Your “And Away We Go” Thursday Night Preseason Football Open Thread

A Jackie Gleason reference? WTF? Anyhoo, I’m amped. Are you amped? It might have something to do with the Giants playing and the coaches installing an offense that doesn’t embrace the 80’s (more about that in a hot second) and the fact that all three of their preseason games are nationally televised. I’m really just happy to see football and hang out with you degenerates. So close that “Up Close Nasal Insertions” video and pay attention.

To The Games!

Giants/Pats:

-We got starters playing! Well, one team anyway.

-Several reports out of camp indicate that the passing aspect of this offense has quite a ways to go. More complex than any player has heretofore seen, Coach The Ball and OC Kafka (any nickname suggestions are welcome) have seen tons of miscommunications, wrong routes and puzzling mis-throws.

-For this reason I’d ignore any buzz you’ve heard about Kadarius. He’s participated in all of four of eleven practices. Maybe use him in best ball or DFS but for a regular draft, I’d stay clear. He reeks of Boom or Bust with an emphasis on the latter.

-The Pats are in mourning because James White passed away, er, ‘retired’ today.

-The only way that qb Bailey Zappe’s name could be cooler is if the ‘e’ at the end was pronounced as the French are want to do.

-Will Belichick have whiffed on yet another wr in this past draft? [Tyquan Thornton shuffles his feet nervously]

Titans/Ravens:

-Qb-wise Tennessee will first give us Logan Woodside, who no doubt is a preppie that drinks spritzers and idly waits to join his dad’s venture capital firm. His gf’s name is Buffy. That is not her nickname.

-More names? Okay then. We should see a Titans wr called Racey McMath [googles his 40 time, sees he ran a 4.34 on his Pro Day] and there goes that stupid joke. Damnit! Good luck to him-the wr group doesn’t seem all that imposing outside of chronically injured and very soon-to-be over the hill Robert Woods.

-Beware The Huntley-this dude scored 4 TD’s in a preseason-er last year and then did the same in wk 14 vs the Packers.

It’s all you now. Maybe a bit more of me as well…