Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

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Hope your fantasy dudes have put up the required number of points. As for your opponent? He/she can get fooked, amirite?

To The Game!

Vikes/Pack:

-Sean Mannion, come on down-the world is your…uh, what’s the opposite of an oyster? And the ball/your balls? Hold them close because it’s gonna be about zero at game time and that’s in Farfegnugen, not Celsius, so that’s cold.

-Yup, it’s long way down from Kirk Cousins, no matter how much flack he takes.

-Green Bay holds all the best cards and just have the Lions left-The Most Dangerous Two Win Team In The League.

-By his play lately, Rodgers is absolutely determined to get another MVP trophy. In the last 5 games he’s sporting some silly numbers-16-0 TD/INT, 70.6% completion rate and an 8.3 YPA. The problem is that the voters for the award are going to be doing their own research. An anti-vaxxer holding a major award? The Goodell is working behind the scenes as we speak.

-If the Vikes have any chance at all-and they do-they have the only wins vs the Pack at Lambeau during Lafleur’s tenure-Cook will have to go off like he did last year-226 combined yards and 4 TD’s.

-If the Minny does lose and the Eagles win the former is out of the wild card jamboree.

-I’d have guessed that the Cowboys would have the best turnover margin but the Packers were blessed with Baker Mayfield last week and grabbed four interceptions from his flour-y hands. (I’m guessing)

Do your thing.

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BugEyedBoo

Back to the salt mines tomorrow. Blah. I should have taken this week off to go with my job’s mandatory last week off.

yeah right

Had an amazing day out with my adopted Jersey family. I’ve known these good folks for about 40 years and holy shit do I love them so much. To a person these are some of the best folks on the planet.

Yes, 2 of them are Packers fans who were with me on the Lambeau trip and also yes I had my back to the TV.

Another part of life’s journey that makes me feel like I helped do some real good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Are you paying attention to this segment on etiquette?” – the Dr. Mrs., loudly talking over the segment about etiquette that I was trying to pay attention to

Horatio Cornblower

Just got a text from my son, regarding his upcoming loss in the title game of his FF league: “Not the game I needed Antonio Brown to have.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was this the perfect child of yours that told his roommate that Aaron Hernandez had gotten out of prison?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, he’s not in prison anymore, is he?

Horatio Cornblower

The very same.

Sharkbait

The most entertaining part of that was the fat guy catch.

Gumbygirl

Good night peeps!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bring on Le Monde!

Game Time Decision

There’s pie?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“There was.” – Coach Andy

Sharkbait

Well THAT made this game interesting

TheRevanchist

Fat guy touchdown would have made it more interesting, but we were kinda close.

BugEyedBoo

The DBs on that Immaculate Reception by the center were priceless. “I’m not tackling that!”

Fronkenshteen

This is pathetic. I’m out.

jjfozz

Death to release latest hit single this Friday: “I got 99 problems, but White ain’t one.”

Fronkenshteen

Dalvin Cook does not look like a man who will eclipse 79 yards tonight.

litre_cola

He is limping and is now done it appears

Sharkbait

Hey Kirk, How are you feeling costing your team their season because you aren’t vaxxed??
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Doktor Zymm

You are making the very strong assumption that ol’ Cap’n there has a legit shot at throwing balls to his own team often enough to result in victory.

Sharkbait

True.

Fronkenshteen

Collinsworth’s shit commentary is actually trending on Twitter. Time for a change NBC.

Doktor Zymm

Hey everyone! Just got back from kayaking and excited to watch some football!
*flips on game, looks at score*
Hey everyone! Just got back from kayaking and excited to watch some 1970’s Upstairs Downstairs!

jjfozz

Enough with Betty White already. Jesus jumped Christ.

litre_cola

Can I interest you in some dead John Madden?

Fronkenshteen

Bad take.

Gumbygirl

.

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Horatio Cornblower

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Fronkenshteen

Go for it, Mike.

litre_cola

That was a bad read.

Fronkenshteen

Try something else, Mike. The wildcat. The fumblerooski. Anyfuckingthing but this.

