Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

I don’t got anything for all yallz today.  Just quiet here and nothing on my mind.  It’s kinda nice.  Life it starting to return to what normal was pre-coivd and being a bit more social.  So, I’m gonna enjoy this feeling whilst it lasts.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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“YOU MORTAL FOOLS THINK MY ENERGIES WERE SPENT ON SUNDAY? HAHAHAHAHA!” – Shan’Khor
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Gruden: “I quit.”
Meyer: “We can do that?!”
Redshirt

Meyer needs to hang on to his job. It’s the only thing keeping him from getting served with divorce papers and losing half of everything he’s earned by exploiting young men in a way even the Catholic Church thinks is “a little much.”
Horatio Cornblower

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I’m about to check in and see how the Raiders subreddit is handling this. If I don’t make it out in 20 minutes please send in the S.W.A.T. team.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Rays are falling apart in the 9th.

Looking forward to their new uniforms next year.

Horatio Cornblower

The Expos should be brought fully back with exactly zero changes to their uniforms. Those hats are perfect.
Anthony In TX

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Months after inheriting the mantle of Superman, Jon Kent is taking another great leap. He’s coming out as bisexual. 
https://t.co/ynmGVgnfB0; pic.twitter.com/15Yi7v7yNa

— IGN (@IGN) October 11, 2021
Spur

THIS GUY JON KENT I CALL HIM…ON HIS MOBILE AND WISH HIM WELL AND LOOK I’VE CHANGED CAN I COACH AGAIN
SonOfSpam

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I really hope Gruden goes scorched earth and releases all his emails showing Snyder was cool with this.
Spur

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October 11, 2021 9:08 pm
Who is publishing Gruden’s e-mails, and how did they get them? Not starting shit, just old, dopey, and don’t know how these things work. Was he hacked?
Fronkenshteen

His password turned out to be Spider 2 Y Banana
Doktor Zymm

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MORE LIKE GONE GRUDEN, AMIRITE FOLKS
The Maestro

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Pretty amazing that The Shield didn’t at least give NBC a veiled heads-up, before Tirico and Dungy wiped their asses with what remains of their dignity.
King Hippo

Doesn’t get much more insensitive then leaving Dungy hanging like that.
Horatio Cornblower

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Out of respect the NFL should go ahead and vacate Gruden’s super bowl win with Tampa Bay. But who can remember what year that was? Better just vacate all of Tampa’s super bowls to be safe.
herodotus450

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There's some high level chess/checkers going on with Gruden. The league doesn't want to suspend him. The league wants the Raiders to fire him. The league likely will keep leaking more emails until the Raiders fire him.

— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) October 12, 2021

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is like a game of chess/checkers with two Alzheimer’s patients shitting themselves
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I didn’t want to drop this on brother DJ TAJs post but a quick primer. The post from this morning was my brother making sure that my grandmother had a headstone on her grave.

My aunt left her own mother buried in the desert under that hard caliche for 20 years in an unmarked grave after spending the money for her own mother’s marker on her own demons.

We would have never known had we not stopped to pay respects a couple of years back.

The headstone in the upper left is my grandfather Pa’s final resting place.

While suffering crippling anxiety in the middle of a global pandemic my brother made sure to place her headstone next to her husband of over 50 years.

That was a beautiful piece and for the record TAJ is in a better mindset than he has been for years.

Don’t tell him that I said this.

That was fucking beautiful.
yeah right

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So my hbo max account has led me to discovering doom patrol, and a new favorite gif

Brocky

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Today’s (still technically new) Apartment Weaselo update: The vending machine in the garage is still a dollar for soda cans!

Senor Weaselo

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Once again hockey season is upon us and I try to find a team I like.

