“We Are All Broken” – 2021 Shitsmas Greetings

There ain’t really any footy to speak of, until NFL goodness this afternoon (Scotchy will have us covered, as long as his “hobo disposal” duties are complete, tools cleaned and stored, etc.), so we will mostly just talk amongst ourselves here.

But, for the purposes of thought, I wanted to post this nugget of pensive goodness, from the incomparable Josh Marshall:

It is difficult to write about COVID today without immediately hearing people’s intense often knee-jerk reactions. There are people pushing masking and almost every other kind of restriction. Others with an equal intensity oppose almost any efforts to brace the country for the onset of Omicron. I was reminded of this (as if I’d had much chance to forget) in various conversations about the public schools in New York City this week. I do not put these differing attitudes – or any of the gradations between them – on an equal footing. I lean more to the former category. And, to be clear, I am only talking here about people who are broadly in a reality-based universe: People who have gotten vaccinated and encourage others to do so. People who recognize the horrible toll COVID has taken on the country. But there is a common driver of intensity across that spectrum. Which is that people have reserves of hurt, fear and anger after two years living through a global pandemic. That gets channeled into these reactions. This doesn’t make sentiments any less true. But they’re all powered by an erratic emotional fuel which is a product of the last two years. If you open yourself to it, you can feel it. It’s palpable and not always pretty. Everybody is a bit broken by it, even if their physical health is more or less unscathed.

Very few of us today have any living memory of World War II. For the vast majority of us it’s history, clear and bookended. It begins for the US in December 1941 and ends a few months shy of four years later. A grinding, long period – but it has a clear beginning and end. And we know when it ends. Once it’s over things not only go back to normal. After a very brief period of economic readjustment and inflation they actually get way better than normal.

But none of this was clear at the time. In 1942 it wasn’t clear how long the war in Europe or the Pacific would last, whether the US would win or what would happen afterwards. So in 1942 you’re not thinking, ‘Well, two or three more years of this and it’s done.’ You actually have no idea. You hope. But hope is not a plan.

This isn’t to say no one had any idea. Military planners had general plans and timelines. But as the military adage puts it, no plan survives first contact with the enemy. Plans aren’t facts. Certainly at the level of individuals living their lives, separated families, rationing, nothing’s certain and the future is open ended. And not in a good way.

Peace, love, and brotherhood to all y’all imaginary folks, regardless of your level of brokenness.  Except for Fahrad Moshiri and Rafael Benitez – y’all can get fucked and jump in the Mersey.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
90 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
scotchnaut

/yesterday

MIL: “I read a story about some babies found alive in a bath tub with a bible.”

Me: “Sounds like one of those dumb Facebook stories.”

MIL: “It was reported worldwide.”

Me: “Any word on whether the babies were molested by the bible?”

Wife: [icy death stare saying, Shut. The. Fuck. Up.]

Gumbygirl

Merry Christmas, my darling dears!

facebook_1640461718013_6880595145711215665_69748805730578.jpg
Brick Meathook

This fish still has a stunned expression, wondering about all the things that have happened to him lately:

comment image

Dunstan

He knows what he did.

scotchnaut

I CALL THIS FISH AN OTTAWA SENATORS GOALIE BECAUSE IT WAS SCORED ON MULTIPLE TIMES!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok off for a little hike, Happy Jesus’s birthday to those of you that celebrate and enjoy your Saturday to the rest. Let me know who’s in charge of Fozz’s alibi this year.

Gumbygirl

I will get up there on the witness stand, sob convincingly, and say”he’s a good boy!”

scotchnaut

This is a quality idea-it’s a few degrees above zero so I’ll do a small 1/2 hour one before the big dinner later on.

Senor Weaselo

Merry Christmas, lizard friends. Just watched Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas, drinking tea out of my new Ravenclaw mug, eventually showering to spend the afternoon with the Italian side of the family.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We watched the Taran Killam glee club one last night, so good

Senor Weaselo

What the hell are regionals?

Horatio Cornblower

Why would you shower to hang out with Italians?

Oh hey! Fozz found my hou

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Feliz Navidad, Señor!

The Maestro

Merry Christmas, you miscreants. Homemade paninis await soon. Already read my new issue of National Geographic History cover to cover, and soon it’ll be time to switch from mimosas to something more robust.

Last edited 2 years ago by The Maestro
yeah right

Merry Christmas you reprobates and ne’er-do-wells.

