Your Totally English Early Morning NFL Football Open Thread

Welcome friends to this completely mandatory tilt! I hope I didn’t offend any west coasters by referencing the time of day. Welp, we’ve got yet another game featuring Hippo’s beloved Donkos and their airplane aisle-exercising leader. Let’s dig in, shall we?

To The Game!

Broncos/Jags:

-Both teams are dragging their sorry asses through a 4 game losing streak.

-The actual City of London is only 1.3 square miles and has only 7,500 folks living there. Greater London has 8.7 million wankers-all of them-residing within its boundaries.

-Nathaniel Hackett is in over his head and sounds like a character that cobbles shoes in a Dickens novel.

-The city, such as it was, was founded by the Romans in 50 AD and has been known as Ludenwic, Ludenberg and Londonium, which is also the substance that flows through Prince Harry’s bloodstream in my new graphic novel about royal superheroes.

-Wilson is listed as questionable and is regarded as more than a little bit cringey.

-The Great Fire of 1666 wasn’t that great regarding body counts. There were only six verified deaths but I’m guessing then, as now, that the poor didn’t (and can’t) count.

-Trevor Lawrence has a victory overseas-he won last year at Tatertot Hotspur Stadium over the Fins.

-If you wanted to “Eat The Rich!” as the old saying goes, a good place to start your adventure is London, given that approximately 80 billionaires live there.

-Etienne should get all kinds of touches today now that James Robinson has been shipped off to the Jetskis.

-Some of the more ‘colourful’ street names that once existed have been replaced. Places like Pissing Alley, Shiteburn Lane and Gropecunt Lane have been re-named and no one seems to know why.

Have a coffee and enjoy.

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Horatio Cornblower

Went upstairs to brush my teeth and Arsenal go up 5-0.

This must be why the British have such lousy teeth.

King Hippo

In-com-PLETE WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spur

Letting Russ cook might improve that British food.

Spur

Wait this game in Germany or England?

Mr. Ayo

Is it 9am yet?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Close enough!

Mr. Ayo

*runs to the freezer*

Huzzah!

King Hippo

Is half-past Pill O’clock in North Cakalaky

Spur

Fun week in the NBA. My team, the Spurs cut their promising PG, Primo, on Friday. Word finally comes out he’s exposing himself to women. Good for the team to show some morals

World B Flat, aka Kyrie Irving, comes out openly antisemitic. Plays that game of “only asking questions” in an effort to appear smart

The Lakers are the last winless team, 0-5. The only feel good story of the week.

King Hippo

MURRAY PLS

Game Time Decision

If the sun wasn’t out I would have guessed that this was TNF

Col. Duke LaCross

3rd and 29, NFL BLITZ!

Spur

Damn, the Hulu stream looks better then the TNF Prime stream. Don’t all these media companies use the same AWS servers?

King Hippo

Maybe they bought a 2nd hamster

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Thomas Party just unleashed some heavy artillery, much as the King’s African Water Pistols used to do when the natives raised some differences of opinions about just who owned the local natural resources.

Cecil Rhodes

Those natives had unacceptable views! The Water Pistols were right to proceed!

Fronkenshteen

3-0, and off the pitch goes Fat Lingard in the 55th minute. Smashing!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh it’s 4-0 now.

Spur

Morning Folks

Horatio Cornblower

It seems Handsome Mike may have set some fires during the halftime talk.

ballsofsteelandfury

I 100% believe that Gropecunt Lane is a real thing.

Horatio Cornblower

If it’s not it should be.

Doktor Zymm

It is

King Hippo

Crikey, just get 7-10 yards and kick the FG. Fuck’s sake.

litre_cola

Me thinks yer cooch is not long for his job.

Horatio Cornblower

Houston’s manager, after #476.

King Hippo

Charmslinger…IMPROVING??

Brick Meathook

Russ has some timNO HE DOESN’T!

Brick Meathook

He’s grabbing his balls.

Doktor Zymm

Why isn’t good wine this cheap in the US? I even got a liter of vino tinto in a box for later and I bet it’s better than the 4 euro wine at home

King Hippo

Because JESUS

Brick Meathook

California has great cheap wine. I’ve never seen any 4 euro wine here though.

litre_cola

Litre’s 100 percent biased large cities not in North America ranked.

  1. Paris
  2. London
  3. Amsterdam
  4. Melbourne
  5. Istanbul

Basically I love foggy London towne.

Doktor Zymm

Nothing en Espana?

litre_cola

Barca got edged out by Istanbul.

I have never been to Tokyo I want to go with all of my soul, and without child.

