Your Absolutely Mandatory London NFL Game Open Thread

In “The NFL Drops the Ball: Part Infinity” they didn’t make the Vikings the temporary home team. Has the league never picked up a history book? Jeebuz!

To The Game!

Vikings/Saints:

-Contrary to that Bugs Bunny opera documentary you watched, the Vikings never wore horns on their helmets. That was done by English writers in order to (literally) demonize those merry bands of rapists and pillagers. The truth of the matter is that they wore butterfly wings on their helmets.

-According to the written record, Vikings began ‘visiting’ Britain back in 793. It may have occurred before that time-something written by Ealdwulf The Super Scribbler indicating an earlier time may have gone up in flames in some monastery burned down by those very same visitors. Irony!

-As far as the Saints are concerned, keep an eye out for Cuthbert. He’s a triple threat in that he can play the monk, bishop or hermit positions.

-Due to injury the Vikes are playing Ragnar Lodbrok at tight end-he’s got soft hands and a mighty broadsword that can lop the head off a cb quite easily.

-The Saints are 3 1/2 point dogs. Will they pull off the upset like Alfred The Great of Wessex did, defeating The Great Heathen Army at The Battle of Edington in 878?

-Vikings defensive front line featuring Ivar the Boneless and his brothers Ubba, Bjorn Ironside, Hvitserk and Sigurd Snake-In-The-Eye is plenty intimidating and if forced to, will give Andy Dalton the old Blood Eagle if he doesn’t renounce his Christian beliefs before the end of the third quarter.

-Grizzled Saint Luna of Thorney, a linebacker/hermit out of Northumbrian State is said to be a relic but I’m thinking there’s still some mead left in the tank.

-This could come down to the kicking game and though some call him a bishopric behind his cloak, Waltheof of Melrose is a placekicker par excellence. He’ll be sporting the latest in foot fashion, the vaunted “Crakow shoe”-some say the 2 1/2 foot upturned poulaine is a bit much but I’ll bet you three months worth of tithes that he gets the job done.

Watch with me, will you?

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
203 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Half is enough. I think i can leave the rest of this football like substance to the limeys now that I’m done with my bike ride. Pip pip cheerio.

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

So are we just not calling ‘blow to the head’ any more?

Spur

For Kirk?…eh

Spur

Way didn’t the Viks get a young QB in the draft?

Horatio Cornblower

You don’t get rid of your Cousins the year you get to play before the royal family.

Dunstan

That excellent intro reminds me to recommend the British History Podcast. The host is an amateur historian but really puts in the work of going to primary sources, and presenting it in an entertaining way.

He’s also a former lawyer who turned the podcast into his full-time gig, so I am a little jealous.

Doktor Zymm

It’s kind of weird to refer to grown men that Dreamboat throws to as “toys” yes?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sorry, what?

clint greasewood

Toys like these

https://imgur.com/2ChxjWH

Redshirt

Yup, that the Dalton I know and love: equal parts “safe” and “…the fuck was that?!”

Doktor Zymm

Longships Ho!

Gumbygirl

The best thing about Andy Dalton playing for the Saints is that we don’t have to see him wearing orange anymore.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY CHRIS OLAVE I CALL HIM TEQUILA BECAUSE HIS NAME INCLUDES THE SUFFIX “-AVE” AND HE FACILITATES SCORING.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
King Hippo

Here come the City-zen walkons!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh when the Saints!
Go marching in!
Oh when the Saints go marching into Kirk’s spleen!

Spur

And when that spleen, begins to rupture
When that spleen, begins to rupture
Oh, how I want that to be on TV
When that spleen, begins to rupture

Redshirt

And when the coach, put him in.
When that coach puts him back in
Oh, how I want to be that guy’s lawyer
When that coach puts him back in

King Hippo

Men Untied should put Ronaldo in goal.

Doktor Zymm

This week on NFL Netwrork: “Our American Cousins” – An awkward and cloddish American embarrases himself in front of the English, if viewing live avoid the box seats

Horatio Cornblower

After reading that it’s time to fire up ‘Vikings’ for another watch.

comment image

Lagertha could get it, and by “get” I mean “intercept” and by “it” I mean a pass from Jameis Winston.

Spur

Morning Folks

litre_cola

Hat trick for Scotchy’s viking Haaland.

Sharkbait

Again?

King Hippo
Horatio Cornblower

Doesn’t he ever get bored with scoring all those goals?

Brick Meathook

Everyone has worked with this woman:

comment image

Sharkbait

Its uncanny how much that looks like Kyrsten Sinema

Horatio Cornblower

Funny way to spell “deeply disturbing”

BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy

How cruel is America that these people had their queen die and we inflict Andy Dalton on them?

Gumbygirl

Payback for the Stamp Act.

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, i just remembered I have a fantasy interest in this game with Mattison

Horatio Cornblower

Same, but with the NO defense.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And Olave on my bench. Oops.

Doktor Zymm

It’s good to know that GMT prime time is still prime time enough for Cousins to throw INTs

Gumbygirl

He sucks on two continents!

King Hippo

A Dingleberry FOAR Brekkie

Don T

Donal Yandel T reporting for mandatory. Belatedness due to being deep in administrative work crap (🔪) that made me keep Thielen on the bench.
Dammit!

