Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Holy Jeebus! Did anyone else shovel snow to the point where they thought they were going to throw up? Just me? Between that and the lake that we’re on making loud and threatening cracking noises, I’ve just about had enough of winter and we’re just getting started. TL:DR? Woe is me.

Newsy Notes:

-If you’re a Niners rb you must be thinking that an invisible bullseye is sewn into your jersey. Trenton Cannon is the latest to be lost-this one’s a concussion.

-As a writer on SBNation’s Vikes site put it-“FIRE EVERYONE!” Zimmer didn’t exactly make any new friends by losing to a Swift-less Lions club. I felt that Detroit wasn’t going to let at least one get away this year. As Chris Liss said a week or so ago, “they’re the most dangerous winless team in the league”.

-Minshew Mania saddles up for another go-around! Thing is, Philly’s got a bye next week and Hurts is scheduled to be ready to go in two weeks. Still, he did what a backup is supposed to do-play as much mistake-free ball as possible so the rest of the team can get the W.

-Shall we call it a Fromm-palooza? A Jake-off? It looks like a wet behind the ears qb will get his first start for the Giants next week. If my dicey memory serves, he was out of Georgia and highly-regarded at one point. And then his senior season happened and he fell to the 5th round. New York poached him from the Bills practice squad instead of giving their own practice squadder a shot. Good luck behind that o-line kid, and I hope you’ve got wheels because you’ll need them.

-Another Giants Tidbit: They’ve been outscored 52-0 in the last two minutes of the first half.

To The Game!

Pats/Bills:

-Much like where I’m at, there is a wind advisory (gusts up to 55mph!) for Buffalo and environs that ends at 10pm tonight. There’s a 40% chance of precipitation as well.

-If anyone in the league has an arm to throw in these conditions it’s Allen and he will give it a try I’m sure. I’m also sure that the Pats will increase upon their 19 interception total.

-Mayhaps he should play it safe like Macaroon Jones. During the current winning streak he has a 9-2 TD/INT number.

-I don’t despise the Pats nearly as much as I have in recent years but I would like to see a Bills win. Why? Because then there would be a massive clusterfuck of 7(!) teams with 4 or 5 losses in the AFC. GO CHAOS!

Bundle up.

 

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Sharkbait

Good luck finding the ball in that pile.

Horatio Cornblower

BFC was kind enough to send me one of these and it is goddamn delicious.
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Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

(That’s not me; my nails are in much better shape)

Redshirt

Call me crazy but I think this is going to be another run by the Patriots.

Horatio Cornblower

The Bills are going to play some form of pass defense on every play even though it is apparent to literally everyone else that Mac Jones is not throwing a forward pass for the rest of the night.

Because with the Patriots getting 7 yards a run, there’s no need to.

Brocky

The game went to commercial and my dad changed the channel to redzone out of habit

Sharkbait

Weaksauce penalty

King Hippo

yeah, bad even for NFL reffing

Horatio Cornblower

I’m rooting for the Bills, and I endorse this position.

Horatio Cornblower

Louis Riddick: “So you see Diggs just runs a slant and go….”

Bill Parcells: “I could go for some Thai takeout.”

litre_cola

Thighs? I am more into feet – R. Ryan

Horatio Cornblower

Always nice to see a story about a football player confronting his alcoholism while I’m dumping Grand Marnier into my hot chocolate.

Col. Duke LaCross

How in the hell can this clown still afford to advertise his shitty pillows on an actual network?

litre_cola

Trumps “Truth” social media platform has raise a billion. I don’t believe that but people are fucking stupid.

Horatio Cornblower

I own two of those pillows, and they’re actually pretty comfortable. Would I ever buy another one?

No. Fucking. Way.

LemonJello

Why does Eli still live in New Jersey?

litre_cola

His wife from there?

Sharkbait

Whats the difference between Jersey girls and trash?

LemonJello

You aren’t embarrassed taking out the trash?

Sharkbait

Judges?

Yes. We will accept that answer. The answer was Trash gets picked up

Gatoraids

Financed his hardware store from the mob

Don T

Bought a house away upwind from the sewage smell, Joisey’s customer service can’t be beat.

Sharkbait
Brocky

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Sharkbait

Mac Jones with a smooth 116.7 QBR in the first half

Don T

His only pass of the half was a mature throw. Impressive.

Brocky

This game is boring

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litre_cola

I thought Dave was cancelled for something?

Brocky

I remember him getting some flak for making fun of palin’s hussy daughter

Gumbygirl

He had a consensual affair with a girl who worked for him, much younger than him
(like to a gross degree) and he was married, I think. So, the usual. But not rapey or anything.

Brocky

I don’t know what I was expecting. But it certainly wasn’t David letterman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSXvTIR2AAg&feature=youtu.be

Gatoraids

Pats will pull out the wishbone in the 3rd

Sharkbait

Special teams definitely got the “STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM PUNTED BALLS” yelling message from Bill

Horatio Cornblower

/Ballsofsteelandfury: Awww

rockingdog

LOL

CE8C684E-F33A-4801-B696-7F4130FD91A4.jpeg
Gumbygirl

.

1312346.jpg
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well done!

