November Spawned This Lesser Footy

There are leaves in the yard (thankfully, I live in a townhouse now so NOT MY FOOKIN’ PROBLEM), a chill in the night/morning air.  At least some days, I did have to turn my air conditioning back on this Thursday.  But without question, it is November now, nut cuttin’ time for our Saturday-based footy.

Schedule-makers and INCORRECT Daylight Saving Time (first, UK – you have the week wrong, and second – there is no such thing as the sun) conspire to fuck us sideways, as there are NO FIXTURES prior to 11:00’s quad-box.  Not only that, but USA has chosen to broadcast….City of Men home to Fulham.  Yikes, as much faith as we have in Mighty Whitey, that’ll be a hammering.  Bees/Robins Hood is the best of the streaming options, I guess.

Another Spotlight Dance for Hippo’s beloved/disappointing (but seemingly not fatally so) Toffees, strangely in a home tie against Leicester (1:30, USA).  Man, I was much happier when the aging Foxes looked in relegation form.  Watch the natives get grumpy with the inevitable draw (GAMBLOR note – when I have this sense of foreboding, Everton usually end up losing by 2+ soccer points instead).

Sunday starts super early, like it SHOULD on Saturday, with London Derby goodness (7:00, USA).  As in, King’s Afrikan Water Pistols visiting the lovely Fulham neighboUrhood (to play Chelski).  Three at 9:00, with Hammers/Palace on USA and Men Untied/Villa streaming (plus another, but meh).  Fuck off with the 11:30 fixture, we have RedZone prep to do!

Sorry about the re-run shoulder/tit pic, but I really, really like it.  Plus, GO VOLS.

Texas Tech (+8.5) at TCU (Noon, Fox)

Early window, folks.  Not great.  Works our for me as an Evertonian, though.

Florida (+3.5) at Texas A&M (Noon, ESPN)

The good folks at Bonfire Cult are in ded fookin’ last in the SEC West, and I am sure Reacting Quite Reasonably.

Tennessee (+8) at Georgia (3:30, CBS)

Wow, more than a TD spread.  We haven’t seen the ‘Dawgs play a complete game since the opening weekend against Oregon.  Is that because they really can’t?  I guess we are about to find out.  Winner gets the East, loser hopes that the winner beats Bama in the SEC title game (otherwise they get itchy as the third 1-loss SEC team).

Michigan State (+17) at Illinois (3:30, BTN)

This sure is a lot of points for a team straight out of the 1970s, but Sparty is in a whole heap of turmoil.  Guess that can spiral one of two ways.  Anyway, gotta flip to something.

Washington State (-4.5) at Stanford (3:30, Pac-12)

The non-CBS main networks ain’t even trying to compete, so I will point to this with only some morbid curiousity.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Brick Meathook

Danny DeVito is the human equivalent of a pug

litre_cola

Hairy, hilarious, google eyed. Checks out.

herodotus450

Wouyld be pretty funny if Tennessee collapsed after this game and lost out for the rest of the season and missed the Sugar Jam Glaze Bowl or whatever.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Glaze up, son! Wait…not you, Tennessee.” – Steve Smith

ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo never needs to apologize for tits and shoulders.

scotchnaut
WCS

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scotchnaut

So many tortured rhymes-loved it as a kid. Doesn’t hold up very well as these years pass by.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This “southern hospitality” business of trading fumbles is getting out of hand.

scotchnaut

So much better than, “Don’t be here after sundown” though.

litre_cola

Near the Dallas airport back about 15 years ago I was overnight delayed and the guy at the Days Inn said just order in, DO NOT go out and about.

litre_cola

I will get to an LAFC game with Balls in the next 5 years.

MLS Cup is in extra time. Vamos!

ballsofsteelandfury

We’ll get LA Danger Dogs, Fashion District Micheladas, and you’ll get massively sunburned!

litre_cola

Hell yes. Then a Mexi food tour as well por favor.

ballsofsteelandfury

Have you ever eaten grasshoppers?

litre_cola

Yessir. With peanut butter! Also super spicy in SE Asia. Delish

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve got a Oaxacan place in Koreatown to take you to.

litre_cola

My luggage will be full of Cheezies, Kolbassa and Ketchup Doritos.

