Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: This October in F*** You (ALCS Edition!)

Ah yes, the matchup that most people care about but also absolutely despise, those fuckers vs. those cheating fuckers. “Hooray!” said almost nobody outside of New York and Texas.

Considering it’s their third ALCS meeting in the last six years (and fourth playoff meeting in the last eight), I guess you can call each other their nemesis, if the old sea captain’s told me anything.

That’s right, how many of you were expecting an OG Perry Mason joke? Not that HBO show.

Though it’s hard to do that when one’s side’s won each matchup. I guess the Astros can be the sea captain for the first 50 minutes of that episode until Perry somehow inevitably, almost miraculously comes up with the answers, much to Hamilton Berger’s chagrin and/or amazement. Also, Park Avenue Beat.

Anyways, you can make the argument that until Jose Altuve and Alex Bregman retire, that the Astros have overtaken the Yankees for most hated team in MLB. I may be wrong, but the argument can be made. (You can argue about it with Horatio, since I’ll be at a rehearsal when this goes up.) On one hand, it’s the team people ironically call America’s Team due to the stereotype of Yankees/Cowboys/Lakers fans (again, argue about it with Horatio), and on the other, a team whose fans I’ve seen on social media actually have called themselves “America’s Team.” Yeah, as if any sizable chunk of Americans would throw their support behind a group that actively cheated their way to a victory that went unpunished after being caught, and continue to say they’ve done nothing wrong, and unleash whataboutisms towards their biggest critics! (Wait, fuck, let me do that again.)

Not only that, but there are dynasty questions. Oh yeah, because we talk so much about the Buffalo Bills dynasty. Dynasties mean championships. Probably including a repeat, but not necessarily. Golden State? They won a back-to-back in those four titles. Even Year (Baseball) Giants? It’s a little more of a debate because they won 3 in 5 years, but no back-to-back. 3 pennants in 5 years, but only one title. Not a championship dynasty. It’s in that great run, but I’d go no cigar. Yes, that includes the Braves’ ’90s run of only one title, even with the eleventy bajillion division titles. Divisional dynasties are more like dukedoms. So congratulations on a Western dukedom. I like it better when it’s Oakland-Seattle-Houston-Angels-Texas (and then the caps spell out ASSHAT).

Maybe this is a bit tame for now, but I have very little time to write this, and really that’s the line I’ve had. I’m pretty sure we’ll break yet another seal of the apocalypse if Dusty Baker were to actually win a championship.

Meanwhile on the road side, would it kill ya to actually get a hit off this pitching staff? What’d you guys hit in the 7 games, like .100? And two of them were the Judge walk-offs? First things first, actually have a lead while on defense and not give up a run or three in the 1st inning. Baby steps, here.

Okay. Fuck it, Alexa, play Tessa Thompson. (Also, Creed III, it’s happening even though we all wanted a Creed/Drago buried the hatchet movie following Viktor growing into his career. Or at least some of us did. Though wearing Russian trunks in the previous movie might have hurt a bit.)

What’s new(s)?

Who had Jim Irsay as the one telling Snyder that extortion means nothing and the latter should kindly get the fuck out? Though in fairness, we already know a chunk of the dirt on him through the years.

Meanwhile, JERRAH was the lone dissenter in the 31-1 vote regarding negotiations on Goodell’s contract, even going so far to tell Robert Kraft “Don’t fuck with me.”

Tua was apparently “laser focused” in his return to practice. WHY ARE YOU SHINING LASERS INTO HIS EYES DURING THE CONCUSSION YOU SAY HE DIDN’T HAVE?

Russell Wilson is day-to-day over his “hamstring injury.” Broncos Country, sure he’s not fried?

Meanwhile, Bengals LB Logan Wilson should only be out 2-5 weeks with a shoulder injury. Chargers K Dustin Hopkins on the other hand? 2-4 with a hamstring strain. Protect your femur, Dustin.

