No Prem matches today. Fookin’ seriously – NONE. There is a Cup final at Wembley, but I ain’t got no time for that.
You do get a tasty Championship promotion playoff, with Team Knifey hosting the Robins Hood (10:00, ESPN+). These always fascinate me, when a neutral. Though I think it would be much neater for Foe-rest to win promotion. Historically relevant club, been on hard times of late.
I mean, you could also make a case for Luton, but they were really backfooted in the home leg of their tie with Huddersfield (yesterday, a 1-1 draw). I don’t see it happening for them, and Huddersfield will be boring chum, should they be promoted (like they were before they went down a few years ago).
There is also at least SOME drama in the last round of Kraut footy. Our pals at Comintern FC could rise to 5th, and get “Europa proper” instead of Conference League. They’d need a home win over confirmed ded fuckin’ last Bochum, paired with Freiburg dropping points away to the Baby Aspirin. Ordinarily, you’d like Bayer there – but they are cemented in 3rd, no way to improve or worsen. Could phone it in.
Stuttgart are at home to Koln, needing a win and a Hertha loss (at Dortmund, fixed in 2nd position), to swap 16th for 15th. 15th is safe, 16th gets that terrifying playoff with a Bundesliga 2 side to fight over the last promotion/relegation slot. Stuttgart could also fall to 17th (automatic relegation) if they really get humped and Bielefeld hump the Energy Drinks. So, all that goes on at 9:30, also ESPN+.
Frogger takes over at 3p, in their penultimate round. I think BeIn has the rights to that, and usually only show PSG. Shit network, that. I won’t go into fine detail, other than to remind you that OGC Nice are still on track for 69 points, if they win out.
Sunday is FOAR HippoTerror. At least I will know what Slightly-Less-But-Still-Disappointing Everton need when they kickoff (home to Beesus, 11:30, USA). Because the relegation zone action is staggered. White Lives Matter away to Spurs (7:00, USA), followed by new relegation favoUrite Leeds hosting Brighton (9:00, Peacock). Still too much uncertainty to feel even a bit safe. Things can change – and have changed – on a dime, so worry seems prudent.
tl;dr – read a book, I guess.
When Larry Bird’s 80’s Celtics teams are mentioned, one year tends to get glossed over-it’s the 82/83 season. Why? They were swept 4-0 in the Eastern Conference semifinals by the Milwaukee Bucks, courtesy of Don Nelson, Marques Johnson and Sidney Moncrief.
It was so fucking glorious-every pundit at the time had Boston steamrolling their way to the EC Finals.
Apollo:
Apollo:
James Brown pronounced ‘living’ wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9H8JKFMb7U&ab_channel=PlayNowPlayL8tr
In much-anticipated news, OGC Nice lead OSC Lille (no idea what the abbreviations stand for) 1-nil. That would put them at 66 points, with just one match to play.
The Sports Doldrums suck balls.
chuh chuh Spirit Animal
The open thread will go live at 4p EST, since (i) that’s when the ice footy nonsense starts (I think); and (ii) I just LOVE breaking rules in very inconseqential ways.
You should consider the MLB app. I’m watching your team that shall remain nameless playing the Gigantes and it’s a good ballgame. Looks hot as fuck in St. Louis though.
The Loo in the summer is sure ’nuff Swampass Country
Woot! Bathurst 12 hour and THREE (3) ice ball game 7s! Time to load up on the caffeine and vodka!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0S5qSBSx0I
I was going to watch Eurovision but it’s not easily found on any streaming service we get, so looks like it’s a booky-wook for me instead.
Dammit. Should have recorded this and fast forwarded to the penos.
Time Flies By Update: David Byrne turns 70 today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE1Ro_wPGIU&ab_channel=AbstractJesus
Spent two hours this morning cleaning out two fridges and the rather large pantry that we have. I was on the hunt for expired products. Five large cardboard boxes later the winner was…chili sauce and some jello packets that gave up the ghost in April of 2015(!).
Salad dressing is my nemesis.
You must be the weirdest superhero ever.
Salad Boy vs Ranch Man!
Jimmy Garappolo vs. Carson Wentz?
Last month, found Egg Beaters (huh huh heh heh) in the employee fridge that had a “best by” date of January 2021.
Were they peeps yet?
Crushed animal bones never expire. Or go out of style.
“animal”
Been doing the same thing. Nothing that old tho
There’s also food in my desk at work that’s at least 2 years old now. Not sure when I’ll be in the office to toss it.
Gumby hired our third lawn guy. Let’s see if he ever shows up again!
Man, you two must be rolling in it if you have *three* lawns!
I know somebody that’s super jealous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CA8xTGP_M8g&ab_channel=wileyschmitt
Give them a show when they show up.