Brick Meathook

he won’t be eating anything after the danger dog

yeah right

Say when.

herodotus450

The bonus to drafting Jailinn Hyatt is that NFL teams with leftover TY Hilton points get to finally use them.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stetson Bennett sounds like the name of an attorney who has defended not one but multiple good old boys who were accused of an attempted lynching.

WCS

Especially being the Fourth.

Gumbygirl

They call his daddy Trey, and his Grandpa Junior.

scotchnaut

His great-grandfather cornered the silly hat market quite some time ago.

Brick Meathook

He’s a Confederate Colonel of a celebrated Georgia infantry regiment that was heroically annihilated at the Battle of Nashville in December 1864.

herodotus450

He was bravely outnumbered, and he bravely ordered his troops to bravely march directly into the cannon line with bayonets affixed. Any who broke rank would be shot by Colonel Bennet’s own personal guard. What a great leader of men.

scotchnaut

I was told that The Battle of Nashville was won by Elvis Presley in goldarn ’58. The loser-Jerry Lee Lewis-skulked back home and married the very first niece he saw. She was right pretty iffin I remember right.

scotchnaut

Things On My Adult Permanent Record-

-selling my abode just before a housing pricing boom occurred, missing out on at least $100,000

-Wasting way too much time with a partner that I didn’t want to marry

-Driving a Caravan when I could have been driving a pickup truck

You?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I HOPE YOU KNOW THIS WILL GO DOWN ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hTUAaW3oGGo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“No! Not my permanent record!” – Elisha

Gumbygirl

My permanent record is a double album! This guy has some regerts too

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litre_cola

Got married to my travel buddy, settled, did not go well.

3 things I didn’t buy in my travels I regret. Red Army cigarette case in Bulgaria, hand made chess set in Hungary, carpet in central Turkey.

Moving back to Canada from Australia seemed like a good idea at the time, should have gone to NZ.

Buying my condo at the height of the market, lost 150k when resold.

yeah right

Not signing a prenup prior to marriage and losing a huge chunk of change during a divorce. I could say never getting married at all but I wouldn’t change my daughters and granddaughters for ANYTHING.

Actually, I’m doing fine.

WCS

Dawgies seem a little nonplussed today. CFP went and made them angry.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like her at all other times, I don’t see why I wouldn’t like her when she was angry.

Brick Meathook

When she gets angry she turns green, grows to seven feet tall, and gets big tits. I know because I made her do that.

Fronkenshteen

Just saw the stoppage time penalty on DeBruyne. Here it is for anyone who hasn’t caught it yet.comment image

Last edited 1 year ago by Fronkenshteen
litre_cola

I am still murderous.

Fronkenshteen

You should be. There was a full beat before he decided to fly in the air screaming, and the refs fucking ate it up.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I used to be murderous. I still am, but I used to be, too.” – scotchnaut

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, man. I just saw on twitter that Elon Musk murdered Aaron Carter.

Gumbygirl

He (Aaron Carter) was a hot mess, not at all surprising. I think Elon hunts humans for sport.

WCS

Why can’t that happen to Roger Stone?

WCS

Cousinfuckers have forced 13 fumbles this season, and has recovered four of them. That’s actually kind of impressive in it’s piss-me-offness.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Writing this down because I amused myself:

“If X is waiting for an apology from me, please let them know I’ll be happy to etch it into their tombstone.”

Gumbygirl

Elegant!

WCS

Well, that’s one way, Dawgies.

scotchnaut

That’s gotta be a Safety Dance.

WCS

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WCS

Ray Guy directed that punt for Jawja.

Gumbygirl

Woo Dawgs!

scotchnaut

GG’s comment reminded me about a story the father of an ex told me. When they moved into a new house (the negotiations were difficult because said father was a difficult, odd man*) the previous owners removed all the light bulbs and on/off light fixtures from the house. That’s Next Level petty.

*while ex was driving he said-I was there-“Ex’s name!!**, don’t pass a tractor trailer, a woman in Toronto died from a flying hubcap two weeks ago. Did you not read that in the news?”

**ex has a very distinctive name and has been on CBC several times as ‘a Senators fan/expert’

/that guy made the most amazing biryani you could ever have-he put potatoes and beef marrow and cardamom and some other things in it. The next day with a sunny-side up egg? Fucking Heaven.

