Hey, in Mississippi, that thar SOO-PREME COWRT done said 15 weeks is late term. Suck it, libtards!
RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! (+7.5) at Packers (8:15, ESPN/ABC)
Isn’t it fucking hilarious how THIS fixture, of all fixtures, gets network teevee coverage? One assumes Disney felt safe that this one would be relevant. Oopsie-doodle! Baker Mayfield, 60,000 Wisconsin drunks in sub-freezing weather. I don’t see how any of this could go wrong.
Critical Thinking will be 6-8 with a win here, and the sportsball media hawt taekers will be ready, willing, and able to go in dry. Christ in Heaven, OKC Bomber. Put them out of their misery, will ya?
I am still mentally reeling from yesterday’s GLORIOUS CHAOS, and the notion that the Premier League returns in one week’s time. Make sure you have ample supplies near the sofa or recliner of your choice. It’s time to GET SEDENTARY!
Can’t believe I grew up in Montana and yet I’m still way better in Washington’s rain than the locals.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KmF2EqVAbY
For reference, my best time there in the dry is 1:29 something.
https://vimeo.com/699914162
I am tired, see yinz tomorrow!
In recapping…
So how many abortions actually happened tonight? The state of Texas demands to know.
I had a couple.
Like a fucking Lady!!
Never forget
Those goal posts must have been moved.
So i got this screenshot earlier. Could’ve been a scoregami
Look, I hate Baker, but run the ball until it’s 3rd and long, that’s not even setting up the QB position for anything successful.
The Lambs just suck balls all around, starting with the play calling.
A little late, but still relevant
20 bucks sez Litre asks if this is real!
We all get that, not so fresh, feeling.
Show brady whiffing that tackle one the eagles!
Nope, nosir, no RayRay for me. The Mannings are driving me to Joe and Troy.
It’s statistically impossible to be worse than Joe and troy
As far as I know, they’ve never actually murdered anyone. Bored them to death, maybe, but no stabbing!
RB position in GB > Sammy Watkins
Since we’re doing dog pictures…. the shih tzu is being judgemental and wondering why I gave him a haircut before the storm of the century
They are such drama queens.
Squeeeeeeeee!
Lol I threw a toy at it and they immediately starting humping it.
My girl hates toys except for balls.
Ok, but what about your dog?
Wait. How did your dog know that The Storm of the Century was coming? I smell Shenanigans.*
*Shenanigans was a 2nd place finisher in a dog show (in the Boxer category) that took place in Wyoming back in ’06. Don’t ask me how I know this.
Awww! Cutie.
The earth has experienced more than a dozen waves of extinctions. Nothing that you could possibly identify as ‘human’ exists. All of the largest mountains have fallen into each other because seas and oceans no longer exist.
“Welcome friends, to The Fastest Three Minutes” plays on an infinite loop, into the colorless void…
Hey gumbygirl, have you ever done the eye drink method at home?
Not on purpose.
Thats….That’s..not good hustle?
I hardly ever drink anymore. I have had plenty of weed smoke in the eye, does that count?
You’d have to ingest it through the eye though
My retinas are probably a little resinous.
I helped make this:
The dresser?
I was going with “the haunted look” but yours is less cringeworthy.
You should have worked harder on the nose.
That nose is a family heirloom.
My uncle stole mine. Fucker died before I could get it back. I was digging through his shed looking for it and then my aunt started yelling at me that “37 is too old for that shit” and to “leave her the hell alone”
Job Interviewer: “What happened to your nose?”
Brocky: [begins bawling]
It’s a fine haircut. Ever thought about opening a barber shop?
I can’t imagine the testicular fortitude it would take to gamble on getting a haircut from jjfozz with a straight razor and scissors at his disposal.
“Free haircuts for the homeless” sign and the amount of hobo bodies found headless would stun the cops.
I like my field goals like I like my porn starts…long and Gay.
What a BIG GAY KICK that was!
“Like wow Scoobs, Mrs. Fozz packed those stockings with loads of gummies!”
In honor of my favorite manning cast moment of all time
Eli would take the quarters simply for the arcade value. Hello, Gauntlet marathon!