A few that will not make the cut:

Caps – as a Baltimoron I am pledged to hate anything to do with DC
Bruins – fuck Boston in the ear
Flyers – see above
New York – no way, no how
I don’t want to be a bandwagon fan and I like teams with grit, blue collar teams, they bring their lunchpails and clock in, they’re not gloree boys
jjfozz

Buddy, if you like a GRITTY team, have I got the hockey dudes for you:

Anthony In TX

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This line is genius:

Now I know how #478 felt at the Houston 500.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Well, my darling dears, I’m going to go read. Go Dodgers, I guess?

Gumbygirl

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Like R. Kelly at a slumber party, the Kings are up after the first period.
SonOfSpam

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Can Hurts….SEE the men in the white shirts?
Fronkenshteen

If we’ve learned anything from the last week, nobody in the NFL sees color.
Mr. Ayo

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Ad exec #1: “OK, we already have Nick Saban and Deion Sanders, and we’re pimping an insurance company that fired Gilbert Gotfried. How can we make ourselves more repugnant?”

Ad exec #2: “Paula Deen and the Unabomber?”

Ad exec #1: [draws twin finger guns]

“AFLAC!!!!”
Fronkenshteen

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Gumbygirl

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“You have to hire a professional for metal replating. That’s because replating involves hazardous electrical processes and dangerous chemicals unsuitable for a DIY project.”

This makes me want to try it at home
Doktor Zymm

Just watch some YT vids and keep the windows open. You’ll be fine.
Mr. Ayo

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I have consulted my legal team (the cat) and “womandatory” is not a word, ipso facto, I am not required by any statutes, treaties, or other binding agreements to get up at 6:30 to watch the Lolphins in London. IPSO FACTO motherfuckers. Boom!
Gumbygirl

Can you ask your cat how many bathrobes is too many bathrobes?
Doktor Zymm

Beyond (i) everyday; (ii) winter; (iii) formal; (iv) lucky; and (v) backup – you’r just being ostentatious smgdh
King Hippo

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Cryptocurrency. JFC.

https://twitter.com/Theophite/status/1030225104234373121

BugEyedBoo

“Crypto is not tied to any currency or bank, so you own it!”

“Cool! How do I get it?”

“There are two ways: have a bigger computer than you could ever afford or pay real money for it.”

“Wait… but you said it’s not tied to any currency. How do you assess value? Why would I pay real money for it?”

“Crypto is not tied to any currency or bank, so you own it!”

“…okay, but how do you assess value?”

“You’ll be a millionaire overnight!”

“Okay, but…”

“Millionaire!”

“Got it.”
Anthony In TX

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Can’t believe I find myself longing for the excitement of a Manning cast.

Gatoraids

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JimU
October 15, 2021 11:23 am
It’s brown liquor season again!

/it’s always brown liquor season

Never during Christmas time. If you do, it has to be mixed in a whiteish eggnog.

I don’t make the rules, I just drink ’em.
TheRevanchist

Doktor Zymm

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Good night, ladies and germs!

Gumbygirl

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My BIL sent this to me. I love that he shit talks. Life is much better with shit talking.

TheRevanchist

Here’s some shit talk

Gumbygirl

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Last funny;

here’s the trick to shower oatmeal, and it’s not complex. U get out the oats and throw some in your hand like ur a fuckin horse. Now enter the shower. steam and waters will do the rest
rockingdog

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This flu shot is kicking my ass, wow.
Gumbygirl

This is why I don’t get vaccine for any reason whatever.

Now, if someone could turn my iron lung so’s I can see the TV, that’d be great.
Horatio Cornblower

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How the casual mlb fan feels about the playoffs

Brocky

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So Civ 6 isn’t particularly stable on newer machines with newer graphics cards, especially if you made the mistake of updating the drivers. It just crashed and I thought the crash report was being kinda facetious by saying “Your program is crashing. Exciting”
But no, it said “Exiting”
Doktor Zymm

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Man, these dickwad announcers are pulling for Clemson SO HARD
King Hippo

As opposed to Marc Trestman, who is pulling SO HARD for Clem’s son.

