Thinking FITBAW Saturday Nite Open Thread

Look, I don’t care about the #IceBFIB.  Nor the Swampass On Ice! series.  So, bear with me.  I daydreamed about this topic (Friday nap time), and am backing it up with Bovada lines.  I wanted to look at the AFC and NFC, and show where I see “value” and teams that others are “on” but I just don’t get.  Feel free to ruminate on your nominees in the comments.

American FITBAW Conference

Good Value (to make the Owl)

Here, I am going with the Fat Humps.  Their season win over/under is at 9.5 (though it’s -175 to bet the over), and they seem to have a glide path to at least their conference (with apologies to DonT).  Those Magnificent Tits look like they are at least mini-rebuilding, and we shall see how el Tractorcito holds up.  But even a split with Tennessee leaves FOUR FIXTURES against the 500s and Jaguras.  10-7, shit, even 11-6 seems like the minimal expectation, unless Matty Ice dies.  Recall how shit hot they were with a ret…Darnold-ish quartered back last year, until the last two weeks.  Ryan already made one Owl, with a much less complete team than he will lead in the Gravy Boat.  Once we get “AFC Shempion” lines, this is who I will bet.  Again, this is FOR VALUE, not a PURE FAVOURITE (as I am sure Buffalo will be odds-on, likely with KC next).

Good Value (to make the Playoffs)

Fronk got me thinking the other day, and WHY NOT the Robert Saleh-led Jest?  Their over/under is at 6 (-125 to bet the over), and I think 7-10 or 8-9 is their floor, unless their Stormin’ Mormon QB is somehow even WORSE in Season 2.  Should he make the leap to competence, I see 10-7 as a distinct possibility.  Well-coached, with a great draft class coming in.  I don’t buy the P*ts or LOLfins at all (see below) even if they get swept by Bills Mafia.

Hippo Just Don’t See It

Deffo not the LOLfins.  You don’t “buy high” on a speed-only receiver who’s nearing 30.  Miami did.  Tua and his happy feet (and popgun fin) are still in town.  Messy divorce with Brian Flores on top of that, and I could see the wheels falling the fuck off.  Their over/under is 9 (-120 for the over), and these fish reek of 7-10 or worse to me.

National FITBAW Conference

Good Value (to make the Owl)

Here I am again with a known unknown at QB, but if Trey Lance has “it” at all, this Tomsulas squadron has everything.  On paper, it’s a loaded conference – but RRRRRRRRAM IT!! are getting older and more pressed by the salary cap.  Their left tackle retired, and that usually causes major problems for any squadron.  The Qardinals look like a train wreck is imminent, and the SeaTruthers might start Horse Cock Lock.  Yikes.  Gimme Santa Clara, getting to 12 wins and being a team that’s built for playoff success.

Good Value (to make the Playoffs)

God help me, but I see another laughingstock with a solid 2nd year coach – the Goddamned Detroit Lions.  Even if the over/under is 6.5, this team could get to 9-8 and that should suffice in the weaker conference.  I liked their draft, I like how they fought down the stretch in 2021.  Their OL could be really good.  Th’Andre Swift could be a fantasy league-winner, too.  Chi**** is going to be shitty beyond all belief, and what if Q-aaron gets hurt?  And has he EVAR shown that much without Davante Adams?  I’m telling ya, there’s a path here.  And nobody will want to bet this.

Hippo Just Don’t See It

Sorry, Commies.  Ron Rivera is a good coach, but Dakota Jeebus and organizational dysfunction won’t get you over the 8.5-win hump.  A Trotskyite purge is surely in the offering, perhaps before the season even ends.  I don’t buy Philly as much as the average mammal, but they’ll improve.  So will the G-men.  The Non-Gendered Cowpersons have coaching…limitations, but Dak! can still make plays and they have two generational stars on the defensive unit.  If Washington win 6, I will be surprised.