Introducing the Ravens’ new offensive coordinator
“We can play if you want, but I’ve seen some things.”
That is a beautiful doggo!
“I’m just the dog but I’m trying to make things right in this family. Things aren’t looking good.”
Touchdown, Air Bud
A year ago I was scraping bottom. Almost at the end of rope. I had just fucked up on the biggest freelance project I had on my books.
Friday I got a killer performance review, bonus, and a raise. And a nice box of gifts from my employer.
On Saturday I beat my old boss into unconsciousness with my grandmother’s rolling pin.
So yeah, good couple of days.
Maintaining balance is well-important!
It’s been two years, and I want to drink a grapefruit daiquiri out of his skull
You were in my basement beating someone else to death-just in case anyone asks.
(fingers crossed for Elon Musk)
Well, I know where his plane is . . .
That dude is off the fucking rails
Pretty sure he’s on some high-end rails.
I finished Andor and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Don’t know the guy, but how’d you finish him?
He used one of those grappling hook things from mortal kombat then ripped out the dude’s spine with the skull attached
hot af
Flawless Victory!
A gal has to keep her secrets
Hunter Renfrow has been pushing that show on the rest of the Raiders like you wouldn’t believe.
I’ll reiterate my loathing for those fuckhead Packers fans. Thanks to my bottomless well of hatred, I’m able to dedicate a sizeable piece to them.
They’re every but as bad as patriots fans, just slightly better at masking their racism
In that case, you might not want to have a Packers super-fan as your avatar. Unless that’s Clarence Boddicker-era Kurtwood Smith.
But please don’t direct your super-powered hate towards me and congrats on all your success in the past year
Rushing touchdown for Senor. SIKE! That’s the wrong rusher. -Supa Hot Fire
(But he’s not a rapper.)
In honor of tonight’s headline:
https://youtu.be/vxkQXK0kRd0
I see halftime cold medicine and passing out in me future.
Not sure how the marketing team at Massengill never signed Rogers as a spokesperson.
Fuck I hate that guy.
He’s even too much of a douche for them.
Until they’ve solved The Mega Douche Conundrum Qaron can’t be a reputable rep.
Wait, Hurts is hurt? I mean, it’s in the name, I get it. I totally should have seen this coming.
So long fantasy season.
Happens to everybody. Sooommmmetimes.
He just did it to see if he could feel.
Derek Carr stares ahead, nods
“If Rodgers has anything to say about it Cobb will be back next year.”
That’s true, Troy, except for the small detail that the Green Bay front office loathes Aaron.
And he’s assuming Rodgers will be there next year.
He ain’t gonna survive COVID22 currently under constriction in my lab.
This one hurts.
Gumby and I were born in 1960. Fuck.
Well that sucks.
Anyone have a few billion I can borrow?
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/dan-snyder-exploring-possible-commanders-sale-first-round-of-bidding-process-closes-at-end-of-week/
We’re watching a terrible Christmas movie. One of the characters is an “LA Lawyer” but his office is obviously located in Rialto or Duarte or La Verne or Fontana.
Not to get hockey in your football, but holy shit this move:
https://twitter.com/oldhockeycards/status/1605016760159436800
To paraphrase a similar komment from the former mothership, this guy is like a son to Andy Reid.
https://twitter.com/kyleayers/status/1604975112553263104
That is some Next Level hustle. I guess we’ll be seeing Revanchist again in 5-7, assuming good behavioUr
HA HA HA HA HE HAD THOSE STUPID BANK TELLERS IN FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES AND THEY PROBABLY HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT THOSE ROBBERIES HA HA HA HA [does tomahawk chop and chant]
In summation, Chiefs fan/bank robber is not a man of many contrasts.
Otto kinda lost it after Trump was elected.
He wasn’t alone.
He critically thought trying to read that defense.
Most of you sheeple would throw the ball to your own receiver, but not Qaron. He’s out there playing 4-D chess, like a kid.
“Let’s talk about why this non-mainstream strategy is best”
-J. Rogan
Imagine if MNF bumper muzak gets us all out the LDB Challenge!
