Oh Lordy, did some things happen yesterday! Let’s head over and take a look at a few items.
Fallout:
-Dank Prescott is gone for 6-8 weeks and if you leaned into the ‘Boys hype and got yourself some skill dudes from that squadoo you would appear to be screwed. Without Dank back there defenses are going to “Pack That Box!” vs Zeke. CeeDee Lamb’s breakout season has also been put on hold. Two catches on 11 targets!? And now he gets Cooper Rush. Them Jones Boys done it again, I’ll tell you what!
-T.J. Watt has a torn pec-will he wear down just like his older brother? It might be a bit too quick to jump to that but where else was I going to jump?
-The Cards have switched things up and instead of fading down the stretch Kliff’s Kops are fading straight out of the gate.
-The Giants won their first home opener in six years and are being rewarded with a first place spot in the slovenly NFC East.
To The Game!
Broncos/Seahawks:
-May as well get this revenge game out of the way the first week of the season. One wonders what kind of hellfire Noah Fant will unleash on Denver.
-Pete Carroll insists that nothing is wrong but the Vegas 0/U of a paltry 5.5 wins tells a different story. Carroll has also advocated for “Booing” Russell Wilson when he makes his way on to the field. Classy.
-Kudos to Geno Smith winning the starting job battle-was anyone on the coaching staff awake for the entire thing?
-A Slow Start? Very few Donks starters played minutes in the preseason. I think the Cards took the same approach. Hmmm…
-Courtland Sutton’s prop for catches is 4.5. That appears to be “first half achievable”.
Get at it, lords and ladies.
Here is a list of the crimes donald trump is being investigated for JUST FROM 2016-PRESENT. And the United States criminal justice system can’t put this criminal cocksucker away. Sorry to all the lawyers here, but you work in a completely toothless and useless system that needs to be completely overhauled and streamlined. This is fucking bullshit.
I hope Juedy chokes on a hairy goat dong.
What did I miss?
Just a totally normal HOX game. Nothing really of note happened.
I like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKcbSOjIzjQ
I think every household in the UK has a box of old neked Barbie dolls. Splains a lot.
Honestly, I’m sitting at my bar 2 blocks from Lumen Field, and there are soooooooo many salty Broncos WILSON IS AWESOME AND CAN DO NO WRONG fans that I’m talking shit to, it’s almost, ALMOST, as good of haterade as Brady haterade.
I’m almost basking in these salty years. Almost
Start a rumor he benched himself because he didn’t want to blow it. He has “control of the offense.”
House money.
Oh that is brilliant.
“Playing the long game”
lol
DO IT
Omg if I saw this, I’d have done it. I can totally be a “trusted” source.
Instead I simply laughed at them.
Should have put this in the special request line, but it’s still quality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7mgp8w_ZSM
https://twitter.com/The_SportsPaige/status/1569530649685692416?s=20&t=cvnZTPkyK95zxYt67DURKQ
Just offered Don T Baker Mayfield for the Falcons kicker.
Kickers? What is this fantasy heresy?!
they aren;t even PEOPLE for fuck’s sake!!
Nods. The revolution has begun.
It’s Baker Mayfield.
I think Mrs has Covid round 2 the boogaloo. Or else she has been hauling darts.
both my twins (one in NC, one in CO) have done the double now. Parents still hiolding steady at round one, oldest kid has BY FAR the most exposure and still nada
delayed pneumonia is a thing, if she feels like right crap get her to a doc
We were just in Vegas, plus Deci NOW IN MATERNELLE, will know more tomorrow I reckon
How much coke did the Denver coach do before this press conference?
Don’t care unless he did a Len Bias amount which would be beneficial.
that’s the first belly laugh I’ve had tonite, well done
Or the Wilson post-game
“Let’s ride……home.”
With the L.
I will be offering to trade Baker Mayfield to whomever in my league took Dak Prescott.
I wonder if the Panthers called Dallas just to see
They have to take Sam Darnold at full price, or deal’s off.
