Good morning, one and all. Stuff yourselves full of the footed ball offerings, because it’s gonna start tapering off.
I am not paying enough attention to specifically preview the Slave LaboUr Cup matchups. But by all means, discuss away.
Michigan (+8) at THEEEEE Ohio State (Noon, Fox)
I am really nauseated by Fox’ coverage model in general, but shit – guess I will flip to this game quite a bit. Thank goodness it is not The (only) Game, but rather just one of many.
South Cakalaky (+14.5) at Son de Clem (Noon, ABC)
If only our Cocks had home field advantage. Sigh.
Georgia Tech (+35.5) at Georgia (Noon, ESPN)
Another rivalry slaughter, but the Bees earned Hippo’s eternal gratitude last weekend. Give them thar Dawgs a sweat, at least.
Auburn (+22) at Alabama (3:30, CBS)
Holy cats, why can’t ONE of these underdogs at least play at home? But something tells me War Damn Eagle shows up here. They won’t win, but Caddilac Williams has them all feisty.
Oregon (-3) at Oregon State (Noon3:30, FoxABC)
Ah, here we go. Civil War in Corvallis, we should finally get an upset all the way into the JV barn. Love me some Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice Beaver.
Iowa State (+10) at TCU (4:00, Fox)
Note the spread being relatively tame – and it’s warranted. Cornpone State has a meh record, but a very good defense. Bloodeyes could be running on empty, and looking forward to next weekend.
Football talking guy just used the word “aromanating,” drink!
Great shot, great save.
You are down by 4; why are you taunting?
Britt Favre has never been that self aware.
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but taunts will never hurt me. Unless, of course, they are accompanied by a helmet-to-helmet targeting hit.
Because he’s differently abled.
“He’s an excitable boy.”
-W. Zevon, sports announcer
Maybe I am just post-nap disoriented, but punting on 4th and 3 seems like NOT Playing To Win. The Game. Where is Herm when O-HI-O needs him?
This is tricky, I kind of want to set up a second screen so I can watch fútbol *and* football at the same time.
I’m flipping back and forth but the perpetual near-death experiences that occur when someone is tackled hard is off-putting.
“‘Off-pudding’? During the holidays? Now I’ve heard everything!”
-Brian D. N.Y.*
*we need someone else to join Andy and Fatthew
We can call them the Club For Growth.
“The Holy Rotundvirate”
Hard to tell whether you mean soccer where it’s fake or football where it’s real but ignored.
1972 Michigan-Ohio State: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust
2022 Michigan-Ohio State: First to 40 wins?
grumble grumble if we’re talking about scoring over forty is okay too grumble grumble
I watch the Steelers’ pass defense, and it looks horrible. Then I watch the Buckeyes.
Pain
The Commodore with another score.
Kick Early, Go For It Late!
Cornelius Vanderbilt with the Michigan TD!
Watching the pregame for Argentina and Mexico on the Telemundo, some extremely attractive lady is interviewing some Argentinian fans:
My boss: Oh, they speak Spanish in Argentina too?
They do, but it’s pretty wild down there. They wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people!
In an exciting new business opportunity, The Game will heretoforthwith be known as, The Commercial.
San Bernardino, CA
11/25/22
This is a museum not a restaurant, and I couldn’t tell whether it was open or not. The parking lot was empty, except for a weathered 6′ tall fiberglass statue of Bugs Bunny.
Chain yourself to the inside of Officer Big Mac and let us know how it plays out.
Catch a selfie with the Hamburgler.
And leave Brick vulnerable to an attack ad saying he’s soft on crime!?
Better throw there and it’s a touchdown.
It is 49 degrees out. Maybe if the Michigan D backs were wearing less cold weather gear around their heads and necks…
In their defense, in the morning it was 31 and freezing. It’s Ohio Autumn: winter in the morning, spring by noon.
Probably pretty cool in the shady areas. Looks like they took them off after that first series.
San Bernardino, CA
11/25/22
Historic Route 66 through San Bernardino is truly the Boulevard of Dreams. These motels all had residents milling about and these half dead meth-heads did not have enough energy to beg. It was actually kind of spooky
San Bernardino has a dispensary we always went to when we lived in Big Bear. Cactus Jack’s. Good prices, frequent specials, and the best thing? There was usually a taco stand outside that had a big flat top grill. Soooooo good! Their green salsa was bomb!
Oh we can haz game.
Sung to the tune of “Throwing It All Away” by Genesis
🎶 Dukes, you know I love you.
My love for you runs deep.
But giving 15 to the Chanticleers,
seems a little stee-eep.
Michigan and Ohio State
should be a vicious beating.
And 56 is a ton of points,
when scoring won’t come cheap.🎶
🎶 Hey there Auburn Tigers.
Have you gone to pot?
23 points in the Iron Bowl
sure does seem a lot.
Look at the OSU Beavers,
if you need inspiration.
They’re getting two from Phil Knight’s
crew,
and they’ll come out on top. 🎶
🎶 I’m just pissing it all away.
