Your Petronel/Horatio (Niners/Cowboys) Darby and Open Thread

We’re shouting out to the ladies on the site by throwing a different kind of Derby hat on the banner pic. <Sarcasm Alert!>There’s so much bad blood between Petro and Horatio already, I just hope things don’t get out of hand in the comment section today! Mods, keep your bannination fingers at the ready!

To The Game!

Niners/Cowboys:

-The 12-5 Dallas club led the league in scoring and yards gained but quite a few yakkers felt that those losses were letdowns and shouldn’t have happened. I mean, were they supposed to go undefeated? When this team is on there’s very little to stop them. Full stop.

-I guess we’ll find out when the season ends what the true extent of his injury (injuries?) is/are but the two-time rushing leader just doesn’t have the zip that we’ve seen in the past. It’s amazing to me that he hasn’t run for 100 since wk. 5. You’d think he’d get to triple digits just by falling over. But to talk solely about him is a disservice to Pollard, who chipped in with 700+. The ‘Boys running game is just fine.

-Jimmy’s Last Stand? What with the amount of draft capital expended to grab Trey Lance, he must be the starter in week 1 next year or John Lynch will be laughed out of/bound and dumped into the Bay. So what does Jimmy bring to the O? Competency. Boring, dependable competency. He can hand off with the best of them. I’m just a bit fearful of a Deebo/Lance/Mitchell backfield next year and will be fading the hell out of Kittle in fantasy.

-Speaking of, Deebo is the first of his kind (a South Carolina kid, no silly, a wr) to put together a season of 1,770 all-purpose yards in the way that he did. Much props to Shanny Jr. for increasing his touches by 5-9 per game. We’ll be seeing much more of this across the league for sure.

-Of all the games played this weekend this one is said to be the best for an upset, what with San Franny coming in on a roll. Stop The Narrative! What of the Cowboys winning 5 of their last 6 with the only loss being a three point shortfall to the Cards?

Tap away.

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Doktor Zymm

And of course chicago dude texts me about sexy time when I am trying to pay attention to this dramatic finish. Where were you during the shitty eagles game dude? Bullshit your boss wanted to have a holiday party/ fantasy football thing. Both of those things are way over

Gumbygirl

Girl, don’t quibble. Go get you some! It’s not like the next game is going to be a nailbiter.

Horatio Cornblower

Go get more inches the 49ers currently need to end this travesty.

LemonJello

Sounds like someone just volunteered for human trials in one of Dok’s labs.

Gatoraids

Cowboys losing making him hard?

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow. This is just a day of bad football. More to come!

Horatio Cornblower

Gee, sure hope this Cowboys team can somehow pull it out so I can watch them try to play Green Bay next week!

-Me, just absolutely chugging paint thinner

Gatoraids

Romo getting into frantic Charlie Kelly scenarios to extend the game

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Joe Burrow should become the spokesman for Kitten Mittens.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, they’re tying a record!

King Hippo

Gregory bet the Tomsulas ML?

Horatio Cornblower

He’s just high and thought the big fat guy was going to eat his Doritos.

The Maestro

So much for these so-called Cow Boys… looks like gender, and hope, has been officially abolished by a California organization yet again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game is terrible in every way

ThePirateSloth

Anytime the Cowboys lose is a great day.

Horatio Cornblower

You, sir, are a Philistine.

Doktor Zymm

This guy knows what’s up

ThePirateSloth

I certainly DO like being all up in there and then backing out of it

WCS

Capt. Blue Bunny will kick the field goal on 4th and goal from the two with :02 left to play.

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, JJ looks like shit.

Doktor Zymm

What else has been true for years?

Horatio Cornblower

Even by his standards, though. His right arm didn’t look like it had much movement.

Gumbygirl

He’s a good looking man! All the hookers say so. For an additional fee.

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
Doktor Zymm

It’s true! I read it in the reviews!

Petronel

Argh again

Mr. Ayo

Oh no, they’re punting! K. Shanahan has learned nothing about holding onto a lead in the playoffs.

rockingdog

Utttt Ohhhh 😬

Gumbygirl

Lamb got minced.

SonOfSpam

He ain’t done mutton today.

Doktor Zymm

Probably crying for some other, less fun reason, but still okay with cow tears

Spur

Just the dumbest team this Dallas group.

Horatio Cornblower

I agree, and I know from dumb decisions!

comment image

Mr. Ayo

BLEEEERGH!!!!

makeitsnowondem

Football’s great, huh?

Horatio Cornblower

Just the dumbest fucking team.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, don’t grab the guy blocking you by the helmet.

Gallimore: I am absolutely going to grab his helmet.

King Hippo

N-GCp being undisciplined? Well ah NEVAR!!!

Gatoraids

Great flag find

Gatoraids

Oops

NoseFlag.jpg
Petronel

Jesus fuck, this drive

Last edited 2 years ago by Petronel
Gumbygirl

Crazytown!

Doktor Zymm

INCOMPLETE BITCHES! (complete bitches cost extra)

Petronel

Argh

Petronel

NOOOOOPE whew

Horatio Cornblower

Defensive holding in a running play.

They’re literally trying to kill me.

Doktor Zymm

Could be, that would explain a lot actually

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, Dak made great decisions that drive! What was going on earlier?

comment image

Oh. That makes sense.

ThePirateSloth

1883 – Colonizer Propaganda at its finest.

Petronel

dak’d

Horatio Cornblower

HAMDOWN!
(water added)

Doktor Zymm

Goddammit Niners, now it’s close enough I can’t nap comfortably

Mr. Ayo

DED 54.

Any spare knee ligaments lying around?

Petronel

Guys, winning this one won’t do us much good if we have to field the practice squad next week.

Last edited 2 years ago by Petronel
Horatio Cornblower

Well, whoever plays the 49ers next week is definitely getting their 2nd-string defense.

King Hippo

they can live without Bosa, but NOT Fred Warner

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Spur

There’s the stupid play by Jeanie.

Brocky

There’s the Jimmy g we all know

Horatio Cornblower

That’s just the play Mike McCarthy needed to shave another 3 points off this lead!

King Hippo

oy vey, Jeanine

Doktor Zymm

Humbug

Brocky

Simmer down there tony

Horatio Cornblower

Damn, Tracy just busted out the monkey’s paw!

Horatio Cornblower

Well, at least I got a “UConn won the championship” mention. Beat that, Petronel!

/looks at scoreboard.

Ah, yes. Well.

Petronel

My school’s (DII) team went farther in the playoffs than anybody would have reasonably expected, which is a victory in itself 🙂

clint greasewood

I predict Good Pisan, Jimmy G-Man Garopplo signs for the the New York football Giants, only to stay on the disabled list only to come off to beat the Cowboys.