Odds and Ends

$10 each of Isaiah Spiller (Offensive ROY, +2800) and Deebo Samuel (regular season MVP, +5500), because I like throwing moneys away.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
81 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Fronkenshteen

Got a hot source/opinion on the Manila Galleon of 1565-1815? Let me know. This final paper is kicking my ass.

ballsofsteelandfury

To add a little modern flavour to your paper, you might want to read up on the Mexican government’s plan to revive the Isthmus of Tehuantepec project and make it a Panama Canal alternative.

https://dicex.com/news/what-is-the-istmo-of-tehuantepec-megaproject/?lang=en

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

The only reason this is happening is because of the legacy of the Manila Galleon.

Horatio Cornblower

This is a lot of words that I don’t understand to say that “Please don’t look at a map to figure out that Nicaragua has a huge lake that would cut this while thing in half because we all know what the US will do then”

ballsofsteelandfury

Except the Chinese are trying to finance the Nicaragua project and the US wants none of that.

Horatio Cornblower

It would be so unlike the US to intervene in the affairs of a Latin American country to keep China out.

Brick Meathook

Wait until the Chinese are in charge. Those locals will be wishing the gringos came back

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, and by the way, screw you for bringing this to my attention, as I am now going to have at least two more beers while going down this rabbit hole.

Horatio Cornblower

Just learned that the Spanish might have ‘discovered’ Oregon in 1693, which was probably news to the Native Americans living there at the time.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manila_galleon#Shipwrecks

ballsofsteelandfury

Watch GWS and West Coast!

Horatio Cornblower

Like Nigeria, Manila and Acapulco were lands of contrast, yet both were embiggened through 250 years of mutually beneficial trade.

Fronkenshteen

Does ANYONE need further explanation as to why this is the most fantastic website on the World Wide Web? I thought not. God bless this funky joint!

rockingdog

Honestly this dude Elon Musk
Should build an electric barge
Not just 1,
50 massive Tesla branded electric barges

That would be Rockingggg

https://www.bnnbloomberg.ca/transcript-the-1906-dredging-law-that-may-be-holding-back-the-u-s-economy-1.1755148.amp.html

Last edited 2 years ago by rockingdog
Horatio Cornblower

My son and I are big fans of combat sports. I’m watching a boxing match today where one of the guys is being touted as the next big thing, with devastating punching power that no one in the division can match.

His back is covered with acne. I mean it looks like a map of all the stars in the Milky Way. I text this to my son, and get the following response back:

“Just legalize steroids. “Oh wah, they’re bad for you” like getting punched in the head is good.”

He has a point.

Fronkenshteen

Scott Thompson (Buddy Cole) tweeted that Prime Video informed the Kids that this week is the week they’ll count heads in order to decide whether the Kids In The Hall can do another season. So please throw a towel over your TV screen tonight and let season 6 play in its entirety whilst you sleep. Comedy fans will thank you.

ballsofsteelandfury

I already watched the entire season. Will rewatch.

Horatio Cornblower

I hope Amazon drops them and they get picked up by Netflix, Hulu, or HBO Max, because as much as I like KITH, as God is my witness I am not paying for another fucking streaming service.

ballsofsteelandfury

I get Amazon Prime for the free 2 day delivery, not the streaming channel.

Horatio Cornblower

I refuse to use Amazon for anything. “Anything” should, of course, not include taking and using anything I happen to find should one of their drones meet with an “accident” somewhere in the vicinity of the airspace around my house.

Game Time Decision

Got some bad news for you about Internet and hosting

ballsofsteelandfury

This is a crazy ending. Now the Tigres goalie is red-carded.

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
ballsofsteelandfury

It’s the 105th minute and we’re looking at another 5 probably.

ballsofsteelandfury

Never mind. It’s over.

ballsofsteelandfury

But the red cards continue!

Mr. Ayo

The crowd shots where my bueno. So many chicas bonitas.

Horatio Cornblower

We must have had a different feed. I was getting a lot of sweaty, overweight men.

