Your “Horsey vs. Horsey” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

So, um, why is Denver getting another prime time game after they acquitted themselves so terribly just two weeks ago? Ours is not to wonder why, we should just watch and hope that the two strugglebacks under center somehow turn things around tonight. Vegas has only two other games that feature a lower over/under than this one. (one of them is the mandatory Giants/Packers London tilt. Gah.)

Newsy Notes:

-That delusional animal rights activist insists on keeping himself in the news by filing a police report regarding him getting clocked by Bobby Wagner after running onto the field last week. Can you do that if you’re still in concussion protocol? Perhaps he should go back to throwing red paint on heiresses wearing mink coats or whatever.

-Ever the situational contrarian, Qaron insists that he would like to stay in London longer. (preferably on the team’s shilling or pound or Euro, I’m guessing)

-Speaking of the game yet again, Tyrod is still concussed and will be travelling with the team. Meanwhile, Dimes was a limited participant in practice. We know how this thing will go-if Dimes can’t make it, Tyrod will be magically cleared late on Saturday afternoon. Actually, he’ll be cleared no matter what, in case Dimes re-injures himself during the game. I’m not cynical, you’re cynical for calling me cynical.

To The Game!

Colts/Broncs:

-Adjustment Problems? Matt Ryan was my sneaky pick to have a great year with a new team. Well, he’s turned the ball over 8 times and been sacked 15 times. That o-line is doing him no favors.

-His partner on the other side of the pasture was so glad to get away from a franchise that was run-first, had a lousy o-line and a good defense. So, thank beJezuz he ended up on a run-first team with a lousy o-line and a good defense.

-Both teams are without their flashy rb’s but Indy is also without a starting safety, linebacker and defensive end.

-Shortcake Backfield? Mighty mites Nyheim Hines (5’9″, a buck 95) and Phillip Lindsay (5’8″, 190) should have a great time running between the tackles tonight. Good luck and good night.

-The Broncos rb Gordo has 70% of the backfield to himself-one would think-despite fantasy dudes running to pick up Mike Boone. The latter failed to pick up a handful of blitzes and dropped two easy passes when he was called into action last week. If Gordo continues to fumble the ball it will be good old Latavius Murray (inactive tonight) that will be picking up the slack. (and the blitzes)

Do that thing with your digits.

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Senor Weaselo

Fun fact: Szechuan peppercorns makes Senor’s Pepper Spray seasoning less painful… because you go numb instead!

BeefReeferLives

“Baby, have I got an idea for you…”

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Last edited 2 years ago by BeefReeferLives
King Hippo

I 100% go for it here

King Hippo

The best part of the Humps going to 1-2-2 would be the possibility of 1-2-3

clint greasewood

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BeefReeferLives

‘Nother ded horsey…

Bob Baffert would love this game.

Mr. Ayo

RIP the holding and diving legend Bolles.

King Hippo

Whoever the backup is can’t be worse.

/watches the backup be CONSIDERABLY worse

makeitsnowondem

Look: He’s been holding a lot less and diving a lot smarter.

Beerguyrob

Star of one episode of my Seahawks draft preview , “It’s All Gone Wrong, Pete & John”

JimU

As bad as this game is, next week’s Commies-Bearistocrats game might be worse.

Doktor Zymm

Hopefully a lower body count at least

Beerguyrob

“There can’t be as many injuries,” said the man whose fantasy team lost Nyhelm Hines after three plays tonight.

King Hippo

Did Hippo take Latavius Murray ahead of Mike Boone in waivers? BY JEHOVAH HE DID

King Hippo

WHY would you accept a penno instead of 3rd and long??

Mr. Ayo

He can’t Nathaniel it as a coach.

King Hippo

This is most excellent commenting, Good Sir

King Hippo

I can only hope that Baron Browning one day has a daughter, and names her Elizabeth.

King Hippo

(also that he learns the motherfucking offsides rule)

Redshirt

At this point, I’m only watching to see if Amazon Prime’s Live Win Percentage chart shows a Tie option.

Doktor Zymm

How does Nevada only have 3 Superfund sites? Hell, even the U.S. Virgin Islands have 2 and we never did atomic testing there!

Mr. Ayo

I blame Kelsey Grammer

King Hippo

Everybody for Brett Rypien’s shitty kid to show how he can one up the first two QBs??

clint greasewood

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Gumbygirl

” Somebody’s going to end up winning this game!”
I’m rooting for the meteor. Now would be fine.