/sorry, it’s Friday and I’m thinking I’ll work a little blue tonight
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Gumbygirl

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/surveying my teenager’s absolutely filthy bedroom this morning

Me: “Son, you don’t have to live like this.”
scotchnaut

WCS

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Time to do some chores, then I can watch some JV action.
ArmedandHammered

Poor planning. You had two non-football days of the week to do your chores!
Redshirt

Yeah, but taking care of the boy, housework, cooking, shopping and helping the wife out has severely limited my time to do chores that benefit me. But I got them done (decided they can be done tomorrow) and penciled through them on my list.

But you are right, sorry about the venting.
ArmedandHammered

No problem. That’s what I’m here for. Well that and be able to claim that DFO is bipartisan.
Redshirt

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I would be remiss not to point out that UConn plays Yale today at noon. This is probably UConn’s best chance for a win this season.

When I was an undergrad we would rent buses and go down to the Yale bowl and tailgate for the game. We’d bring kegs and grills and never even go to the game.
It wasn’t until I was in law school that I realized where the actual stadium was.
Horatio Cornblower

“Oh Muffy, look over there, somewhere a circus must be missing their complement of sad clowns” – Jeffery B. Assholington III.
ArmedandHammered

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Go bees!

When I was searching for this picture, google helpfully asked if I wanted to shop for bees.
Doktor Zymm

So are you buying some bees?
litre_cola

Don’t get the shiny black ones, their stings really hurt and I have yet to find any honey in their hives. = P. Bear 100 Acre Woods
ArmedandHammered

Didn’t realize Pooh hung out with Gruden.
Horatio Cornblower

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I hate that “What’s a bearsquatch” kid so much. You want something to be afraid of, you ginger pussy? You’re going to go to school for 16 years only to find out that your degree qualifies you to be a cubicle drone with, at best, middle-manager potential for some service-industry job that will eventually be done by some dude in Nepal who barely speaks English but who is willing to do your job for $160 a month, because that’s the fat end of the hog in Kathmandu, motherfucker, and don’t you forget it. You? Oh, you’ll find something else, but you’ll be in your late 40’s by then, and whatever you do find will have as much career future in it as an assistant UConn football coach after Randy Edsall gets sent to a farm upstate to play with the other coaches. Meanwhile your shrew of a wife, the same woman who gave birth to and subsequently coddled a child to the point that he’s now pants-shittingly terrified of a clearly mythological creature that is half-bear, half-a-thing-that-has-never-existed, won’t stop spending money on absolutely useless garbage as though you were still employed at a job that paid a living wage, so you wind up taking a graveyard shift at the local Gas-N-Go, where you spend all 8 hours propping your eyeballs up with toothpicks and praying to God that no one you know comes in and recognizes you. That’s something to be afraid of. Now shut up and give Daddy some peace and quiet so that he can drive to his mother-in-law’s house and be passive-aggressively cut to the depths of what he laughingly calls the remainder of his soul about the standard of living he’s failed to provide for the shrieking harpy you call ‘Mom’.

/commercial cuts to the car hurtling through a fence and over a cliff. We pan to a close-up interior shot, Mom screaming at Dad, who has the apotheosis of a peaceful smile on his face.
Horatio Cornblower

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(Tennesee fans throwing water bottles on the field)
I haven’t seen Tennessee throw away this much money since they voted against Medicare expansion.
herodotus450

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And now another moment in the kitchen with the Weaselos:

Senor: Oh yeah, I got one of these (shows off meat thermometer).
Senorita: Oh nice. We don’t have one, my dad’s always eyeballed it.
Senor: Yes, but I don’t know what I’m doing.
Senor Weaselo

I honestly thought this was gonna go a different direction, and will answer no follow up questions.
SonOfSpam

/raises hand

SoS: “I said NO FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS!!!”

//slowly lowers hand
Horatio Cornblower

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Based on how good LV is doing today, I’m starting to suspect the Raiders released the Gruden Emails to get rid of him. Damn.
Redshirt

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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