Four tilts with lots of fantasy football heavy hitters-finally a four o’clock window with some promise.
To The Games!
Chargers/Cards:
The best fantasy tight end is Kelce of course but the 2nd best is whoever plays Arizona. Just who do they think they are-the Jersey Giants from 2012-2021? Mike Williams lingering ankle owie makes him an outie today so dial up your Keenan Allen’s and Josh Palmer’s and yes, Gerald Everett.
Raiders/Seahawks:
Tied with the Niners in the standings, Seattle has gotten a ton of their away games out of the way and finish with 5 of their last 7 at home-a decided advantage in the stretch run. The Raiders are playing out the string and showing up so they don’t get fined. (This’ll be the spot where they pull out the weird upset, right?)
Rams/Chiefs:
Hey look, yet another team is trying on a new qb for size! It’s Bryce Perkins and he did come in last week but this is his first start. The talk is that Stafford may just sit out the rest of the year and focus on his diet and an exercise regimen and try to prevent his loony wife from shitposting-he will accomplish none of these things.
Saints/Niners:
T’is always a dicey thing when a wr is a game-timer and there is a hammy involved. How many times have we seen a guy try to play and then shut it down. Deebo is in this situation but is likely not to play. As though the Niners need even more firepower. Last week Aiyuk and Kittle each scored twice, CMC had 106 yards from scrimmage and Deebo popped a long rush play for a TD. The Saints must say a prayer and it involves Jimmy G doing Jimmy G things, which he will, eventually.
Have at it.
Holy Schnikes, over 45 points for Josh Jacobs
And who pulled him at the last second because of that bogus injury report from late in the week for Conner (who had a pretty good game, but goddamn)?
THIS DIPSHIT.
Our league is a bunch of depraved alcoholics, so if you have the most bench points for a week, you have to post a video of you slamming 4 shots back to back on our text chain. This will be the fourth such video I’ve had to record this season.
That’s a great rule!
My bench normally has no points, so is there penalty for that?
Naw, they just win the Ms./Mr. Irrelevant award and get roasted for either making all good decisions or having a shallow-ass team.
*sigh*
Nailed It!
– B. Walsh
It’s awesome that instead of showing overtime of a game that they have the broadcast rights to, CBS is showing nothing of consequence. Truly, truly awesome.
Raiders had time and timeouts, but elected to let it go to OT. The coach definitely is trying to get fired.
Goddamn inexplicable. Two 15-yard outs and you’re into FG territory.
Between that, kicking early at the end of the 2nd half, and kicking on 4th and inches earlier, he’s cost the team an easy win.
I choose to believe all these decisions are driven by the fantasy football interests of the coaching staff
What you have to remember is that Josh McDaniels is a terrible head coach.
That’s a catch BLEERGH. Don’t fuck this up.
it certainly wasn’t CONCLUSIVELY not.
If it takes 5 minutes to overturn, then it’s not obvious enough to overturn.
Blaxx, turn on the radio STAT!
Oh, this postgame gon be AWESOME.
Obiwan Genobi has got this.
Dammit
The Isle of Foster Moreau
SEAHAWKS BALL FUCK YOU REFS
Welp.
A Veritable Touched Down Odyssey!
Mahomes just said, “Fuck it, I’m goin’ deep.”
He’s trying to do it again.
Why wouldn’t you just QB sneak if you have 4th and inches? Because you are actively seeking to get fired. The only thing that makes sense.
Let me explain
–Deanna Favre
More like Will Leftz.
What’s the crappiest a team has ever been the year after winning an Owl? Is RAMMIT in contention there?
They have to be.
According to some articles I just looked up, they’re in a five-way tie for the worst record through nine games. ’06 Steelers, ’99 Broncos, ’87 Giants, ’82 49ers.
16 champions have missed the playoffs the following season, most recently the post-Peyton Broncos in ’16.
Last champion to post a losing record was the ’03 Bucs.
Oh, and if you go by Football Outsiders’ DVOA, the worst defending champion since 1980 (they don’t go back farther) was… Rikki’s Raiders in 1981.
That team was 7-9, though, that isn’t *that* bad.
‘87 Giants get a pass. That season was strike-marred.
That’s good wordplay!
The real danger of their strategy (fuck them picks) is how it hollows out your depth. You can’t/won’t stay “injury lucky” forever in the NFL.
