Hello again. Just one more game to cap off a wonderful day of footballin’. Let’s get at it, shall we?
To The Game!
Bucs/Cowboys:
-It’s hard to imagine Micah Parsons playing any better than he did last year but that rat bastard (he’s a Cowboy) is my pick for DPOY.
-Godwin must surely be on a pitch count so the question becomes, “Evans or Julio?”. I’d pick Evans as the one that the Cowboys should pay most attention to. Sure, Julio can move the ball downfield but the likelihood of him actually getting into the endzone is thin.
-Tampa is a miserable 1-12 when they wander down to Dallas.
-Hopefully the Cowboys have Pollard in the mix more than they have had in year’s previous. He adds a bit of juice to that backfield. Don’t get me wrong-if you want to salt a win away by running the ball, Zeke is the best in the league. (let’s pretend that Derrick Henry doesn’t exist for a moment) But Pollard has a ‘take it to the house when you least expect it’ quality about him.
-A bottom 5 o-line? That’s what one Sirius football talkin’ guy accused Dallas of having during a fit of hyperbole. That said, that unit must be the central concern of most fans of the team. Zach Martin is still around but the rest of the line is a mess.
-Last year them Cowboys had the highest turnover Expected Points Added of any team in the last five years. They’ll get theirs as long as Diggs & Co. are around but they can’t expect to approach that number again this year.
You’re free to do what you (mostly) wish down below.
Looks like it’ll still be nothing but the Triplets merch being sold at the DFW team store. 30th year and counting.
The “other” 88?
First 3 quarters: ‘Well at least they’re doing better with the penalties”.
4th quarter: “Well fuck that I guess…”.
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Haha, just kidding. Another 4 and out upcoming.
NOSTRADAMUS
Update: Captain Bluebunny was too much of a coward to go for it on 4th down. So it’s just a 3 and out and back to our math lessons.
Go team woo…(dismissive wank).
I don’t want to see the Nongendered Cowpeople rally, but, I suppose I could be swayed if it it’s against Dreamboat.
A Dallas lifeline!
We have finally achieved the DFO hive mind:
We’ve got this perma camp fire smell going on outside and it’s seeped into our home. I’ve got a pounding headache. I miss the good old days when whenever there was a fire, it didn’t turn into the apocalypse with air quality and smell
I finally get to watch some football and it’s raspy Collinsworth sacking off Brady and Dallas. This isn’t faw-uh
Even sasha Grey is wondering how this guy can suck so much and still have dignity
$12.5 mill buys a lot of dignity
My fantasy opponent just clinched victory with that touchdown. They have 1 player playing, 2 to play tomorrow night. Mine have all played
I currently have the 2nd highest point score in the league.
I expanded the league from 10 to 12 players this year. Meaning the odds of this happening went from 1 in 9 to 1 in 11.
I don’t even know what metaphor to use here. I’ve already talked about God shitting on me aristocrats styles.
This is like being chained up and a having a bunch of nazis come in and kick a puppy every 5 minutes, twice if I wince.
What the fuck did I do to deserve this?!?!?!?!
Um touched yourself
You touch yourself.
Did you touch yourself again?
Ohhhhh!!! I love to hear the Cow fans boo their own team.
I’m watching the tits and dragons show. What have I missed?
When did Trubisky and Rex Grossman start a show of their own?
There’s so many streaming services now that everyone gets a show at some point. I can’t wait for the Jay Cutler cameo later in the season!
Sleeping in the middle of the hallway, refuses to move, with a smoked cigarette butt still in the corner of his moth.
The greatest QB to ever play just keeps winning.
In Kansas City. Brady is okay, too, I guess.
THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM MITCH MCCONNELL BECAUSE HE DESPERATELY WANTS TO SEE AN EXTREMELY POPULAR HALF-BLACK GUY ONLY HAVE A SINGLE CAREER TRIUMPH BUT IT PROBABLY WON’T WORK OUT THAT WAY.
Mahomes? Or Trent Dilfer?
Dilfer did go to Fresno State. Hmmmm…
Welp. WIth that, I’ll head off to bed. Let’s do this tomorrow night!
Later, Taters!
Nothing more exciting than the repeating the same punt 3 times!
Catch the action!
The Rockettes present Groundhogs Day
They should fine JJ every time they have to re-punt for someone hitting the stupid giant scoreboard
“I’LL GLADLY PAY ANY FINE OL’ROG WANTS TO WHIP UP WHEN IT COMES TO MY GIGANTIC EGO-STROKE OF A STADIUM. YEEEEeeeeeHAAAAAAWWwwww I AM FUCKING CRAZY!”
