We’re shouting out to the ladies on the site by throwing a different kind of Derby hat on the banner pic. <Sarcasm Alert!>There’s so much bad blood between Petro and Horatio already, I just hope things don’t get out of hand in the comment section today! Mods, keep your bannination fingers at the ready!
To The Game!
Niners/Cowboys:
-The 12-5 Dallas club led the league in scoring and yards gained but quite a few yakkers felt that those losses were letdowns and shouldn’t have happened. I mean, were they supposed to go undefeated? When this team is on there’s very little to stop them. Full stop.
-I guess we’ll find out when the season ends what the true extent of his injury (injuries?) is/are but the two-time rushing leader just doesn’t have the zip that we’ve seen in the past. It’s amazing to me that he hasn’t run for 100 since wk. 5. You’d think he’d get to triple digits just by falling over. But to talk solely about him is a disservice to Pollard, who chipped in with 700+. The ‘Boys running game is just fine.
-Jimmy’s Last Stand? What with the amount of draft capital expended to grab Trey Lance, he must be the starter in week 1 next year or John Lynch will be laughed out of/bound and dumped into the Bay. So what does Jimmy bring to the O? Competency. Boring, dependable competency. He can hand off with the best of them. I’m just a bit fearful of a Deebo/Lance/Mitchell backfield next year and will be fading the hell out of Kittle in fantasy.
-Speaking of, Deebo is the first of his kind (a South Carolina kid, no silly, a wr) to put together a season of 1,770 all-purpose yards in the way that he did. Much props to Shanny Jr. for increasing his touches by 5-9 per game. We’ll be seeing much more of this across the league for sure.
-Of all the games played this weekend this one is said to be the best for an upset, what with San Franny coming in on a roll. Stop The Narrative! What of the Cowboys winning 5 of their last 6 with the only loss being a three point shortfall to the Cards?
Tap away.
In the interests of making this a good game
Me: [puts small bottles on tips of fingers] “Cowboys. Come out to play-eee-ay. Cowboys. Come out to play-eee-ay!!!”
I might, only MIGHT, like the cows better if they switched their unis to open leather vests
That one guy has done all the situps!
Even the upside down ones!
No, this is NOT my year to be hopping on a cruise ship.
They are coming hard with the ads up here. Yes put me in a big box of germs! Let’s goooo!!!
I went on a holiday cruise with my mother and we both came through covid free! Will be going on an antarctica cruise in feb, but nawt too worries about the penguins
The Lady LemonJello and I have one scheduled for October – Med cruise to celebrate our 50th birthdays!
“So you’re both 25, then.”
-J. Epstein, doing his patented, ‘hopeful math’
Enjoy! I will henceforth refer to you as LemonJello The Greek
We’re excited! The last time I was in the Med, it was 1998 and I was a young Marine with the 24th MEU.
Accommodations, food and drink will all be much better this time around.
Young Sheldon splainin’ penalties wasn’t part of the bargain, Nick!
Wait are you guys watching the Nickelodeon stream of this game?
got the dual cast setup
You should tune in. Ferb is amazing as an announcer!
Would have made the many, many, many, MANY hours of Olympic curling (that were the only thing I could seem to catch of the Games) two years ago more engrossing.
Curling is way fun to do, only medium fun to watch. We should have a curling competition at the next DFOcon!
Less than two weeks until the Scotties (Canadian women’s championships)!
Am all for shopping from home but buying a car online just seems like a very bad idea.
Can’t be worse than shopping for a hooker online, and I hear that is very popular
Cant tell if they got that new hooker smell
–Robert Kraft
Gotta read the reviews!
(so, hookers actually do have online reviews. I met a lot of interesting people when I was playing a lot of poker, including a dude who was the equivalent of an elite Yelper but for sites dedicated to craigslist hookers)
In either case, wouldn’t a test drive be helpful before plunking down the $$$?
Gould medal all purpose kicker!
Parsons looks sad and has no hat.
So am going with Head owie and out for the game.
Young Sheldon Sighting!
[takes wild swing at TV]
I’m rooting for the 49ers
They seem Rocking!
I grew up in Dallas, so I’m not a Cowboys fan anymore. Because I grew up in Dallas, I hate the 49ers.
Soooooooooooooooooooo yea. Lemme just go drink some bleach.
It’s okay, there’s another game on afterwards so you can sorbet your soul
Sole sorbet? Sure, I am a gamer – A. Reid.
I know it’s down to practice, but impressed how quick off the line our Cowfans are to feeling doomed, y’all could teach our Pats fans a thing or two about seeing the writing on the wall early on!
The only hope Dallas has is Janeane Garofalo doing something stupid.
“Uh sure, ‘The Truth About Cats and Dogs 2: More Truth About Cats and Dogs’ sounds like a good project.”
Truthier Cats and Dogs.
Co-starring Pete Carroll
Glad I napped through the matinee! Lookit Our Jeanine!!!
You could drive a Magic School Bus through the Cowboys d-line right now.
Curriculum ideas for Mrs. frizzle!
OK, I have to run out and help an elderly neighbor who recently broke a hip and who is about to try to bring a heavy package in herself.
Tell Mike McCarthy not to do anything stupid while I’m gone.
Karma Faeries better be paying attention to this.
Tell her to go for the full hip replacement if she hasn’t already. Those things are great, my mom got one after a year of her hip not healing properly after she crashed a segway, and she was going up and down stairs three days after surgery!