But hey, Flags Fly Forever.
Two different small planes had to make emergency landings on Bay Area highways today, I drove past one of the spots but they had already cleared it off of 101. Would have liked to have seen that. Not too far from where I saw the pickup truck on fire a few weeks ago. It’s an eventful stretch of highway!
Meanwhile, in Maryland:
Oh hey, that’s only like a 20 minute drive from my parents house! I should check if they have power
There is a fantastic massage lady who apparently only works on Sundays, totally worth missing the first half of the late games. How are y’all doing?
Great! Team Galactic is leading the marble league!
That sounds exciting!
Remember that game where you had to try to get a marble around a course by tilting the surface without having the marble fall in a hole? I bet that would be really hard to do on a boat.
That ended way different than I was expecting.
But you’re thinking of marble labyrinth.
Yes! That evil lower left corner…I don’t think I ever got past the lower right
I played with ours often enough that I mastered it.
If Santa Clara would have read last week’s Sexy Friday they could have avoided this Roach infestation today.
Sad to say you…NAILED IT with Charmslinger. Unless Failson Hackett is the entirety of the problem (even I am not deluded enough to believe that)
Thank fuck I fell asleep in Q2 of the early slate. I woke up to the MRSA-losing play. WELL DONE, JACOBY!!!
Why is the field in Seattle grey?
The Ben in town for Call of Duty convention?
Isn’t everything in Seattle?
Correct. Except for the 2 months of July and August.
@Horatio do you want me to pick this up for your wife’s client to offer to her ex-husband as part of any divorce settlement?
–
Ugh, these shittay, shittay Rams are harshing my buzz
WTF is McDaniels kicking a FG on 2nd down with 11 seconds left in the half?
That’s Rikki’s Raiders!
“It’s too complicated for you to understand.” – Josh McDaniels, his voice dripping with contempt
Who is this with Gumby announcing the Seahawks game?
Adam Archuleta
He is just awful
We will tell the others.
He’s asleep and snoring in his recliner. We is old.
Listen, it’s not a big deal, but DON’T INTERCEPT THE BALL ON 4TH DOWN.
Gotta get those numbers up for the next contract.
You would think that if you’ve been playing football since you were three years old you’d know that.
Oof. Jalen Ramsay hasn’t been burned like that since he decided to invest heavily in Tesla this spring.
Still doing better than the Jaguars under Tom Coughlin.
The football always brings me back-that was a stupid insane tilt!
Trevor Lawrence is an assassin.
AND his milkshake brings the boys to the yard!
CRAZYBANANACAKES mode has been unlocked. Holy fuckballs.
DUVAL!!!!
As part of “the Lumen crowd”, we are ALWAYS IN IT for every damn drive. Fuck off Mr Announcer whateveryourdumbnameis
Look at these Jaguras, acting like they’re a real NF franchise!
“Clap if you believe!”
-Tinkerbell
I would say Bucs ded but that division is real bad.
I wanna see a Brady melt down, I wonder if Gisselle left because Tom’s on field performance was echoing his performance in the bedroom. Ineffectual pump action, really short dump offs, not enough tight end action, can only go deep a few times per session, that sort of thing.
You sir, have earned yourself a banner.
Why thank you, I am honored to be among such luminaries!
That banner’s gonna be longer than a Warhammer wiki entry.
(seriously, A&H’s articles have sent me down a couple of rabbit holes that I don’t think end. They’re like black holes for productivity, so naturally I love them)
Thank you, with the World Cup of Corruption being televised and the season, I have kinda slowed down, but I am starting the next entry this coming week.
Yeah, Mock Drafts are on hold as long as Group play continues for the same reason.
It’s called “The Warp”, Horatio.
Love it.
Ciara looking for Gisele’s number to you know just catch up
Holy shit, Browns!
It’s Stidham time!
That’s My Raiders need a mechanic ASAP to fix their Carr.
The Jags are trying to flip the script-I’m on board.
After four plays (including the kickoff, which they received) you’ll never guess which team is already losing 7-0.
That’s My Raiders!
Holy shit do the broncos stink. That Russ trade might be in the top 5 of “worst of all time” level bad.
They sunk all of my FF teams. Just a brutal trade.
At least the Vikings got some production out of Walker.
walker told me I have aids – YouTube
This season has so little solace for me. Russell Wilson is one of the very few bright spots.