Excuse me, it’s taken most of the day to come down from yesterday’s win. During the game I took several tours of the house because I was all wound up. After the third tour wifey said, “Would you stop? You’re making me nervous!”. I just couldn’t help myself.
Hey, tonight for the football fans (that don’t support either of these squadoos) out there it’s nut-cutting time in that most are inclined to pick a side and boy, it’s rough. Myself, I just can’t think of any scenario whereby I could back Brady. I have wanted Dallas to win at times but only for NFC East purposes that benefit the Giants. I think I’ll remain a neuter here.
To The Game!
Cowboys/Bucs:
-Though he’s not played them very often, Brady has not lost to Dallas-he’s 7-0.
-DAK! has been having himself some wandering balls problems. He’s thrown an INT in seven straight games and has been mistake-free in only two games this year.
-Want to feel old? Dallas hasn’t won a road playoff game since Mike Tyson was convicted of raping Desiree Washington. Oh, what’s that? You want to hear about other things that occurred when the Cowboys last won away from home?
-Barney and Friends debuted.
-Amy Fisher shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco.
-John Gotti was sentenced to life in prison.
-Batman: The Animated Series first began.
-Dre Dre released The Chronic.
-Compact discs outsold audio cassette tapes for the first time.
-Mortal Kombat was released.
-Jay Leno becomes the new host of The Tonight Show.
-The Yankees sign Danny Tartabul.
-Moldova joins the U.N.
-Billy Ray Cyrus burst into the national consciousness.
-Malcolm X is released. (in theatres, not from prison)
-Barry Bond signs the biggest one year contract in MLB history-it’s a staggering $4.7 million bones.
-That’s how long the drought has been. Wow. Helluva job, Jerrah!
Go for it.
Dude. No way.
Nailed It!
— B Walsh
The refs are fucking with Brent Maher right now.
“The previous play has been confirmed, which we knew all along. Hopefully the kicker is even more nervous. Let’s watch!”
This is good. kick it again for the LOLZ
“And as Dak marched down the field the Tampa Bay defense were all snuggled asleep in their beds.”
-excerpt from “Horatio’s Boner Grew Three Sizes One Night”
Subtitle: “Four Inches of Glory”
Mrs. Horatio: “Say that again, but slower.”
The Master’s is in April. Fuck outta here with these ads
If the Cowboys score a TD on this drive, I’d still attempt an extra point for comedy reasons.
Absolutely.
Dreamboat needs Karma Chameleon playing as he sails his way off to irrelevance
“HEY! We’re not completely irrelevant!”
-The Raiders
Brady’s sexuality aside, he should be serenaded by Boy George at all times.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88sARuFu-tc&ab
Wait…Bronski Beat guy is gay???
I also here the Pet Shop Boys are!
I still say Dreamboat is sleepwalking through this
Jerry is gonna cut the kicker at halftime, is he?
or shot him.
As in Gus Fring’s definition of “cut.”
Take him to the train station — John Dutton
I would like a Leonard Fournette td for old times sake, and while you are at t throw in a Zeke too.
Hype music for the last half. Let’s Go Dallas!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pCv7k_Hzvg&t=1s&ab
I hear Brett Maher is hosting the Yips Yap podcast.
Well look at that!
Brett Maher and The Yips are taking booking playing dates first thing tomorrow morning.*
*preferably in Europe
Deion Sanders talking about roughing like he ever tackled anyone.
https://twitter.com/fleshwound_NPG/status/1615128271477215233?s=20&t=BbHu2oFtP-d8pEafIqQuEA
The cannons don’t thunder
There’s nothing to plunder
Tom’s an over 40 victim of fate
I like Mando. This interests me. Please show me more.
micah got hurt
He’ll be fine.
Toradol’s a hell of a drug.
A Hippo’s ears in NC perk up from his slumber.
/leg twitches
//DFO Clubhouse, in unison: “Aww, he’s dreaming again!”
Stuff is truly miraculous.
WHY’S THE DOOR OPEN CLOSE THE DOOR
One of the greatest skits ever.
Alex Smith put some long pants on we’re still eating dinner here jeez.
.
What’s the single game missed extra point record?
lol
https://twitter.com/billbarnwell/status/1615176245511176192
I think you’re looking at it
Nongendered Cowperson special teams trying to contribute:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmH34M6UPwc
Also, if Tampa does not come back to win, Tom Brady should not get into the Hall of Fame until after Trevor Lawrence.
Somewhere Scott Norwood has got to have the weirdest boner right now
I bet it bends right.
I legit feel really bad for Brett Maher.
I felt the same way a long time ago when I found out he was Bill’s son.
Maher’s gonna be taken out and shot at halftime.
Take him to the train station — Yellowstone
SHANK’LOR is gonna look like Fat Elvis by the end of this game.
Peyton is hilarious on missed XP
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. The fucking kicker!
Moar like MEHer
Trés!
Nailed It!
– B. Walsh
FUCK YEAH!
Pouty Brady is Best Brady
Penalty coming out of a timeout. Super
I enjoyed the premier episode of the last of us.
Is that the sequel to This is us?
God, I wish.
Might be with the time jump. Can’t rule it out yet
https://twitter.com/jimmyoutsold/status/1614848032981323776?s=20&t=BbHu2oFtP-d8pEafIqQuEA
I have a feeling Timmy Brady is going to give Al Pacino ‘s speech from Any Given Sunday to rally the boys; especially the whole “I lost my kids and my marriage” line
Want to know how bad Dallas has been lately? I am sort of rooting for them to win. Its been so long since they’ve been relevant. Plus I go to DFW for work at least once a year and that Cowboys team store in E gate needs some new merch from newer since the early 1990s.
I still have a lot of resentment for brady, so I wouldn’t mind either of these teams losing
Whoever wins this week will lose next week. Shouldn’t be too painful for the rest of you.
Hilton was such a good late-season pick-up for Dallas.
She’s a great pickup for anyone. As long as you double wrap it.
I wouldn’t fuck her with Bea Arthur’s dick.
80 For Brady is the lemon party movie you never wanted but are getting anyway.
You sick, horrible bastard.
Thank you.
Tommy looks like he wants the season over
After a long, difficult season, at least he can go home to his wife and kids–
and get back to Frenching his son
This game needs to go faster.
I am in favor of stopping the count now.
WTF. Can’t make Extra Point
You know you’re getting old when the knot on the back of your neck is so bad you’re debating duct taping a bag of peas to your head
Last Friday I pulled a muscle in my side getting out of a chair. I’m well past my ‘best by’ date.
PRAISE SHA’NKLOR
/Matt Nagy experiences a tremendous disturbance in The Force
Hail SHANK’LOR!
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
Twice.
Maher has the Bucs and the points.
I give McCarthy a lot of shit, (“I’d prefer cake” says Mike), but that was a great call.
DAK DOWN!