Think I’ll get a Christmas morning walk in. The harbor is lovely this time of year.

jjfozz

Last night, in an attempt to be nice, I mentioned the Pope, and was promptly met with, “I don’t like him. He’s too liberal.”

My mother in law, Super Catholic, doesn’t like the Pope.

You can’t win.

litre_cola

No sir you can’t with her.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Maybe the Pope ain’t the problem.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Either way, he should be doing some excommunicating

Redshirt

Let’s be honest, if Jesus Christ showed up in today’s time instead of in the 1st Century and said and did the same thing he did then, he would’ve been lynched long before the government got his hands on him.

Gumbygirl

Damn dirty hippie.

Redshirt

Look we all long for the returns of the days of saeculum obscurum, but we’re going to have to made do with what we got.

Gumbygirl

My father in law is the same way. He thinks the altar should face backward, and mass should be in Latin.

2Pack

She is not the only card carrying Catholic with that opinion. This Pope is a bit too political for many of my friends.

jjfozz

The Grinch Stole Christmas movie is an abomination. Every person in that film should be dragged out, shot, and thrown into a ditch. Then set on fire.

What a dripping load of shit.

Senor Weaselo

Which (non-original) one are you referring to?

Redshirt

There is only one remake that I am aware of.
comment image

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Senor Weaselo

I apologize. I actually like bits of the Jim Carrey one though! Namely this part.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-nzlKUQ1QQ

Redshirt

Yup. If this movie went to its logical conclusion, it should’ve ended with Santa Claus joining forces with the Grinch and burning Whoville to the ground.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“HO HO HO HO MORE LIKE ASHEVILLE AMIRITE?”

Dunstan

Whole Foods had turduckens in the display case yesterday. I was briefly tempted.

litre_cola

I need to do that 1 year.

Dunstan

I suspect it’s one of those dishes that sounds and looks cooler than it is to eat. I doubt it does justice to the duck, and I’m not sure what the chicken really adds other than “more meat that is slightly different from turkey.” But could be fun to try.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My mom made it one time. It was fine. A bitch to cook and not necessarily better than just cooking individual birds.

Gumbygirl

We had it one year. It was ok, but not worth repeating. The duck fat did keep everything from drying out, but I didn’t love the stuffing that was in it.

WCS

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Senor Weaselo

I thought we couldn’t post straight-up pornography on this website.

Dunstan

“But non-straight pornography is ok, right?” — Buddy Cole

litre_cola

This should have been on the Festivus grievances but as a society there has to be something better than paper straws. They are fucking awful and inventors need to do better.

Horatio Cornblower

My wife finally ditched her plastic straws, (was there group family nagging about how bad those were for the environment? You BET there was!), for some sort of washable silicon straws. They seem to work pretty well, and thanks to her sacrifice global warming has been solved.

litre_cola

We bought metal ones in Mexico and they work fine, I just dont want to have to carry them on my person. Really glad she solved global warming.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Am I the only one who remembers celluloid? Is there some reason they can’t make straws out of that?

Gumbygirl

I got a drink somewhere recently that had a cardboard straw, coated with something shiny. It didn’t fall apart, so that was good, but I don’t know how environmentally correct it was. My son went to elementary school with a little girl named Aja who called them “scraws”. She liked scrawberries too.

rockingdog

LOL

Rewatching the Matrix with my dad. We have subtitles on. The first thing my dad said was, “huh, I always thought his name was Neil.”

rockingdog

Found a funny;

🎶
I know when that hotline bling
Glory to the newborn king
🎶🎵

Merry Christmas y’all!!!

Redshirt

…and remember, Climate Change and Global Warming is a myth.

503366FD-DB80-4894-988B-DEA64D04B34C.jpeg
litre_cola

-25 C here, NOT NORMAL

Horatio Cornblower

That’s -13 for us God-fearing ‘Merrikans. Is that “not normal” too cold, or “not normal” too warm for you heathen Canucks?

litre_cola

We are in a 2 week cold snap. Usually we get one week of it in mid January. We went from fall through November (weird) to fucking cold as fuck with no middle ground to ease into it. We got no lube pegged my Mother Nature!

Redshirt

Jeez, both ends of the thermometer there.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We were already broken before the pandemic, now we’re fucked.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Horatio Cornblower

The weather has bequeathed me the greatest gift of all, icy roads precluding my having to travel two hours to my sister’s house.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause, and this year he is a rain god.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can’t you ride over on one of the neighbor’s cows?

Horatio Cornblower

He’s kept them penned up since I went over and dumped a bunch of cow shit in his driveway, then told him the next time his cows were in my yard I was having them shot.