If that paste-eater hadn’t gone on IR for his ankle owie, JJ totally would have taken him
Its gonna be Jimmy G
I think you’re right. Unless they decide to go full tank, which they may as well given that offensive line performance yesterday.
Hey NY Times, it is NAWT breaking news that a TV show won an Emmy.
We’re watching the Korean version of “Little Women” and it’s a murder/conspiracy mystery. Not what I was expecting, but pretty interesting.
Was Beth the victim? My money is on Amy, she’s a Bad Seed. But I’d take a flyer on Marmee, or maybe Aunt March!
So…Clam Game
Troy and Joe starring in the new Godzilla movie.
Hey Russ, this steak’s a little undercooked
/tomorrow at HippoWork
“Hey, what’d you think of the game last ni—”
I seriously might put on my “out of office” e-mail thingy and play Footy Manager all day. Or just read like some plebian.
Good call on reading. I’m currently into Watergate: A New History by Garrett Graff because I’m a massive nerd
I am going to add that to my list. It sounds dense, and I need some density.
I’m planning to start this soon. I can guarantee it’s dense.
I’ve been off of non-fiction for a bit because I’ve needed cheering up, while simultaneously being disappointed that I haven’t learned shit recently and am just coasting off all the stuff I learned years ago. It’s not entirely true, but it doesn’t help that I keep accidentally reminding myself of pieces of random-ass shit I learned when I was a kid, like the names of all the different sorts of pennies the US has ever had.
I have to alternate, generally I keep a 2:1 ratio going (heavier on the fiction)
I keep having to put it down because it pisses me off. In a recent chapter they mention Jeb Magruder working on a congressional campaign for fucking Donald Rumsfeld. These bastards are insidious and they all come from the same place.
Yeah, I just can’t right now. I need the sort of non-fiction that’s all about lobsters or similar.
Annals of the Former World – hard to get depressed about geology.
Yes! Thank you! Geology rocks! (yes, I know, shaddup I like puns)
When I was a kid we had a field trip to a really nice syncline that was revealed in the Appalachians when they were building a highway. I still notice those patterns in the rock when I drive through hills, the Appalachians were badass back in the day, the tops now used to be the valleys
I don’t remember where I read this, but don’t think it was “Annals”. All of the hills in WV are the same height because it used to be a plateau. All of the hollows (hollers) and valleys were eroded into the plateau. The technical term is ‘dissected plateau’ (see below). Mind. Blown.
This is out of “Annals”. If you had to describe the Earth’s geology in a single sentence, it would be, “The highest place on Earth is made of marine limestone.”
Of course they do. Who else are they going to hire? They don’t put out want ads.
A new history! By a guy born ten years after it happened. Sounds good to me!
Spoiler alert:
Third-rate burglary -> Woodward & Bernstein (Robert Redford & Dustin Hoffman) tell everyone that they solved what everyone knew all along -> Nixon resigns -> the magnificent Ford Era dawns in our great nation -> Billy Carter exists -> Reaganomics
That Ford pardon really boned us huh.
Nah, it was probably the right thing to do. Everything else was going going to happen anyway.
I lived through Watergate and it was all within walking distance and I was closer to the actual people than I realized. That was a great time to be a kid. Bicentennial!
EDIT: Nobody fucking saw Billy Carter coming, but alas we are a richer country because of it.
This shit bores everyone, but I don’t care.
Lost 169.25 to 168, and I had Charmslinger and Javonte. So…kicking that field goal was great, thanks dickwad Hackett.
Oof. My apologies sir.
Thanks. You’re bored yet polite.
(Also, other money league, needed CD Lamb to get 40 yards…he got 29, gonna be that kiuda year)
Wait til next week when no Dallas WR puts up more than 19 yards.
I don’t see the problem here.
We’ve just been given permission to have nice things
He’s at least 2 generations behind. MP3 Lamb and Streaming Lamb have both outpaced him, although he is quite durable and holds value after being used.
Took me a second, but well done.
