There are leaves in the yard (thankfully, I live in a townhouse now so NOT MY FOOKIN’ PROBLEM), a chill in the night/morning air. At least some days, I did have to turn my air conditioning back on this Thursday. But without question, it is November now, nut cuttin’ time for our Saturday-based footy.
Schedule-makers and INCORRECT Daylight Saving Time (first, UK – you have the week wrong, and second – there is no such thing as the sun) conspire to fuck us sideways, as there are NO FIXTURES prior to 11:00’s quad-box. Not only that, but USA has chosen to broadcast….City of Men home to Fulham. Yikes, as much faith as we have in Mighty Whitey, that’ll be a hammering. Bees/Robins Hood is the best of the streaming options, I guess.
Another Spotlight Dance for Hippo’s beloved/disappointing (but seemingly not fatally so) Toffees, strangely in a home tie against Leicester (1:30, USA). Man, I was much happier when the aging Foxes looked in relegation form. Watch the natives get grumpy with the inevitable draw (GAMBLOR note – when I have this sense of foreboding, Everton usually end up losing by 2+ soccer points instead).
Sunday starts super early, like it SHOULD on Saturday, with London Derby goodness (7:00, USA). As in, King’s Afrikan Water Pistols visiting the lovely Fulham neighboUrhood (to play Chelski). Three at 9:00, with Hammers/Palace on USA and Men Untied/Villa streaming (plus another, but meh). Fuck off with the 11:30 fixture, we have RedZone prep to do!
Sorry about the re-run shoulder/tit pic, but I really, really like it. Plus, GO VOLS.
Texas Tech (+8.5) at TCU (Noon, Fox)
Early window, folks. Not great. Works our for me as an Evertonian, though.
Florida (+3.5) at Texas A&M (Noon, ESPN)
The good folks at Bonfire Cult are in ded fookin’ last in the SEC West, and I am sure Reacting Quite Reasonably.
Tennessee (+8) at Georgia (3:30, CBS)
Wow, more than a TD spread. We haven’t seen the ‘Dawgs play a complete game since the opening weekend against Oregon. Is that because they really can’t? I guess we are about to find out. Winner gets the East, loser hopes that the winner beats Bama in the SEC title game (otherwise they get itchy as the third 1-loss SEC team).
Michigan State (+17) at Illinois (3:30, BTN)
This sure is a lot of points for a team straight out of the 1970s, but Sparty is in a whole heap of turmoil. Guess that can spiral one of two ways. Anyway, gotta flip to something.
Washington State (-4.5) at Stanford (3:30, Pac-12)
The non-CBS main networks ain’t even trying to compete, so I will point to this with only some morbid curiousity.
Danny DeVito is the human equivalent of a pug
Hairy, hilarious, google eyed. Checks out.
Wouyld be pretty funny if Tennessee collapsed after this game and lost out for the rest of the season and missed the Sugar Jam Glaze Bowl or whatever.
“Glaze up, son! Wait…not you, Tennessee.” – Steve Smith
Hippo never needs to apologize for tits and shoulders.
Jackson Browne, weighing in on the Vols-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqRvJLH_-vU&ab_channel=JacksonBrowne-Topic
So many tortured rhymes-loved it as a kid. Doesn’t hold up very well as these years pass by.
This “southern hospitality” business of trading fumbles is getting out of hand.
So much better than, “Don’t be here after sundown” though.
Near the Dallas airport back about 15 years ago I was overnight delayed and the guy at the Days Inn said just order in, DO NOT go out and about.
I will get to an LAFC game with Balls in the next 5 years.
MLS Cup is in extra time. Vamos!
We’ll get LA Danger Dogs, Fashion District Micheladas, and you’ll get massively sunburned!
Hell yes. Then a Mexi food tour as well por favor.
Have you ever eaten grasshoppers?
Yessir. With peanut butter! Also super spicy in SE Asia. Delish
I’ve got a Oaxacan place in Koreatown to take you to.
My luggage will be full of Cheezies, Kolbassa and Ketchup Doritos.
he won’t be eating anything after the danger dog
Say when.
The bonus to drafting Jailinn Hyatt is that NFL teams with leftover TY Hilton points get to finally use them.
