You know, so that the soccery types can talk about the soccer. And the footbally types can talk football-there everyone’s happier than the proverbial clam. (Where the hell did that phrase come from?, I wonder)
To The Games!
Broncos/Panthers:
Hey, Carolina is parading yet another sub-average qb out on to the field today! Sam Darnold is apparently being re-evaluated before he hits free agency but that’s pure silliness, methinks. Desperate teams do desperate things.
Bucs/Browns:
Enjoy Jacoby Brissett while you still can. The Masseuse Abuser returns next week and the length of the suspension and the workings of the schedule make everyone with a working brain roll their eyes to infinity.
Ravens/Jags:
Baltimore has won four in a row and is looking more and more like the team was supposed to look at the outset of the season. During the streak the D has given up a shade over 14 points although Lamar has not thrown for over 240 yards-it’s a team effort thingy.
Texans/Fins:
Not much to say here-Houston is re-arranging deck chairs on their sinking ship, tossing Kyle Allen into the mix. Looks like the Fins get a freebie here and will strengthen their lead in the AFC East, given that the Pats lost and the Jets have problems on O.
Bears/Jets:
Yet another team that is switching things up at the qb spot and finally, a White guy catches a break! Credit goes to Saleh, (peace be with you) he knows his D is good enough to keep him in games and there is enough raw talent on O. He just needs to find a guy to unlock it, though he doesn’t have many options.
Bengals/Titans:
Ja’Marr was practicing this week and my fantasy team in money league was hopeful but the scuttlebutt now says that he won’t be playing. Trey Burk finally got unstuck last week and plunked down 111 yards receiving. Just what the Titans have been looking for-a weapon in the passing game that can do awful damage on play-action. I don’t imagine any team would want to play them in the post-season.
Enjoy.
We just got busted for going to the hotel last night because Mrs. Cornblower stole all the shower stuff and Daughter Cornblower found it.
Both Harbaughs lose within 24 hours. Jack’s gonna have them fight each other with rusty meathooks on Christmas Eve for this.
Me: Well, this will probably be the last possession, so either Brady loses or we get a most glorious tie.
Also Me: You idiot, it’s the Browns. Brisket is going to throw a pick-six, and the announcers will then praise Brady’s gritty veteran leadership for the win.
For once the football gods decided to be on the side of Good
OL Wirfs may have gotten Theissman’d.
Just turning on the game, has TB Cleveland been a tug of war? Is the Shaun not going to squeeze one out? Not like he deserves a happy ending.
He can’t play until next week.
Don’t choke the chicken of my joke.
I suck. I should leave.
Come on, you know you’re everyone’s favorite
Nice catch Njoku!
Didn’t even need any help from a defensive back. Eat your heart out, Jefferson.
It’s kinda hilarious that the Ravens can’t put the Jags away.
Bengals have a 4th Quarter 20-16 lead. Where have I seen this before?
somebody is gonna punch russ in the face and its gonna rally the team to wins
https://twitter.com/AGretz/status/1596966766420303872
I mean… I get it.
.
“We…we could do that?” – Countless Bengals players
Germany deserves to lose after missing a chance like that.
-Churchill, autumn, 1940
-Stalin, winter, 1941
Watching Dunkirk?
They didn’t miss twice.
Basmati rice > jasmine rice.
(And brown rice is better than both.)
#1-Wild Rice
#2 Basmati Rice
#3 Egg-fried Rice
#4 Brown Rice
#5 Jim Rice
#6 Uncle Ben’s Rice
#7 Jasmine Rice
Jerry Rice?
I mean, he was kinda good- I give him a 4.3.
Condoleeza Rice
She’s a war criminal-she’s way down the list.
Saffron – Vigo’s Yellow Rice
What about Risotto?
What team does he play for? My guess is Malta.
Rice A Roni is the San Francisco treat! People forget that.
Gotta admire Jimmy Smits, he gave it his best as a leading man in movies and now he fills the default “Obligatory Hispanic Guy” role that white TV producers desperately want in their dumb police/lawyer shows.
Also has had Bail Organa on lock for ages, so there’s that, too.
He’s an expert in lesser-known Haitian witchcraft practices? I did not know that!
He was also good on the last season of West Wing as Obama-as-a-Latino.
I wish there was a real life Obama-as-a-Latino.
When you say “white TV producers” you’re actually saying “the Jews”
[pushes glasses up nose] “Mostly Jews”.
Whatta mook.
He’s being taken to Qatar for Tuesdays game as advisor for someone who can get it in the net
A half-hearted search yielded nothing-was his broccoli slightly over-cooked?
Vulturedown Rundown:
-Anthony Schwartz
-JaMycal Hasty
-the aforementioned Smythe
-Kieft
-Byron Pringle
-MyCole Pruitt
If you started one of these guys, I congratulate your desperate ass.
I told ya about these guys
-Boris
What the hell is a Ko Kieft?
He’s just one K away from three strikeouts and/or being a virulent racist.
“It can be both!!” – Curt Schilling
Lovely callout.
Luke Fickell to Wisconsin. Have fun losing to Ohio State, Michigan and Penn State in the Big 10 Championship, Coach Fock!
Here’s a joke from the “cliched and unfinished” pile:
Wow, I cant believe you guys are watching and supporting such an immoral game organized by cheating, lying, bribing (other Dan Snyderisms here) scoundrels. <italics>I’ll</italics> be watching the World Cup instead.
Offsides when the ball was struck, onsides when he headed it, and now the ball is flat and has to be changed.