Ravens sign WR DeSean Jackson to practice squad.

Updates on the 26th civil lawsuit on Watson, where the plaintiff has added her name.

What’s for sportin’?

Baseball Semifinal Action
Low Commanders vs. Always Sunny (in progress) (SD vs. PHI, Phillies lead 1-0) (FOX/FS1)
Teams You Hate ALCS III (NYY vs. HOU, Game 1) (7:37, TBS)

Roundball Rock
Spike’s Ire vs. Grindhouse Grizz (NYK-MEM, 7:45, ESPN)
Luca and the Lucettes vs. Cliff Paul from State Farm (DAL-PHX, 10:05, ESPN)
Check local listings, there’s a bunch of games

Okay, have fun throwing things at your TV and commenting about what you throw! At some point (before filming of the new season ends) I’ll have the Beaties on a Thursday… I hope.

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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yeah right

Going to my first real massage, no a regular massage type massage, since pre COVID tomorrow. I hope I don’t shatter into a thousand pieces.

I’m a goddamn train wreck with the muscle knots and tension.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Super excited to fly somewhere cold tomorrow for the first time since covid started. I’m sure passengers will be super reasonable about coats and overhead space.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, “Cayman Nebraska”? How have I never heard this before?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am gonna try something crazy tomorrow. I’m going to make the James Beard 40 clove garlic chicken but I am going to make it into gumbo.

TheRevanchist

Can you post so we can see the magic happen?

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Gumbygirl

Ooooh, you is fancy!

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Dunstan

I like gumbo and I like garlic, so I applaud this plan.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We bought a big black box of cabernet and to make sure it stayed good longer (plus it was 100° here today) we put it in the fridge. Now it goes down way too easy. It’s like having a glass of cranberry-apple juice. I am going to pay for this tomorrow.

litre_cola

You bought a BBC?

Game Time Decision

And it goes down RTD’s throat way too easy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

until Jose Altuve and Alex Bregman retire, that the Astros have overtaken the Yankees for most hated team in MLB.

Oh, I’ll be hating them long after those jerks retire. As much as I hate the Yankees, and as much as I bitch about how calls always seem to go their way, and as much as they probably got away with juicing, they were never conclusively proven to have cheated like the Asterisks did.

litre_cola

100 percent.

Recovery Whiskey

As a Seattle baseball fan we get stuck with the Cheatstros 19 times a year not including playoffs. Glad to see they have a similar effect on non aligned national audiences that that’ve had here ever since the trash can incident.

I mean, the Mariners were bad anyway and these assholes still cheated against them. What the flipping fuck. All the remaining offenders (Altuve, Bregman) still get booed every at bat in Seattle.

Brick Meathook

I’m never going to believe that the “Space Force” is a real thing.

TheRevanchist

I was arguing this same point to a dude, but his friend Woody kept insisting it was true.

Gumbygirl

With an attitude like that, we will be easily conquered by the Martians!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I started listening to Pandora again because fuck Spotify and i keep getting an insurance commercial version of an evanescence song and want to murder everyone involved.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WAKE ME UP INSIDE

WAKE ME UP INSIDE

SAVE ME MORE THAN 20% OVER GEICO

WCS

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ArmedandHammered

Could be worse, could be Wham!
WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GEICO!

ArmedandHammered

I guess a better one would be:
WAKE ME UP TO SAVE WITH GEICO!
DON’T LEAVE ME DRIVING LIKE A YO-YO!

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

One thing I really hate about the Astros, besides all the cheating and the medical malpractice that ended JR Richards’s career, is that they have outstanding throwback uniforms and they just go with these duds.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Guy behind home plate has a HUGE strike zone.

I will say that he’s been at least that way for both teams. Those of you with wagering interests may want to get in and try to see if there’s prop bets available for under on the score and over on the K’s.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

a HUGE strike zone.

Something something Justin Halpern’s mom.

