Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

It’s the last one! Whatever shall we do? Wait until next year again? Done!

Fallout:

-I mean, I have to mention AB because what else am I gonna do? But the mountain of speculation is too much-he was benched, he was hurt, he was denied earning his bonus, he has CTE, he has separate mental health issues. Spin the wheel and take your pick.

-Mikey Gallup tore his ACLU and he’s a free agent this summer. Life sucks.

-The Cowboys were jobbed as well, by the refs though. HAH! As a watcher of said team for over 40 years I can say with confidence that when the team is good 8 out of 10 calls go their way, quit yer blubberin’.

-Do you hear/feel footsteps off in the distance? It’s him, oh god, it’s him! Yeah, the timeline looks sorta good for King Henry rejoining the Titans during the playoffs. Hide your women and defensive backs!

-As for Joe Judge spending 11 minutes ranting about the Giants not being a clown organization, well, enough said. As a radio sports commenter said, “He always makes it as difficult as possible for people to like him”.

To The Game!

Browns/Steelers:

-What do we make of these two struggle monkey teams? Both of them have some fantastic pieces in place but there’s only so much you can do when your qb is weighing you down.

-With respect to Ben the writing was on the wall last year and I think the organization made a huge error by not drafting a qb of some, any sort this year and now they’re going to be in hell unless they grab a placeholder (Matt Ryan?) in the offseason.

-Oh Baker! Does no one in the organization have the balls to tell him that he would best serve the team as a game managing qb? A solid defense, a great o-line, two great rb’s-the formula is there to win the majority of games but he went out and tossed 4 INT’S last week. smh.

-There’s yakking going on about ditching him in the summer but I’m sure cooler heads will prevail. Perhaps he could spend some time with Cousins, who seems to know and understand his role.

-Anyhoo, expect Cleveland to keep things ground bound given that Pitt has a terrible rush D that has given up an average of 179 yards for the last 5 weeks.

Your turn.

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TheRevanchist

“Let’s trade OBJ. He is obviously the problem.”

clint greasewood

I’ll give it a year before OBJ’s dad and Fatford’s wife are tweeting at each other.

BugEyedBoo

The next time they have a throwback day, they should make them use those old-style ginormous shoulder pads.

yeah right

I thoroughly enjoyed Don’t Look Up.

It was also heart breakingly true.

That being said is Trevor Lawrence intentionally trying to look like a Na’vi from Avatar.

I mean he’s very non threatening to many including his opponents but you do you.

JimU

This game has made me question my ability to enjoy football.

Game Time Decision

Love how both Mannings are baffled by Cleveland’s timeouts

Last edited 2 years ago by Game Time Decision
litre_cola

Baffled by everything Cleveland tonight

rockingdog

I just need 5 more points from Chubb
Then I win my first fantasy football Chip
My face feels like it’s melting 😵‍💫

Last edited 2 years ago by rockingdog
Mr. Ayo

Chubb questionable to return (knee)

Just kidding, it’s the coaching staff being stupid. 4 carries in the 1st half is inexcusable.

Dunstan

“Chubb questionable”

They have pills for that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

On a scale from “spent the last hour swimming in Long Island Sound” to “fully erect” how would you characterize your level of excitement?

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
BrettFavresColonoscopy

So, who want to get this drive also ends with a Mayfield INT?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry “drive”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What did you guys do to AJ Green that he’s playing defense for the Browns?

BugEyedBoo

mRNA + cloning technology. DNA degradation left him with DB hands.

Game Time Decision

Like Rog has evar heard any Snoop Dogg

Fronkenshteen

Holy shit. This game is as fixed as pitt’s supe win over Seattle. They got to Cleveland coaching staff. There is absolutely no reason mayfield’s shitty ass should be throwing on every down. This is preposterous.

Gumbygirl

Counterpoint: Mayfield just sucks.

Fronkenshteen

Agreed. So why do they keep dropping him back? After a 4 INT game? This is fixed.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The incompetence of Cleveland staff cannot be overstated.

Gumbygirl

I doubt that an NFL game could be fixed. There are a couple hundred people on the sidelines who would have to be in on it. Zero chance it wouldn’t come out.

Redshirt

It can be two things.

Fronkenshteen

On his last home game of his career? Please. Money changed hands here.

Redshirt

Baker, Baker, Baker. You’re not a Superstar QB. You’re not a Gunslinger. You won’t win the games by yourself.

You’ll win the games by getting the ball to the actual playmakers. You’ll win the games by giving what the defense gives you and nothing more. You’re not bad. You’re not good. You’re just…Andy Dalton.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

With or without a soul?

Redshirt

(does image search of Baker’s wife)

Without. He definitely sold his soul to Satan a while ago.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s his real wife in the ads? I thought her acting in the Halloween one was actually quite terrific. Accomplished a bunch without even saying a word. And I’m not kidding – I genuinely thought that was a professional actress.