I barely eked out a win this week. Fantasy football be a cruel mistress
I really shouldn’t be swimming this pilled up, but I does whatever the voices in me head say
Hey, excellent nostrils above water form
OBIWANGENOBI
These Broncos coaches are shit
How long before “word out of Wilson’s camp is Russ is unhappy with the playcalling “
Not the world’s biggest Russ fan, but in this case he’d be right.
Crazy not to trust your new gunslinger QB to win you the game Denver
In a revenge game no less
Pictured: hippo eating his pain away
PRO FAT GUY TIP – Brushed teeth before kickoff, so would nae shame/stress eat.
That’s smart Healthing!
FAT GUY REALITY – Would not stop me
My laziness then has a chance to compete with my lack of impulse control
It’s amazing how well arbitrary stuff learned in childhood sticks
nawt an awful attempt, but don’t think I agree that it was a better idea than a Hail Mary
Or like…getting a 1st down
The loss is well-deserved, even if not on Wilson
6-11
Just so you know, I really, deeply hate you. 😀
WOOOO
I held on too, since no Wilson pick, or JeudyPoints on the drive.
Small consolation to bad playcalling?
Correct. But I’d rather have the real-life win. They look like they’s gonna be hard to come by.
Despite playing Baker Mayfield over Josh Allen, I scraped out a win by less than 3 points. Javonte Williams on the last drive made the difference.
Checkdowns are fantasy manna from heaven.
.5 every time, baby.
0.8 in my money league!
My apologies for my jest.
Oh, I richly deserved all the scorn I’m not kidding myself about that.
Good game. Wilson will have his moments
Is hippo okay? Someone send a search party with beer
Beer and pills.
yeah after the Javante fumble I kind of made peace with the inevitable loss
What in the actual fuck
THEY DID NOT TRUST WILSON TO WIN THIS GAME HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
FUCK THE BRONCOS THOSE PUSSIES
Nope
Oh, great. We’re going to war with England…again.
Donald Trump post saying queen knighted him is fake (msn.com)
Its fake (thank God), but you know Trump would say something like this.
He could never, EVER keep sommet like that quiet
Hippo like this call?
No, but I didn’t feel that strongly either way. McManus has the leg, but you are looking 15-20% odds either way I guess.
Can’t. Get that 5, call timeout.
Getting the 5 is like 50/50, but the kick is still very difficult, so I think the maths sucks either way
Don’t try to justify it. Horrible decision.
It was BAD – but it was a 70/30 call, not like a 90/10
You have that receiver corps, keep the running back to block. throw it 5 yards.
but you saw how hard it was to get 5 yards that whole drive/Q4. OL is still a significant problem.
Wilson has always held the ball too long. Big plays sometimes, disappointing results far too often.
Sample sizes aren’t great for longer kicks, but if we go with getting the 5 as 50/50, which seems reasonable, then it comes down to how much the kick percentages change with the extra distance. I would say your estimate of 15-20% for the 64 yarder is generous, I would go more like 10%, but if we split the difference and say 15%, then we would need a 30% chance of making it at 59 yards to break even. Historically, those are about 40%, so I think trying to get closer was probably correct
Disclaimer, this is quick and halfassed, but I still think it’s correct
64 is too long. Way too long.
Yeah, percentages drop quick after 60. Probably a decent rule of thumb is never try to break or tie a record unless you are just fucking around or have no other option.
yeah that is about where my spitball maths was headed
Manning looking disappointed is hilarious
Moar like Brandon McMissus.
This would be a really bad time for a delay of game
Andy Reid beams with pride
Beams? Can we talk? – P Carroll.
they’re gonna kick it
His tore his patella so hard, it also tore his pant sleeve.
Shouldnt that be intentional grounding?
Must have been an eligible receiver in the area? Or maybe it was so obviously a fuck up that the refs had existential issues calling it intentional?
He was trying to pull it back, so no intent component satisfied
In the pocket, no one home.
That looked offside by a mile
This Hippo also wondered but I am very pill-addled
Good thing SEA won’t need that 2nd timeout neither