Stetson Bennett sounds like the name of an attorney who has defended not one but multiple good old boys who were accused of an attempted lynching.
Especially being the Fourth.
They call his daddy Trey, and his Grandpa Junior.
His great-grandfather cornered the silly hat market quite some time ago.
He’s a Confederate Colonel of a celebrated Georgia infantry regiment that was heroically annihilated at the Battle of Nashville in December 1864.
He was bravely outnumbered, and he bravely ordered his troops to bravely march directly into the cannon line with bayonets affixed. Any who broke rank would be shot by Colonel Bennet’s own personal guard. What a great leader of men.
I was told that The Battle of Nashville was won by Elvis Presley in goldarn ’58. The loser-Jerry Lee Lewis-skulked back home and married the very first niece he saw. She was right pretty iffin I remember right.
Things On My Adult Permanent Record-
-selling my abode just before a housing pricing boom occurred, missing out on at least $100,000
-Wasting way too much time with a partner that I didn’t want to marry
-Driving a Caravan when I could have been driving a pickup truck
You?
I HOPE YOU KNOW THIS WILL GO DOWN ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hTUAaW3oGGo
“No! Not my permanent record!” – Elisha
My permanent record is a double album! This guy has some regerts too
Got married to my travel buddy, settled, did not go well.
3 things I didn’t buy in my travels I regret. Red Army cigarette case in Bulgaria, hand made chess set in Hungary, carpet in central Turkey.
Moving back to Canada from Australia seemed like a good idea at the time, should have gone to NZ.
Buying my condo at the height of the market, lost 150k when resold.
Not signing a prenup prior to marriage and losing a huge chunk of change during a divorce. I could say never getting married at all but I wouldn’t change my daughters and granddaughters for ANYTHING.
Actually, I’m doing fine.
Dawgies seem a little nonplussed today. CFP went and made them angry.
I like her at all other times, I don’t see why I wouldn’t like her when she was angry.
When she gets angry she turns green, grows to seven feet tall, and gets big tits. I know because I made her do that.
Just saw the stoppage time penalty on DeBruyne. Here it is for anyone who hasn’t caught it yet.
I am still murderous.
You should be. There was a full beat before he decided to fly in the air screaming, and the refs fucking ate it up.
“I used to be murderous. I still am, but I used to be, too.” – scotchnaut
Oh, man. I just saw on twitter that Elon Musk murdered Aaron Carter.
He (Aaron Carter) was a hot mess, not at all surprising. I think Elon hunts humans for sport.
Why can’t that happen to Roger Stone?
Cousinfuckers have forced 13 fumbles this season, and has recovered four of them. That’s actually kind of impressive in it’s piss-me-offness.
Writing this down because I amused myself:
“If X is waiting for an apology from me, please let them know I’ll be happy to etch it into their tombstone.”
Elegant!
Well, that’s one way, Dawgies.
That’s gotta be a Safety Dance.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ray Guy directed that punt for Jawja.
Woo Dawgs!
GG’s comment reminded me about a story the father of an ex told me. When they moved into a new house (the negotiations were difficult because said father was a difficult, odd man*) the previous owners removed all the light bulbs and on/off light fixtures from the house. That’s Next Level petty.
*while ex was driving he said-I was there-“Ex’s name!!**, don’t pass a tractor trailer, a woman in Toronto died from a flying hubcap two weeks ago. Did you not read that in the news?”
**ex has a very distinctive name and has been on CBC several times as ‘a Senators fan/expert’
/that guy made the most amazing biryani you could ever have-he put potatoes and beef marrow and cardamom and some other things in it. The next day with a sunny-side up egg? Fucking Heaven.
What is a “distinctive” Canadian name? Garth Canucksyruppuck?
Um, we’ve got a ‘cultural mosaic’ going on over here. She was east Indian, you Silly (Hill)Billy.
So, Priyanka Canucksyruppuck?
I could eat some biryani. There was a place in Scotland we used to go to called the Bombay that had great biryani. Great everything, actually. There’s a little hole in the wall Indian place here in DHS that’s really good too.
What I respected about him was the fact that if I asked him to make it, sometimes he’d say “No” and the reason was because the stores that had the specific ingredients he needed were out of stock. Happened a few times.
Accept no substitutes!
