Your First Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

What have you done with your leftovers? The nation needs to know! Has turkey noodle soup made an appearance? Has a sandwich slathered in (oh god, no!) MAYO been thrown down your gullet? I imagine some semblance of normalcy has returned as relatives have shoved off finally-uncle Bob is such a moocher! Tell us about your post-Thanksgiving shenanigans below.

To The Games!

Steelers/Bengals:

Can we have some clarity in the AFC North please? A win here by Cincy would help a tiny bit. Pitt appears to be in a slow slide as an old, injured Ben tries to compete on what’s left of his legs, shoulders and arm. Tying the Lions and giving up 40+ to the Chargers doesn’t speak well of a bright future. If weather permits I can see Higgins and Chase going off here.

Bucs/Colts:

I do like this one-the Colts are white hot having won six of seven (the loss was in OT) and their running game featuring Taylor (league winner?) is clicking. Even if the Bucs without Vea can slow things down there’s always Pittman and passes out of the backfield.

Panthers/Fins:

Miami was dead in the water at 1-7 but have somehow reeled in three wins. (one over the Ravens) Talk of Flores losing the room is a distant memory. Cam’s back and his play has been ‘okay’-his longest pass from scrimmage has been 13 yards. Still, it’s up to CMC and the D to get things done.

Titans/Pats:

Bill almost cracked a smirk when realizing that the Titans are down their top rb’s, wr’s and linebackers. It’s a test of the imagination to figure out how Tennessee is going to put points on the board vs a defense that has given up 13 points combined in their last three games.

Eagles/Giants:

Philly is rolling while doing an excellent imitation of the Ravens. A win here would get them that much closer to the Cowboys as well. The Giants have been alternating wins and losses since mid-October and they’re doing it playing indecisive, unimaginative football. Will Kitchens’ playcalling make that much of a difference? I say a hearty, “NAY!” because it’s mental errors and sloppy execution that is killing this team.

Falcons/Jags:

In the four games since the bye Lawrence has a 1-1 TD/INT number. You read that right. Atlanta has lost their last two by a score of 68-3. With the exception of Pitts there’s no real talent at any of the skill positions on either team. Enjoy.

Jets/Texans:

The fella most disappointed in Wilson’s return must be rook wr Elijah Moore. He’s the one that went on a 24 catch, 336 yard, 4 TD binge while The Chosen One tried to get his head and game back together. The ‘winner’ of this talent-free tilt drops out of the top five of the draft.

Oof! The great games at the top of the sked are certainly undermined by the dross at the bottom. We’ll make the best of it as we always do.

 

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King Hippo

Hard, cold reality day for Yinzers

Game Time Decision

So like running into a car whilst riding a motorcycle without a helmet on?

King Hippo

LIEK A REEL MAN smgdh

WCS

…and here come the pretzels!

Don T

obligatorio (x 2)
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Don T

Tannehill getting the Brady calls in NE. I love this timeline!

Sharkbait

Except in this timeline Randy Bullock has been replaced by Blair Walsh

Don T

$10.000 in Handjob Reparations is peanuts to the Patriots Foundation!
It’s an indult.

Redshirt

How did the Pope get involved?!

King Hippo

They won’t allow touching MRSA Dreamboat ON A QB SNEAK

Mr. Ayo

BLEERGH will intervene on his behalf, though.

Redshirt

Roughing the Runner?

Gumbygirl

I don’t know why people don’t totally headhunt Brady. You’re going to get a penalty if you even look at him wrong, might as well make it worth the effort.

Redshirt

Scotchnaut, when you see your see Burrow’s stats so far, just know I am very sorry and I’m an idiot and I suck at Fantasy Football and I pretty much suck in general.

King Hippo

I can confirm he didn’t (and win is secured)

Doktor Zymm

Ya know, if the NFL really wanted to build an international audience, making it less impossible to view games in other countries sure would help

rockingdog

Hahaha
Tits FG hit the top of the upwright
Went BOINK
That’s Rocking!

Don T

It is certainly not

King Hippo

The Loudest of Doinks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS BUCS-COLTS GAME I CALL IT THE KNIFE RAY LEWIS USED TO STAB A GUY CAUSE IT IS DULL AS HELL.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Mountain Dew, Boneless Wings, Applebees, horrible music…it’s like a window into Guy Fieri’s soul.

litre_cola

If Zona Roja doesn’t show the Falcons game is it really happening?

Don T

Hollister showing concussion strength woo hoo!

