Away we go…
To The Games!
Panthers/Cards:
That sucking sound you hear? It’s the noise Darnold makes as his career circles the drain. Big arm, slow processor, just too many mistakes. Today we get to see someone else stink it up for Carolina again as P.J. Walker takes the field. I’m guessing we’ll also witness a few scripted run plays from a newly-vaccinated Cam? On t’udder side Kyler is trending towards not playing so you’ll be getting all the Colt McCoy you could possibly handle. This reeks of a sloppy game with turnovers aplenty.
Vikes/Chargers:
After a white-hot start Mike Williams has cooled off but this might be a spot for him-Minny has over the last four weeks been susceptible to the deep ball. If the Vikes had caught a few breaks they would be a playoff hunter-their five losses are by a combined 18 points. They just can’t finish the deal. Could this be Cook’s last game for awhile? Things tend to happen quite quickly these days as info comes out. Both these squadoos can be passed on and each have fine wr’s so things may align for a shootout.
Eagles/Broncos:
I’ve been waiting forever (it seems) for rb Williams to wrestle all the carries away from Gordon but The Fangio has other ideas. Damnit, what’s best for Denver isn’t best for a few of my fantasy teams! Still, I do have a top 24 back with plenty of upside… Anyway, Philly’s D gives up the 4th most points to rb’s in fantasy so both backs are startable.
Seahawks/Packers:
This seems like a sneaky good game to me even though Seattle hasn’t won here in more than 20 years. Both teams have their starting qb’s (one of them is a huge liar that can’t stand criticism of any kind and tends to whine on The Pat McAfee Show) returning and have something to prove. In limited opportunities rb Dillon has shown that he is a hard yet elusive runner that can also catch the ball. The Seahawks Lockett and Metcalf should have themselves a day vs Green Bay’s wonky cornerbacks. Should it come down to a kick, the usually capable Crosby has missed six of his last ten.
Go be you in the comments.
/Donovan McNabb cums confusedly
“Does anybody really want to win this game?”
The Play-by-Play Commentator dropping some truth bombs!
Like one even has to ASK!
Forever, I dub this The Old Yeller Game
Should have used those yellow hankies to dry the football
Ho Lee Fuk. Shitshow is a generous term for this game
There’s your DRAW.
c’mon, admit it. YOU SMILED TOO.
What’s the opposite of a Hail Mary? That’s what this game should be called.
PERFECT HAPPY ENDING SPLOOSH!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
OMG. This is has by far bested the 6-6 tie.
Rudolph: [screams for pass interference penalty]
Ref: “Do I know you?”
This Loins Steelers game is the NFL version of bum fights.
Crosby’s best shot here is PI
TAKE A KNEE, Coach Epps!
Keep the slapdickery going PIT/DET. WE WANT THE TIE!
It’s positively adorable that the two options on the pop-up menu at NFL.com are “Subscribe” and “Later.” I think I’m going to try that when asking a woman out. “She said ‘later!'”
I like “join mailing list” and “I hate saving money” as the options
Pat Friartuck sighting!
and he makes a booboo
Detroit’s kicker took their coaches instruction to “sweep the leg” a bit too literally on that field goal attempt.
DRAW DRAW DRAW! WE DEMAND THE DRAW!!
0-16-1
We can only dream.
0-15-2??
If A-A ron scores a td hisself he has to do a needle in the arm motion for sure.
Better if he just threw himself over a cliff
Heard in HippoLair as Hurts scrambles – somebody hit that little motherfucker!!
Rendering the beef tallow is now finished. I’m moving on to bacon.
How much do I want this Draw? I have the Yinzer’s placement man, but am rooting for him not to even get a chance.
Pittsburgh should have accepted the penalty and made it 3rd and 33, just to see what happens.
We would have gotten an NFL Blitz post here certainly.
I hope Q-aaron’s heart explodes and he dies on the pitch.
He who hesitates is Goff’d.
“Next Score Wins”
Oh graphic on the screen, you’re such a silly, hopeful thing!
In his defense, with some boob jobs I’ve seen, it might feel like a bag of sand.
EDIT: the gif was changed
I know that we make fun of the Browns, but the Lions have to be the worst organization in the NFL, right?
History would say yes.
I don’t know, the Browns have a lot of talent on their team that they’re squandering. I really think they’re comprable and just at different spots in the suck-cycle
Take PIT/DET out back and put a bullet in its head. It would be a mercy at this point
Cam appears to be a tall as 2 Kyler Murrays
I will love Dan Campbell forever if he gets ONE first down, then takes knees to preserve the point.
This is The Perfect Draw. I think we’ve surpassed that SNF SEA/AZ 6-6 performance art.
If The Marx Brothers* were a football game…
*even Zeppo!
Gummo too!
Steeler-Lions has gone full plaid.
What even was that kick?
I disagree with Geico, we absolutely need more trick plays that result in fat guy TDs
More like LOLions
Fucking Lions
To repeat – Baby Buster threw for a total of 54 yards in Normal Time.
His squadron line up for the winning FG.
They MISS.
Clearly going for the Guinness book of records for worst trade
I’m assuming RRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! must have thrown in an extra 1st to get them to take Buster.
Lions marching relentlessly down the field in overtime. They’ll miss the field goal.
https://twitter.com/soIoucity/status/1459995441605619721
NFL is making up for the Steelers fucking over the Bears with bad goals by having the Lions fuck over the Steelers with bad goals.
If it were me I’d focus on getting better officiating, but I guess that’s too complicated.
Touchdown seahawks!
No-Fuck-LioUns, in medium FG range…get called for holding on 3rd and 4
5 yards shorter, he makes that. WOMP WOMP
Sound quality is atrocious but the seating area is fantastic.
PeyPey SINGS!
Pri-son-Girl-Friend-Dropped-The-Soap!
So espn has me listed as 74% chance of making the playoffs.
All my good players are injured and all of my next 4 games are from people at 500 or above.
Got to tip my hat of to God this year, really outdid himself getting my hopes up.
I’m only writing this as a record.
I am seriously gonna quit/retire, Brocky.
I don’t know how relevant this is, but it’s close to what I mean
Same old cam?
blatantly bullshit “conduct” flag?
Yeah same old cam
When did we all agree to call him Jackrabbit Jenkins? Because what the fuck, stop calling him that.
CAMDOWN!!!
Are you writing from the past‽
It was a scheduled post.
Worked out though!
He’s back!!
https://twitter.com/NFL/status/1459992924813361154
5.5 billion for hard ass plastic seats? C’mon Stan you cheap bastard.
Are there USB ports at the seats so you can CHARGERS your phone?
https://www.myinstants.com/instant/yeah/
Yes, but you have to RRRAM IT in.
No there’s not. Grave oversight.
He didn’t spend $5.5B for teh sheeple!
Thoughts and prayers to our injured BLEEERGH disciple.
Seated with a beer with 6 minutes to spare. This place is fucking insane!
I REALLY hope Rodgers gets knocked the fuck out but we don’t live in a just world.
I hope he gets diphtheria in consultation with Rogan