WCS

What is a “distinctive” Canadian name? Garth Canucksyruppuck?

scotchnaut

Um, we’ve got a ‘cultural mosaic’ going on over here. She was east Indian, you Silly (Hill)Billy.

Last edited 1 year ago by scotchnaut
Gumbygirl

So, Priyanka Canucksyruppuck?

Gumbygirl

I could eat some biryani. There was a place in Scotland we used to go to called the Bombay that had great biryani. Great everything, actually. There’s a little hole in the wall Indian place here in DHS that’s really good too.

scotchnaut

What I respected about him was the fact that if I asked him to make it, sometimes he’d say “No” and the reason was because the stores that had the specific ingredients he needed were out of stock. Happened a few times.

Gumbygirl

Accept no substitutes!

ballsofsteelandfury

Lesson learned by Sharky this week…

Fronkenshteen

Current Hippo mood:
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Horatio Cornblower

Extremely Disappointing Everton

scotchnaut

I don’t approve of the women’s Pan Continental Curling Championship scheduling it’s semifinal against the Vols/Bulldogs game but I do approve of women curling with pans. That’s just me.

scotchnaut

TIL that Australian news interviews is/are a Youtube genre.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1KBCYp8Z-s&ab_channel=TODAY

Fronkenshteen

Pre UT/UGA reading. Great book! (Sorry so sideways 🤓)

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Last edited 1 year ago by Fronkenshteen
Fronkenshteen

Oh my brother, I don’t know. They are EXTREMELY tight fisted with the whammies here, no matter how much pain you’re in, and they do surprise room inspections ALL THE TIME. Shit, I got two Pepcid chewables confiscated and got written up for it. Because my damn tummy hurt! Might not be a good fit!🤓

scotchnaut

Shit. That’s gonna be on your permanent adult record!

scotchnaut

“Going after Carpaccio”? Is it one of those German scheisse books I’ve heard almost nothing about?

Gumbygirl

I read that a long time ago.

scotchnaut

Fox News: Undermining Democracy While Screaming About It 24/7.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS OHIO STATE / NORTHWESTERN GAME I CALL IT UPTON SINCLAIR’S “THE JUNGLE” BECAUSE IT IS SET IN CHICAGO AND THERE IS A DISAPPOINTING LACK OF SAFETY.

Game Time Decision

I survived putting the lights up. You are all still my favs

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have a light in my bathroom that I cannot change because I’m afraid I’ll fall off the ladder.

Game Time Decision

I’m okay a few feet off the ground but anything more than that I can’t do, so with ya.

Gumbygirl

At the house in Big Bear, there’s a 5 bulb light that hangs from the top of the A- frame, over the extremely steep stairs. When we first got there, all of the bulbs were working. Over the years of the pandemic, they started burning out, one by one. It felt like the perfect metaphor for a very strange time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Molly McGrath rocking the Simply Irresistible look.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THE MOST DELICIOUS DECORATION OF A GOAL!

WCS

In the most delicious way!

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scotchnaut

Is every single political ad made by the good folks down at Crazy Town Enterprises?

Senor Weaselo

From what I saw on roadside posters… yes. The one Demmycrat one said “We’re not perfect but the other team is insane.”

What I’m saying is we are boned.

scotchnaut

When a certain someone goes to ‘visit’ his daughter in Canadia next time, he should ask for political asylum, for mental health reasons.

scotchnaut

Agreed. But we’ll be good and dead by the time that happens.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s just as well, I think corporations aren’t terribly far away from becoming self-aware.

herodotus450

lemme tell you about a little thing called the Dutch East India Company

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just hope when we partition the United States I don’t have to move.

Gumbygirl

I am never leaving California.

Gumbygirl

Well, they’re “people”, according to Mittens.

scotchnaut

And U.S. law as well.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdaD1fkE0Zg&ab_channel=KizunoOtoko

Seems like the logical next step for these guys.

/expects to see this downvoted to Hades and back thrice

//ghost of Seamus loves this

scotchnaut
scotchnaut

Of all the purple-y unis out there, I like TCU the best. They should totally lean hard into it (a la Boise State) and do up the field in the same color.

WCS

They wanted to, the Big 12-Minus-Two-Soon-to-be-14 said no.

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scotchnaut

What the coconutfuck? Just go ahead and do it.

scotchnaut

My theory that the stress that Covid caused has rapidly aged people is reinforced yet again when I look at Gus Johnson.