King Hippo

oh, u noe he rubbed sum dirt on it

Doktor Zymm

Ooh! Austrian Christmas cartoon with a mailpenguin!

Redshirt

Announcer: “I’m not sure why Burrow didn’t run there. There was a hole.”

(circles a hole about three feet apart that was quickly filled by DTs and LBs)

I guess the CBS Color Commentator is the sole beneficiary in Joe Burrow’s life insurance.

King Hippo

Turns out Rudiger CAN Fail

Gumbygirl

Is he wearing a chicken skin suit and a pork pie hat?

Gumbygirl

Got some condos to look at today, so I won’t be around much. Do I feel like driving to Indio? No, I do not. Shit.

Redshirt

I’m thinking of getting a condo but the increased prices and the homeowners fees are outpricing me out.

Gumbygirl

Some of the HOA fees are fucking ridiculous. And around Palm Springs, many of them are on lease land (tribal) too, so you are putting out huge bucks on top of your mortgage and HOA.

Redshirt

The one I looked at was wanting $167 for water, sewage, trash and outdoor maintenance. After doing the math, I would be paying over $100/mo for them to mow the lawn, clear the roads and repair the roof if it leaks. I would be responsible for repairing the foundation, which I would probably need as the back porch was showing signs of sinking into the ground.

They had no residential communal location. No pool, no park, not even a bench.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Doktor Zymm

Well, there is no football of any sort on my hotel tv, but I can watch ski jumping in German and it will be 31 C in Djibouti tomorrow!

King Hippo

Tuchel is a bit intense, even FOAR a German…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What can you say, the Bucs were really committed to making the turnover there.

Game Time Decision

What flavour? Doesn’t matter, I’ll be right there
-A. Reid

litre_cola

The amount of Red jerseys in Humpsville is shocking.

NotShogunButShogun

Being on the field right now, I can tell you this is fairly normal. All visitors travel well here.

litre_cola

I knew we had a source!!!

NotShogunButShogun

During my time in Indy, I’ve met more packer fans than true horsey fans. Even they dislike the Irsay.

King Hippo

“Working the Pitch” Boots On The Ground??

King Hippo

Fiona made a playyyyyyy

The Maestro

Mac Jones can throw a fucking dime. What a grab by Bourne as well.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You know who doesn’t throw dimes? Jared Goff. Cause he’s a Jew, see…” – Jon Gruden, before a PR executive furiously hits the “dump” button

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And they say Mahomes gets lucky with dropped interceptions…

The Maestro

Afternoon, folks. A fine day for some FOOBAW.

King Hippo

The Legend of White Mac is sportswriter Viagra

King Hippo

Nobody told Robert Saleh that Pretend Army Week is over.

litre_cola

I have yet to turn on Zona Roja ad I feel this will be a day Imma gunna get murdered in FF.

King Hippo

boy howdy, I did NOT need a Burrow rushing score. At least I know not to check scores all day.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ANNOUNCER: …and it’s nowhere near him.

REPLAY: [shows ball literally hitting Mike Evans on one of his hands]

King Hippo

Beatie is having a great season, now that I have no shares of him in fantasy. Godfuckingdamnit

Viva La Tabula Raza

Even the networks are tired of Houston’s bullshit. We always get their games here in San Antonio, but today instead of .500s/NYJ we get TENN/NEP.

King Hippo

the Jest are just a bridge too far, folk would riot

litre_cola

Guten Morgen kommentists. Wie geht es dir?

King Hippo

Ronaldo for Sancho here? Makes zero sense whatsoever.

rockingdog

Chelsea seems semi-rocking today vs ManU. Probably gonna end up tied.
That’s not Rocking.

King Hippo

First position is still first. I sense a winner, still.

/don’t think City is good enough this year, so help your Chelski folk take it (I like Tuchel, at least)

borisnow

Vea active. Both NE RBs active.

Last edited 2 years ago by borisnow
Horatio Cornblower

Taylor’s been carrying my FF team, so I consider this less than ideal news.

Dunstan

Yesterday was soup and sandwich day. And yes, I used mayo, because it is a perfectly fine condiment.

Gumbygirl

Nothing wrong with mayo.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Golfing with father in law and brother in law wasn’t as bad as expected.

rockingdog

Family Time! That’s Rocking! 👍

Horatio Cornblower

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King Hippo

Keep your expectations low and you’ll never be disappointed. – King H.

Similar to George F. Will’s The nice thing about being a pessimist is that one is constantly either pleasantly surprised, or proven right.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That sounds like piffle to me.