I’m very popular and everyone loves me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Beef for the neighborhood!

Gumbygirl

Me too! Rock and mudslides for the win!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Merry Christmas, Janeane!

FHamhqEVUAA4mZM.jpeg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pulled pork is in the slow cooker, tri-tip is in the sous vide. Time to kick back and…huh. 7 a.m. is probably a little too early to break out the lighter fluid eggnog.

Dunstan

“Ok, so that’s breakfast taken care of, what about the rest of the meals?” — A. Reid

Game Time Decision

Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate (All hail Bleergh) to my favoUrite buncha degens

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You just gave me an idea. We should have feast days for the various deities and demigods based on dates where they manifested themselves fully.

Dunstan

Lamb shank is the required meal on Shan’klor’s Day

Horatio Cornblower

/clears away the bland oatmeal bowls

Hope everyone saved room for creamed chipped beef on toast. And Happy Bleergh’s Day to each and all!!!

Senor Weaselo

Kippers for breakfast, Uncle Rikki? Is it St. Swithin’s Day already?

litre_cola

I am very hungover but Decilitre didn’t wake up til 530. This is a yuuge victory. Now I am on Lego duty and Mrs. Cola is on construction site building.

Hope you are all safe and healthy. I will wear a mask and take as many needles as I have to in order to do stuff.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[gathers an armload full of needles]

“Cool, cool, what exactly are we doing now?” – Todd Marinovich

ArmedandHammered

Morning and Happy Holidays! I hope to join you for at least one game but the wife, She has deez plans and I think I am supposed to be a part of them.

Don T

¡Feliz Navidad cabronee—

[coughing fit]

—eees!

All the blessings and good fortune to alls you brilliant and hilarious freaks, and a virtual hug—especially to all germophobes 😂🤣.

How ‘bout traditional music? In PR the main Crismas topics are:
1. Drankin,
1A. Eating, and
2. Alcohol.

“If the mountain’s burning, let it burn. We’re buzzed and drinking, and nothing’s missing”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=AL38bwEL-OI

2Pack

Sometimes my best military plans do not survive the first road intersection…

IMG_20211225_141913.jpg
Don T

Needs more dog.
-bk109

Doktor Zymm

I enjoy going places and doing things, so I support stuff like masks so I can continue to go places and do things. I overheard some (vaccinated) idiots yesterday complaining about enforcing mask wearing in the ship gym, blabbing some nonsense about how they’ll pass out if they exercise in a mask. I didn’t want to sully my Xmas dinner (fried brie, chestnut truffle rissoto, spice cake, washed down with a nice cava and a deep tissue massage after) by talking to strangers so I just rolled my eyes and felt superior.

TheRevanchist

That’s the Christmas spirit!

2Pack

If you are doing cardio obviously a mask will restrict that. That said I would not go heavy cardio… on a frigging boat… during a pandemic. I’d save those workouts for a more appropriate venue.

Last edited 2 years ago by 2Pack
Doktor Zymm

Or they could run on the OUTDOOR TRACK instead of using the indoor machines. Or view it as an opportunity for high altitude training at sea level, or just tune their workout accordingly.

2Pack

Run in place in your cabin. Dudes obviously have not done any time in prison.

Game Time Decision

Be a real shame if a few of them went for an unscheduled swim in the ocean

Last edited 2 years ago by Game Time Decision
Gumbygirl

You are superior, in every way!

TheRevanchist

Merry Christmas to you, my brother from a hippo mother. The time is almost 4am here on the west coast, so my attention span is low. However, I did do my part in helping the war effort in getting the booster shot (and flu shot) 17 hours ago. I feel like shit temporarily, and will feel better by Sunday. Fuck them assholes who can’t just do a decent thing for all of mankind. If I die, who is going to walk the dog? My kids and wife? Fuck no! She deserves better than that. She’s a good girl who has some great gifts under the tree.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great day today.

470C6A79-4A3A-435A-B75A-74B3AE812296.jpeg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did you get up to watch the James Webb launch? My nieces joined me (and my nephew shortly thereafter) and it was really wonderful to share that with them.

TheRevanchist

I just left the NASA live feed. So awesome! Brought some tears to my eyes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No disrespect to that bartender fellow, but…

Jackie Nevada >>> Jackie Daytona

litre_cola

Ron Mexico> than all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even better than Jack Painterson?

Brick Meathook

L. Ron Mexico > Ron Mexico

Horatio Cornblower

It is known
comment image