Good January to you!

/Lights smoke.

/Offseason here we come. I’ll start with a TWBS classic.

So Thursdays eh? Yep The illustrious BFC and I will be splitting duties this offseason due to both of us being too busy and have too many crippling addictions to each have a night every week to ourselves.

Wine Time!

If you are newer around here I attempt to provide tips to make wine buying easier at the liquor store, winery, restaurant, bar, and grocery store (in US). Last year’s wrapup you can find here which has links to all of the wine stuff through last offseason. Please leave comments on what you would like to know more about and any questions which I can hope to answer for you.

This week let’s talk about wine tastings!

I was recently at a tasting with Mrs. Cola that took place at a wine store. It was a 100 percent Italian tasting which I thought would help to continue my learning about that country’s wine, as if you recall I skirted the country all those years ago when I passed my diploma. It also helps that I moonlight in an Italian restaurant (am in fact working right now as you read this).

Rule 1 and I can’t stress this enough. Do NOT wear Axe body spray, or Brut, or cologne, or perfume. Be smell neutral. I shit you not these 2 ladies were doused in so much perfume the whole damn room smelled like them. There were 14 booths and every single damn one smelled like Chanel Cooch.

When you are in the umbrella of people around a booth it is perfectly reasonable to just stick your arm out to the vendor for whatever he is pouring. If you want to be picky then wait your turn for the front of the line. Usually you get to the point where your palate is shot and just want to get some more wine in you so reach out like a panhandler. If you are at a cellar door just wait your damn turn, they will get to you. Be as nice as possible to the people behind those counters because there is always something open that isn’t on the tasting menu and you will get some.

Ask the wine rep about the wine, terroir, vineyard etc do not engage in chit chat when there is a line of people behind you. All that person wants to do is sell their wares and keep moving. They do NOT want to hear about your vacation 37 years ago to Paris where you had a good wine this one time….. This rule differs if you are at a cellar door and you are the only one in there. Tell ALL your stories as that person is probably bored and you will get to drink all the stuff below the counter.

Take notes. After you make the rounds then you can see whether you truly liked certain wines or if it was just the booze talking. When you are bouncing from winery to winery use your notes to order wine from your fave wineries as temptation is to always buy a few bottles at each place. By the end you are hammered and buying mediocre stuff just for the hell of it.

The travel story of the day is the circumstances where I met my Thursday post partner BFC here in Canadia.

He had stated in an Open Thread that he was coming to our fine city for someone’s stag and would be able to meet up for a drink. (Incredibly random the DC to Calgary stag)

Hooray, my first real life DFOer, other than BC Dick!

Well, as a good Canadian gentleman I brought a bag of really strong weed cookies which I had made from BC Dick’s weed butter. This stuff is so strong that if you have too much of it then you feel like you are on LSD. BFC told me that he doesn’t indulge but he would be sure to pass it on to the stag. I gave a stern warning that these were not to be messed with and that the lads should start small and then take more if needed. Once when I overindulged I stared at my pint of Guinness in a pub for 20 minutes straight and then ran into the trees by said pub because apparently I needed nature.

We proceeded to have a couple shots of Jamesons and chat for a bit.I was to be on my way as he was still involved at a dinner with the lads. Gave him the cookies with another warning, be careful.

As I was leaving I stopped in the bathroom and two younger gentlemen entered at the same time.

“Did you get some of those cookies from BFC?”

“Yeah, he said his buddy brought them and that they were strong, but I ate two.”

I chuckled, and can only imagine the carnage that ensued afterwards as they truly were like being on acid.

Also, I am watching Milf Manor on TLC so I will break all that down as well in the coming weeks. This is what Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy predicted and I am here for it.

It’s Thursday in January, drink a Syrah.