I really don’t understand why you don’t watch the games on mute.
I have the Manningcast on one screen. Toluca v América on another. Both have closed captioning. And I have music playing.
It depends on how bad the commentary is. Better able to mute if/when I am paying better attention. As it is, I can mostly text and play FM.
(for some reason, Troy and Joe are less bothersome this week, probably because I am half-zoned out)
I will see if that’s true or just your pills talking when the Manning’s have Stabby Ray on.
I really don’t understand why you don’t watch the games on mute
-The Marlee Matlincast
oh YES!
I presume you have MILF Manor on a third screen?
On 2nd thought, I think I’ll skip this broadcast when I get home after work.
True Fact: Green Bay citizens have purchased more 5XL NFL jerseys than all other cities combined.
[throws challenge flag] – Indianapolis Colts fans
Oh great, a bunch of Colts fans just suffered multiple rotator cuff injuries! RTD-have you stopped to think about how your jokes are over-taxing the already over-taxed American health care system?
I would have said bullshit, it’s got to be Cleveland, but nobody buys their jerseys. Except Gumby, he has a snazzy Tim Couch one.
I completely forgot the Fightin’ Horatios were playing in the Myrtle Beach Bowl, and judging from what I’m reading on Twitter so did they.
Any time one goes to Myrtle Beach, “avoided the clap” is the best plausible outcome.
RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! is at least trying. If I was playing for OKC Bomber, guess I’d stay all motivated too.
Hockey talking guys gushing about Ovechkin’s durability over his career of bodychecks. And his longevity, and quick recovery times, and high red blood cell count, and small testicles…
The true All-Star is that man’s liver.
somehow, all that came back from my physical’s bloodwork is slightly elevated cholestoral
Mine is way high. Everything else is good, and I refuse to take any medicine that disallows grapefruit, so my doctor and I are having a standoff.
GUH, grapefruit is the only super-healthy thing I likes! And kale, for some wackadoo reason (raw or juiced only). When I would take the kids to Great Wolf Lodge, I would eat nothing but grapefruit and bacon off the buffet line LMAO.
Doctor wants me to get in some cardio, I just have no fucking energy.
“We’ve got a slush fund that will make that all [waves hands] magically disappear.”
-Hockey Canada
It worked FOAR the Catholic Church!
The upside of my medical appointment was that I found a Jamaican place in Sudbury, Ontario! I’m having goat curry and jerk pork for the first time in 3(?) years. Amazing stuff.
/I had dirty rice as a side which reminded me of Big Black Richard-hope he’s still out there in the ether
Did Schefterbot 3.2 short-circuit? Why is it yelling at everyone?
I know there’s a lot of law talking guys in this here website and I just happen to need some advice. What exactly is a “criminal referral from Congress” and how should I go about defending myself from one?
Well, the first step is to aver that’s it’s one of ‘the greatest criminal referrals of all time”.
You want to plead the 35th amendment, not the 5th. That’s the secret.
I accidentally called my mom back east during Jeopardy!
Not a good idea . . .
[slams down phone] “I’ll Take Completely Irresponsible Sons for $600, Mayim!”
-Mrs. Meathook nee, Ms. Bankdraft (from the lower New Hampshire Bankdrafts clan)
Can I just say that Hippo LOVES RG3’s fookin’ hat
I was just saying that hat is CHURCH!
It fits his affable goofball persona SO PERFECTLY.
‘Church’ is a descriptor now? I can’t keep with these 60 yr. old youngun’s.
It’s a southern thang.
Do you wear a bona fide Vidalia on your belt?
U noe it!
I need 30 points from the Green Bay defence in order to win my FF playoff game in my money league.
Yeah, I know it ain’t happening. But maybe like Betelgeuse if you say it enough times, it happens?
My monkey league gives you +10 for a defensive score, which I think is very fair. In addition to +3 for turnovers. Run two back? Baby, Balls got a STEW goin!
This post will act as the next Dead Sea Scrolls of HippoSpeek for whatever civilization reads it in 4500 years.