/fuck sakes, “Covid” still shows as being spelt incorrectly, really?

scotchnaut

I bet he touches himself too.

scotchnaut

Can’t. He’s blocked me.

scotchnaut

He never does that, which is why it worked. He’s a wily old Belgian, he is.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You mean “Ashlley”.

Gumbygirl

Asshley.

Dunstan

In Flanders’ Fields, the poppies grow,
to soothe King Hippo from his woe
like his sore neck; and on his phone
his fingers, still bravely typing, moan
about disappointing Everton, on DFO.

Gumbygirl

Snapping my fingers, daddio!

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scotchnaut

I became a fan of 10,000 Maniacs because of this one tune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJXZFo3kTiY&ab_channel=10%2C000Maniacs-Topic

scotchnaut

I mean, using the language of that genre to criticize the characters of that movement and addressing Ginsberg’s pedophlia behavior? Fucking brilliant.

scotchnaut

I’m experiencing a bit of deja vu over here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh, I can give you a hand.” – Trent Green, thinking you need help opening a jar

litre_cola

I broke the remote control on that soft penalty. What a fucking dive. I am so irrationally mad it is actually quite sad.

Cecil Rhodes

The frustrating bit is that your goalkeeper (former Water Pistol Bernd Leno) could have saved it, but it appears that he has arms that are made of papier-mâché. Time of put a strong English brute between the sticks!

Last edited 1 year ago by Cecil Rhodes
litre_cola

He has been unreal for us so far this season.

scotchnaut

Um, Northwestern? I was told their program lacks direction. (it’s right there in the name, after all)

herodotus450

Uh actually ‘western’ is a conjunctivying adverb with rising gerund tendencies, not a real direction.

scotchnaut

Who wants to beat up a nerd?

Gumbygirl

I don’t want to be pedantic, but nerd implies he’s scientifically obnoxious, and clearly he’s a grammar Nazi.

Dunstan

“Please have him contact me so I can make him a verified Twitter user. Oh, wait, I missed the ‘grammar’ part. Never mind.” — Elon Musk

scotchnaut

The Erling Bird gets yet another worm! 2-1.

litre_cola

Not so fast my dear Scotchy.

scotchnaut

Yeah, I mis-spoke.

litre_cola

There it is.

ArmedandHammered

Time to work on the leaves, unlike the lucky Hippo we are responsible for the leaves in our yard, time to blow them into the neighbor’s yard. Their kids do their yardwork so the parents don’t mind us helping to keep their kids busier.

Game Time Decision

Since its a nice day here, 18C, I’m gonna put the Xmas lights up as I need to be on the roof to do it. If I don’t make it back, you’re all my favourite and please clear my browsing history

litre_cola

Snowed again last night and -17 C coming my way this week.

scotchnaut

Well, well, well, looks like Kadarius Toney got ‘all better’ very quickly.

Warning: Peter King is in the accompanying video.

https://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2022/11/04/kadarius-toney-likely-to-make-chiefs-debut-on-sunday/

Cecil Rhodes

Huzzah! The Whites are level with those irritating Citizens. Always nice to see Cancelo get cancelled!

Last edited 1 year ago by Cecil Rhodes
litre_cola

Am at Decilitres swimming lesson. Am watching on phone trying not to lose my mind. Muy difficile.

scotchnaut

Is his backstroke that bad?

Game Time Decision

Certainly not good enough to get a scholarship somewhere

scotchnaut

Looks like Litre is going to have to bribe some officials at Lower Middle Rocky Mountain College.

Gumbygirl

There’s always Upper Central Midwestern Canadian Alps Institute of Technology. Just as the safety school, naturally.

Redshirt

It took nearly 8,000 years but finally us Whites did something right!

Redshirt

Midwest is expected to have high winds and chance of rain. Games affected include tOSU-I Can’t Believe Its Not Chicago and JV Cincy-Money Shot.

Have fun!

litre_cola

No Mitro. Seems Silva knows to rest him as we are going to get done.

litre_cola

He is also on 4 yellows, and we need him against United next week.

Don T

My kind of vacation: hold a solitary Oklahoma drill between Aderall and weed.

Horatio Cornblower

Never saw that before. Outstanding.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And once dated Christina Hendricks!

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Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
scotchnaut

Weird. I can’t see him in this photo.