfins! Acting like a real boy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dedicating that one to Rick DeSantis.

King Hippo

A shout of rejoicing comes from the Magick Burger King

King Hippo

I’d wager you’ve never seen 3 consective missed XPs in same game, at least in a dome.

King Hippo

Lookit you, 500s! Acting like a real boy.

litre_cola

Really thought the NE D was the play today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As did I.

Horatio Cornblower

As did I.

The Maestro

Do NAWT like this

Anthony In TX

Resident Texans fan doesn’t expect this trend to continue

Redshirt

If the Bengals don’t get a running game, Joe Burrow will be dead by the 4th Qtr.

If the Bengals keep going empty set, he’ll be dead by the 2nd.

King Hippo

Saw that RZ play, and was sure he was gon’ die

herodotus450

Tiki Barber on the call for the Jags game, I wonder if that was on purpose.

Spur

Urban “Gruden Grinder” Meyer

King Hippo

That’s NC STATE ALUMNUS Jakobi Meyers.

Spur

“Can no feel arm” – Ben

King Hippo

How The Ben supposed to make sexy in the terlet with only one arm

King Hippo

The Ben looking a little slow, eh?

King Hippo

Every time they go to LOLfins/MRSA, I have to mute Romo and Nantz.

King Hippo

I guess now that they’ve dealt with HURTING FEELINGS, the Shield has moved to “pick play” as a point of emphasis.

Spur

OPI against Philly. Would have been a TD.
Love it

King Hippo

Correction – I am very grateful Donks/Yinzers ain’t on teevee down here.

King Hippo

There’s Gio vulturing Horny Fourny (who I did bench for Coop), as I feared

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aaron Rodgers was speaking to that official using language he normally reserves for family gatherings.

Spur

or for his backup

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Alternately: Aaron Rodgers has been in the league so long he treats these officials like they’re family.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Has the silent treatment ever worked on a ref?

Doktor Zymm

Did a town in Wisconsin just catch a TD for NE?

herodotus450

Urban Meyer’s filthy DISTRACTION has directly led to the Jags missing a PAT and losing a fumble which was returned for a toucheddown. He must be stopped!

Spur

Urban “Strange Tang” Meyer

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh I haven’t tried that flavor is it good?” – Eli Manning

Redshirt

Why can’t be a fine example of a Head Coach like Jon Gruden?

Gatoraids

Urban always encouraging his team to grind.

Redshirt

Bengals Long Snapper may be hurt. Prepare for hilarity to ensue.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Doktor Zymm

Irreplaceable skills that aren’t worth backing up for the win!

Redshirt

3rd and 1 and the Bengals RB is…JaMarr Chase?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s not good for those of us that did not heed your advice re caution.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone from the DFO SoCal crew watching the game at an outdoor bar near West Hollywood or BH? I have a wedding to go to tonight but am moderately bored until then.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

BH stands for Boreanaz House

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bunker Hill?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hate being reminded that the Simpsons is still on. It’s like finding out that your “cool” uncle from when you were younger who turned out to be a pedarast not only survived prison, but has been paroled.

litre_cola

and has one of them bald up top with pony tail in the back.

Mother Puncher

I’m too old to be this hungover.

The Maestro

I’m too hungover to be this old.

Redshirt

Nobody like a quitter.

litre_cola

Have an akavit. As awful as it was it chased my hangover.

King Hippo

ah, back to Donks normalcy

litre_cola

Just had the traditional Akavit at the brunch table with the inlaws. Almost came back up with the bacon and waffles.

Doktor Zymm

Tradition!

The Maestro

The Jags are already Jagging, I see.

Doktor Zymm

Jigging and jagging like pros!

Spur

Urban “Hardknockers” Meyer

King Hippo

Kellen Winslow would like to subscribe to that newsletter

BrettFavresColonoscopy

GET THE RAG

Spur

Is Cincy capable of MDK on Rodgers?

Spur

Morning Folks
Made an early Sunday morning WholeFoods run. I almost had to kill a man (or a lesbian dressed like a man, wasn’t sure).

litre_cola

Did you call them they just to be sure and correct?

Spur

I will not be denied the box of kumquats I set aside.

Anthony In TX

By virtue of being in Houston, I get the pleasure of watching Bill Belichick work out his 1-3 frustrations on my team. I don’t expect it to be pretty.

Doktor Zymm

It may not be red zone time quite yet, but it is red wine time! Picked up a botabox while out glaring at the runners pointlessly commemorating a Greek victory against the Persian

Doktor Zymm

Now it is both!

Gumbygirl

Cincinnati and Green Bay. I don’t care.

King Hippo

Was quite disappoint that North Cakalaky don’t get Donks/Yinzers. Usually PIT gets lots of broadcast love.

Gumbygirl

I think the cat is out of the bag on the Steelers. They suck and it’s not going to get better any time soon.

King Hippo

Kicking off the and FUCK Tom Brady! window of fixtures:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUNgHDC7r44

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