Your Second Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

And away we go…

To The Games!

Chargers/Broncos:

Both qb’s have banged up o-lines to deal with so whoever can get the ball to their talented wr’s should have the edge. Though the sorta dynamic duo of Gordon/Williams must be salivating at the prospect of the atrocious Chargers “Right This Way, Ma’am” run defense. Denver also has good news in the form of Bradley Chubb being lifted off IR and apparently will play today. It should be a close tilt as the Chargers have played one-score games in 7 of 10.

Rams/Packers:

These two are a combined 1-5 (Rams had a bye) over the last little while and don’t exactly come off as world beaters. With Woods gone for the year OBJ switches from a luxury to an essential part of the passing game. I predict he’ll get off to a fast start and then lose focus just as he always does. Rodgers is starting to come off like the aunt that tells long, involved stories of her every ache and pain.

Vikings/Niners:

Both teams have responded very well in recent weeks to the point that they’re both sporting a 5-5 record. Jimmy G’s renaissance has certainly benefited the team-his 6-1 TD/Int ratio highlights his mistake-free play which has in turn taken a bit of pressure off the muddled backfield. Rb Mitchell is expected to play but Wilson should get his as well. Should be interesting as both coaches want to run the ball down the other’s throat but can also fall back on fantastic talent at the wr spot.

Go be you in the comments.

 

 

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yeah right

Give me my vino. Time to ease the pain.

Dinner was delightful though.

King Hippo

Two strangest teams in the NFC, head to head. Ms. Nel’s squadron gets this’un, think both make the playoffs.

yeah right

Goddamn if we could show even the slightest resistance with our defense it’s a real team.

King Hippo

plus Dingleberry got the yips a few times (the 2-pointer with Jefferson wide open was a throw I could have made). And you need Cook to be only a little ded.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve seen more actual doinks (actually hitting the upright and making the noise) today than I have all season.

NotShogunButShogun

Doink hath spoken!

Horatio Cornblower

Shankl’or makes an appearance!

Game Time Decision

Or 2…lol

NotShogunButShogun

Nice ad Joe…way to sell paper. Dunder-Mifflin would like a word.

King Hippo

Ratbirds -3 seems like stealing, doesn’t it?

Mr. Ayo

#ThePauls will oblige.

litre_cola
NotShogunButShogun

Eddie Murphy knows how to fix a pinkie toe…ask Della Reese.

NotShogunButShogun

OH FUCK. NAWT MADDEN/FARVE!!!

Petronel

I think this Vikes radio dude is getting slightly homicidal at the moment.

NotShogunButShogun

That’s normal for him.

yeah right

Agreed. That’s a feisty announcing crew.

King Hippo

Dingleberries WILL be indecisive like that.

jjfozz

I know I’m an adult, but I can’t stop posting moronic comments in the Ravens subreddit and watching them get all wound up. What a bunch of homers.

jjfozz

“He’s looking down right now watching his [INSERT NAME OF TEAM] play.”

Really?

If that’s a high point in the after life, I want to live forever.

Redshirt

Why do you think God rested on the 7th day and made it holy? Its certainly not because of Him creating the universe and everything it; its so He can watch football!

EDIT: I just reread the comment and saw it was an insult. Still, I do stand by my comment that God created everything for football.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Redshirt

Yay! No Al Michaels tonight!

litre_cola

Called in Drunk?

jjfozz

but fuckstick Colinsworth will still be on air, yammering away like a broken child’s toy donkey

Redshirt

Peacock really needs to create a feed with Cris’ mic turned off.

Mr. Ayo

Cancer scores!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Tribute to tWBS by FOX, with the Greenday playing in the background.

Petronel

Minnesota radio dude: “IT’S A GOAL BY LOGAN COUTURE!”

this guy is AWESOME – snarky as hell.

Last edited 3 years ago by Petronel
Petronel

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Marlin Perkins? His pal Jim?

ArmedandHammered

Let us watch as Jim jumps out of the helicopter to give that grizzly bear a prostate exam. We are concerned about the reproductive health of the native grizzly population. You of course don’t have to worry as long as you have Mutual of Omaha’s health insurance.

Horatio Cornblower

I used to love that show. “Now I’ll stay here while Jim goes into the den to check on the wounded mountain lion and her cubs…”

Here’s the famous video of Marlin and Stan, (must be pre-Jim), getting thrashed by an anaconda:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vT3GOc9Zgo

Viva La Tabula Raza

/Marlin takes a couple surreptitious shots from his pint of Johnny Walker Blue.

I’m glad you could come up with the perfect narration from that show on such short notice. My brain is like a stewed canned tomato what with 2 years gone by in my Fortress of Solitude/

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GREEN BAY TEAM I CALL THEM THE PACKERS, BECAUSE THEY ARE PUSHING THE RAMS SHIT IN, AND ALSO BECAUSE THEY ARE REALLY CALLED THE PACKERS, PRESUMABLY BECAUSE OF THE MEAT PACKING INDUSTRY ONCE PREVALANT TO THE GREEN BAY AREA, BUT NOW, MUCH LIKE THE INDUSTRY, LITTLE MORE THAN AN ANCHRONISM WITH VERY LITTLE APPLICATION TO THE AREA!!!!

NotShogunButShogun

Correct, but they still have large packing plants. The infamous jbs runs them.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They have…..THE MEAT!

Mr. Ayo

THIS HORATIO CORNBLOWER I CALL HIM A PEDANTIC BECAUSE HE OVER-EXPLAINS VERY OBVIOUS SUBJECTS TO THE POINT OF OBLIVIOUSNESS AND BECAUSE HIS CONTRIBUTIONS ARE AS USELESS AND BORING AS THE EXPLANATIONS OF PROFESSIONAL TEAM NAMES AS THE TEAM NAMES ARE THEMSELVES.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean…that was the joke
/walks out of clubhouse kicking rocks
//keys Ayo’s car

Game Time Decision

No need to show the Cook injury for the 23rd time in a row

Mr. Ayo

FATCEPTION!