Lesson learned by Sharky this week…
Current Hippo mood:
All things are bad, and should feel bad. I’mma lay down and ponder while I watch the Vols get the hound beat out of ’em
Extremely Disappointing Everton
I don’t approve of the women’s Pan Continental Curling Championship scheduling it’s semifinal against the Vols/Bulldogs game but I do approve of women curling with pans. That’s just me.
TIL that Australian news interviews is/are a Youtube genre.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1KBCYp8Z-s&ab_channel=TODAY
Pre UT/UGA reading. Great book! (Sorry so sideways 🤓)
Save Hippo a seat at the nuthouse, will ya?
Oh my brother, I don’t know. They are EXTREMELY tight fisted with the whammies here, no matter how much pain you’re in, and they do surprise room inspections ALL THE TIME. Shit, I got two Pepcid chewables confiscated and got written up for it. Because my damn tummy hurt! Might not be a good fit!🤓
Shit. That’s gonna be on your permanent adult record!
“Going after Carpaccio”? Is it one of those German scheisse books I’ve heard almost nothing about?
Whatever you do, DON”T think about Mickey Mouse jerking it to Minnie taking a dump.
I read that a long time ago.
Fox News: Undermining Democracy While Screaming About It 24/7.
THIS OHIO STATE / NORTHWESTERN GAME I CALL IT UPTON SINCLAIR’S “THE JUNGLE” BECAUSE IT IS SET IN CHICAGO AND THERE IS A DISAPPOINTING LACK OF SAFETY.
I survived putting the lights up. You are all still my favs
I have a light in my bathroom that I cannot change because I’m afraid I’ll fall off the ladder.
I’m okay a few feet off the ground but anything more than that I can’t do, so with ya.
At the house in Big Bear, there’s a 5 bulb light that hangs from the top of the A- frame, over the extremely steep stairs. When we first got there, all of the bulbs were working. Over the years of the pandemic, they started burning out, one by one. It felt like the perfect metaphor for a very strange time.
Molly McGrath rocking the Simply Irresistible look.
there’s no tellin’ where the money went!
THE MOST DELICIOUS DECORATION OF A GOAL!
It was a wonder strike, no question. But the commentator has had a massive boner for Lester that is usually reserved solely for the Redshite
In the most delicious way!
well, that was coming. FUCK EVERYTHING
Is every single political ad made by the good folks down at Crazy Town Enterprises?
From what I saw on roadside posters… yes. The one Demmycrat one said “We’re not perfect but the other team is insane.”
What I’m saying is we are boned.
I think humanity is finally broken beyond repair
When a certain someone goes to ‘visit’ his daughter in Canadia next time, he should ask for political asylum, for mental health reasons.
I’ll need a good opiate source!
/also betting the fascism ultimately gets up there too, just slower – it’s a worldwide brand of fuckery
Agreed. But we’ll be good and dead by the time that happens.
It’s just as well, I think corporations aren’t terribly far away from becoming self-aware.
lemme tell you about a little thing called the Dutch East India Company
#MakersNotTakers
I just hope when we partition the United States I don’t have to move.
I am never leaving California.
Well, they’re “people”, according to Mittens.
And U.S. law as well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdaD1fkE0Zg&ab_channel=KizunoOtoko
Seems like the logical next step for these guys.
/expects to see this downvoted to Hades and back thrice
//ghost of Seamus loves this
He also probably loves this version.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOZuxwVk7TU&ab_channel=BritneySpearsVEVO
Of all the purple-y unis out there, I like TCU the best. They should totally lean hard into it (a la Boise State) and do up the field in the same color.
With streaks of eye blood painted on, for hellscape intimidation.
They wanted to, the Big 12-Minus-Two-Soon-to-be-14 said no.
What the coconutfuck? Just go ahead and do it.
My theory that the stress that Covid caused has rapidly aged people is reinforced yet again when I look at Gus Johnson.
/fuck sakes, “Covid” still shows as being spelt incorrectly, really?
Seriously, I now feel like I could sleep like 18 hours a day. It’s a good thing no poor woman is relying on me to adequately use my dick.
/and u rite, Gus looks like 80 now
Onana is my new Everton spirit animal. He’s like a 6’4″ spider, on PCP. Total mad bastard of a midfielder.