Horatio Cornblower

/Plaintively

“My Mom doesn’t umpire at the major league level, Vince”

Horatio Cornblower

I do enjoy the announcers praising Verlander for having one of the best years of his career at age 39 and coming off of Tommy John surgery as though that isn’t suspicious at all.

Brick Meathook

it’s that big-titted wife of his

ArmedandHammered

All that breast feeding is keeping him young and healthy.

Horatio Cornblower

She needs the same meds that Mrs. Manning needed.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is it titted or tittied?

Last edited 2 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Brick Meathook

Whatever your poetic preference is

scotchnaut

It’s as though they’re completely beholden to their ultimate employer, major league baseball/the owners. Weird!

Brick Meathook
Horatio Cornblower

I see Weaselo has stuck me with a lot of arguing responsibilities tonight, so let’s just get this out there: The Astros are a bunch of filthy cheating scumbags and if you root for them you suck. The Yankees have never done anything wrong and frankly are not just America’s baseball team, but God’s Perfect Little Angels.

Now let’s all sit back and watch some baseball.

scotchnaut

I’ve got better, more entertaining options.*

*turns to The Fireplace Channel

WCS
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t agree with half of this but endorse the attitude.

scotchnaut

Speaking of cheese, AMC is on a lousy horror movie bender that is fantastic to watch. “Dracula 2000”, “Fright Night”, “Jeepers Creepers”, “Children of The Corn: Revelation”-I’m in heaven hell!

/catch the stars of the late 90’s like Jeri Ryan, Jonny Lee Miller, Billy Zane, Roddy MacDowell and many, many more!

WCS

Texas Chainsaw Massacre III definitely shows why Rust Cohle is so… eccentric.

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Dunstan

You had me at Jeri Ryan.

herodotus450

Member when Jonny Lee Miller dated this Vulcan lady?
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ArmedandHammered

Love those movies plus they show a lot of the really old horror movies as well.

scotchnaut

Speaking of really old horror movies, I don’t think they’ve shown “Birth of a Nation” yet.

WCS

Stephen Miller’s favorite film!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That’s not a horror movie! Munich, now that’s a horror movie.” – Stephen Miller

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The original Fright Night? That movie wasn’t lousy at all! It had Prince Humperdink in it!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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BeefReeferLives

I’m no fan of the Yanks, but fuck those goddamn, garbage can banging, cheaters.

MLB should have made an exception to the $5 mil cap on penalties for that.

Wakezilla

Baseball is so embarrassed about their sport that they have so many of their playoffs games on during the day when many aren’t watching.

WCS

Hey, now, old people fall asleep watching TV in the day all the time! This helps them!

Horatio Cornblower

To be faaaaaaaiiiiirrrrr, the NFL has been putting me to sleep early on Thursday nights this year.

ballsofsteelandfury

Also, to continue the discussion from the morning thread, these are the best snacks in the planet:

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Wakezilla

Those are good. I’m more of a sweet candy person so I love me some Caramilk. I can’t believe it’s Canadian and Yanks have likely never had it before. Kind of sad, really

Dunstan

Caramilks are good. I once sold my soul to learn the secret of how they get the caramel inside.

Aeros are my favorite Canadian candy bar — just good milk chocolate with a delightful texture.

BeefReeferLives

I think BCD mentioned them… Not the most original name, but gets the point across.

scotchnaut

If you like the taste of cheese air, this is a great product.

BC Dick

If cheese air is dense, crunchy, vaguely cheese-like and packed with salt then I guess I love cheese air. I want to marry cheese air. I’ve already tried to have babies with cheese air.

ArmedandHammered

Whelp, that explains how Trump was conceived.

yeah right

Just placed an order along with 2 cans of these.

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These are not hot at all but ARE goddamn delicious.

BC Dick

Agreed. Easy winner.

ballsofsteelandfury

It still throws me off that the Astros are in the American League. I’ll never get used to that.

scotchnaut

#Metoo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Asterisks.