We’re shouting out to the ladies on the site by throwing a different kind of Derby hat on the banner pic. <Sarcasm Alert!>There’s so much bad blood between Petro and Horatio already, I just hope things don’t get out of hand in the comment section today! Mods, keep your bannination fingers at the ready!
To The Game!
Niners/Cowboys:
-The 12-5 Dallas club led the league in scoring and yards gained but quite a few yakkers felt that those losses were letdowns and shouldn’t have happened. I mean, were they supposed to go undefeated? When this team is on there’s very little to stop them. Full stop.
-I guess we’ll find out when the season ends what the true extent of his injury (injuries?) is/are but the two-time rushing leader just doesn’t have the zip that we’ve seen in the past. It’s amazing to me that he hasn’t run for 100 since wk. 5. You’d think he’d get to triple digits just by falling over. But to talk solely about him is a disservice to Pollard, who chipped in with 700+. The ‘Boys running game is just fine.
-Jimmy’s Last Stand? What with the amount of draft capital expended to grab Trey Lance, he must be the starter in week 1 next year or John Lynch will be laughed out of/bound and dumped into the Bay. So what does Jimmy bring to the O? Competency. Boring, dependable competency. He can hand off with the best of them. I’m just a bit fearful of a Deebo/Lance/Mitchell backfield next year and will be fading the hell out of Kittle in fantasy.
-Speaking of, Deebo is the first of his kind (a South Carolina kid, no silly, a wr) to put together a season of 1,770 all-purpose yards in the way that he did. Much props to Shanny Jr. for increasing his touches by 5-9 per game. We’ll be seeing much more of this across the league for sure.
-Of all the games played this weekend this one is said to be the best for an upset, what with San Franny coming in on a roll. Stop The Narrative! What of the Cowboys winning 5 of their last 6 with the only loss being a three point shortfall to the Cards?
Tap away.
Not too long, I don’t think.
I feel like the Cowboys were milking McCarthy’s reputation for cowardice to set up that fake.
That was perfect.
It’s my daughter’s default pizza order. It’s alright.
There are only FOUR acceptable pizza toppings. Pepperoni, Sausage, Chicken, Banana Peppers.
And of course, no goddamned cheese.
In what universe are you existing that you would think folks would go along with your “NO CHEESE!” mandate? smgdh…
in FARENESS, I am pretty goddamned high (as usual)
You’re baked but you expect me to believe you’d be picky if I put a veggie pizza in front of you?
I am ALWAYS picky, might as well be 7
He’s a pill poppin’ hippo
This post started so well, then just went straight down a chute into a dumpster fire of incorrectness.
You should have a shame pill.
That no cheese thing makes me think we need to have an intervention.
The pills I’m OK with, but no cheese on a pizza is a bridge too goddamn far.
Please please please let the Cowboys screw this up so badly they end up having to punt anyways.
…so they confused themselves so hard on the previous play…
Peak BlueBunny. Try some cutesy bullshit, get a delay of game.
I guaran-fucking-tee the Special Teams coach called that fake without McCarthy’s knowledge.
What the actual shit
Trickeration!
Pineapple on pizza is good. Ham, pineapple, and jalapenos is a great combination.
I also like anchovies, though I don’t think I’ve ever combined pineapple with them.
I don’t want to make fun of the young adult standing behind Jerry, but how can I not?
Every time he’s on the screen I bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood.
Well I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen Del Taco collaborate with the RNC for an ad.
I don’t hate it. I put a shit ton of hot pepper flakes on it.
Gumbygirl gets it.
That’s what Gumby tells me.
Apparently it involves a lot of “no, YOU’RE my favorite!”
He’s my favorite real person. Usually.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ejx-AgokceQ&ab_channel=johann1138
NVP voting is up
https://www.nflnickplay.com
Deeeeeeebo.
Ugh I forgot I picked DAK DAK DAK in one of my weird postseason fantasy things. DO SOMETHING, HAM!
Were all ready ready for some McCarthy magic
“Can I borrow that rabbit? Won’t take more than 20-23 minutes.”
-Anne Archer
Cowboys will have to play their “Giddy Up” O the rest of the way.
The annoying kid on the sidelines is still better than Tony Romo.
[misses wide open wr] ” I’m your dingleberry now.”
