Your Second Sunday NFL Football Open Tread

Away we go…

To The Games!

Panthers/Cards:

That sucking sound you hear? It’s the noise Darnold makes as his career circles the drain. Big arm, slow processor, just too many mistakes. Today we get to see someone else stink it up for Carolina again as P.J. Walker takes the field. I’m guessing we’ll also witness a few scripted run plays from a newly-vaccinated Cam? On t’udder side Kyler is trending towards not playing so you’ll be getting all the Colt McCoy you could possibly handle. This reeks of a sloppy game with turnovers aplenty.

Vikes/Chargers:

After a white-hot start Mike Williams has cooled off but this might be a spot for him-Minny has over the last four weeks been susceptible to the deep ball. If the Vikes had caught a few breaks they would be a playoff hunter-their five losses are by a combined 18 points. They just can’t finish the deal. Could this be Cook’s last game for awhile? Things tend to happen quite quickly these days as info comes out. Both these squadoos can be passed on and each have fine wr’s so things may align for a shootout.

Eagles/Broncos:

I’ve been waiting forever (it seems) for rb Williams to wrestle all the carries away from Gordon but The Fangio has other ideas. Damnit, what’s best for Denver isn’t best for a few of my fantasy teams! Still, I do have a top 24 back with plenty of upside… Anyway, Philly’s D gives up the 4th most points to rb’s in fantasy so both backs are startable.

Seahawks/Packers:

This seems like a sneaky good game to me even though Seattle hasn’t won here in more than 20 years. Both teams have their starting qb’s (one of them is a huge liar that can’t stand criticism of any kind and tends to whine on The Pat McAfee Show) returning and have something to prove. In limited opportunities rb Dillon has shown that he is a hard yet elusive runner that can also catch the ball. The Seahawks Lockett and Metcalf should have themselves a day vs Green Bay’s wonky cornerbacks. Should it come down to a kick, the usually capable Crosby has missed six of his last ten.

Go be you in the comments.

 

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

/Donovan McNabb cums confusedly

Redshirt

“Does anybody really want to win this game?”

The Play-by-Play Commentator dropping some truth bombs!

King Hippo

Like one even has to ASK!

Forever, I dub this The Old Yeller Game

Spur

Should have used those yellow hankies to dry the football

LemonJello

Ho Lee Fuk. Shitshow is a generous term for this game

Last edited 2 years ago by LemonJello
WCS

There’s your DRAW.

King Hippo

c’mon, admit it. YOU SMILED TOO.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What’s the opposite of a Hail Mary? That’s what this game should be called.

King Hippo

PERFECT HAPPY ENDING SPLOOSH!!!!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

LOL

Mr. Ayo

OMG. This is has by far bested the 6-6 tie.

litre_cola

This Loins Steelers game is the NFL version of bum fights.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Crosby’s best shot here is PI

King Hippo

TAKE A KNEE, Coach Epps!

LemonJello

Keep the slapdickery going PIT/DET. WE WANT THE TIE!

Dunstan

It’s positively adorable that the two options on the pop-up menu at NFL.com are “Subscribe” and “Later.” I think I’m going to try that when asking a woman out. “She said ‘later!'”

Doktor Zymm

I like “join mailing list” and “I hate saving money” as the options

SonOfSpam

and he makes a booboo

Redshirt

Detroit’s kicker took their coaches instruction to “sweep the leg” a bit too literally on that field goal attempt.

King Hippo

DRAW DRAW DRAW! WE DEMAND THE DRAW!!

Mr. Ayo

0-16-1

We can only dream.

King Hippo

0-15-2??

litre_cola

If A-A ron scores a td hisself he has to do a needle in the arm motion for sure.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Better if he just threw himself over a cliff

King Hippo

Heard in HippoLair as Hurts scrambles – somebody hit that little motherfucker!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rendering the beef tallow is now finished. I’m moving on to bacon.

King Hippo

How much do I want this Draw? I have the Yinzer’s placement man, but am rooting for him not to even get a chance.

