Ghosts in the Machine Saturday Morning Thread

No Prem matches today.  Fookin’ seriously – NONE.  There is a Cup final at Wembley, but I ain’t got no time for that.

You do get a tasty Championship promotion playoff, with Team Knifey hosting the Robins Hood (10:00, ESPN+).  These always fascinate me, when a neutral.  Though I think it would be much neater for Foe-rest to win promotion.  Historically relevant club, been on hard times of late.

I mean, you could also make a case for Luton, but they were really backfooted in the home leg of their tie with Huddersfield (yesterday, a 1-1 draw).  I don’t see it happening for them, and Huddersfield will be boring chum, should they be promoted (like they were before they went down a few years ago).

There is also at least SOME drama in the last round of Kraut footy.  Our pals at Comintern FC could rise to 5th, and get “Europa proper” instead of Conference League.  They’d need a home win over confirmed ded fuckin’ last Bochum, paired with Freiburg dropping points away to the Baby Aspirin.  Ordinarily, you’d like Bayer there – but they are cemented in 3rd, no way to improve or worsen.  Could phone it in.

Stuttgart are at home to Koln, needing a win and a Hertha loss (at Dortmund, fixed in 2nd position), to swap 16th for 15th.  15th is safe, 16th gets that terrifying playoff with a Bundesliga 2 side to fight over the last promotion/relegation slot.  Stuttgart could also fall to 17th (automatic relegation) if they really get humped and Bielefeld hump the Energy Drinks.  So, all that goes on at 9:30, also ESPN+.

Frogger takes over at 3p, in their penultimate round.  I think BeIn has the rights to that, and usually only show PSG.  Shit network, that.  I won’t go into fine detail, other than to remind you that OGC Nice are still on track for 69 points, if they win out.

Sunday is FOAR HippoTerror.  At least I will know what Slightly-Less-But-Still-Disappointing Everton need when they kickoff (home to Beesus, 11:30, USA).  Because the relegation zone action is staggered.  White Lives Matter away to Spurs (7:00, USA), followed by new relegation favoUrite Leeds hosting Brighton (9:00, Peacock).  Still too much uncertainty to feel even a bit safe.  Things can change – and have changed – on a dime, so worry seems prudent.

tl;dr – read a book, I guess.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

When Larry Bird’s 80’s Celtics teams are mentioned, one year tends to get glossed over-it’s the 82/83 season. Why? They were swept 4-0 in the Eastern Conference semifinals by the Milwaukee Bucks, courtesy of Don Nelson, Marques Johnson and Sidney Moncrief.

It was so fucking glorious-every pundit at the time had Boston steamrolling their way to the EC Finals.

Brick Meathook

Apollo:

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Apollo:

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scotchnaut
scotchnaut

The Sports Doldrums suck balls.

yeah right

You should consider the MLB app. I’m watching your team that shall remain nameless playing the Gigantes and it’s a good ballgame. Looks hot as fuck in St. Louis though.

Mr. Ayo

Woot! Bathurst 12 hour and THREE (3) ice ball game 7s! Time to load up on the caffeine and vodka!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0S5qSBSx0I

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was going to watch Eurovision but it’s not easily found on any streaming service we get, so looks like it’s a booky-wook for me instead.

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Dammit. Should have recorded this and fast forwarded to the penos.

scotchnaut

Time Flies By Update: David Byrne turns 70 today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE1Ro_wPGIU&ab_channel=AbstractJesus

scotchnaut

Spent two hours this morning cleaning out two fridges and the rather large pantry that we have. I was on the hunt for expired products. Five large cardboard boxes later the winner was…chili sauce and some jello packets that gave up the ghost in April of 2015(!).

litre_cola

Salad dressing is my nemesis.

scotchnaut

You must be the weirdest superhero ever.

Gumbygirl

Salad Boy vs Ranch Man!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jimmy Garappolo vs. Carson Wentz?

WCS

Last month, found Egg Beaters (huh huh heh heh) in the employee fridge that had a “best by” date of January 2021.

Gumbygirl

Were they peeps yet?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Crushed animal bones never expire. Or go out of style.

Horatio Cornblower

“animal”

Game Time Decision

Been doing the same thing. Nothing that old tho

Game Time Decision

There’s also food in my desk at work that’s at least 2 years old now. Not sure when I’ll be in the office to toss it.

Gumbygirl

Gumby hired our third lawn guy. Let’s see if he ever shows up again!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, you two must be rolling in it if you have *three* lawns!

scotchnaut
Mr. Ayo

Give them a show when they show up.

Gumbygirl

I’ll give them a fucking parade, but I am confident we’ll never see this guy again.

litre_cola

Next stop the dudes outside home depot?

Gumbygirl

Better than cutting it myself! There is an electric mower in the garage, but we are skeered of it. If you saw how pitifully small the grass portion of our yard is, you would be both ashamed of us, and embarrassed for us. Most of it is either gravel or planter beds with mulch.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have a little push mower I’d be happy to part with, if we ever happen to meet in person.

Gumbygirl

Got a mower, need a pusher! Maybe this third guy is the charm. He seemed nice, we shall see.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hell, I’ve got a dozen pushers I can connect you with!” – Jim Irsay

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really hoping today is a nap day

Horatio Cornblower

Send some up here. Hasn’t rained in a week, and people are starting to worry about their lawns.

(every western DFOer dies laughing)

yeah right

I’ve started tossing out the old dish water onto the garden out front. It’s the only water it gets.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So they’re doing a disaster preparedness drill in a neighborhood not too far away from me. Great. Only problem is that they a) sent the alert to the entire city of Los Angeles and b) didn’t specify that it was a fucking drill. Nice work.

ballsofsteelandfury

It wasn’t just city. I got it too.

With the message about 5 minutes later saying it was only a drill.

Some people got woken up twice for that bullshit!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean if you lived in the neighborhood you probably were in the car on your way to the rally point before the second text came out.

yeah right

They didn’t send me shit. Guess they’re reasoning is “Fuck em, it’s Pedro.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, you’re not wrong.

rockingdog

Found a funny;

fried beans:

inventor of refried beans: again.

WCS

Toilet: *sigh* Again.

rockingdog

LOL
This FA Cup is sooooo british

Pulisic is getting the start!!
That’s Rocking!
Go Chelski! ⚽️

2Pack

So we’re in a 2 game playoff with Cosenza to see who stays in Series B next season, and who gets thrown down into C. We won 1-0 the other night. Play again on Friday. A win or a tie and we live to derp another day. The crowd at Fausto’s asks for your prayers.

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2Pack

As do these ladies

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litre_cola

That book was superb. Will read again

2Pack

What is the title, I want to check it out.

Horatio Cornblower

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It’s a good read

Horatio Cornblower

Much like Gumbygirl’s next lawn guy, it’ll be a Mexican.

2Pack

You simply can’t. The lady in green would crush you.

WCS

She must break you.

Horatio Cornblower

The Sheriff will be pleased

WCS

“Man, I didn’t see nothin’,”

— Ray L., substitute ref

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
Horatio Cornblower

I watched ‘Lords of Metal’ on the Netflix last night. Surprised how much I liked it. Pretty funny, and heavy metal cello is now something I need more of.

Redshirt

Mitch McConnell went to Ukraine to support them?!

Aw, does this mean I have to root for Putin now?

Gumbygirl

Watch what happens to that “support” if the midterms go his way. Bastard.

rockingdog

This baby formula thing is not rocking

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Horatio Cornblower

Don’t forget that Abbot apparently spent a ton of money buying back stock rather than, you know, on cleaning supplies.

2Pack

We had some fun this week watching Inter beat Juventus for the Copa. It was on over the air too not the usual pay per view. Free pure joy.

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Horatio Cornblower

Not after three minutes with me!

(well over 2 minutes of which is tearful and profuse apologizing)

scotchnaut

“If history has told us anything Hippo, cozying up to the Germans is a bad idea.”

-Diana and Unity Mitford

Redshirt

-Edward VIII of England

Horatio Cornblower

Austro-Hungarian Empire

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know, let’s see what we can do here.

–Neville C.