I’ll give them a fucking parade, but I am confident we’ll never see this guy again.
Next stop the dudes outside home depot?
Better than cutting it myself! There is an electric mower in the garage, but we are skeered of it. If you saw how pitifully small the grass portion of our yard is, you would be both ashamed of us, and embarrassed for us. Most of it is either gravel or planter beds with mulch.
I have a little push mower I’d be happy to part with, if we ever happen to meet in person.
Got a mower, need a pusher! Maybe this third guy is the charm. He seemed nice, we shall see.
“Hell, I’ve got a dozen pushers I can connect you with!” – Jim Irsay
Really hoping today is a nap day
Pissing down rain here, nap shall be mandatory.
Send some up here. Hasn’t rained in a week, and people are starting to worry about their lawns.
(every western DFOer dies laughing)
I’ve started tossing out the old dish water onto the garden out front. It’s the only water it gets.
So they’re doing a disaster preparedness drill in a neighborhood not too far away from me. Great. Only problem is that they a) sent the alert to the entire city of Los Angeles and b) didn’t specify that it was a fucking drill. Nice work.
Holy cats, I had a very long and detailed nightmare about trying to find shelter during a nuclear holocaust last night. That drill would have killed me ded.
It wasn’t just city. I got it too.
With the message about 5 minutes later saying it was only a drill.
Some people got woken up twice for that bullshit!
I mean if you lived in the neighborhood you probably were in the car on your way to the rally point before the second text came out.
They didn’t send me shit. Guess they’re reasoning is “Fuck em, it’s Pedro.”
ah, what the 2020s have taught us. I sneezed twice, and instead of goddamned pollen and cat dander I immediately was like oh shit, I’m gonna die.
I mean, you’re not wrong.
Found a funny;
fried beans:
inventor of refried beans: again.
Toilet: *sigh* Again.
LOL
This FA Cup is sooooo british
Pulisic is getting the start!!
That’s Rocking!
Go Chelski! ⚽️
Must be said, Steve Cooper (Robins Hood manager) looks like someone you’d see masturbating at the public library.
Cracker at Brammall Lane, sooooo much better than the other semifinal tie.
Ooo-nion blow a 2-goal lead, but get a winner at the death and claim FIFTH for the Proletariat.
Stuttgart have done it, rescued safety with a stoppage time winner, combined with an epic Hertha choke jerb.
Ladies making toilet for everyone, good dramatics Krauts!!
So we’re in a 2 game playoff with Cosenza to see who stays in Series B next season, and who gets thrown down into C. We won 1-0 the other night. Play again on Friday. A win or a tie and we live to derp another day. The crowd at Fausto’s asks for your prayers.
As do these ladies
We all read that Cosenza ultras booky-book, but how does one say no to those fit birds?
That book was superb. Will read again
What is the title, I want to check it out.
https://www.amazon.com/Ultra-Tobias-Jones/dp/1786697378/ref=asc_df_1786697378/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509360428472&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3817363760644444114&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1021041&hvtargid=pla-922000586549&psc=1
Thanks. Last time you guys mentioned this I was not paying close attention. Will address this time.
It’s a good read
True. And you owe me a Coke.
Much like Gumbygirl’s next lawn guy, it’ll be a Mexican.
You simply can’t. The lady in green would crush you.
She must break you.
First blood, to NOT Knifey!!
The Sheriff will be pleased
“Man, I didn’t see nothin’,”
— Ray L., substitute ref
I watched ‘Lords of Metal’ on the Netflix last night. Surprised how much I liked it. Pretty funny, and heavy metal cello is now something I need more of.
Stuttgart ARE winning, but so are Hertha. This has been your Kraut footy update, bet you did Na-zi that coming!
Mitch McConnell went to Ukraine to support them?!
Aw, does this mean I have to root for Putin now?
Watch what happens to that “support” if the midterms go his way. Bastard.
This baby formula thing is not rocking
And specifically
https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/1525293978022821896?t=Q7_sWBCRddiHo1btjSTnvQ&s=19
Don’t forget that Abbot apparently spent a ton of money buying back stock rather than, you know, on cleaning supplies.
We had some fun this week watching Inter beat Juventus for the Copa. It was on over the air too not the usual pay per view. Free pure joy.
I am very happy that she is happy!
/also fuck Juve
Not after three minutes with me!
(well over 2 minutes of which is tearful and profuse apologizing)
“If history has told us anything Hippo, cozying up to the Germans is a bad idea.”
-Diana and Unity Mitford
-Edward VIII of England
Austro-Hungarian Empire
I don’t know, let’s see what we can do here.
–Neville C.