Your Covid-Ravaged Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

There’s no need for me to repeat details of all the weirdness going on in the NFL right now. I should point out that five NHL teams (Boston, Nashville, Calgary, Colorado and Florida) are getting extended Christmas vacations because who wants to see a bunch of AHL players playing in the big leagues? The Shield will soldier on though because those practice squadders are “being given an opportunity to shine”, apparently.

To The Games!

Panthers/Bills:

Buffalo is in a 1-3 freefall but should get a bit of relief in the form of the offence-less Panthers. The latter team’s brain trust has decided to spread the blame by having both Cam and P.J. take turns at qb. Freefall temporarily slowed! (the Bills get the Pats next week though)

Cards/Lions:

Arizonny was not able to retain hold of the top spot in the NFC and now sits in 3rd behind the Bucs and Packers. Good news as they visit a Detroit squadoo that is down to Craig Reynolds (maybe some Jermar “Don’t call me Jerm!” Jefferson as well) at rb. The passing game should be a travesty now that HOCKEY! is gone for the year.

Jets/Fins:

Many Mormons go on a two tear mission to god-foresaken places but The Zach Attack chose to spend one lost year in the wilds of Outer Jersey. Now that rook wr Moore is down there is very little to work with. Ah hell, he wouldn’t be able to do anything behind that will o’wisp o-line anyway.

Cowboys/Giants:

Needless to say, Dallas will be improving on their 8-3 record over New York. Dak and Zeke aren’t exactly themselves but they don’t need to be given all the other difference-makers on both sides of the ball. I look forward to Coach Judge’s empty platitudes about ‘making progress’ in the post-game presser (that he’s always late for, thus inspiring even more ire among the lads and lasses that cover the team)

Titans/Steelers:

Pitt has lost three of their last four after being infected by that tie to Detroit and there is nothing left in Ben’s tank. Tanney hasn’t taken the step forward that was required after King Henry went down-he’s gone for a 4:6 TD/INT number and a YPA just barely over 6. The Titans need this one given that the Colts won last night.

Texans/Jags:

These two and the Lions are jockeying for the first overall pick and that’s exactly where the interest lies in this game. Well, not the game itself, just the outcome. No one outside his family thinks much of Davis Mills but the kid has three 300 yard games under his belt.

Enjoy the tilts-before the league tilts.

 

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Spur

New York loses a receiver in garbage time. Non contact injury.

litre_cola

Victor Cruz?

Spur

Shep

LemonJello

Jake “Squeaky” Fromm, NYG quartered back.

Gatoraids

Fromm New York With Loathing

LemonJello

Fromm Here to Eternity

ThePirateSloth

Since I haven’t annoyed anyone here with this yet, has anyone watched Final Space? I just discovered it 2 weeks ago, and have binged it twice. I had no idea that show would hit me right in the feels, and it makes it worse to know that the story is only half way done and it was cancelled not because of viewership, but because of a corporate merger.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have you watched Arcane? I can’t get anyone else here to watch it.

ThePirateSloth

I’ve been kinda thinking about it, but I am not a League of Legends player or fan.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wasn’t either of those things, and I loved it.

ArmedandHammered

It is on my list to watch since The Critical Drinker also loved it.

Game Time Decision

Love it

It’s chookity

LemonJello

Is there not a “more competitive” game to switch to?

I haven’t seen giants getting beat like this since Game of Thrones ended.

Gatoraids

might be able to find an old Harlem Globetrotters via Washington Generals game on the Ocho

Gatoraids

Tannehill losing control like someone put the safety on his gun

Doktor Zymm

So the lesson I am taking away from this, the Lions org is so fucked that randos off the street who haven’t had to deal with their crap constantly do better than pros who have

Gatoraids

Tomsula pointed them to some friends of his who ran out of copper

King Hippo

Taking the lead with consecutive 1-yard drives. No wonder The Shield wants them in the playoffs!

Spur

Fromm time in Nuevo York

LemonJello

Jake Fromm State Farm?

Don T

Make the steelers kick a FG
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NotShogunButShogun

They keep giving them a chance, but Pitt no want it.

NotShogunButShogun

I know it’s the holidays, but you don’t gotta give it all away!

Don T

Hm. That Reno 911 is the only Q related thing that has caught my attention.

King Hippo

I think I’d rather watch the 500s than the Yinzers. They are just that gruesome for the neutral.

NotShogunButShogun

SUDDEN SLIGHT INEVITABLE CHANGE!

Spur

10th INT for Diggs

ThePirateSloth

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW down 13-3 at halftime and have scored 10 points in the 2nd half to tie the game! WHAT A TEAM! WHAT GREAT FOOTBALL

Spur

Diggs had it. his butt was down with the ball in two hands and then Golladay ripped it out

NotShogunButShogun

Oh tanny…you…that was ill-advised.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welp, can’t blame that one on the refs. Sorry for wanting you to win, Titans.

King Hippo

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Tanny Fanny. Tanny Fanny. Tanny. Fanny.