Gumbygirl

Did you whup their butts? It’s important to establish dominance right away, or you will always be their bitch.
Don’t be their bitch.

rockingdog

Found a funny;

Priest: Do you take this man for
Better or worse?
Better or worse?
Better or worse?

– an optometrist wedding

King Hippo

Nobody asked, but why let that stop me? Miracle Whip is Trailer Trash mayo, and equally an abortion.

NotShogunButShogun

As Kyle Kinane says, “Mayo doesn’t go bad, it becomes Miracle Whip. That zing? That’s patience.”

King Hippo

My Northern Illinois homeys ($20 bet that would pay off $5K with a win) is surprisingly a 2-point dog to the Guardsmen of Kent State.

This makes me want to not hedge, here. Ride the snake. GOD, I AM INSANE.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So you could get almost even on the moneyline? Could you hedge with a bet of, say, 1k on Kent State so your total return is either 1k or 4k?

King Hippo

Kent State is -130 ML. I’d have to risk $650 to get back $500. I know I should, but I was hoping/expecting like +110-120.

2Pack

Pittsburg Cheer Squad warms up…

Cheerleaders in North Carolina (4).jpg
Game Time Decision

Look at dem ankles
Damn

King Hippo

Dear God. MONDAY IS SO GODDAMNED CLOSE.

Redshirt

Why do you always start Sundays with a threat?

King Hippo

Because I am THE WORST, duh!

Mr. Ayo

That’s why I’m drunk already! Still have a nap and another night of drinking ahead.

King Hippo

I just hate being hungover for SNF. Glad I played the nap card yesterday.

Redshirt

Twist in plot: The Sporting Year of Redshirt is actually 2016; yesterday was Election Day when a pompous ass surprises a group of entitled jackasses and seizes power.

No, it’s too far to compare Michigan to Donald Trump. Trump at least some positive traits. Maybe.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
King Hippo

Michigan has a Sparty fan, Demmycratic Governor. THAT IS SOMETHING!

/for a Republican, Gov. DeWine isn’t so bad

Redshirt

Agreed. If the Republicans were normal, he’d be a dark horse candidate for the 2024 nomination.

borisnow

I’m pretty sure Vea is going to play today. We’ll know at 11:30.

Couple other DFS updates:

There actually doesn’t look to be a chalky QB today…I’d be surprised if any one QB is over 15% owned.

There are reports coming out of Green Bay that Stafford is dealing with “chronic” pain in his throwing shoulder, his throwing elbow, and his back. It’s currently 34 degrees in Green Bay. If I wasn’t off this game already, I definitely am now (potentially famous last words).

The combo of Brady and Godwin will be more popular than Brady and Evans….I have Evans in 100 percent of my Brady lineups.

My highest owned QBs are Brady, Cousins, and Jimmy G.

If there are any other surprise inactives/actives, I’ll let folks know. I’m waiting on news for Aaron Jones, the 2 Pats RBs, and Vita Vea.

I’m adding Jets RB Ty Johnson to my player pool as he is likely to see 6 – 8 targets.

Last edited 2 years ago by borisnow
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Woo hoo, what games will I get this morning?”

[Check 506 Sports]

“No CBS game? And the Fox game is…Buccaneers-Colts? Redo! Redo!”

2Pack

Leftover ham chopped up in a chef salad does two things for ya. Uses up some leftovers, and soothes your concerns of over eating all frigging long weekend.

Dunstan

“What is this ‘leftover ham’ you speak of?” — Andy Reid

Gumbygirl

Roughage the passage.

Redshirt

I don’t play Fantasy, but I’d go with Herbie. The Bengals OL has been iffy the past few days and the Pittsburgh defense will be in REVENGE MODE!!! due to being embarrassed at home by the Bengals earlier in the season.

Mr. Ayo

Burrow!

King Hippo

MAYO is an abomination before God.

Rum Ham/Man City in the light blizzard is the gift we get for surviving the 2020s (so far).

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish fútbol in the snow was as much fun as football in the snow.

King Hippo

fancy mayo, still an abomination

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He also spelled “mancy” wrong.

King Hippo

and I’m NOT EVEN HIGH yet (smh)

rockingdog

Gaaahhh
Corrdalle Patterson still a game time decision 😬
That’s not Rocking

B784F614-C0B6-47A3-A8A9-D320D8C2098D.jpeg
Game Time Decision

Haha to all his ff owners

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