Request Line: Here Comes the Bride AAAAND OPEN THREAD

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current project of putting together a deepfake video of Vladimir Putin getting violently raped in a prison shower by a gang of Boboesque clowns.  The PRODUCER is seated at his desk, with a pen in hand.  He taps absently on his desk with the pen, then sets it down and begins toying with his wedding ring.   

DJ 3000: MOST HUMAN BEHAVIOR IS VERY CONFUSING TO ME BUT I MUST ADMIT THIS IS A STRETCH EVEN FOR ME TO COMPREHEND.  I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT ST. PATRICK’S DAY CARDS WERE EVEN A THING.

PRODUCER: I had to order it special.

DJ 3000: I MEAN IF SHE DIDN’T RESPOND TO THE VALENTINE’S DAY CARD, OR THE CHRISTMAS CARD, OR THE THANKSGIVING CARD…

PRODUCER: Yeah but St. Patrick’s day was kind of a special day for us.

DJ 3000: YOUR FIRST DATE?

PRODUCER: Huh? Oh, no, our first date was a few days after we met on New Year’s Eve.  St. Patrick’s Day was the first time we got blackout drunk together.

DJ 3000: HUH.

PRODUCER: So I thought maybe this would remind her of the better times.

DJ 3000: DON’T YOU THINK MAYBE IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON?

PRODUCER: Until the paperwork is signed, I’m not giving up hope.

DJ 3000: BUT YOU’RE THE ONE REFUSING TO SIGN IT.

PRODUCER: Yes, well, what are they going to do, sue me?

DJ 3000: ABOUT THAT…

PRODUCER: Oh for the love of…please don’t tell me you have more bad news.

DJ 3000: HER ATTORNEY LEFT ANOTHER MESSAGE.  HE SAYS IF YOU DON’T SIGN BY FRIDAY, THEY’LL HAVE TO POSTPONE THE CEREMONY.  AND IF THAT’S THE CASE, THEY’LL UP THEIR ALIMONY DEMANDS TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE DEPOSITS THAT ARE ABOUT TO GO UP IN SMOKE.

PRODUCER: Fucking hell.

DJ 3000: IT’S TIME TO LET HER GO, MAN.

PRODUCER: I really thought my marriage would survive the pandemic.

DJ 3000: YOU ONLY THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU BARRICATED YOURSELF INSIDE THE STUDIO AND DIDN’T TALK TO ANYONE OTHER THAN REQUEST LINE CALLERS FOR EIGHTEEN MONTHS.  I CAN’T IMAGINE WHY YOU THOUGHT ANYTHING WOULD BE THE SAME WHEN YOU FINALLY RETURNED HOME.

PRODUCER: [sighs]  All right.  Print ’em out.

DJ 3000: IT’S OKAY YOU CAN JUST DO IT VIA E-SIGN.

The PRODUCER moves over to DJ 3000’s main console.

DJ 3000: CLICK HERE.

The PRODUCER taps the touchscreen.

DJ 3000: …AND HERE.

The PRODUCER taps the touchscreen again.

DJ 3000: …AND FINALLY HERE.

PRODUCER: Hey, wait, this says I’m agreeing not to do anything to disrupt the wedding ceremony.

DJ 3000: YES IT’S NOT A STANDARD CLAUSE BUT THEY INSISTED UPON IT.

PRODUCER: Ha!  Doesn’t say anything about the reception, though! Do me a favor, old buddy? Get a hold of Jimmy and the Animal.  I’m gonna need to borrow their mobile rig.  And queue up the “our songs” playlist.  It’s time to take Request Line on the road!

Today’s theme is: Weddings.  We’re looking for songs that deal with the events themselves, but songs about making a lifetime commitment to someone are good too.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYb3r9UnK” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Last weeks’ puzzle song was “Sometimes” by James.  This week’s is pretty easy the over/under on how many songs before it’s requested is 4. 

 

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was this played for request line? I can’t see shit on mobile.

https://youtu.be/U3NJC18Oi04

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There is very little more enjoyable than sampling a bunch of great beers with friends whilst playing a board game.

BugEyedBoo

What are you playing?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ticket to Ride

BugEyedBoo

That game can get nasty with two players.

BugEyedBoo

Was playing boardgames on en.boardgamearena.com. They don’t have Ticket to Ride, but they have a lot of games.

With two players you want to cut off the other player’s routes, and stick them with their destination cards.

Dunstan

Had a couple of guys over tonight for a couple of games. We played Root and Ra

BugEyedBoo

Root and Ra are both awesome. I need to get Root out next time I game with my brother and nephews.

I was playing Railways of the World, Terraforming Mars, Terra Mystica, and Stone Age online this evening.