Brick Meathook

If I were to pick one city I’d really like to see it would be Hanoi, and particularly its old quarter. I’ve been to Ho Chi Minh City but that’s modernized a lot. Hanoi hasn’t.

litre_cola

Agreed. I have watched docos on what Chinese investment has done to Cambodia and I know so much of it has changed for the worst. I hope the same doesn’t happen to Hanoi.

I loved Sihanoukville and from what I have seen it is completely unrecognizable from 10 years ago.

Doktor Zymm

I got my Vietnamese visa in Sihanoukville despite not going there!

Doktor Zymm

Hanoi is great! If you get there, go eat at the Green Tangerine

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No love for Tokyo?

Cecil Rhodes

Sir — I notice that Salisbury (capital of Rhodesia) is not on your list. A visit to our beautiful (albeit, blood-stained) streets is highly recommended!

litre_cola

My only foray into the dark continent was a month through all over Morocco, a true monarchy!

ballsofsteelandfury

But what about their steaks??

Cecil Rhodes

The most tender cuts of meat found this side of Kampala! Sourced directly from the local slum!

Brick Meathook

Number “X” was an ineligible receiver

Fronkenshteen

Gibbs-White just recklessly threw his studs into the WRONG Albanian’s ankle. If Xhaka can continue retaliation will be ferocious.

Don T

First laughs for this week, and at the expense of London! Dynamite stuff.

Horatio Cornblower

Arsenal look like shite.

King Hippo

A delay of game on the goddamned kickoff???

King Hippo

Defensing unit getting a breather, at least.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gotta give that London crowd some of that kickin’ stuff they love so much.

King Hippo

You might imagine that Hippo is angry. Let’s say I now have a better understanding of how Scotchy feels when he watches a hobo breathe.

Fronkenshteen

“This needs to change…”

King Hippo

Hackett’s a right cunt, innit??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How fun! My pirated stream is a broadcast from Canadia!

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Horatio Cornblower

Well then explain the Big Turk.

King Hippo

they want us to know they are CAPABLE of evil, so we don’t take advantage, eh?

Redshirt

Watching game with a Broncos fan and the conversation is pretty much the football version of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKzW0F0p28

Brick Meathook

Ah, Bahston Hyoomah!

It’s really never not unfunny, folks.

King Hippo

I have the sound on Arsenal, please let me know if/when the local Donks faithful start “You’re Getting Sacked in the Morning”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Broncos Country, Eel Pied!

Doktor Zymm

VPNs are pretty nifty. Why YES Sling TV, I AM in the Western USA

clint greasewood

Could I use a VPN for gambling purposes? Say I live in Fascist Texas and use a mobile VPN for liberal Wyoming, would that work?

Doktor Zymm

One way to find out!

litre_cola

Zymm you told me Wyoming didn’t exist, even when I thought that I was there.

Doktor Zymm

You can be places that don’t exist with VPN

King Hippo

Wyoming must be doing that to honoUr its native son, Hippo.

King Hippo

The handsomeness discrepancy between the Robins Hood and King’s Afrikan Water Pistols’ managers is striking.

Cecil Rhodes

The Robins Hood manager has always reminded me of a certain moving-picture-film serial killer. Do you suppose that he puts his players through elaborate torture sequences during training?

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Mr. Ayo

Just like a geriatric, I’m just a little late and there’s a bed shitting.

Fronkenshteen

Banner!

Horatio Cornblower

Seconded

King Hippo

SIGH. At least I left Engram in my money league lineup (over Pitts)

King Hippo

why don’t they have ads for teh SPACE Marines??

King Hippo

Unlimited Sacks

King Hippo

well, that wasn’t an ideal start

Doktor Zymm

I’ll be getting a fancy late lunch in an hour, forgot there was a English game today. Oh well, there are lots of English tourists here so watching them act like donkeys is kind of the same!

Fronkenshteen

Present! Now to shower and escape down to the Internet cafe with my laptop to escape the howls of rage when my pod mates realize they don’t get ESPN+ on the hospital cable package.

King Hippo

His ESPN+ subscription should make Fronk the HNIC, fo sho.

Fronkenshteen

Oh I’m already in the wind, baby! Fronk who? I think he went that way.

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litre_cola

The Denver Broncos have broken every ff team I have.

2Pack

Let’s hope the coverage is good… at least…

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blaxabbath

Running wild outside the hash marks.

Nice.

King Hippo

Awake, present, and ALMOST SENTIENT. Donks WOO!!!!

blaxabbath

Broncos Country Let’s Ride!

King Hippo

THAT’S TEH SPIRIT, governour!