I bet he touches himself too.
I hope you apologized to Litre for that bullshit penno
Can’t. He’s blocked me.
That was really un-Broom-like, diving like that.
He never does that, which is why it worked. He’s a wily old Belgian, he is.
I hope James Maddison has a kid named Ashley
You mean “Ashlley”.
Asshley.
I may not be wearing a poppy, but I am showing my Remembrance Day spirit with ass tons of opium (FUCK does my neck hurt today)
In Flanders’ Fields, the poppies grow,
to soothe King Hippo from his woe
like his sore neck; and on his phone
his fingers, still bravely typing, moan
about disappointing Everton, on DFO.
I need to frame this!
Snapping my fingers, daddio!
I became a fan of 10,000 Maniacs because of this one tune
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJXZFo3kTiY&ab_channel=10%2C000Maniacs-Topic
I mean, using the language of that genre to criticize the characters of that movement and addressing Ginsberg’s pedophlia behavior? Fucking brilliant.
Almost time for Very Disappointing Everton to prove its moniker!
I’m experiencing a bit of deja vu over here.
“Oh, I can give you a hand.” – Trent Green, thinking you need help opening a jar
I broke the remote control on that soft penalty. What a fucking dive. I am so irrationally mad it is actually quite sad.
The frustrating bit is that your goalkeeper (former Water Pistol Bernd Leno) could have saved it, but it appears that he has arms that are made of papier-mâché. Time of put a strong English brute between the sticks!
He has been unreal for us so far this season.
Um, Northwestern? I was told their program lacks direction. (it’s right there in the name, after all)
Uh actually ‘western’ is a conjunctivying adverb with rising gerund tendencies, not a real direction.
Who wants to beat up a nerd?
I don’t want to be pedantic, but nerd implies he’s scientifically obnoxious, and clearly he’s a grammar Nazi.
“Please have him contact me so I can make him a verified Twitter user. Oh, wait, I missed the ‘grammar’ part. Never mind.” — Elon Musk
The Erling Bird gets yet another worm! 2-1.
Not so fast my dear Scotchy.
Yeah, I mis-spoke.
There it is.
Time to work on the leaves, unlike the lucky Hippo we are responsible for the leaves in our yard, time to blow them into the neighbor’s yard. Their kids do their yardwork so the parents don’t mind us helping to keep their kids busier.
Since its a nice day here, 18C, I’m gonna put the Xmas lights up as I need to be on the roof to do it. If I don’t make it back, you’re all my favourite and please clear my browsing history
Snowed again last night and -17 C coming my way this week.
Well, well, well, looks like Kadarius Toney got ‘all better’ very quickly.
Warning: Peter King is in the accompanying video.
https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2022/11/04/kadarius-toney-likely-to-make-chiefs-debut-on-sunday/
Huzzah! The Whites are level with those irritating Citizens. Always nice to see Cancelo get cancelled!
Am at Decilitres swimming lesson. Am watching on phone trying not to lose my mind. Muy difficile.
Is his backstroke that bad?
Certainly not good enough to get a scholarship somewhere
Looks like Litre is going to have to bribe some officials at Lower Middle Rocky Mountain College.
There’s always Upper Central Midwestern Canadian Alps Institute of Technology. Just as the safety school, naturally.
It took nearly 8,000 years but finally us Whites did something right!
Midwest is expected to have high winds and chance of rain. Games affected include tOSU-I Can’t Believe Its Not Chicago and JV Cincy-Money Shot.
Have fun!
Really looking forward to City of Men and the Water Pistols having a real title race. But far ahead of 3rd place.
No Mitro. Seems Silva knows to rest him as we are going to get done.
Plus he might have gotten pissed off and red carded. Smart man management.
He is also on 4 yellows, and we need him against United next week.
My kind of vacation: hold a solitary Oklahoma drill between Aderall and weed.
Sent me down a Portugal. The Man wormhole, WOO!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN-xVSlnWKQ
Never saw that before. Outstanding.
FUN TRIVIA! Real-life Dennis Reynolds is indeed married to the pharmacist from the “Magnum Dong/D.E.N.N.I.S. system” episode.
And once dated Christina Hendricks!
#FiveStarMan
Weird. I can’t see him in this photo.