Redshirt

Russell Wilson in the Medical Glue Tent?

TheRevanchist

Time for nano-bubbles!

Sharkbait

BLEERGH makes his presence known.

TheRevanchist

Pretty sure BLEERGH is doing is begging to be put down at this point.

Beerguyrob

Thanks to DK Metcalf, every time I now see a cart on the field for a player I think the guy has to poop.

Doktor Zymm

How much more toxic waste does this game need to dump on the field before it’s declared a Superfund site?

WCS

That happened five hours before kickoff.

Doktor Zymm

That would explain the negative effect being on the field is having on the health of the players

Mr. Ayo

Russ read the defense just like Lea Micheal there.

makeitsnowondem

Man. Tough but fair.

Gumbygirl

Like Helen Keller.

Sharkbait

What the cinnamon toast fuck was that pass?

I feel bad for Mrs. Sharkbait. She started Wilson tonight.

TheRevanchist

Playing “Let’s Get Rocked” while a player is down is the kind of broadcasting we deserve.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, gonna have to tear myself away from the riveting ESPN gamecast to tidy up the kitchen. Sure hope I don’t miss anything exciting!

makeitsnowondem

I already did this, does anyone else have another excuse I can use?

Sharkbait

Make a drink?

King Hippo

Place-Ment-RANGE!

Mr. Ayo

Arm punt?

Mr. Ayo

This 4th quarter needs to put a proper cap on this game by ending someone’s season with a pointless and gruesome injury.

To match the pointless and gruesome injury to Hines that kicked this whole ordeal off.

Mr. Ayo

Haven’t these cancer survivors suffered enough?

JFC, get them away from this puppy abortion!

TheRevanchist

Cancer awareness? This whole scene is a cancer on my TV!

Redshirt

Soul-Crushing, Fun-Evading, Question-All-Decisions-You’ve-Made-To-Lead-Yourself-To-Watching-This-Game Insurmountable Lead Alert!

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
TheRevanchist

Now the Colts have a whole quarter to tie this up. I want OT ending in a tie just to see who gets fired by Saturday.

Sharkbait

Nice Score

King Hippo

I remember when Judge Jeudy at least pretended to try.

Mr. Ayo

In. Com. Plete!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– the currently public list of Herschel Walker’s out-of-wedlock children

Gumbygirl

Including the abortions?

King Hippo

Just kick the FG on 3rd down.

Redshirt

This game has descended into a “Which QB Gets Benched First” contest.

King Hippo

Just kick the FG on 2nd down.

Sharkbait

Excellent field position. How will the Broncos fuck up this drive?

A) Turnover
B) lose 8+ yards in 3 plays
c) Miss the FG

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re watching a Korean show called “Our Blues”. It’s about people who live on Jeju island; their trials and tribulations. The current episode is about a son and his mother who is dying of stomach cancer. It’s far less sad than TNF, from the sound of it.

Doktor Zymm

I’m guessing you’re at least getting some awesome scenic background shots of lava tubes, so that’s a clear advantage

LemonJello

Offensive play is offensive. On both sides.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Mr. Ayo

Also, WTF was that throw? What exactly did he see there that wasn’t an INT?

King Hippo

In Matty Ice’s defense, Caden Sterns WAS open. Just like last time!

litre_cola

Herbstreit is one of us! Rejected the premise that Drunk Uncle Al was peddling.

King Hippo

Frank Reich looks like a creeper middle school janitor

jjfozz

Al Michael’s, eyeing up a Kitty Dukakis Cocktail

Sharkbait

What a fantastic show.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone needs to call 0118-999-881-999-119-725…3 and report this game as some kind of criminal act.

Doktor Zymm

I need to binge rewatch all of it. I’m going to wear my FriendFace t-shirt to the London office next week and become instant best friends with anyone who gets the reference.

Sharkbait

Mutombo’d!

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King Hippo

Realized I better shut the window if I’mma shout “goddamnit” this late on a worknight

Mr. Ayo

More like McBlockus

jjfozz

going outside to watch two slugs fuck

Sharkbait

Can we get a David Attenborough-esque narration of the event?

Brocky

Do slugs even have genitals?

Doktor Zymm

Maybe they have prehensile genitals!