Look, I’m not judging, but that’s simply not my fetish.

Gumbygirl

Woo,Midsomer Murders with Barnaby the First!

Mr. Ayo

That looks like it Tatums.

ballsofsteelandfury

8 minutes of extra time! That seems high.

Mr. Ayo

Brutal.

ballsofsteelandfury

And the penalty in extra time!

Crazy!

ballsofsteelandfury

GWS is playing at a decent hour tonight.

Mr. Ayo

Atlas has unshrugged.

Mr. Ayo

More like Atlas Sucked.

WCS

The book and the movie

Mr. Ayo

That looks like it Smarts.

Horatio Cornblower

Atlas Shrugs! The ball into the goal, or something like that.

Fuck you, you come up with something clever if you’re so smart.

WCS
Horatio Cornblower

It appears to be nil-nil and sponsored by Modelo, so safe to say we’re headed for a Full Seamus.

WCS

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Sexi Mexi futbal, of course.

Gumbygirl

I need a fucking sherpa.

Mr. Ayo

Bet it all on Tigres.

ballsofsteelandfury

Smart man

scotchnaut

Trying to watch The Power of the Dog but I can’t picture Cummerbund Bandersnatch as any other character other than Crapton Marble or Derplock Moans.

Horatio Cornblower

That was a good movie. Cumberbatch should have won Best Actor, if only because he managed to get through the ceremony without slapping anyone.

rockingdog

That’s Rocking

herodotus450

Speaking of the NFL, the Blues are putting up a surprising fight against the Avalanche, which is nice.
/The avalanche are owned by some billionaire named S. Kroenke I think, not to be too specific, so this is a kinda cool revenge scenario

Mr. Ayo

And Bennington is knocked out.

Mr. Ayo

And the Avs score. Everything’s turning up billionaires!

herodotus450

And did Josh Manson get the goal? Another LA Connection…

ballsofsteelandfury

Mike Tomlin has never had a losing season. That should merit a few dollars on the OVER 7.5.

WCS

It would be incredible with Pickett went to law school.

WCS

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

/Clubhouse phone rings
//Horatio picks it up

H’lo? Just a sec…HIPPO! HR IS ON THE LI…wait a minute, when did we get an HR department?

///hangs up

Mr. Ayo

Sexy Friday will never be the same.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not a Donaldson fan, but if Anderson is going to go around calling himself ‘the next Jackie Robinson’, which he did, he’s opening himself up to stuff like that.

I’d take it a lot more seriously if Anderson swung at Donaldson when he said that, rather than wait until the post-game interviews to say he felt it was racist.

And anything Tony LaRussa says, other than “please call me an Uber”, should be taken with a large grain of salt.

Horatio Cornblower

Who am I kidding? Tony LaRussa doesn’t know what an Uber is.

Mr. Ayo

He’s big MADD tonight.

Mr. Ayo

Tiger saw his score and tomorrow’s forecast and said “Fuck that like a Perkins waitress”.

WCS

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

What an asshole.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Celebrating my FIL’s bday, and my instructions were “don’t get him too drunk” before the surprise party. So I took that to mean bring him a little drunk and now I’m working on the bourbon myself.

Don T

Papa needs a new 3rd dimension!
comment image

WCS

comment image

Doktor Zymm

There are people who are bullish about the fightin’ snyders?? Who are these people and can I interest them in this lovely bridge I have for sale?

I’m thinking Iggles will win the priviledge of losing to a wild card team this season.

BTW, y’all will be pleased to know that Qatar blocks the site, I’m on a cypriot vpn

WCS

They’re gonna be stinkin’ awfulsome!

comment image

Don T

I nominate myself to be the DFO Qatar correspondent for the World Cup. Radio silence means I’m on-site!

Horatio Cornblower

Moar liek “Qatting the internet cable, amir…”

Just gets the absolute shit slapped out of him.

Gumbygirl

They block our site? How dare they! Savages.