Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Oh yay, the struggling Broncos get another prime time game-I think that’s the third in six weeks. Of course, they’ll likely make me look silly by playing competently. Bastards, all of them.

Fallout:

-Hollywood Brown’s injury was that bad, so bad they jumped the gun and brought in malcontent Robby Anderson. I might be reaching but I can’t help but think that Anderson is not a very positive person.

-Jack Easterby is out of the Houston organization and it’s likely that many folks are happy. Seriously, it was difficult to find any talking heads that said anything good about him. Ok, maybe Chris Frantz but he gets along with everybody. How does a “Character Coach” mutate into an “Executive Vice President of Football Operations” with little to no qualifications? I guess by being an ambitious, smarmy, ingratiating lap dog. He’s no doubt wondering where his god is now.

-Belichick’s long slog towards the coach’s all-time win record continues apace. Yesterday he tied George Halas at 324. Shula is sitting at 347, a mere 2 1/2 seasons away.

To The Game!

Broncos/Chargers:

-Certainly Denver’s D has held up their end of the bargain, allowing a mere 15 points per game. They’ve not allowed any thrower of the ball to get beyond 200 yards which is impressive/likely ends tonight.

-The Chargers run game (Austin Ekeler, really) struggled mightily until Ekeler ran for a beastly 173 after averaging only 35 per tilt to that point.

-Are the Broncos having an injury problem? Well, they lead the league in the amount of salary that sits in the IR/PUP/NFI designations. The number is north of 76 million-the Titans occupy second with 48 million.

-Keenan Allen, while close, is not hopping on the field this evening which likely means that Mike Williams gets shut down by Patty Surtain, unless he can win a few jump balls. Surtain hasn’t allowed a TD this year and has only surrendered 143 yards to wideouts.

Make with the dick jokes below.

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Gumbygirl

I’m going to read, my darling dears. Au revoir!

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Mr. Ayo
Recovery Whiskey

Dunking on Wilson is getting easier every week. Sorry Donks fans.

Mr. Ayo

Wait, the HOX have the DONKS WOO first round pick next year.

Huzzah! That’s currently pick #7!

Recovery Whiskey

Schneider and Carroll will deal it off for 6 picks in the 5th round, certain they will land on the next Richard Sherman

Mr. Ayo

Um, they already drafted Tariq.

Mission accomplished! Need a new Kam though.

Recovery Whiskey

The new Kam would get flagged for hitting a defenseless receiver or leading with the helmet on about half of his tackles.

Last edited 2 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Brick Meathook

Russell Wilson needs more Jesus, like that kicker. That kicker has lots of Jesus, as he will tell you at every opportunity.

Recovery Whiskey

Smart of the Chargers to match Denver in the Jesus column. That was the key to the game

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How many Jesusy players do we need to hear from before the smiting starts?

WCS

Not going to happen with Stabby still alive.

TheRevanchist

What Would Ciara Do? That is the real question we should be asking ourselves.

Recovery Whiskey

Shop for Russ’s next awards show outfit

ThePirateSloth

Did someone start a light switch rave once the Chargers kicked that FG? gonna give people a seizure LA stadium employees!

ballsofsteelandfury

Brocky, if this doesn’t make you quit fantasy football forever, I don’t know what will.

Brocky

Shanklor, I have never prayed to you before, I have tongue for it.

I beg you to help me now!

And if you don’t, THEN TO HELL WITH YOU!!!

Mr. Ayo

*God pokes Brocky in the eye*

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
SonOfSpam

you misspelled “ass”

WCS

Shan’klor has yet to make an appearance tonight…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I guess those “intercept cancer” shirts worked and now these teams are cancer.

Brick Meathook

How will the Chargers fuck this up . . .

Brocky

God has parted the clouds and spread his cheeks.

Batten down the hatches because we have a literal shit storm brewing

King Hippo

teevee box is off, fuck this fucking fuckshit

Recovery Whiskey

Can you call a penalty on Denver for interference and nullify the play?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

AN 8 SECOND DRIVE? COME THE FUCK ON! JUST TIE ALREADY!

WCS

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Pill-O-Meter

Redshirt

Can you block a player into a kick?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

About to find out

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apparently yes

Mr. Ayo

DONKS NOOOO!!!

Mr. Ayo

One single play killing two club members. Incredible. Sorry in advance, Brocky.

Redshirt

Fair Catch Kick or We Gripe!

King Hippo

YES, run clock run. HIPPO WANTS A FG ATTEMPT TO WIN OR DRAW

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I want to go to sleep but can’t look a tie in the mouth.

King Hippo

Did I used to like FITBAW? If so, why???

Brocky

Because you have 3 superbowls in the last 30 years

Recovery Whiskey

We’ve secretly replaced Russell Wilson’s playbook with Pete Carroll’s 9-11 conspiracy notes. Let’s see if anyone notices.

WCS

Blue-80! Blue-80! Alex Jones was right! 54 is the mike! Jet fuel doesn’t that! Set! HIKE!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let Steel Melt!

Mr. Ayo

Run, run, pass? Never seen this offense before.

WCS

A tie is what these head coaches deserve.

Brocky

. Yes ….. I totally don’t have ulterior motives. ..