INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time. There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current project of putting together a deepfake video of Vladimir Putin getting violently raped in a prison shower by a gang of Boboesque clowns. The PRODUCER is seated at his desk, with a pen in hand. He taps absently on his desk with the pen, then sets it down and begins toying with his wedding ring.
DJ 3000: MOST HUMAN BEHAVIOR IS VERY CONFUSING TO ME BUT I MUST ADMIT THIS IS A STRETCH EVEN FOR ME TO COMPREHEND. I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT ST. PATRICK’S DAY CARDS WERE EVEN A THING.
PRODUCER: I had to order it special.
DJ 3000: I MEAN IF SHE DIDN’T RESPOND TO THE VALENTINE’S DAY CARD, OR THE CHRISTMAS CARD, OR THE THANKSGIVING CARD…
PRODUCER: Yeah but St. Patrick’s day was kind of a special day for us.
DJ 3000: YOUR FIRST DATE?
PRODUCER: Huh? Oh, no, our first date was a few days after we met on New Year’s Eve. St. Patrick’s Day was the first time we got blackout drunk together.
DJ 3000: HUH.
PRODUCER: So I thought maybe this would remind her of the better times.
DJ 3000: DON’T YOU THINK MAYBE IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON?
PRODUCER: Until the paperwork is signed, I’m not giving up hope.
DJ 3000: BUT YOU’RE THE ONE REFUSING TO SIGN IT.
PRODUCER: Yes, well, what are they going to do, sue me?
DJ 3000: ABOUT THAT…
PRODUCER: Oh for the love of…please don’t tell me you have more bad news.
DJ 3000: HER ATTORNEY LEFT ANOTHER MESSAGE. HE SAYS IF YOU DON’T SIGN BY FRIDAY, THEY’LL HAVE TO POSTPONE THE CEREMONY. AND IF THAT’S THE CASE, THEY’LL UP THEIR ALIMONY DEMANDS TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE DEPOSITS THAT ARE ABOUT TO GO UP IN SMOKE.
PRODUCER: Fucking hell.
DJ 3000: IT’S TIME TO LET HER GO, MAN.
PRODUCER: I really thought my marriage would survive the pandemic.
DJ 3000: YOU ONLY THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU BARRICATED YOURSELF INSIDE THE STUDIO AND DIDN’T TALK TO ANYONE OTHER THAN REQUEST LINE CALLERS FOR EIGHTEEN MONTHS. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHY YOU THOUGHT ANYTHING WOULD BE THE SAME WHEN YOU FINALLY RETURNED HOME.
PRODUCER: [sighs] All right. Print ’em out.
DJ 3000: IT’S OKAY YOU CAN JUST DO IT VIA E-SIGN.
The PRODUCER moves over to DJ 3000’s main console.
DJ 3000: CLICK HERE.
The PRODUCER taps the touchscreen.
DJ 3000: …AND HERE.
The PRODUCER taps the touchscreen again.
DJ 3000: …AND FINALLY HERE.
PRODUCER: Hey, wait, this says I’m agreeing not to do anything to disrupt the wedding ceremony.
DJ 3000: YES IT’S NOT A STANDARD CLAUSE BUT THEY INSISTED UPON IT.
PRODUCER: Ha! Doesn’t say anything about the reception, though! Do me a favor, old buddy? Get a hold of Jimmy and the Animal. I’m gonna need to borrow their mobile rig. And queue up the “our songs” playlist. It’s time to take Request Line on the road!
Today’s theme is: Weddings. We’re looking for songs that deal with the events themselves, but songs about making a lifetime commitment to someone are good too. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYb3r9UnK” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Last weeks’ puzzle song was “Sometimes” by James. This week’s is pretty easy the over/under on how many songs before it’s requested is 4.
Was this played for request line? I can’t see shit on mobile.
https://youtu.be/U3NJC18Oi04
There is very little more enjoyable than sampling a bunch of great beers with friends whilst playing a board game.
What are you playing?
Ticket to Ride
That game can get nasty with two players.
Was playing boardgames on en.boardgamearena.com. They don’t have Ticket to Ride, but they have a lot of games.
With two players you want to cut off the other player’s routes, and stick them with their destination cards.
Had a couple of guys over tonight for a couple of games. We played Root and Ra
Root and Ra are both awesome. I need to get Root out next time I game with my brother and nephews.
I was playing Railways of the World, Terraforming Mars, Terra Mystica, and Stone Age online this evening.
