Your “It’s 4 O’Clock (EST), Do You Know Where Your Game Is?” NFL Football Open Thread

To The Games!

Cards/Panthers:

Woe is you if this is your only offering on this slate. CMC is listed as “Dicey” but should play. (Can we please have some alternate injury designations? How about ‘Probable’ being, “Likely Gonna Go” or ‘Questionable’ being, “That’s a big 50-50, good buddy!”) No doubt Kliffo and Matt have a side bet as to who lasts longer-loser pays the bill (and stiffs the server) at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Pats/Packers:

With Macadamia Jones out, outer Boston turns to vet Brian Hoyer, who has lost his last 11 starts. Perhaps his 3.6 completed air yards per game since 2018 has something to do with that. It’s always and forever about Qaron of course but Green Bay’s D has stepped up, allowing a mere 15 points per tilt so far.

Broncos/Raiders:

The AFC West was supposed to be the rootenist, tootenist division that the NFL ever saw and then the Raiders hired McDaniel, who didn’t get the email. A Raider win would muddy the water a bit but I’d much rather they sink up to their chin, especially if it’s because Russell Magic finally manifests itself again.

/this post is well short of the self-imposed 250 words limit that writers on this site like to adhere to but Jeebuz, there’s not very much going on in this slate’s offering

//after my hospital stay I was put on a 6 pill regimen that would cause Hippo to be all kinds of jelly (14 words to go. Oops, now 11, I mean 7)

Make love in the comments or something

 

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Horatio Cornblower

Tonight on CBS: Chicago Fire Country.

fleshwound_NPG
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s awesome

Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

Carr rocks the smokey eye like a Jersey girl!

Col. Duke LaCross

God I hate the Patriots, but at the same time, I enjoy seeing Rodgers eat shit.

Horatio Cornblower

Same

Game Time Decision

Same and I’m a packer fan

fleshwound_NPG

hes gonna have a worse comp % today than fields!

ballsofsteelandfury

New England QB right now:

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Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Remember what I said about the Raiders giving up cheap points before halftime?

Spur

Donks have players cards too

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, ROB RYAN IS ON THE LAS VEGAS RAIDERS????

How have we not created a series of posts on The Wolfman in Vegas???

Gumbygirl

And his hair was perfect.

King Hippo

Sling. MOAR. Charm.

King Hippo

Wolfman Rob is still in the organization??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had no idea myself.

Horatio Cornblower

Why is Patricia wearing the Italian flag on his team pullover, and how is that not getting a fine from the NFL?

King Hippo

One of them placement-types (DET??) had a Kraut flag on his helmet.

Don T

Belichick has a Croatian flag. A papist after my heart!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Probably excited that the fascists are in control again.

fleshwound_NPG

to be fair belichick said be to help the pats be more offensive and, well, he is

Horatio Cornblower

I know we’re concerned about health, and that’s good, but I absolutely cannot stand that QBs are allowed to intentionally ground without any consequences aside from an incomplete pass.

The defense needs to get something out of forcing a QB to do it, maybe the next down from the point where the QB threw it, or 5 yards, or heck, 10 yards and loss of down seemed fun back in the day.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You could just make every incompletion into -2 yards.

Dunstan

I don’t understand — the existing rule calls for loss of down and spot of the foul or 10 yards.

Are you saying it isn’t called enough, or do you not like the “outside the tackle box and the throw goes to the line of scrimmage” exception?

Horatio Cornblower

Good point. The exception is what I hate.

Dunstan

Not sure what I think about that. I get what you’re saying, but in addition to the injury point, I like QBs rolling out of the pocket and creating some excitement and don’t want to discourage that.

fleshwound_NPG

i am rather enjoying the broncos’ strategy of keeping josh mcdaniels employed for as long as possible

makeitsnowondem

It’ll pan out in the long run.

King Hippo

Just like Charmslinger’s 7-year deal!!

eyes longingly at wrist veins

Horatio Cornblower

Across for attention, up-and-down for results.

Horatio Cornblower

Taking Jonathan Taylor with the first overall pick is not proving to be as productive as taking him with the 11th pick last year was.

makeitsnowondem

I don’t know who thought they could name a football player Melvin but I think it’s clear now that they made a mistake.

King Hippo

He’s been quite the Melvin this season, inshallah.

Horatio Cornblower

As someone currently need Javonte Williams to put up something eleventybillion points, I concur.

King Hippo

BUT TEH PASS BLOCKING???!!!1111

King Hippo

I think I am Reacting Reasonably. FIRE MELVIN GORDON INTO THE SUN.

Don T

6-pill odds (-135)

King Hippo

The nap has me behind the chains, but I am quite determined to catch up.

