Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Hello again. Just one more game to cap off a wonderful day of footballin’. Let’s get at it, shall we?

To The Game!

Bucs/Cowboys:

-It’s hard to imagine Micah Parsons playing any better than he did last year but that rat bastard (he’s a Cowboy) is my pick for DPOY.

-Godwin must surely be on a pitch count so the question becomes, “Evans or Julio?”. I’d pick Evans as the one that the Cowboys should pay most attention to. Sure, Julio can move the ball downfield but the likelihood of him actually getting into the endzone is thin.

-Tampa is a miserable 1-12 when they wander down to Dallas.

-Hopefully the Cowboys have Pollard in the mix more than they have had in year’s previous. He adds a bit of juice to that backfield. Don’t get me wrong-if you want to salt a win away by running the ball, Zeke is the best in the league. (let’s pretend that Derrick Henry doesn’t exist for a moment) But Pollard has a ‘take it to the house when you least expect it’ quality about him.

-A bottom 5 o-line? That’s what one Sirius football talkin’ guy accused Dallas of having during a fit of hyperbole. That said, that unit must be the central concern of most fans of the team. Zach Martin is still around but the rest of the line is a mess.

-Last year them Cowboys had the highest turnover Expected Points Added of any team in the last five years. They’ll get theirs as long as Diggs & Co. are around but they can’t expect to approach that number again this year.

You’re free to do what you (mostly) wish down below.

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Recovery Whiskey

Looks like it’ll still be nothing but the Triplets merch being sold at the DFW team store. 30th year and counting.

Romonobyl

The “other” 88?

Romonobyl

First 3 quarters: ‘Well at least they’re doing better with the penalties”.

4th quarter: “Well fuck that I guess…”.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Haha, just kidding. Another 4 and out upcoming.

WCS

NOSTRADAMUS

Mr. Ayo

Update: Captain Bluebunny was too much of a coward to go for it on 4th down. So it’s just a 3 and out and back to our math lessons.

Romonobyl

Go team woo…(dismissive wank).

WCS

I don’t want to see the Nongendered Cowpeople rally, but, I suppose I could be swayed if it it’s against Dreamboat.

Recovery Whiskey

A Dallas lifeline!

JimU

We have finally achieved the DFO hive mind:

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Wakezilla

We’ve got this perma camp fire smell going on outside and it’s seeped into our home. I’ve got a pounding headache. I miss the good old days when whenever there was a fire, it didn’t turn into the apocalypse with air quality and smell

Last edited 2 years ago by Wakezilla
Game Time Decision

I finally get to watch some football and it’s raspy Collinsworth sacking off Brady and Dallas. This isn’t faw-uh

Brocky

Even sasha Grey is wondering how this guy can suck so much and still have dignity

Game Time Decision

$12.5 mill buys a lot of dignity

Brocky

My fantasy opponent just clinched victory with that touchdown. They have 1 player playing, 2 to play tomorrow night. Mine have all played

I currently have the 2nd highest point score in the league.

I expanded the league from 10 to 12 players this year. Meaning the odds of this happening went from 1 in 9 to 1 in 11.

I don’t even know what metaphor to use here. I’ve already talked about God shitting on me aristocrats styles.

This is like being chained up and a having a bunch of nazis come in and kick a puppy every 5 minutes, twice if I wince.

What the fuck did I do to deserve this?!?!?!?!

Game Time Decision

Um touched yourself

JimU

You touch yourself.

TheRevanchist

Did you touch yourself again?

TheRevanchist

Ohhhhh!!! I love to hear the Cow fans boo their own team.

JimU

I’m watching the tits and dragons show. What have I missed?

WCS

When did Trubisky and Rex Grossman start a show of their own?

JimU

There’s so many streaming services now that everyone gets a show at some point. I can’t wait for the Jay Cutler cameo later in the season!

WCS

Sleeping in the middle of the hallway, refuses to move, with a smoked cigarette butt still in the corner of his moth.

TheRevanchist

The greatest QB to ever play just keeps winning.

In Kansas City. Brady is okay, too, I guess.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM MITCH MCCONNELL BECAUSE HE DESPERATELY WANTS TO SEE AN EXTREMELY POPULAR HALF-BLACK GUY ONLY HAVE A SINGLE CAREER TRIUMPH BUT IT PROBABLY WON’T WORK OUT THAT WAY.

Brick Meathook

Mahomes? Or Trent Dilfer?

TheRevanchist

Dilfer did go to Fresno State. Hmmmm…

LemonJello

Welp. WIth that, I’ll head off to bed. Let’s do this tomorrow night!

Later, Taters!

Mr. Ayo

Nothing more exciting than the repeating the same punt 3 times!

Catch the action!

Gatoraids

The Rockettes present Groundhogs Day

Doktor Zymm

They should fine JJ every time they have to re-punt for someone hitting the stupid giant scoreboard

LemonJello

“I’LL GLADLY PAY ANY FINE OL’ROG WANTS TO WHIP UP WHEN IT COMES TO MY GIGANTIC EGO-STROKE OF A STADIUM. YEEEEeeeeeHAAAAAAWWwwww I AM FUCKING CRAZY!”

Recovery Whiskey

Fine or kick in the balls either works for me

LemonJello

“If there’s a choice, I’d take the kick. I loves my money.”
-Little Danny Snyder

Doktor Zymm

Schools could use this game to teach students their multiplication table for the number 3

WCS

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Recovery Whiskey

The ones not on strike could anyway

Gatoraids

Already took work off and I’m committed to making another drink but this game is testing my consciousness

Horatio Cornblower

So here’s a fun rumor that a friend of mine who spends way too much time on Dallas message boards told me. Allegedly Ol’ Double J gave Stephen this year to do it his way, (hence trading people like Cooper to stay within the salary cap), and it’s successful than JJ will tip his hat, yell YEEHAW, and they’ll keep going. If it doesn’t work, (it will not work), JJ is going to fire McCarthy, hire Sean Payton, and give Payton the keys to the kingdom, all the players he wants, and 3 comely lasses.

No idea this is true but I do think that, barring at least a run to the NFC Championship, (again, not happening), Captain Blue Bunny is getting fired and replaced by Payton.

blaxabbath

That’s where this league is going.

WCS

That’s all well and good, but the real question remains: how much cocaine will there be?

LemonJello

Answer: Yes.

litre_cola

Like a king back in the day JJ gets to have the lasses first to make sure that they are comely.

hippofant

Wait, so Stephen Jones is behind Mike McCarthy’s hiring then?:

LemonJello

Princeton Eating Club looks waaaaaayyy uncomfortable in a suit in the studio

Horatio Cornblower

Well, he’s next to Dungy, one of ‘those people’, so how do you expect a member of an exclusive eating club to react?

Gumbygirl

Speaking of “those people,” that takedown of Dak would absolutely have gotten a flag if it were Brady, or another white qb. It’s bullshit, and it’s absofuckinglutely racist.

WCS

Each drive more kicky than the last!

Horatio Cornblower

It’s like both teams decided that we’d had enough excitement with the early games and we should be able to relax and not get too excited tonight.

Horatio Cornblower

So the Bucs can hold, they can commit PI, and Brady is now allowed to bounce passes to his WRs.

Anyone making prop bets might want to hit Tampa Bay hard for the second half.

Doktor Zymm

The PUP list just makes me think of adorable puppies wearing casts. It’s a very cute name for a not cute thing.
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Horatio Cornblower

Well, time to start looking up Top 8 draft prospects for next year.

Gumbygirl

Took a couple of gummies to make it easier to sort of root for the boys? They need to kick in quickly, I feel gross and dirty.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s always something uplifting about seeing Tom Brady yelling at a lineman. It’s like a “red sky at night, sailor’s delight” kind of thing.

Doktor Zymm

Sackety sack! (Don’t fall back)

Horatio Cornblower

Micah Parsons is a grown-ass man

Spur

Brady not happy with #72

Horatio Cornblower

It won’t be serious unless he starts calling him ‘Gisele’

Horatio Cornblower

Dak’s in post-season form already.

Unfortunately.

WCS

DAK! read that coverage worse than Lea Michele reads a dictionary.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DAKDAKDAKERCEPTION!

WCS

SHA’NKLOR is really hungry after the dormancy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

SHE MUST FEED!

WCS

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hippofant

Do NFL broadcasts show us Peyton’s, Rodgers’s, and Brady’s faces more often than other QBs, because of the amount of displeasure that routinely shows on their faces?

This could be an actual marketing strategy for young QBs….

litre_cola

Resting bitch face gets clicks.

yeah right

Precisely.

Spur

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Spur

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blaxabbath

Why do think you think you looked like a Week 1 preseason team, Kliff? Maybe because no one played football in training camp?

Gumbygirl

Roughing the Brady wasn’t called? Maybe the spell is breaking at last!

Gatoraids

Gisele dating the head ref

Beerguyrob

I just wanna say that I turned a forest fire smoky haze into $250 cash at the last ballgame of the season today. (The sun is the red dot on the right just above the trees.)

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litre_cola

Yep, perma campout smell here as is custom the last 7 years.

Horatio Cornblower

Collinsworth wonders how Parsons missed Brady, replay clearly shows Parsons being held, Collinsworth doesn’t acknowledge it.

Parsons eats Brady on the next play anyway.

blaxabbath

What happened to Moose? I need some subtle porn girl .avi to show my pleasure taking this post-game call in show content.

WCS

Brady was sacked? Is that allowed?

Spur

Am still waiting for a flag on the play

litre_cola

The Brady fellating continues full speed ahead folks. There was no warning tap.

Fronkenshteen

you don’t have this on mute, man? glutton for punishment.

Gatoraids

Why Collinsworth throat is shot

LemonJello

No gag reflex on Tirico or Collinsworth.

LemonJello

“Imma eat me a whole shit-load of ice cream at halftime.”
-Coach McCarthy

Spur

Blue Bonnet

blaxabbath

Finally getting to sit down and grab a few mins of the post game show.

So far got a makeup on a pig comment!

Fronkenshteen

Jesus, Dak has about 1.5 seconds to get the ball out. Time to give Pollard some run, and no more gimmicky double reverse shit. YES I BET HE’D RUN FOR OVER 30.5 YARDS GODDAMMIT!!!

Spur

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Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Ma’am it’s nearly fall.

2/10, poor seasonal awareness.

Spur

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