-Jimmy G
“NOW WE GOT ‘EM RIGHT WHERE WE WANT ‘EM! MY GOTTDAMM STARS WILL REALLY SHINE NOW. I CAN ALREADY TASTE OUR VICTORY (and those hookers and blow I ordered). YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWwwwww I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY!!!!!!”
I met him at the Vancouver Olympics at a USA hockey game. He is very small and the coloUr of a baseball glove. If he continues he will look like Cameron Diaz’s neighboUr in Something about Mary.
Magda?
Yep, he was that orange/burnt, in Feb.
“If you try to go toe to toe with Dallas, you have no chance, they’re too good up front…”
23-7 says different
They may have gone toe to instep
McCarthy gonna McCarthy
Jenny like Blue Bunny Ice Cream Sandwiches too?
Maybe don’t punt on 4th and 2?
Playing Devil’s advocate for a moment, (although I agree they should have gone for it there), what has the Dallas offense done today that would make McCarthy think they could get 2 yards there?
I believe I addressed this aspect of the Beav’s personality:
https://doorfliesopen.com/2021/12/22/i-watched-it-so-you-dont-have-to-starr-of-wonder/
oh yes, that was SO GOOD.
Evening, degenerates.
It is my extreme pleasure to announce, as attorney general of Patriots Nation, that we will be conducting a full-scale audit into the results of last night’s divisional round game against the Buffalo Bills. We have SUBSTANTIAL evidence that will reveal that not only were multiple Bills players flagrantly violating the rules and spirit of competition, but also that Sean McDermott and Josh Allen have tiny penises. As a result, within 24 hours, we have the utmost confidence that the good people of the National Football League will do the right thing and vacate the Buffalo win due to this massive fraud. We will not be denied!
“Need any help?”
Will Work For Shoe Polish
Which garden supply store will host your press conference?
Here comes your ride
Hang on, we’re just getting the translation for the folks in Quincy, MA…
“NAWWT FAYUH! NAWWT FAYUH!”
Man, this first Triple Wild Card slate…underwhelming to say the least.
Huzzah, hopefully they shattered Jerry’s phylactery hidden in the screen on the punt
Horcrux!
Football is a dumb sport.
Deebo does Dallas
oh, winner!
That’s Rocking
inorite???
Good show, dear sir! A fine adult production, but I always thought it could use an extra wide receiver!
Sufficient quantity of tight ends?
Blair witched, sorry!
And a few tight ends, know what I mean Balls?
DEEBO’D
Oh neat, that was super quick
And we’re done here.
Dak melting down
Pretty soon he’ll be just Da-Danubium
In fine Cow tradition!
I no longer think it’s an injury, I just think he’s taken a huge step back. His passes are 50-50 to be on target, he doesn’t even see open receivers, and his decision making just gets worse by the game.
He lit up WFT and Philly’s second string, but against good teams the second half+ of the year he’s just been bad.
Shitty O-line that either gives up a sack or takes a penalty doesn’t help any.
I saw the overall season passing numbers, and they didn’t compute with my eye test for sure.
GAH I actually just cheered for a 49ers INT.
Yes, good, come to the slightly less dark side
January FITBAW makes for some strange bedfellows, inshallah.
That’s Rocking
Cousin Larry is from my hometown!
Welp, now I’m a Qards fan Monday night. Because RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! ain’t beating MRSA Dreamboat in January.
Just stunned that a team led by Mike McCarthy is given to a plethora of lazy penalties.
Heh heh heh heh. Stupid Cowboys.
Dutch Schultz has come a long way from his 1920s gangland activities
A. Cooper: “Talk to me about the passing game.”
DAK: “It’s over your head.”
Ginger Hammer has a Black friend OMG!!!!
He’s about to have a black enemy…
Cmon, fake punt!
Lame
-Ryan Shazier
First punt midway through Q3, but you only have 16 FITBAW points?
I would like to the announcers to start referring to Kyle Juszczyk as Kyle Ricechex.
So… Do we think Jerral is still alive, or have the cows been doing a weekend at bernie’s thing?
I call Young Sheldon “George F. Will in September of 2001” because they’re both in bow ties, trying to explain how things went so very, very wrong.
And neither one can throw a baseball.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3QcVhyAaLnM
Bosa done in by friendly fire