King Hippo

This is the Darkest Timeline, huh?

fleshwound_NPG

“he’s as quick as a hiccup!”

harlan, what

Don T

Qards @ Panthers putting on a Clinic of Sissyphusball

King Hippo

Can’t wait for the half-ending missed FG or saddest of Hail Marys.

fleshwound_NPG

josh mcdaniels WANTS to be fired today

King Hippo

I mean, after yesterday, it takes a lot to get Hippo tumescent. But that’d do.

LemonJello

Raiders…lead?!?? Am I concussed? Please tell me I’m not Tua!

Dunstan

That’s Rikki’s Raiders?????

Dunstan

At least they missed the extra point to reassure us they’re still them.

Don T

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fleshwound_NPG

it doesnt matter what incarnation the lions have been the past 30 years

still the same 1-3 team

Petronel

So if Bilbo Zapruder gets killed…we don’t know who would get to cosplay Tahmmy out there?

Don T

Patriots upgrade Hoyer to out.

Brick Meathook

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Game Time Decision

Better tackle than anything Cutler ever made

Petronel

Your ‘beetus pill can cause an infection in the skin of the perineum?

OH HELL NAW

LemonJello

The Greatriots are down to their 3rd string QB?

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Game Time Decision

And yet beating Qaron..lol

LemonJello

Not no mo’

King Hippo

That play was the Koack Kliff Qards in a nutshell.

LemonJello

Koach Kalls Krap?

makeitsnowondem

AT&T Lily is the LeBron James of making dudes act real weird online.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is it weird that I made out with her in an elevator? I don’t normally do that; it’s weird for me.

Gumbygirl

Licking your phone is not “making out with her”, ya big weirdo!

blaxabbath

Phil Snow auditioning for Kliff Kingsbury’s job.

Petronel

What the heck Is a …Baylor Zippy?

King Hippo

Bring Me The Zappe!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I presume after this game the Raiders will be ranked last in power rankings, which is where they belong.

LemonJello

Jeudy make some disparaging comments about nanobubbles? Why no receptions?

Also, Hoyer country may have just been annexed by Zappe

Last edited 2 years ago by LemonJello
Petronel

Yep, Hoyer left

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Don T

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LemonJello

GrumblegrumbleYouveGotMyAttentiongrumblegrumble

King Hippo

<3 <3 <3

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

LemonJello

Unconfirmed.

King Hippo

I made a #ShameBet, we need to pull through. DONKS WOO!!!!

LemonJello

So, is this Hoyer country?

blaxabbath

What was NWO Red? The Raiders should work that into their alternate uniform combo.

Imagine the gear sales of just adding some red in there two games a year….

Spur

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blaxabbath

Isn’t there like a story to it?

And Kevin Nash? I remember him from the video game.

blaxabbath

I like Baker Mayfield. I’d like to see him and the other Browns QB’s start doing films, a la Broken Lizard.

Don T

Bring in Brian Cox as OC.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Gumbygirl

How do you feel about ” malarkey”
Is that a guaranteed buried under the jail offence?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[sees that the Raiders are in the red zone]

[goes to fold laundry knowing all they will score is a field goal]

blaxabbath

I am a month unto using Sudster. Pretty sure I’m a convert.

blaxabbath

JUST SAW THE SCORE!

RAIDERS HAVE THREE!

blaxabbath

I’m being inducted into my hs sports hall of fame on Friday. Only took 20+ years.

So, sorry Kliff Kingsbury you idiot, I’m off to Men’s Warehouse.

LemonJello

Say “Hi!” to Buddy Cole from the clubhouse.

Petronel

Huh. Pats/Pack feed was some interesting Impressionist art for a few seconds there.

LemonJello

Here too.

Petronel

Nah, as long at it doesn’t happen again this Cezanne.

Spur

Its must win for that Raiders coach right. Win or you’re fired.

ballsofsteelandfury

BRING BACK GRUDEN!

blaxabbath

I see UA got Colorado’s coach fired. I’ve never gotten anyone’s coach fired but I’d be proud of such an accomplishment.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nah. He’s there for a year at least.

ballsofsteelandfury

Somehow I’ve added RedZone to my Fubo package without realizing it and I’m a happy dude.

Game Time Decision

RedZone is my favoUrite. Tell the others.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[runs off crying] – Frozone

Don T

That and TNF has been my NFL offer. Can live with!

LemonJello

I’m stuck with Grumblelord V Q-aron. I’d rather watch That’s Rikki’s Raiders flail about against DONKS WOO!

ArmedandHammered

This slate of games is like anti-football. Gonna have to be Raiders- Broncos for lolz.

Petronel

Just got dumped to it from another game, and enjoying it so far! (Will enjoy more if the Loins can get the win!)

Last edited 2 years ago by Petronel
Game Time Decision

Last possession wins

Mr. Ayo

And it ends in Scorigami!

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