I own TM but haven’t played the others. I have a BGA account but don’t use it much.
I didn’t use my account much either, but some friends dragged me into it for asynch play. I have a few games going simultaneously.
Request line? Slick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk7CDFEDD-g
This is in my Sunday post but it is a great tune.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0BUWuH3pPk
Howdy. We be drinking.
Damn right.
Damn skippy.
Hello potato juice!
We’re plowing through some good Colorado and Florida beer. CT and MA options from Horatio to star tomorrow.
I am drinkin Apple Pie moonshine that Balls sent me. it is so sweet that it cuts any booze in it.
Live right down the 110 and I never got no juice.
Don’t that beat all?
Damn Skippy.
Long ass week for some reason but I’m giving it a proper fare-the-well.
I love how reality show contestants are all “I own my mistake…” and think that saying it absolves them of having to face any actual consequences for their actions.
I want to go on one of those cooking reality shows, and when they ask what I’d do with the prize money, tell them a 4 day coke and gambling binge in Vegas.
Many chefs party hard. Some of the judges would probably just smile and nod and say “yep, been there”.
Half of them would ask for a place and time.
I was in my secret lab this morning experimenting with my time machine and this is what happened. This photo is completely unretouched. Also, my feet are now hooves but I can run pretty fast.
You’re future Ron Swanson?!?
I tried to fix myself and goddam this ain’t right. At least the hooves are gone and I got my feet back. It must be a fucked up voltage regulator.
Mind blown.
Mine too considering I’ve met Brick and that kid looks A LOT like him…
It’s the lipstick and the frosted hair.
Whatever you’re doing, that’s an amazing effect!
I’m getting ready to put on my gown for the choreographers ball tonight. I’m going as Catherine the Great.
Life ain’t been kind . . .
It’s amazing how the eyes stay the same so we know it’s still you.
And the sunglasses of course.
And the lipstick
. . . and the coat and the shirt and the phone and the wall . . .
Here’s with the “douchebag filter” applied:
I love the double glasses!
“Come down to Mattress Warehouse! My prices will not be beat!”
I saw this dude at Ralph’s in El Segundo!
It’s all the horse fucking. That will really age a gal!
“You know what the problem is? Negroes.”
😂 🤣
I assumed it was some kind of fancy Hollywood age filter.
Where did the lipstick come from?
Probably Sephora
It’s a good color on Brick.
/Really enjoying this Coach K sendoff
Some Guy: “He amassed a whole bunch of wins.”
Other Guy: “He sure did win a bunch of games.”
Some Guy: “He sent a bunch of players to the NBA.”
Other Guy: “He sure did.”
Some Guy: “He changed the game.”
Other Guy: “Really? How?”
Some Guy: “Because he won a bunch of games and sent some players to the NBA. Duh.”
Other Guy: “Can’t disagree with that.”
It’s a heartwarming song about a wedding that… uh, is crashed by the bride’s drunken ex, who takes the groom’s champagne and starts singing about how he has a lot of low life friends. (And yet I like it. I cannot defend it, but there it is.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w8wcmZQ-pc
“I like it. I cannot defend it, but there it is.”
-NATO, talking about The Ukraine
I wonder if she’s also more than a handful…
No doubt about it.
This be very, very lovely
Balls Paradise
That’s tremendous.
That reminds me of Leslie Nielsen.
Nice beaver
Pretty sure I’d take the car over this beautiful lady. But I don’t know the personality of either.
Cold and bitchy.
I’m speaking of the car, of course.
SHOULDERS MAGNIFICO!!
Still not sure which one I want more.
The car has more curves.
Finally, two internet dad prohibited ladies.
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I know which one is my favourite…
Is it me?!?!
I mean after the first one. And the second one.
Don’t tell the others!
Well that’s a future balls pic o the week.
A really serious medical thing happened to me on Monday because I ignored a number of symptoms for 2+ months. If something is wonky health-wise, get to a doctor/hospital as soon as you can. Don’t be stupid like me.
Hope everything will be ok!
Something similar happened to a friend’s ex-boyfriend. He emerged from the ICU with an identical attitude.
Great advice, and get better.
You take care of yourself, and remember the moratorium on death. It’s a hefty fine, and we’ll talk shit on you behind your back.
That’s how you know ghosts don’t exist. If tWBS heard all the shit we’ve talked about him, he’d haunt us for sure.
I woud certainly be stupid like you (I am all like “meh, if I die I die”) but that’s the Spirit Animal taking again!