The Maestro

Jonnu Smith is a goddamn acrobat. Holy shitballs.

Don T

They all become good in New England. He was the Roberto Durán in the Tits TE room.
/opens door, spits towards sidewalk

Petronel

NICE CATCH!

Sharkbait

Harry about to be left behind in Buffalo

litre_cola

I am thankful for the Manning cast whenever it is on.

Gatoraids

Yeah going to put them to the test when they have to power through Joe Buck in the 4th

Gumbygirl

But we get rewarded with Letterman in the 2nd. I’m always happy to see him!

Don T

Damn Bills. When the NFL Truth Commission is finally convened, the Bills and NFC East jetsam and floatsam will be accountable for enabling the Patriots Dynasty.

litre_cola

Bear defense? If Buddy was around he would regale us with some tale.

Horatio Cornblower

Like Buddy ever put up a defense against a bear.

LemonJello

Who really got on SHAN’KHLOR’s bad side?

rockingdog

It’s like a bad driver shot in golf where it just slices out waaaaayy to the right
LOL

Game Time Decision

Need Singletary to get less than 10 points. Not feeling like I’ll win

Sharkbait

WHO NEEDS PASSES?

rockingdog

Boom!!!
Harris with the big TD run
Pats up!!! That’s Rocking! 💯

King Hippo

The most insurmountable lead EVAR

litre_cola

Hippo haz sad

King Hippo

definitely got itchy up in here

The Maestro

THAT’S MORE FUCKIN’ LIKE IT!!!!!!

King Hippo

SHIT

Gumbygirl

We had the inspection on the condo today. No surprises, yay! We signed the escrow papers, things are moving along quickly. Veterans United has never done us wrong! And we had lunch at a Jewish deli in Palm Springs, sooo good! That’s the kind of thing the Gumby’s heartily endorse!,

Sharkbait

Woohoo! Glad the place is up to par!

LemonJello

Palm Springs was always a bright spot during those stints at 29 Palms.

litre_cola

That’s great news. Send corned beef.

Gumbygirl

I had a ginormous reuben. They do it all in house, including the sauerkraut and pickles. And it’s a bakery too. We got some awesome looking cake to take home. Keeper!

LemonJello

Andy Reid has entered the chat

Gumbygirl

He would never leave. Andy would declare Sherman’s Deli “the sideline” and if anyone argues, he’d eat them.

Gumbygirl

I’m down with teh gayz, so that’s cool!

Game Time Decision

Love me a reuben. There’s a deli near me that makes a great one

rockingdog

LOL only a 15 yard punt
That Wind is rocking!

rockingdog

Found a funny;

J’ACCUZE: My new reality show where small claims court is held in hot tubs

Downfield Matriculator

I, for one, Cherish this post

Gumbygirl

I’m old enough to get that.

Gumbygirl
Viva La Tabula Raza

I bought the 45 of this record. When it was first released.

Gumbygirl

Pretty sure my sister had it.

Sharkbait

This game might end 3-0

Redshirt

A field goal in this wind? Maybe an Own Field Goal.

King Hippo

I was wondering about the over/under. 2.5? We could get a Frank Beamer Celebration game. (WCS gif pending)

The Maestro

Damien Harris… wat r u doin???

King Hippo

yeah, there might be a little wind

litre_cola

OOOh am tight with Ayo. He has Diggs, I have Knox. Need some Knoxdowns.

King Hippo

I need Harris not to score 4 TDs.

clint greasewood

I need both Harris and Diggs to go go off.

Mr. Ayo

Stupid Bateman

Sharkbait

GO CHAOS!

The ONE time I’m not team chaos.

King Hippo

Hate the segment, but I am 100% ok with Randy Moss taking umbrage over fake redneck-ness. That man is an EXPERT.

LemonJello

A wind advisory, you say? Brian Kelly is hard enough to cut diamonds right now.

ThurberHerder

I saw it reported that they took the Skycam down for this game because of the wind. Which disappointed BK until someone pointed out that it isn’t physically manned in the air anyway.

King Hippo

The Legend of Frozen White Mac

Downfield Matriculator

Works for dinner too!

tjoesbasicmac01.jpeg
Redshirt

GAMBLOR question: right now JV Cincinnati is two touchdown underdogs to Alabama at +450. If they were to change the line, would that also affect the payout?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That doesn’t make sense. As two-touchdown underdogs, you’d expect the vig to be -110 or thereabouts. +450 sounds like a moneyline (i.e. Cincinnati will win outright) bet.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Redshirt

I probably got it backwards or something. This is why Ohio needs sports gaming, so I can practice.

King Hippo

Also, +450 ain’t enough to tempt me, it will rise.

Redshirt

Same here. It’s not worth an hour’s drive to Indiana.

Senor Weaselo

Hey Hippo, it does not look like there are odds on Purchase vs. Army tomorrow night, probably because it would be in the neighborhood of 50 points.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

HBO is working on the window outside. It’s a lot like that scene in the Matrix, where Neo is getting chewed out by his boss.

Redshirt

Let me know if someone gives the flipper.

Redshirt

Trump accidentally spoke the truth.

https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/news-9wkazhkepw0