Spur

WTF is Dak doing. CeeDee give him an out. the play was busted, he should have ran.

King Hippo

oh man, Monday is rite around the corner, I can’t wait!!!

Spur

Barkley needs to get out of New York for this mental health. His agent better be working a trade

King Hippo

Saquon might just be too big/ripped for his own joints to manage the workload. I don’t think it’s gonna happen for him.

Gatoraids

Wilkins pretending someone threw him a ham with that TD

Col. Duke LaCross

Dude did the leap and the worm!

Gatoraids

yeah I could feel the vibrations in my house 9 miles away

Don T

TOTAL BULLSHIT ROUGHING!

litre_cola

Fat guy down!

Mr. Ayo

FATGUYDOWN!

ThePirateSloth

I’ve always felt some kinda way about these fucking “buy your partner a surprise Xmas car!” commercials, but they are especially egregious airing now when a large percentage of people have not been living with a dependable income for almost 2 fucking years during a gotdamn pandemic.

ThePirateSloth

heh

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Gumbygirl

Yup.

Game Time Decision

Wonder what a car sized bow costs?
To lazy to look it up

Doktor Zymm

Turns out they’re just rentals! I would be pissed if some deluded idiot bought me a car and I didn’t get to keep the giant ribbon

Doktor Zymm

A lot of people have extra savings from not going out for 2 years though, the target audience for these things has always been the white collar work from home crowd. The ongoing chip shortage and resulting price hikes for new cars is probably just getting them to push the ads more

King Hippo

Still, who buys something like a CAR as a GIFT? Too personal in terms of choosing model, options, etc.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, only deluded idiots, or people who want the car for themselves but are pretending it isn’t for them, or controlling assholes who want to pretend abuse is okay because they buy stuff, or maybe newly rich people who think that’s what rich people are supposed to do

Spur

Am going to buy myself a car one of these years. Am going to make that dealer drive it out with that bow just for me.

Don T

Joe Haden made a play? Shit; I clearly chose the wrong week to quit santería.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Every week is the wrong week to quit santeria.

Gatoraids

— nods in Sublime cover band

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hell of a play, but the receiver’s shin touched the ground – should have been down.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I swear to God my rooting interest is poison for the teams involved. Sorry, Titans.

Don T

And fuck the refs1!1!

Don T

Bold casting move by State Farm making Q Aron’s gameshow host into a snide liar.

Horatio Cornblower

The sight of happy Jerry Jones makes me question every decision I’ve made since my aunt got me that Lee Roy Jordan jersey back in 1974.

Last edited 2 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
King Hippo

One day soon, you’ll get Kate in the owner’s box. Just hang on for that.

Mr. Ayo

And then it would doubly fun to get into Kate’s box.

Spur

It’s best not to think too much about what makes a Billionaire happy

Spur

Good Dallas drive. Dak and the offense look much better when the tight ends are catching passes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The call apparently has come in from the NFL to the officials to make this TEN-PIT fixture a little more “interesting”.

Redshirt

“How many times do we gotta bail out those Pittsburgh assholes?!” R. Goodell

litre_cola

I could use the corpse of David Johnson for a TD.

Horatio Cornblower

Glennon short by a neck.

There’s a sentence I never expected to write.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Favre comes up short by two inches!

Horatio Cornblower

-sigh- “I know”

-D. Favre

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Todd Marinovich short by forty-eight cents!

/can you help him out, man, he’s just trying to buy a burrito

Gatoraids

Cardinals should be renamed the Christians after this mauling by the Lions.

rockingdog

Update;
LAMAR will not play today
Ravens going with Tyler Huntley at QB

Spur

That sucks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

YOU GET A CONCUSSION! AND YOU GET A CONCUSSION! AND YOU GET A CONCUSSION!

Spur

Go Fuck Lions! comment image

rockingdog

Yoooo
That INT by Lions Defense was Rocking!!! 💪

Redshirt

“Fighting is okay, you just can’t taunt your opponent.” – 2021 NFL

Fronkenshteen

In the unenviable position of being a contemptible alcoholic who is pretty sure he’s being treated worse than he deserves. I. am. alone.

Fronkenshteen

Also, these games are poo.

Horatio Cornblower

You’re never alone in the DFO Clubhouse, Fronk. Hang in there.

You are, however, correct about these games.

litre_cola

We are always here! This place has helped me through some real low times!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know that living through this pandemic would have been a LOT tougher without you folks. And that includes you, Fronkenshteen.

clint greasewood

You know its a December Jacksonville-Houston when they keep showing the draft position graphic.

ThePirateSloth

*sigh*

What a time to be alive! I can’t wait to tell other people’s grandchildren how amazing it was to live during these historic times!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s adorable that you think any of us is going to live that long.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m barely able to watch this Giants-Cowboys game, but the only thing that’s keeping me from throwing things because of the Dallas underachieving when I do watch is the overwhelming confidence that Glennon is going to fuck it up before the Giants can take advantage of it.

And as I type that Glennon barely misses a pick-6. Never change, Mike.