Horatio Cornblower

Pittsburgh should have accepted the penalty and made it 3rd and 33, just to see what happens.

Mr. Ayo

We would have gotten an NFL Blitz post here certainly.

WCS

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King Hippo

I hope Q-aaron’s heart explodes and he dies on the pitch.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

He who hesitates is Goff’d.

Spur

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Last edited 2 years ago by Spur
Redshirt

In his defense, with some boob jobs I’ve seen, it might feel like a bag of sand.

EDIT: the gif was changed

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

I know that we make fun of the Browns, but the Lions have to be the worst organization in the NFL, right?

NotShogunButShogun

History would say yes.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t know, the Browns have a lot of talent on their team that they’re squandering. I really think they’re comprable and just at different spots in the suck-cycle

LemonJello

Take PIT/DET out back and put a bullet in its head. It would be a mercy at this point

Spur

Cam appears to be a tall as 2 Kyler Murrays

King Hippo

I will love Dan Campbell forever if he gets ONE first down, then takes knees to preserve the point.

King Hippo

This is The Perfect Draw. I think we’ve surpassed that SNF SEA/AZ 6-6 performance art.

NotShogunButShogun

Gummo too!

Horatio Cornblower

Steeler-Lions has gone full plaid.

Horatio Cornblower

What even was that kick?

Doktor Zymm

I disagree with Geico, we absolutely need more trick plays that result in fat guy TDs

Mr. Ayo

More like LOLions

Spur

Fucking Lions

King Hippo

To repeat – Baby Buster threw for a total of 54 yards in Normal Time.

His squadron line up for the winning FG.

They MISS.

Doktor Zymm

Clearly going for the Guinness book of records for worst trade

King Hippo

I’m assuming RRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! must have thrown in an extra 1st to get them to take Buster.

Horatio Cornblower

NFL is making up for the Steelers fucking over the Bears with bad goals by having the Lions fuck over the Steelers with bad goals.

If it were me I’d focus on getting better officiating, but I guess that’s too complicated.

Doktor Zymm

Touchdown seahawks!

King Hippo

No-Fuck-LioUns, in medium FG range…get called for holding on 3rd and 4

King Hippo

5 yards shorter, he makes that. WOMP WOMP

yeah right

Sound quality is atrocious but the seating area is fantastic.

King Hippo

PeyPey SINGS!

Pri-son-Girl-Friend-Dropped-The-Soap!

Brocky

So espn has me listed as 74% chance of making the playoffs.

All my good players are injured and all of my next 4 games are from people at 500 or above.

Got to tip my hat of to God this year, really outdid himself getting my hopes up.

I’m only writing this as a record.

King Hippo

I am seriously gonna quit/retire, Brocky.

Brocky

I don’t know how relevant this is, but it’s close to what I mean

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Brocky

Same old cam?

blatantly bullshit “conduct” flag?

Yeah same old cam

ThePirateSloth

When did we all agree to call him Jackrabbit Jenkins? Because what the fuck, stop calling him that.

Mr. Ayo

CAMDOWN!!!

NotShogunButShogun

Are you writing from the past‽

Mr. Ayo

It was a scheduled post.

Worked out though!

Mr. Ayo
yeah right

5.5 billion for hard ass plastic seats? C’mon Stan you cheap bastard.

Doktor Zymm

Are there USB ports at the seats so you can CHARGERS your phone?

Sharkbait
NotShogunButShogun

Yes, but you have to RRRAM IT in.

yeah right

No there’s not. Grave oversight.

King Hippo

He didn’t spend $5.5B for teh sheeple!

Mr. Ayo

Thoughts and prayers to our injured BLEEERGH disciple.

yeah right

Seated with a beer with 6 minutes to spare. This place is fucking insane!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I REALLY hope Rodgers gets knocked the fuck out but we don’t live in a just world.

Doktor Zymm

I hope he gets diphtheria in consultation with Rogan

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