Did Dan Snyder organize this game?
A little help from Brady though.*
*he didn’t pay the consulting fee
He did have socker cleats on Taylor’s “statue”
Just absolutely amazing.
Tua may have a back owie now. Like for real. Got bent over backwards
Spain/Germany-you just hate to see two old friends that agreed to bomb innocent villagers, fight amongst one another.
This has been some lousy soccer.
Those are the Jets, Rikki.
Whoops, I mean lousy “football”.
“Seriously. I’ve been more entertained watching nine year-olds play.” – Brad Childress
Greg the Leg good FG from 57 yards out. In the rain. Wow
/flipping back and forth between the Jets, Cincy and the footy offering-may have to call in sick tomorrow with a sprained thumb.
I can barely hold a pen!
Aren’t you the boss?
I still have to call in-can’t just not show up with no explanation whatsoever.
https://twitter.com/UrinatingTree/status/1596944653982773248
Those sounds with the play is awesome
Shan’Khor always saves her best stuff for the Browns.
Mike White in a nutshell-throws a hospital ball to Wilson on one set of downs and a TD to him on another.
I feel like it dishonors the memory of Sean Taylor for fans to not confiscate and destroy this abomination of a “tribute”.
as someone on twitter put it: nike jersey, reebok pants, adidas soccer cleats
perfect
It’s like they just used whatever was around. Actually that’s exactly what they did. “No one will notice “
Snyder: “I need a statue of Sean Taylor. Your budget is $250. Now get going!”
Statue Team Member: “We could go to Macy’s, buy a mannequin from them.”
Other Member: “I’ve got some old football pads from high school-we could use that.”
Other Member: “Right. All we need is a uniform… Do you think we could get a discount from the store at the stadium?”
Other Members: [in unison] “HA!”
Other Member: One word: dhgate
Other other Member: Won’t that take too long?
Other Member: It will cost $15 and Mr. Snyder gets a kickback.
All Members: DONE!
Doesn’t look like he even shelled out for a mannequin.
Same vibe
The Tits got LUCKY on that end zone fumble.
My son’s friend had a bet on “Derrick Henry TD anytime” so the luck did not extend particularly far.
Burks TD! (in a very weird way-recovery in the end zone) This play belongs to the Bears/Jets tilt.
I always wonder why Rammstein’s Du Hast is not the German national anthem…
Or maybe this one!
https://youtu.be/NeQM1c-XCDc
You try and tell me you wouldn’t run through a brick wall after hearing that song if you’re German.
INFINITE BEARISTOJETS
It’s as good as was billed. Lotta guys out there that shouldn’t be.
This Bears/Jets game needs snow, not sleet damnit!
Tyreek has 60 yards in the 1st quarter and the Fins passing TD goes to…Durham Smythe? Sounds like an intersection in Liverpool.
I just feel so bad for Hill when things like that happen.
Got mad, so I went and hung up the Christmas lights. Seems like a productive thing to do amidst footy disappointment.
I guess it’s nawt raining there yet.
Mrs. Scotchnaut has made, oh, 150 Swedish meatballs this morning-I’m eating them in front of the dogs in order to remind them who’s the Alpha around here.
You deliver, right?
We go as far as Belleville every other week-meet us halfway?
(He wants the dogs)
Totally getting this for the DFO Swingers Saturdays Monthly events!
Have your dwarf call my dwarf
Of course the Jets D could sniff out a Jet Sweep play-that’s just science.
Letting Russ Cook Leftovers
Leave it to the Croatians to boo Canada’s ethnic Serb goalkeeper
Was that the loudest game you’ve been to so far?
I swapped in Chris Godwin over Olave at the last minute. Feeling pretty clever right now.
sounds like no peterman to start, but history tells us peterman is eventually going in whether he likes it or not
I like how the NFL – which is broadcasting Tampa-Cleveland here in the LA market – isn’t even trying to compete with Germany-Spain.
Is there a large Little Cleveland community in the Greater Los Angeles area?
I only know one Browns fan here in LA. He actually used to work for the organization and got cancer.
Working for the Browns, that’ll happen more often than not.
They believe their own bullshit, that everyone loooooooooooooves Tawmmy!
Chubb is feeling frisky this morning.
As a novice here, why did Canada not substitute players? They are clearly tired. Do they just lack depth? You would think that fresher legs would be worth a dip in experience / skills at that point.
I often wonder that myself.
I don’t think they lack depth. I think the coach is not that good.
lol how quiet they got
(also, considering how quick that thing was made, wonder whats getting leaked tomorrow)
https://twitter.com/mysportsupdate/status/1596920547094298625
Snyder probably arranged the break in at his house
Probably didn’t pay the guy-
“Femoral artery? Jesus Christ! I specifically told you to go for the carotid!”
David Montgomery is the Bearisticrats! emergency QB. Oh please, Dear Jeebus, let us have some.
I am not in a good mood.
Whiskey will help with that.
Today’s early slate of football are certainly inspiring, inspiring me to play Valheim or read crappy translations of Chinese web novels.
You’re not excited for Nathan Peterman-Mike White?
oh the MEMES!
It’s a fucking Wonderbread convention.
Mormoncon.
I had originally resolved to just watch, and lay off the Footy Manager. But re-assessing that now.
Perfect time for a nice 5 mile walk on the harbor. It’s lovely out.
It is pouring rain here like the tail end of Heaven’s downspout.
Or like the cheap seats in FedEx field.