NotShogunButShogun

Stafford clearly having lion flashbacks at Lambeau.

Petronel

I’m not much of a lip reader, but was A.A.Ron just called a bitch on replay?

Mr. Ayo

He’s been called that many times not on replay.

Mr. Ayo

WOOCEPTION!!!

King Hippo

Pat Surtain, Q4 belongs to you!!!

NotShogunButShogun

Which?: Troy getting smrter, or Joe dummer?

litre_cola

Marcedes Lewis is one of those guys that When I hear his name I am shocked he is still in the league. Also worked for Matt Breida.

Game Time Decision

Good news SF place kicker , you get to kick again. Maybe make it a touch back this time

jjfozz

Meet Massengill’s new spokesperson, Aaron Rogers.

At Massengill we love to say, “Takes one to know one.”

Petronel

Watching the last Packers play:

”That’s Equanimeous, right?”

”Must be. We saw Amon-Ra play the other day.”

Game Time Decision

Bank shot FG makes a great sound

NotShogunButShogun

Oh the shenanigans!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Elvis Costello as bumper music? I’ll take it…

Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Counter counter counter point

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eifljYPFW-E

Viva La Tabula Raza

I saw Nick Lowe play this tune at Antone’s in Austin a couple years ago, his backing band was called Los Straitjackets (cool band, check ’em out. I think Lowe was cowriter and producer of that song.

King Hippo

Fuck, I had to praise our secondary’s tackling.

Game Time Decision

But they can catch

jjfozz

Can we shoot Joe Buck in the throat with a speargun and call it a fucking day?

litre_cola

If you want to be more hands on may I suggest a trident?

Petronel

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Redshirt

/ next week

“With Joe Buck recovering, meet his replacement: Cris Collinsworth!”

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, given the two I’m defenestrating Collinsworth and not thinking twice, or regretting anything.

jjfozz

Tough choice, but with Colinsworth’s love of the Steelers and how he pisses on the Ravens, I vote for disemboweling that shit slinging buffoon with an electric drill

Petronel

WOOP WOOP WOOP

King Hippo

Lovie Smith thinks that’s a moronic challenge

King Hippo

now 3 more, Deebo!

Game Time Decision

Yep. Of course, I started him in ff today
-GTD channelling his inner Brocky

jjfozz

Monarch tv show – it’s a version of Empire, but for white folks who are completely delusional and think “those people” are getting a little too big for their britches.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought it was just the Fox version of Nashville.

jjfozz

It looks fucking horrible, which means people in fly over states and other areas will eat it up like sausage gravy n biscuits.

Horatio Cornblower

I am not going to stand idly by while you slur sausage gravy and biscuits, Sir.

My second shall call on you presently to arrange the details.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Empire was on Fox also. Definitely designed for MAGAts.

NotShogunButShogun

Except for teh black people part.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean every single character was corrupt and violent, so I think it fulfilled their audience’s, um, “expectations” quite perfectly.

Redshirt

So Republicans?

NotShogunButShogun

Nah, same sides of a magnet repel.

Redshirt

Actually Brett Favre is much better than Aaron Rodgers. At his worst, Favre came off as a reckless player that didn’t know when to call it a career. At his worst, Rodgers put people’s lives at risk.

Redshirt

Actually you proved my point. One is too proud of a little prick, and the other is too afraid of a little prick.

Don T

🏆

jjfozz

Email sent to HR person about the shitty ass interview I had with the snarky millenial. I could give a shit about the position, but I’m fed up with this crap.

Redshirt

You sound like my supervisor interviewing for a job in my department. His notes included the phrase “Does he know how to interview?” “Does he even want this job?” and “This is a waste of time?”

Example:

This type of job would involve you working with people and sometimes working by yourself. Which one do you feel more comfortable with?

“I don’t like other people so I’m better working by myself.”

Meaning: I’m not a team player.

How would you react if you notice something was done incorrectly?

“I would check if I did it correctly.”

Meaning: I’m only concerned out myself. Also, the phrase “I would inform my supervisor in a timely manner” not found.

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. Senorita Weaselo and I just had a rehearsal for a gig we’re playing Friday and I’m pleased to say we (mostly) kept it PG!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[frowns] – Olivia Manning

Horatio Cornblower

My wife is tired of leftovers and has announced we’re having pancakes and bacon for dinner.

Oh look, Andy Reid’s car!

Game Time Decision

Love me some breakfast for dinner

Horatio Cornblower

They attempted to convert it to run on bacon grease, but with Andy around well, you know.

King Hippo

just sop that up with a doughnut!

Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

That seems like a major step down, competition wise, although not having to live in Oklahoma probably makes up for that.

Redshirt

If you’re USC, you need to win the Pac12 to make CFB Playoffs. If you’re Oklahoma, you just need to get to the SEC Championship Game to make the CFB Playoffs.

Which is easier? Winning the Pac12 or winning a SEC division?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oklahoma is in the Big 12.

Redshirt

Oklahoma and Texas are going to SEC in a few years.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Knowing things? That sounds like one o’ them fancy college kids. GET HIM, BOYS!

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Redshirt

Hey, if it wasn’t for college infecting me with your Liberalism, I would’ve been one of those MAGAts who invaded the Capital, and I would be tried, convicted and currently be used as currency in prison wondering why God’s Supreme Commander Trump isn’t personally rescuing me.

King Hippo

for 1 more year!

Mr. Ayo

More like downed Cobb salad ala touch.