Fine or kick in the balls either works for me
“If there’s a choice, I’d take the kick. I loves my money.”
-Little Danny Snyder
Schools could use this game to teach students their multiplication table for the number 3
The ones not on strike could anyway
Already took work off and I’m committed to making another drink but this game is testing my consciousness
So here’s a fun rumor that a friend of mine who spends way too much time on Dallas message boards told me. Allegedly Ol’ Double J gave Stephen this year to do it his way, (hence trading people like Cooper to stay within the salary cap), and it’s successful than JJ will tip his hat, yell YEEHAW, and they’ll keep going. If it doesn’t work, (it will not work), JJ is going to fire McCarthy, hire Sean Payton, and give Payton the keys to the kingdom, all the players he wants, and 3 comely lasses.
No idea this is true but I do think that, barring at least a run to the NFC Championship, (again, not happening), Captain Blue Bunny is getting fired and replaced by Payton.
That’s where this league is going.
That’s all well and good, but the real question remains: how much cocaine will there be?
Answer: Yes.
Like a king back in the day JJ gets to have the lasses first to make sure that they are comely.
Wait, so Stephen Jones is behind Mike McCarthy’s hiring then?:
Princeton Eating Club looks waaaaaayyy uncomfortable in a suit in the studio
Well, he’s next to Dungy, one of ‘those people’, so how do you expect a member of an exclusive eating club to react?
Speaking of “those people,” that takedown of Dak would absolutely have gotten a flag if it were Brady, or another white qb. It’s bullshit, and it’s absofuckinglutely racist.
Each drive more kicky than the last!
It’s like both teams decided that we’d had enough excitement with the early games and we should be able to relax and not get too excited tonight.
So the Bucs can hold, they can commit PI, and Brady is now allowed to bounce passes to his WRs.
Anyone making prop bets might want to hit Tampa Bay hard for the second half.
The PUP list just makes me think of adorable puppies wearing casts. It’s a very cute name for a not cute thing.
Well, time to start looking up Top 8 draft prospects for next year.
Took a couple of gummies to make it easier to sort of root for the boys? They need to kick in quickly, I feel gross and dirty.
There’s always something uplifting about seeing Tom Brady yelling at a lineman. It’s like a “red sky at night, sailor’s delight” kind of thing.
Sackety sack! (Don’t fall back)
Micah Parsons is a grown-ass man
Brady not happy with #72
It won’t be serious unless he starts calling him ‘Gisele’
https://twitter.com/cjzero/status/1569111615840174080?s=20&t=xv2OnnRNyrGPL4ID_-85aw
Dak’s in post-season form already.
Unfortunately.
DAK! read that coverage worse than Lea Michele reads a dictionary.
DAKDAKDAKERCEPTION!
SHA’NKLOR is really hungry after the dormancy.
SHE MUST FEED!
Do NFL broadcasts show us Peyton’s, Rodgers’s, and Brady’s faces more often than other QBs, because of the amount of displeasure that routinely shows on their faces?
This could be an actual marketing strategy for young QBs….
Resting bitch face gets clicks.
Precisely.
Why do think you think you looked like a Week 1 preseason team, Kliff? Maybe because no one played football in training camp?
Roughing the Brady wasn’t called? Maybe the spell is breaking at last!
Gisele dating the head ref
I just wanna say that I turned a forest fire smoky haze into $250 cash at the last ballgame of the season today. (The sun is the red dot on the right just above the trees.)
Yep, perma campout smell here as is custom the last 7 years.
Collinsworth wonders how Parsons missed Brady, replay clearly shows Parsons being held, Collinsworth doesn’t acknowledge it.
Parsons eats Brady on the next play anyway.
What happened to Moose? I need some subtle porn girl .avi to show my pleasure taking this post-game call in show content.
Brady was sacked? Is that allowed?
Am still waiting for a flag on the play
The Brady fellating continues full speed ahead folks. There was no warning tap.
you don’t have this on mute, man? glutton for punishment.
Why Collinsworth throat is shot
No gag reflex on Tirico or Collinsworth.
“Imma eat me a whole shit-load of ice cream at halftime.”
-Coach McCarthy
Blue Bonnet
Finally getting to sit down and grab a few mins of the post game show.
So far got a makeup on a pig comment!
Jesus, Dak has about 1.5 seconds to get the ball out. Time to give Pollard some run, and no more gimmicky double reverse shit. YES I BET HE’D RUN FOR OVER 30.5 YARDS GODDAMMIT!!!
Ma’am it’s nearly fall.
2/10, poor seasonal awareness.