King Hippo

Bring on the Xmas ham, that’ll fix us right up! – Erik t. H., Manchester, UK

Gumbygirl

Aside from Hippo, the Canadians, and our man in Italy, everyone else here is on the Best Coast. Where the fuck is everyone else?

ballsofsteelandfury

In Dreamland?

Gumbygirl

Bastards. Not my favorites.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I slept in but fine, I’ll hop on the stationary bike and watch for a little

Doktor Zymm

I assume they are big sunrise yoga fans

2Pack

No NFL Network as part of their home entertainment package apparently. AFN don’t do us like dat.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll get up early for Arsenal-Tottenham.

Vikings vs. Saints can damn well wait.

King Hippo

Robbie Mustoe reminding us what a great adjective “shambolic” is.

Brick Meathook

comment image

King Hippo

When they told Dingleberry he’s have to play during JEEBUS HOURS

Gumbygirl

That’s scary!

Doktor Zymm

I could theoretically move my flight a day earlier in a couple weeks and try to get a ticket to the next London game. Probably nae worth the bother, but an intruiging possibility

litre_cola

Craven Cottage is a lovely spot on the Thames. History, you can party in Hammersmith, and Mighty Whitey!

Horatio Cornblower

Plus, I understand if you go to Fulham you can see Chelsea’s stadium!

King Hippo

Don’t forget to pack your vintage Kerrigan!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I saw the Bears at Wembley years ago and it was worth it for the atmosphere (and Brits asking you to explain things)

Doktor Zymm

They can teach me cockney and I can teach them Hippo!

Doktor Zymm

Sugar-free red bull

litre_cola

Coffee. Sober October for me. Things got away from me a couple times in Sept. Time to take a step back.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So I shouldn’t ask you how the Bourbon was?

2Pack

Aqua naturale

King Hippo

Caffeinated V-8!

Gumbygirl

I have warm water sitting overnight on my nightstand. I said I’d wake up for the game, didn’t say I’d get out of bed!

ballsofsteelandfury

Celsius Vibrant Peach

clint greasewood

Bloody Maria

Brick Meathook

Oxycodone and brake fluid

King Hippo

THIS GUY gets it!

Horatio Cornblower

Mix of orange juice and pomegranate juice.

Mock me accordingly

Spur

Sweet Tea

Doktor Zymm

I just realized I accidentally scheduled a massage during the first half of the late games. Good thing I am getting in some extra football now. This is also a golden opportunity to make a lot of noise right next to my loud neighbors’ bedroom wall!

2Pack

Your messages produce loud noise?

ballsofsteelandfury

She plays QB for the Browns in her spare time.

Doktor Zymm

Travel laptop playing the game right next to the common wall, priceless

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m only here so I don’t get fined.

Fuck, it’s early!

King Hippo

Smacks ass. HARD!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m here! And I brought an old friend!

comment image

King Hippo

Eek!

King Hippo

Foden makes it Fo’

litre_cola

Grealish is a cunt.

Horatio Cornblower

Settle down, Ed Geins.

Gumbygirl

Seems kind of early for the Saints to be playing the prevent defense. Just seems kind of early!

King Hippo

I’d be ok with him re-crippling Joe Theisman too

Horatio Cornblower

The combination of him and The Broom is just unfair.

King Hippo

Sounds like Bruno Lage might win the sack race agead of Monday Night Footy:

https://theathletic.com/3608398/2022/10/02/bruno-lage-wolves-future/

litre_cola

Will he beat Scott Frost? – Blair Witch

Doktor Zymm

This is officially my favorite game intro ever.

If the Saints do pull off the win, they will have to be very wary and weary as they rush south for their next encounter, although lucky for them they already speak rudimentary French and Geno Smith is no Duke William.

litre_cola

There is your Haaland gol Scotchy

King Hippo

And there’s your Hulk SMASH worldy for the double

litre_cola

There is your 2nd Haaland gol Scotchy

yeah right

Yeah right present and reasonably accounted for!

litre_cola

Well you should be, your Vikes are playing.

King Hippo

Yikes. Probably Geno??

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know my position on Geno

King Hippo

My sound is on the Mancs, has Sanchez weighed in on the British high schools yet?

2Pack

He’s certainly running his mouth in every available second on everything else.

Gumbygirl

Fuck You, I mean good morning. Is it just my feed that has problems, or is it everybody’s? The picture is ok, it’s the audio.

litre_cola

Take some edibles to equalize it all.

King Hippo

Next! The Reddest Little Rocket

2Pack

Some porn for Brick.

FB_IMG_1664704242352.jpg
2Pack

So Cousins and Dalton have some history in London. A tie in 2016. We don’t need that.

King Hippo

but would make Harry Fuckface Kane feel right at home!

litre_cola

Good to see Ronaldo on the bench! I am sure he is fine with that.

King Hippo

Hey whatever is best FOAR the side

King Hippo

I feel like I should really start both Cook and Founding Fathers, but am a coward so Cook and Horny Fourny it is.

King Hippo

It is stream only in Canadia’s pants, so will be very easy for Hippo!

litre_cola

All futbol is streaming up here in yer hat, ‘cept something called the MLS.

litre_cola

Right, The odd Bundelsiga game unless you own Sportsnet world, and the odd La Liga game if there is nothing else for their 5 channels on TSN.

King Hippo

Silly, that is SOCCER nae footy!

blaxabbath

Ahhh NFL London — because what smart nation doesn’t just welcome the NFL ownership cartel with open arms?

Brick Meathook

Is this game on TV?