Dunstan

I own TM but haven’t played the others. I have a BGA account but don’t use it much.

BugEyedBoo

I didn’t use my account much either, but some friends dragged me into it for asynch play. I have a few games going simultaneously.

litre_cola
litre_cola

This is in my Sunday post but it is a great tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0BUWuH3pPk

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Howdy. We be drinking.

Sharkbait

Damn right.

Mr. Ayo

Damn skippy.

Hello potato juice!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We’re plowing through some good Colorado and Florida beer. CT and MA options from Horatio to star tomorrow.

litre_cola

I am drinkin Apple Pie moonshine that Balls sent me. it is so sweet that it cuts any booze in it.

yeah right

Live right down the 110 and I never got no juice.

Don’t that beat all?

yeah right

Damn Skippy.

Long ass week for some reason but I’m giving it a proper fare-the-well.

Sharkbait

I want to go on one of those cooking reality shows, and when they ask what I’d do with the prize money, tell them a 4 day coke and gambling binge in Vegas.

yeah right

Half of them would ask for a place and time.

Brick Meathook

I was in my secret lab this morning experimenting with my time machine and this is what happened. This photo is completely unretouched. Also, my feet are now hooves but I can run pretty fast.

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Mr. Ayo

You’re future Ron Swanson?!?

Brick Meathook

I tried to fix myself and goddam this ain’t right. At least the hooves are gone and I got my feet back. It must be a fucked up voltage regulator.

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Mr. Ayo

Mind blown.

ballsofsteelandfury

Mine too considering I’ve met Brick and that kid looks A LOT like him…

Brick Meathook

It’s the lipstick and the frosted hair.

ballsofsteelandfury

Whatever you’re doing, that’s an amazing effect!

Brick Meathook

I’m getting ready to put on my gown for the choreographers ball tonight. I’m going as Catherine the Great.

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Brick Meathook

Life ain’t been kind . . .

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Mr. Ayo

It’s amazing how the eyes stay the same so we know it’s still you.

And the sunglasses of course.

ballsofsteelandfury

And the lipstick

Brick Meathook

. . . and the coat and the shirt and the phone and the wall . . .

Brick Meathook

Here’s with the “douchebag filter” applied:

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Last edited 2 years ago by Brick Meathook
ballsofsteelandfury

I love the double glasses!

Brick Meathook

“Come down to Mattress Warehouse! My prices will not be beat!”

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yeah right

I saw this dude at Ralph’s in El Segundo!

Gumbygirl

It’s all the horse fucking. That will really age a gal!

Brick Meathook

“You know what the problem is? Negroes.”

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ballsofsteelandfury

😂 🤣

Gumbygirl

Where did the lipstick come from?

Mr. Ayo

Probably Sephora

Gumbygirl

It’s a good color on Brick.

scotchnaut

/Really enjoying this Coach K sendoff

Some Guy: “He amassed a whole bunch of wins.”

Other Guy: “He sure did win a bunch of games.”

Some Guy: “He sent a bunch of players to the NBA.”

Other Guy: “He sure did.”

Some Guy: “He changed the game.”

Other Guy: “Really? How?”

Some Guy: “Because he won a bunch of games and sent some players to the NBA. Duh.”

Other Guy: “Can’t disagree with that.”

Dunstan

It’s a heartwarming song about a wedding that… uh, is crashed by the bride’s drunken ex, who takes the groom’s champagne and starts singing about how he has a lot of low life friends. (And yet I like it. I cannot defend it, but there it is.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w8wcmZQ-pc

scotchnaut

“I like it. I cannot defend it, but there it is.”

-NATO, talking about The Ukraine

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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ballsofsteelandfury

I wonder if she’s also more than a handful…

Mr. Ayo

No doubt about it.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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King Hippo

This be very, very lovely

Mr. Ayo

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ballsofsteelandfury

Balls Paradise

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s tremendous.

Mr. Ayo

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ballsofsteelandfury

That reminds me of Leslie Nielsen.

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
2Pack

Nice beaver

Mr. Ayo

Pretty sure I’d take the car over this beautiful lady. But I don’t know the personality of either.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Cold and bitchy.

I’m speaking of the car, of course.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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King Hippo

SHOULDERS MAGNIFICO!!

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

Still not sure which one I want more.

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ballsofsteelandfury

The car has more curves.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

Finally, two internet dad prohibited ladies.

h
ttps://64.media.tumblr.com/a2b4e69c27fc92684b2472b397b7f4ff/tumblr_oz321kIsFt1sy9x59o1_1280.jpg

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ballsofsteelandfury

I know which one is my favourite…

Mr. Ayo

Is it me?!?!

I mean after the first one. And the second one.

ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t tell the others!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well that’s a future balls pic o the week.

scotchnaut

A really serious medical thing happened to me on Monday because I ignored a number of symptoms for 2+ months. If something is wonky health-wise, get to a doctor/hospital as soon as you can. Don’t be stupid like me.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hope everything will be ok!

SonOfSpam

Great advice, and get better.

Gumbygirl

You take care of yourself, and remember the moratorium on death. It’s a hefty fine, and we’ll talk shit on you behind your back.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s how you know ghosts don’t exist. If tWBS heard all the shit we’ve talked about him, he’d haunt us for sure.

King Hippo

I woud certainly be stupid like you (I am all like “meh, if I die I die”) but that’s the Spirit Animal taking again!

/also, our NO DYING rule is quite clear

borisnow
ballsofsteelandfury

Sorry everyone! I was SWAMPED at work and couldn’t even Karen Carpenter out a Sexy Friday for you.

Let’s keep the music going while you tell me your weekend plans.

Mr. Ayo

My weekend plans start with making this open thread more sexy.

ballsofsteelandfury

You are doing The Lord’s Work!

King Hippo

Perhaps you would like to join Most Glorious Politburo?

2Pack

Thanks Sir!

scotchnaut

So Obvious! Nice get.

DJ TAJ
King Hippo

I trust this Imaginary Buddy-Guy, he’s a DJ!

scotchnaut

True Story Time:

/My first high school girlfriend goes to see Rick Springfield in Sudbury, Ontario

Me: [the next day] “How was the concert?”

Her: “HIS PANTS WERE SO TIGHT!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGQwRcd87-U&ab_channel=RickSpringfieldVEVO

Gumbygirl

I used to watch him on General Hospital, he was cute as a bug!

SonOfSpam
DJ TAJ

So good, should just stop here.

SonOfSpam

Most songs about Peggy Sue? Two, by Buddy Holly. He wins by two.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgA3WUFPiQk&ab_channel=NickW

SonOfSpam

Worth a watch because Kate’s a weird artsy chick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ymxgS4XHRA&ab_channel=Symphonyofflowers

Gumbygirl

I love her.

scotchnaut

Songs that explicitly reference divorce, hmmm. Let me think… How about D-I-V-O-R-C-E?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=912DKxD0H1U&ab_channel=TammyWynettemusic

scotchnaut

Did I mention that I listened to “Tammy Wynette’s Greatest Hits” on a continual loop for a entire long weekend when I was a kid?

“I don’t wanna play house,
It makes my mommy cry.
Cause when she played house
My Daddy said ‘Goodbye'”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCc9tJlRUZ4&ab_channel=TammyWynetteVEVO

jjfozz

Not a wedding song per se, but sometimes it feels like it describes most marriages. (Mine included)

https://youtu.be/l482T0yNkeo

borisnow

this is hilarious

scotchnaut

Any Request Line that includes Nick Lowe is an enhanced Request Line

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn1CXbf2xF8&ab_channel=YepRocRecords

jjfozz

Holy christ, that is some horrible dancing. They look like test subjects for nerve gas.

scotchnaut

The more I listen to prime Beach Boys the more I like them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h53Cnpb5hsM&ab_channel=KatyJones

King Hippo

I always found it interesting how mutually into one another this lot and the Manson Family were.

Gumbygirl

I saw them in like 76? One of those big stadium extravaganzas. They were with Peter Frampton and Gary Weaver. They really put on a great show. Everybody was dancing.

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
King Hippo

The Divorcing Zoey Deschanel Anthem!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTbVIfqeDq0

King Hippo

(may have misunderestimated the instructions, in post-nap fugue state)

scotchnaut

“Road To Nowhere” immediately popped into my mind.

/doesn’t reference divorce tho

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
Gumbygirl

Not a song, but mawage!
https://youtu.be/3odMTPuzLwY

Gumbygirl
2Pack
SonOfSpam

Dammit, shoulda been my first choice, especially with this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8t5cOjlEPU&ab_channel=ExactlyRight

2Pack

The marriage is implied…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpDefS3C83k

SonOfSpam

Here’s a good song but only if you’re named Archie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAn3JdtSrnY&ab_channel=AlvvaysA

SonOfSpam

Good song for if you’re willing to walk, say, hundreds of miles to get hitched

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEpmUUEkrKM&ab_channel=Dig%21

Last edited 2 years ago by SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Instead of the My Fair Lady song, let’s post a more swingin version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnwpSXtOP78&ab_channel=DennisTschirner%7CVocalist

ArmedandHammered

About leaving someone at the alter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjy6vuvkfZM

yeah right

I was watching an old Bourdain episode about the Philippines and apparently EVERY Filipino cover band ever has to play a cover of this song.