BugEyedBoo

I ‘found’ a Dutch website streaming ESPN. I read somewhere that Dutch is practically English. I’m here to tell you that’s bullshit. I don’t speak Spanish, and I can understand more Spanish than I do these Dutch commercials.

Redshirt

I would so watch the Welsh language feed of an NFL game.

litre_cola

The best is the halftime show in Scotland. It is some dude who had a cup of coffee in the NFL and 2 other dudes that may have played for the London Monarchs. The Scots eat it up.

Gumbygirl

When we lived there, the weekly NFL game was hosted by Mick Luckhurst. I think he briefly kicked for the Falcons. He called the field “the pitch.”

Gumbygirl

The game would last for 6 hours.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Of 3 or 4?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll take the over

Redshirt

Redshirt’s Commercial Canon Update: Flo from Progressive is perpetually in a good mood due to being in denial of being in a toxic relationship with her family.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS FLO FROM THE PROGRESSIVE ADS I CALL HER AARON RODGERS BECAUSE SHE HAS A LOUSY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FAMILY AND I WOULD NOT SHED A TEAR IF SHE DIED BECAUSE SHE REFUSED TO GET VACCINATED FROM A PREVENTABLE DISEASE.

litre_cola

She also masturbates regularly at work with one of them remote control dealies.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just turned on the TV, chose the ManningCast, saw Goodell, my TV vomited, and I switched to Tirico.

Redshirt

My TV is on the roof threatening to jump.

Redshirt

The game is crushing my will to live. Make it stop.

WCS

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It definitely sucks

litre_cola

I do enjoy ELi busting Peyton’s balls.

hippofant

The thing about that Matt Damon commercial that bugs me the most is that nobody fucking says fortune favours the brave. FORTUNE FAVOURS THE BOLD.

Redshirt

THANK YOU!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Maybe some other company owns the trademark for “bold”?

rockingdog

LOL I wonder if he got paid in bitcoin

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope he got paid in some ridiculous shitty pump-and-dump altcoin which he immediately crashed the price of by cashing out.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I prefer the Boetheus quote that good fortune deceives and bad fortune edifies.

But Damon would have to look up too many of those words.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My friend’s dad thinks his experience day trading in this last year reflects his skill, and I think this quote is very fitting as far as that’s concerned.

herodotus450

What about Fortune Favors The Emphasis?
/little typesetting humor for you guys

Game Time Decision

Is Goodell on dial up?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Probably, so if they ask him any questions about the WFT sex trafficking he can claim his connection was going bad and immediately hang up.

rockingdog

LOL

MATT DAMON [striding through a futuristic room]: History is filled with brave men who spent $378,000 on a cartoon ape

Redshirt

Eli seems to be the kid who plays Jenga by himself because he has no friends.

SonOfSpam

HEY CLOWNEY
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Redshirt

Is that the same chair he did the NFL Draft from? Is that the NFL’s equivalent of the Mobius Chair?

Is Roger Goodell Metron?

NotShogunButShogun

That reference wins me.

litre_cola

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Game Time Decision

I’m winded from booing

SonOfSpam

I hate that it’s three hours of ballwashing Ben. but at least this time it’s consensual.

Redshirt

Consensual or not, this game is going to leave a bad taste in all our mouths.

rockingdog

Nick Chubbb are you gonna be Rocking tonight? 🤨

Game Time Decision

Still better than the regular crew

litre_cola

Mrs Cola likes it, and redzone. She finds these two yokels knowledgeable and funny, and no commercials on Redzone.

Game Time Decision

Love me some RZ

ballsofsteelandfury

This game brings back memories of the years when I felt much more comfortable when the Steelers were on defense.

Gumbygirl can probably relate to that.

Gumbygirl

He still is!

litre_cola

Just shows you that you are his favoUrite.

Redshirt

Just remember to counter-attack and be handsy yourself. It’ll completely throw him off his game.

litre_cola

Always appreciated, everyone likes a show and no one drives it like the owner.

BugEyedBoo

Like, say, 2020?

Gumbygirl

Yup.

jjfozz

My wife’s chili isn’t what i would call “great.” But I smiled and downed two bowls.

jjfozz

355 gonna be gone in 1 2 3

jjfozz

The last time a rapist got this big a send off, Attila the Hun was hanging up his sword.

Game Time Decision

Thank Bleergh for the Manning cast. Will make the game a bit moar watchable

jjfozz

Three dropped passes, for any other team that would be surprising, for the Browns that business as usual

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d have said it was better than average for them.

jjfozz

Oh Baker, you unloveable douche

jjfozz

how in the bloody fuck could anyone like winter?

litre_cola

I prefer it to 100 F.

jjfozz

You are right, but fuck winter

ballsofsteelandfury

I prefer 100.

litre_cola

You are originally from Mexico. Makes sense.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw, come on, he’s all right. He’s certainly come a long way.
comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

That offense is … not good.