Fronkenshteen

I still think Over 42.5 is fucked.

litre_cola

2 tds. It could be ok. Cook gets one and a garbage gb one!

Fronkenshteen

Boy if you needed a big one from Cook tonight, you have to be ready to fucking murder Kirk Cousins. Born again stupid.

litre_cola

My buddy in Winnipeg needs 5 pts from him as it stands and is raging.

Fronkenshteen

I think they’re about to sit him and let Mattison finish this out.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If Jarvis Landry doesn’t score 70-80 points tomorrow night, I win the championship in my college friends league.

WOOOOOOOOOOO!

litre_cola

BFC, that is exactly who I have left to face in my c’ship. I am up by 32 right now.

litre_cola

He also has Dillon tho…

Game Time Decision

Need Boswell to score less than 55 points tomorrow and I win my championship…wooohooo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s all the momentum Mannion needs…to lead them to at least one more field goal drive.

Fronkenshteen

To think Dalvin Cook scared me off laying the wood with GB.

Fronkenshteen

Never leave Sean Mannion this much time. He’s a viper!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is a very important audition to replace Mike Glennon

Fronkenshteen

Anyone looking for a mental palate cleanser, might I recommend a (now defunct) podcast called “Bananas For Bonanza”? Its improvised comedy featuring Andy Daly playing his character Dalton Wilcox, Matt Gourley from Superego playing Mutt Taylor, and the absolutely inimitable Maria Bamford as Amy Sleeverson, a character from her standup. Each episode is a dissection of one episode of Bonanza, a show I’ve never actually watched. It seems to be a folly they engaged in to work during the initial COVID wave. Dumb fun for big dopes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The two of us rooting for QAron and Davante are quite happy with that play.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And to be clear, i hope Rodgers dies of gonorrhea very very soon but he won me this championship

litre_cola

Same here.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’re the other one

litre_cola

Yessir. I feel dirty but will take the money!!!

Game Time Decision

Need Jones to not get negative points

NotShogunButShogun

Fuck you Cris! Yeah it’s so magical to play in the cfs! Work here douchecanoe!

King Hippo

Can I really go to sleep without knowing FOAR CERTAIN that I have triumphed in the 7th place contest??

Sharkbait

I would say so. Yes.

litre_cola

Yeah I think ye are good.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just back from standing around in 20something degree weather to see some people we really like and a few meh ones. Gonna take me a while to warm up, but when I do, the premature championship win celebrating is going to be middling to ok!

Fronkenshteen

Hippo, thoughts on Lucas Digne possibly joining Hammers. Good fit? We’re also in talks with Wolves for Adama Traore and his greasy arms.

litre_cola

Oooh, there will need to be a tanker up the Thames to East London!

King Hippo

Digne is a fantastic player and human being. Treat him well, and let him attack.

litre_cola

Love it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did you see the reply that said “AB is short for CTE”?

Horatio Cornblower

I did, yes.

Horatio Cornblower

Yahoo is giving my team a 9% chance to win, which means, 9 times out of 100, Najee Harris is going to outscore Nick Chubb by 36+ points.

Go find a line on that in Vegas, and tell ’em Yahoo sent you.

litre_cola

Gunna be real funny if Mansion wins this when we know Cousins wouldn’t.

Don T

Got more class than the University of Phoenix curriculum.

SonOfSpam

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS???

“14-18 is good, after that they’re like wait why I am with this guy?”

Plus, the interviewer’s name is Terre Blair, which I hope rhymes with Care Bear.

litre_cola

Roll those damn R’s Frenchie!

Horatio Cornblower

Goes a long way towards explaining Jack Collinsworth.

Fronkenshteen

Wow. Zimmer has already achieved Coughlin levels of purple skin, and it’s only the first quarter. Break out the Vaseline, I guess. (PHRASING!)

King Hippo

#TwoThings

TheRevanchist

Mansion seems to be doing okay so far. The rest of the team is questionable, still.

SonOfSpam

“Thank you!”
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litre_cola

Primetime must win game, probably best Cousins isn’t playing.