/also, our NO DYING rule is quite clear
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY
Sorry everyone! I was SWAMPED at work and couldn’t even Karen Carpenter out a Sexy Friday for you.
Let’s keep the music going while you tell me your weekend plans.
My weekend plans start with making this open thread more sexy.
You are doing The Lord’s Work!
Perhaps you would like to join Most Glorious Politburo?
Thanks Sir!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1d9faT-p5A
So Obvious! Nice get.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDIvIb06abI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZPEUyiNcjA
Jack talks about marriage
I trust this Imaginary Buddy-Guy, he’s a DJ!
TAJ!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5O-Zw90l_o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usqQ0rl4CMs
True Story Time:
/My first high school girlfriend goes to see Rick Springfield in Sudbury, Ontario
Me: [the next day] “How was the concert?”
Her: “HIS PANTS WERE SO TIGHT!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGQwRcd87-U&ab_channel=RickSpringfieldVEVO
I used to watch him on General Hospital, he was cute as a bug!
(pours one out for Seamus)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pex4zBQ965Q&ab_channel=DCRANGERFAN
So good, should just stop here.
Most songs about Peggy Sue? Two, by Buddy Holly. He wins by two.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgA3WUFPiQk&ab_channel=NickW
Worth a watch because Kate’s a weird artsy chick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ymxgS4XHRA&ab_channel=Symphonyofflowers
I love her.
Songs that explicitly reference divorce, hmmm. Let me think… How about D-I-V-O-R-C-E?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=912DKxD0H1U&ab_channel=TammyWynettemusic
Did I mention that I listened to “Tammy Wynette’s Greatest Hits” on a continual loop for a entire long weekend when I was a kid?
“I don’t wanna play house,
It makes my mommy cry.
Cause when she played house
My Daddy said ‘Goodbye'”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCc9tJlRUZ4&ab_channel=TammyWynetteVEVO
Not a wedding song per se, but sometimes it feels like it describes most marriages. (Mine included)
https://youtu.be/l482T0yNkeo
this is hilarious
Any Request Line that includes Nick Lowe is an enhanced Request Line
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn1CXbf2xF8&ab_channel=YepRocRecords
Holy christ, that is some horrible dancing. They look like test subjects for nerve gas.
The more I listen to prime Beach Boys the more I like them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h53Cnpb5hsM&ab_channel=KatyJones
I always found it interesting how mutually into one another this lot and the Manson Family were.
I saw them in like 76? One of those big stadium extravaganzas. They were with Peter Frampton and Gary Weaver. They really put on a great show. Everybody was dancing.
The Divorcing Zoey Deschanel Anthem!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTbVIfqeDq0
(may have misunderestimated the instructions, in post-nap fugue state)
Oh! I should have included songs that specifically mention divorce as fair game, too.
“Road To Nowhere” immediately popped into my mind.
/doesn’t reference divorce tho
Words you say during a wedding?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tW3HN_pvbE4&ab_channel=AbbaVEVO
Good song even if they hate Amurrika.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dM65uGRxUmI&ab_channel=dixiechicksVEVO
Not a song, but mawage!
https://youtu.be/3odMTPuzLwY
https://youtu.be/Ux7HgO9QhAc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3z-aureKFE
Dammit, shoulda been my first choice, especially with this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8t5cOjlEPU&ab_channel=ExactlyRight
The marriage is implied…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpDefS3C83k
Here’s a good song but only if you’re named Archie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAn3JdtSrnY&ab_channel=AlvvaysA
Good song for if you’re willing to walk, say, hundreds of miles to get hitched
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEpmUUEkrKM&ab_channel=Dig%21
Instead of the My Fair Lady song, let’s post a more swingin version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnwpSXtOP78&ab_channel=DennisTschirner%7CVocalist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cD85l48QOg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYZfFKDsXHk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izyLG_1OCWo
MARRY ME DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIXJR4U2isU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw1VDiSjQlc
About leaving someone at the alter:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjy6vuvkfZM
HAH! DOUBLE SHOTS THAT CROSSED IN THE NIGHT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTq7w8P6_2I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBiaecwCcEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdvvtg2pgBI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuO9yydSxbw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DWP6a25iJI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwCRSMrPmpU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAZQaYKZMTI
I hope everybody took the under!
I was watching an old Bourdain episode about the Philippines and apparently EVERY Filipino cover band ever has to play a cover of this song.