That’s what she just had. She, however, is not going up and down stairs, or moving much at all.
Anyway what are we drinking? Other than Zymm? Respect that boxed wine/Mason jar combo. I’ve got some of Weldwerks’ endless IPA parade.
v-profen for now, Tussionex for later
Diet Coke, but I am totally baked.
A few sips of some 1000mg thc syrup. Don’t need alcohol today
Cali red wine and a bunch of edibles.
Nyquil makes me trip. Once I was convinced I could see the rods and the cones in my eyes.
Club soda with joint ashes
I’ve got that NyQuil going on, too. Pretty sure I have Covid.
I think Kelvin Benjamin could eat Travis Benjamin.
Mmm, refreshing sack!
I find lube takes care of that problem.
Wow, who could have known that the Cowboys would run up the middle on 2nd and 10 after an incomplete pass on 1st, other than anyone who has paid even the slightest bit of attention to the fact that they do that every goddamn time.
Why cant Dallas play Philly again?
I suspect they’ll be free to play each other next week.
Only one shit kicking a week sir.
Why would I underestimate a Shanahan running game? That’s so stupid. I’m so stupid.
I actually didn’t hate nepotism Shanny when he was the Redacted OC. I can positively think he’s okay as the Niners HC!
America’s ream.
Interesting strategy by Dallas; let the Niners O wear themselves out early in the game running over their D…let’s see how it plays out.
Well, that’s a less than ideal start.
“All the slime graphics are sponsored by the good folks at the Department of Public Works in Flint, Michigan! WOOO!!!”
-Nickelodeon Announcers
I’m drinking box wine from a mason jar, but it’s not actually hipstery since I can’t honestly say I have been hating the Cowboys since before it was cool. It has always been cool to hate the Cowboys.
If only there were something Randy Gregory could take to calm his nerves.
A teenage runaway locked in his basement would be a bit of a logistics problem, to be fair…
Boyz 2 49 Men!
SpongeBob reference right off the top-Well Done!
/do Ren and Stimpy next!
HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY
+1 Space Madness
The most exciting play in sports, the opening kick-off out of the back of the end zone.
I’m not rooting for anyone to get a horrific injury, but if it gonna happen, shouldn’t it happen on the game Nick is covering?
“…oh….wow…uh, don’t worry, slime can glue that back on…”
If it is Zeke we can teach the kiddies a valuable lesson about the consequences of being a shit!
might as well start drink now
Your persuasiveness has convinced me, too.
Romo’s PTSD is kicking in.
Jehovah,
Competitive playoff fitbaw plz
Amén
Janeane Garofalo gonna be a turnover machine.
Right now, Eli is pouting in his room that he is contractually obligated to only air on ESPN’s Monday Night Football broadcast and he can’t show up on Nickelodeon’s broadcast.
I bet on the Cowboys, sorry Horatio, Spur.
Aw, son of a bitch!
jerk
Stolen from someone named Matt Ryan on Tw****r:
Holy shit.
And then Jimmy G will become Trump’s VP?
BEST ANNOUNCE TEAM EVAR (on Nick of course)
Mm. Nice banner’ hat
/walks over her
I see we in pollitain’ moodszz Zzzzz
Everyone is stressing how the 49ers short passing game is going to take Diggs out of the game, so I’ll put the odds at 1:1 that Diggs gets caught cheating up early in the game and burned for a 68-yard TD, 62 of those yards coming after the catch.
This game is on Nick Jr. and now CeeDee is contractually obliged to change his name to CeeDee Lambchop
Shanahan hopes Lamb plays like he has a hand up his ass
Just switched over.
Aaaannnnnddddd just switched back. They’re somehow more obnoxious than Caillou.
Dammit, my Nick Jr just has Peppa Pig with Andy Reid plotting for bacon in the background
Zeke get an extra serving of lead paint chips for this game?
Time for the 49 Inch Nails show! I like them way better than Counting Cows
January And Everything After (which will be nothing for Da Boyz)
Bengals won a playoff game. 49ers/Cowboys Playoff Game is airing on CBS.
My God, it is the 1980s.
MOAR COCAINE FOR LT
God, I hope so. That was a GREAT decade for me.
^
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Hmm, to watch this on Nickelodeon or CBS….
Nick! Nick! Nick!
I need to roll a doob, be right back.
Folks!
Let do this Cowboy haters
I think I’m rooting for the 9ers because fuck the cowboys, but I don’t see Garafolo pulling out the win here.
I’d be a lot more excited if Deion came out of retirement to play for either team (or both)
“Jimmy’s pullout game is better than people give him credit for.” – Kiara Mia
From what I understand about her specialty, there’s really no need to pull out.
This is good reasoning for doing lots of stuff. I’m gonna have a hotdog because fuck the cowboys, or I’m gonna go get a flu shot because fuck the cowboys, or I’m gonna run for the Senate because fuck the cowboys
Damn you, Petronel!
/Just kidding, I’m just happy to get my name in the title.
ARRRRRRGGH! Have at ye!
/me too!
That hat probably gets you two free bowls of soup.
Georgia O’Keefe thinks that if you peer at it from just the right angle, it looks like a man in a boat.
“Nope, still can’t find it”
Here’s a visual aid
Wait… What was that book “three men in a boat” about again?
Multiple orgasms. Duh.