King Hippo

Fair do, Mannion hasn’t looked THAT bad.

King Hippo

Naut du Scotch – did you read today’s Joe Judge article in The Athletic?

King Hippo

Hey, the peoples could use reading material:

CHICAGO — The first 12 minutes of Joe Judge’s postgame news conference were focused on topics like an inept passing game, a special-teams miscue and a questionable play call. It was the standard postgame fare.
But after Judge’s Giants got blown out 29-3 by the hapless Bears, a much more important question loomed: Why should fans have any faith that Judge can steer this franchise out of the abyss?
All indications have been that Judge will be granted a third year despite a 10-22 record in his first two seasons. But five straight losses by double digits could cause ownership to reconsider. With general manager Dave Gettleman and his 19-45 four-year record a week away from a pink slip, ownership certainly could decide to make a clean sweep after an unsightly stretch of non-competitive efforts.
So when Judge was asked why fans should believe that he can turn things around, he addressed the paying customers. But his epic, 11-minute closing soliloquy felt like it was mostly directed at his bosses.
The overriding message of Judge’s passionate monologue was that a culture is being put in place for success despite the utter lack of results on the field. Judge declined to identify specific “things moving in the right direction,” but he made it clear that he inherited a foundation with significant cracks.
Judge referenced “golf clubs in the locker room” (wide receiver Golden Tate’s golf bag resided in front of his locker late in the 2019 season) and said leaders failed to show up for captains’ meetings late in previous losing seasons.
“When I came here and I sat down with all the players, I wanted to know what it was like in here, what we had to change from their mouths,” Judge said. “To a man, every player looked me in the eye and said, ‘Joe, it’s not a team. They don’t play hard. We’re out of playoffs, everybody quit, everybody tapped out.’”
Judge emphasized the ways this year’s team is different. He spoke about how his players continue to fight, pointing out fourth-down defensive stops in the final minutes of their last two losses while trailing by more than 20 points.
Judge said impending free agents “are in my office every day begging to come back,” while players who left in the offseason call twice a week to say “how much they wish they were still here and they’re getting paid more somewhere else.”
Judge said the Giants “ain’t some clown-show organization.” He mentioned not having players fist-fighting on the sideline, which seemed like a clear reference to Washington Football Team defensive linemen Daron Payne and Jonathan Allen coming to blows during a recent blowout loss to the Cowboys (coincidentally, the Giants play Washington in the season finale).
“The toughest thing to change in a club is the way people think,” Judge said. “You can get new players … you got to change how people think. You got to change how they believe in what you’re doing. And then you got to trust the process. And that’s a lot easier said than done when they’re looking up right now and you got one game left and the most games you’re going to win is five this season.”
And that’s the rub. As Judge waxes poetically about how hard players practice and stay committed to the team, there’s no carryover to Sundays. The Giants have lost six games by 20 or more points in Judge’s two seasons. That matches the total from 2014 to 2019 under predecessors Pat Shurmur, Ben McAdoo and Tom Coughlin.
No one wants to hear injuries as an excuse, but five of those six 20-point losses came after quarterback Daniel Jones was lost for the season with a neck injury in Week 12. The offense was subpar with Jones and the team was 4-7 in his 11 starts, but there was at least a semblance of competency.
The offense has been completely hopeless in the five games without Jones. Quarterback Mike Glennon completed 4-of-11 passes for 24 yards with four turnovers and four sacks against the Bears. That came a week after Jake Fromm completed 6-of-17 passes for 25 yards with an interception in a 34-10 loss to the Eagles.
If Judge is back, his top objective this offseason will be totally rebuilding the offense. There will be a new offensive coordinator, additional staff changes and a devotion of resources to the offensive line. Odds are Jones will return as the starting quarterback, but the organization must at least explore potential upgrades.
Judge can point to the defense for hope that he can get the right pieces in place. Hiring Patrick Graham as defensive coordinator was Judge’s top priority after getting hired in 2020. There’s room for improvement, but the defense is almost solely responsible for all of the Giants’ wins and competitive showings over the past two seasons. A foundation is evident and with most key players returning, it’s reasonable to expect that unit to continue to grow.
Meanwhile, Judge was in an arranged marriage with offensive coordinator Jason Garrett, who had long been a favored son of ownership. Judge belatedly fired Garrett in Week 12, but Jones got hurt in the next game and the season went completely off the rails.
Just as Judge was saddled with Garrett, he also had to work with Gettleman. As Judge described the broken situation he inherited, it was impossible to ignore that Gettleman assembled that roster.
The Giants have been favored in one game this season. That they lost it, 17-14 to the Falcons in Week 3, doesn’t reflect well on the coaching staff. But being an underdog in the other 15 games speaks volumes about the roster Gettleman has constructed during his four years.
After surprisingly hiring Judge, then a 38-year-old special-teams coordinator, co-owner John Mara said, “It’s up to us to show a little more patience with this coach than perhaps we have over the last few years because he is a first-time head coach.”
Mara understood there would be growing pains, although Judge’s repeated game management miscues remain a major concern in Year 2. And maybe things will change with a more potent offense, but coaching ultra-conservatively seems to be part of Judge’s DNA.
Nonetheless, it’s entirely possible that Mara still believes in the vision Judge laid out during his job interview two years ago. Ownership could decide to give Judge a clean slate with a compatible general manager and a hand-picked offensive coordinator.
If Judge is retained, ownership must brace for the backlash from a fan base disgusted by a decade of losing.
“Fans have every right to boo,” Judge said. “If we don’t play well, every fan has the right to boo my ass out of the stadium.”
The few brave souls who show up at MetLife Stadium for next Sunday’s finale surely will take Judge up on that offer. But the people who will ultimately decide Judge’s fate will be sitting in the owner’s box.
“In terms of the next step to take, I can tell you right now: I know we’re a whole lot closer to where we’re going than further away,” Judge said late in his sermon.
We’ll find out soon enough if his bosses are convinced.

Fronkenshteen

They need to trade Saquon while they can still get decent draft picks for him.

King Hippo

2020?

Fronkenshteen

True dat

King Hippo

I am staying awake in hopes we get some Week 18 TV schedule tidbits.

TheRevanchist

Apparently marketing firms are going with “annoying” as the theme.

King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO STORY – My grandson cat (Noodles Edmond D***s) absolutely LOVES protein oatmeal. He always devours whatever traces I have leftover.

SonOfSpam

“Protein oatmeal” will be a top 5 PornHub search term by mid-2023.

King Hippo

Lead Status – Insurmountable

King Hippo

How many times do you think Q-aaron tried to get them to record Aaron Rodgers, JoeRogan.com sHeePLe!!!111

TheRevanchist

With the Browns being eliminated, the new year is already setting out to be a good time.

SonOfSpam

Wife, heading to store: “Need anything?”
Me: “Pretty much outta beer.”
Wife: “I thought you were doing Dry January?”
Me: “Damn you and your sorta-okay memory.”

Horatio Cornblower

“Dryish”

litre_cola

I need Q-Aron and Adams tonight, I will just loiter at the back of the clubhouse.

King Hippo

I had $60 on Yinzers ML already, I REALLY like that bet now.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, I agree on that one. Have no idea why Cleveland is favoured.

King Hippo

I read how The Ben is still The Mad #ThePauls didn’t draft him. He won’t lose their last showdown.

Horatio Cornblower

We all know Ben gets what he wants, one way or the other.

ballsofsteelandfury

Reports are coming out that Davante Adams is getting franchise tagged next year. I wonder if that will piss him off and make him score a LOT of FF points tonight…

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Reports are coming out that your daughter who just found out she got in early decision at USC is about to get SANCHIZE-TAGGED, if you know what I mean.”
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Horatio Cornblower

Mark Sanchez is going to try to make a pass at her, but is instead going to smack his face against some other guy’s ass and knock himself out?

TheRevanchist

I hope he goes off for 200 yards and 3 scores. I want the Packers to pay big to keep him. BIG!