I’m just pissing it aaaalll awayyy.
It’s a fun way to waste a day,
a dollar at a time.
And even if this parlay’s not dead,
I’ll still need the Irish to shit the
bed.
Doo-doo-doo-do
Doo-doo-doo-do
Doo-doo-doo-do
Doo-doo-do
Pissing it all away.🎶
Sup. Are other teams playing really well but then not getting aggressive in the final minutes when they have nothing to lose?
San Bernardino, CA
11/25/22
Instead of the national anthem, they should “honor” America by making each team collectively name all the states. Anything less than 20 and that team is disqualified.
Would “Ohio State” count?
Oh goody, that miserable shitstain Urban Meyer is on my TV.
That’s quality hate that I completely agree with.
The pub I go to usually has a line up at 7 am for a 830 opening during the world cup. Been glorious weather this week. Thursdays Canadia game, the forecast calls for -22C. Yikes.
They should’ve gotten Jack Nicholson to comment on the OSU-Mich game just to be confusing.
San Bernardino, CA
11/25/22
Poodles – Norses is tense!
I missed the play-by-play of last night’s Hallmark movie. How come they don’t have Hallmark movies where some lady moves from out in to the sticks to the big city, where she really belongs. She gets a job at a big law firm, moves into a 500 sq. ft. apartments, and starts wearing pencil skirts.
// Possibly stole this from here.
And then starts experimenting, with other lithe and like-minded ladies… wait I think I’ve seen that one.
I think there’s a show called “Partner Track” that is exactly that. Or “Emily In Paris” which to my understanding is the female equivalent of the most obscene hentai that Japan has ever produced.
There will probably be more
Anyone who has had ligament damage to a knee is quite concerned about the injury to Wrexham’s Jordan Davies right now. The testing by the physio on the pitch and his body language afterwards paint an awful picture for his prognosis. He’d be a huge loss for them. Non-contact injury, too. Shit.
Gonna hit the dispensary just in case the FRA – DEN pastry derby turns out to be a slog
I was watching the first half of UF/FSU last night. Total offensive explosion; the O/U was 80.5. After a long run, the color analyst says, “I can remember when we talked about a hundred yard game [for a running back] as a big game. Now, these guys rack up a hundred yards in a quarter and a half!” And the play-by-play guy immediately follows that comment with, “It was Tony Soprano who said, ‘Remember when’ is the lowest form of conversation”, and then called the next play. Who knows why he said it? But it was followed by the most uncomfortable fucking silence imaginable. Did anyone else hear that?
Does that count as one handball or two?
Civil War is really at Noon? Isn’t that like 4 AM Pacific time?
Nope. I just can’t proofread for shit*. The network is also ABC, nae Fox.
*YES, I am aware this is a bad trait for a real estate lawyer. But I don’t do recorded documents or closings very often, and I am self-aware enough to REFUSE to run a closing without another attorney to double check things and/or a really good paralegal.
Unnecessary fretting. But since we talking about worthlessness: I’m a math major and once overvalued recovery of postjudgment interest by 10,000%. My boss at the time was… plussed as fuck.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/best-lawyers-list-dopest-lawyer-litigation-11651676657?mod=Searchresults_pos1&page=1
That’s 9 a.m. here in Los Angeles. I told the supermodels that I sleep with on a big pile of money to wake me up as soon as they kick off.
.
That’s hilarious!
Retribution will surely be immediate and vicious for the families of the two poor Saudi humps who missed the penno & gave the ball away to Lewandowski for Poland’s second, which slammed the screen door shut on the submarine.
Saudi Arabia really needs to shine a solar-powered flashlight on some of the decisions their manager made in that game.
The sky above Cakalaky (yes, I was up at 6a because OLD AS FUCK) this morning was indeed RED.
I am so happy that Little Fin beat those weaselfucks.
Ciao tutti
Holy Jesús!
All I can say to that sweeper is to stay away from embassies.
Because MBS lures people there to have them murdered, you see.
Nice of the Polska coach to let his walk-ons play
How the fuck did Argentina lose to the Saudis?
FIFA
Aside from the howler and post-panicking, they really played pretty well.
High offside line, no fear, pánico gaucho
SexiMexi can now send Saudi-shill Messi home
But we masturbate too much, so…
oooof, that’s a beheading
Oh brother. Saudi A finally erred to expectations.
The Polish Kenny Chesney is sticking a boot up their arse, eh?
Consonant man is the only one keeping POL in the game.
yeah, they’ve looked 2nd best
If there’s not a Warsaw gay bar named “Polish Sausage” wow, what a missed opportunity.
Death to the Infidels always brings a tear to one’s eye.
Frogger coach of the NatioUnal Bonesaws is goddamned terrifying. LOVE IT!
His handsomeness runs the unnerving – mesmerizing gamut. A real-life Aragorn, as played by Viggo Mortensen.
And if Polonium don’t score a goal in open play today, they are DED to me.