Don T

A drunken “You never loved me!” rant would make a great finale for “At Home with Baker Mayfield”

Redshirt

“You make millions of dollars, yet you made me squat in a stadium, you asshole!”
“Its only my rookie contact, you bitch!”

Game Time Decision

Can Alice Cooper yell at him to keep it down as the screen fades to black?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

O CAPTAIN FATFUCK MY CAPTAIN
comment image

Redshirt

As a football fan, if this is Ben Roethlisburger’s last home game, I hope it ends with him getting subbed out at the end to get a last second cheer.

Mr. Ayo

I hope he gets carted off. They can still get in a cheer then.

Redshirt

deletes my comment that starts with “As a Bengals fan,…”

litre_cola

How do you feel about getting punched in the junk in a pile on National TV?

Gumbygirl

As a Steelers fan, fuck Ben Roethlisberger.

Redshirt

Roger Goodell is on Manning Night Football. This is not a drill.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“And *this* is not a drill.” – scotchnaut, realizing he mistakenly grabbed a staple gun when headed out “hunting”

litre_cola

I am here for the Omnicron party? Who gots it and who wants to make out?

litre_cola

Seriously though, just give it to me and lets get it over with. I have 3 doses and will take 200 more if I have to in order to do shit.

Game Time Decision

Same. This variant seems like it’s “when” not “if”

We’re not back to lock down again but schools are virtual again and store are at 50% capacity and no more indoor eating or gyms

litre_cola

GTD my trip at the end of Jan is defo in jeopardy. Fuck.

Game Time Decision

Yep. At best the teams play to an empty stadium up here

herodotus450
Redshirt

The 2021-22 Cleveland Brown Season (Artistic Interpretation)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa9Cl9MxCPQ

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Serves her right, for all the times she pulled the ball. She’s lucky she’s not in the emergency room having one of Charlie’s size 5 Keds surgically removed from her ear canal.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

Really, fuck trying to kick the ball, just kick Lucy!

JimU

The Browns are already eliminated from playoff contention and with a loss or tie, the Steelers will be eliminated too. Even with a win tonight, the Steelers still need a lot of help to make the playoffs.

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh, there’s no way in hell they’re making the playoffs. All it takes is for Indy to beat the Jags and they’re eliminated. That’s money in the bank.

Redshirt

You…you have to root for the Jaguars next week? Dear God, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

Game Time Decision

Come on tie

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No, no, on the DRESS, you idiot. The tie is the gift that can connect me to her.” – Bill Clinton, exasperatedly explaining things to the real-world equivalent of Olivia Pope

borisnow

Baker is the type of QB who holds the laces out

rockingdog

Found a funny;

That’s me in the corner

That’s me in the cock

Fight

Losing to a pigeon

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve always thought the other one was:

I’ve got my Sprite

I’ve got my Orange Crush

Gumbygirl

That makes more sense!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For some reason the idea of two-fisting sugared beverages makes me think of Jamarcus Russell.

Redshirt

.

B50F8AF9-078E-48FF-82A0-B3E8213A9A4F.jpeg
ballsofsteelandfury

Is Cleveland still favoured in the spread?

ballsofsteelandfury

No, they are not. Now it’s Pittsburgh -2.5.

That’s a six point jump from the opening line. That’s insane.

Redshirt

Factory got eliminated from playoffs, so they have nothing to play for.

Pittsburgh still has an outside chance of making the playoffs and this is Big Ben’s last home.

ballsofsteelandfury

Stranger things have happened, but I will be genuinely shocked if they lose tonight.

There will be MAJOR repercussions if they do. Like Tomlin might get fired.

Redshirt

I’m not sure about that. The Steelers aren’t that reactionary and everyone knows Roethlisberger started this season with only fumes in the tank. If Tomlin also served as GM, he probably would be in trouble for not having a successor at the ready, but since he didn’t draft Mason Rudolph, he doesn’t get complete blame for him being a bust.

However next season he will be on the hot seat. If they finish with a losing record, he’s definitely out.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s the other reason why I think they win this game. I don’t see them beating Baltimore in Baltimore next week. This is their best chance at avoiding a losing record.

ballsofsteelandfury

While he’s not the GM, he definitely is involved in the draft process and they would never draft anyone he doesn’t want. He is partially to blame for there not being an adequate backup.

Redshirt

In shocking news, the Washington Football Team organization continues to be the worst franchise ever.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/nfl-looking-into-washington-fedexfield-incident-after-eagles-fans-fall-through-railing-per-report/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I honestly thought that was going to be a bigger story, but it barely even made the news.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck Dan Snyder with a rusty dildo that has been extracted from Roger Goodell’s vena cava.

Fronkenshteen

Class move leaving a pic of HARF! off the banner.

Redshirt

His picture is already on bar and nightclub bathroom doors in all of the Greater Pittsburgh under a “WARNING” signage, isn’t that enough?

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt