Monday Morning Mock Draft: Cameos

Listen.  I didn’t ask for this job.  I was pretty content to stay in Mississippi, huntin’, fishin’, cheerin’ on our state’s imminent ban on contraception, land baronin’ and whatnot.  But Horatio is missing in action, so I’ve been called out of retirement in order to electronically transmit today’s mock fantasy whatever topic: cameos.  These can feature NFL players, other actors, politicians, you name it, making a brief – preferably uncredited – appearance in a film (or television show).  You know the basic rules by this point, but a few more: appearances on animated shows must be *as themselves* or they are invalid (i.e. you cannot draft Dustin Hoffman for his voice work on The Simpsons. But you could select John Madden).  Actors *playing* important figures (like Jeanette Charles playing Queen Elizabeth in The Naked Gun) are not cameos, and are similarly invalid.  Now get to work!  With his first pick, Rikki has selected Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins Jr. as the Vegan Police in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.  Now have at it!

 

Editor’s Note: Horatio is, in fact here, but he has a headache from too much sun and maybe a smidge too much beer, and he is very grateful that Rikki came up with this idea last week, (when Horatio just forgot about Mock Draft Monday), and was able to slide it in, (heh), today. The only thing left to say, as you know by now, is

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Stormy Daniels in 40 year old virgin.

I cannot find a SFW gif or clip

WCS

Marty Scorsese in Taxi Driver

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Cuntler

Radiohead in “South Park” when they make fun of Scott Tennerman after Cartman makes him unknowingly eat his parents.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C5YxqUfU0AAAQgx?format=jpg&name=small

BeefReeferLives

The Clash in “The King of Comedy”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-LJ0_rOgd8

Last edited 2 years ago by BeefReeferLives
Brick Meathook
Gumbygirl

Gumby has pissed me off in a big way, so I’m gonna go spend too much money at Gelson’s. Later, my taters!

BeefReeferLives

Miles Davis as “street musician #1” in Scrooged.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apt he’s playing with his back to him

Redshirt

Was William Henry Harrison’s appearance short enough to be considered a cameo?

BeefReeferLives

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sticking with a duo, Al Michaels and Bob Costas in Baseketball. Yes, Costas’s “they promised me it wouldn’t make the final cut line” was great, but Michaels as his lecherous self was better.

https://youtu.be/J1fF2tkMUU8

Gumbygirl

Swear to God this happened. James Brown with Frankie and Annette in Ski Party
https://youtu.be/7_xBT_xavzM

scotchnaut

After he was told there was a lot of snow on the set, you couldn’t keep him away.

ballsofsteelandfury

One more David Hasselhof pick: Eurotrip

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Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
scotchnaut

W.S. Burroughs in Drugstore Cowboys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKPcR3tADXc

scotchnaut

Are we doing DOUBLE SHOTS? Yes, yes we are. Burroughs pops up briefly in Laurie Anderson’s Home of The Brave.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvOoR8m0oms

BeefReeferLives

Ron Jeremy in Ghostbusters.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Genius

yeah right

Stony Curtis on the Flintstones.
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blaxabbath

Bob Sagat asking If Chappelle ever sucked dick for weed in Half Baked.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“I seen it!”

Tremendous value.

scotchnaut

The Artist Formerly Known As Kevin Spacey in Se7en.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t see the commissioner laying down the law here today so I’m going to get greedy and pick David Bowie and Billy Zane in Zoolander. Both really cool dudes.

https://youtu.be/KeX9BXnD6D4

https://youtu.be/1wf503WoaVA

2Pack

Mike Tyson in The Hangover, that all time classic documentary.

Redshirt
BeefReeferLives

Hmmm. Did Chris Walken have too many lines in Pulp Fiction as Cap. Koons for that to be considered a cameo?

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Redshirt

Yes and no. Yes, because it’s a whole segment. No, because it’s not the longest part and it’s not completely attached to the others.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll leave the actual commissioning to RTD, but in my opinion it’s too big a role to be a cameo.

BeefReeferLives

Hmmm. Did Chris Walken have too many lines in Pulp Fiction as Cap. Koons for that to be considered a cameo?

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SonOfSpam

Billy Idol was fun in The Wedding Singer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eLPrrw1pz4

King Hippo

If I say he’s a Thin Mints-loving faux punk, will Moose come back? Let’s try it and see!!

Redshirt
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Phenomenal pick

King Hippo

I absolutely LOVE this movie (criminally underrated) and Soundgarden was the best Seattle band. FIGHT ME!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J5H8YzfARE

The Maestro

For my second pick, I’m gonna have to go with the Trailer Park Boys kidnapping RUSH’s Alex Lifeson.

King Hippo

aye, twas the greasiest of greasy capers!

BeefReeferLives

Steve Martin as “the insolent waiter” in the muppet movie was fun…

“Would you care to sniff the bottlecap?”

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2Pack

Kaream in Airport?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can I choose Kareem in Airplane?

2Pack

Why not?
/ certainly would never be a threat in the spelling bee.

Gumbygirl

Flea in the Big Lebowski
https://youtu.be/IQO29ibWvAU

King Hippo

oh, that’s GREAT VALUE

WCS

Smoking Joe Frazier wrecking Barney.
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BeefReeferLives

Looks like Elise Stefanik didn’t lock down a URL… Ooopsie.

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https://www.elisestefanik2022.com/

BeefReeferLives

“Comedian Toby Morton noticed Elise Stefanik missed a related domain name for her website, so he bought it himself. It’s especially useful in light of the mass shooting in Buffalo this weekend, since Elise pushes the same hateful replacement theory as the shooter:”

Hey @EliseStefanik – You failed to secure https://t.co/Vmos9hnnPI so I got it and created your new website. Enjoy!

— Toby Morton (@tobymorton) May 16, 2022

Redshirt

“If you’re a white person in America today and you can’t be successful, that’s on you!”
-Christopher Titus

Redshirt

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2XJ7dhofvhY

DeForest Kelley in Star Trek: The Next Generation

Horatio Cornblower

Bones made Admiral?

Jesus, they’ll kick anyone upstairs.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Neil Patrick Harris in Harold and Kumar

https://youtu.be/M7bK3w9Mw6w

Gumbygirl

I love him in that!

Horatio Cornblower

Hasselhoff makes another appearance, this time in the SpongeBob Movie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brTGAgUYnIc

Redshirt

Since all my picks were taken, I’m going with Molly Ringwald from Not Another Teen Movie. It’s was unexpected, humorous and the perfect way to end the movie.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v1uRRcsEsnA

SonOfSpam

John Hurt in Spaceballs…he has the worst luck with stomach issues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-sBROXalU4&ab_channel=GeoWhisper

King Hippo

Pre-President Diamond Joe!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvbMB_GGR6s

LemonJello

David Hasselhoff in Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol 2

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yeah right

Tom Cruise as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder.

LemonJello

motherfucker. I was looking for a gif to post with this choice.

The Maestro

Another brilliant choice.

Don T

William Hurt in the incredibly undervalued “I Love You to Death”.

Don T
Brick Meathook
SonOfSpam

Bill Murray in Zombieland.

King Hippo

Carl Weathers, espousing the gospel of the stew going (Arrested Development):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZZ8atyryB4

yeah right

Alannis Morissette as God in Dogma.

yeah right

Also from the same movie…

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Game Time Decision

Whats his name in that movie about the thing-a-majigg
You know the guy
He always does that thing *gestures with hands randomly *

Last edited 2 years ago by Game Time Decision
King Hippo

oh man, this was gon’ be mines

Sharkbait

Matt Damon singing Scotty Doesn’t Know in Eurotrip

The Maestro

Goddamn, that’s a great pick.

Horatio Cornblower

Probably could have done this draft just out of The Blues Brothers, but I have to take Aretha Franklin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTXszRHc0qs

yeah right

Gene Hackman as the blind man in Young Frankenstein.

Don T

Winner.
Wait. Wait! I was going to make expresso.

The Maestro

For my first pick, I’m taking Ray Charles shooting a gun at a shoplifting child in the Blues Brothers.

ballsofsteelandfury

Brad Pitt in Deadpool 2

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury