Your All Glorious Superb Owl Open Thread

As Barry Manilow famously said, “Looks like we made it!” As with every season, t’was a tortuous route for all of us-we lost some some folks/fans but we gained some as well and learned something along the way. (I learned that I didn’t learn anything, which is a kind of learning)

Some Superb Owl Facts You May Not Know-

-The game was named by famous ornithologist John James Audubon who also named The Great Horned Owl on the very same day, the only man to name two species in a 24 hour period. The Germans were so impressed with this feat they named their highway system after him!

-Wacko Super Bowl truthers insist that Lamar Hunt named it after a kid’s toy. (thank heavens the Hunt kids weren’t playing with a Slinky) Actually, sports writers were calling it the Super Bowl back in 1966-Arthur Dailey, a columnist in New York called it ‘the superduper bowl’. It caught on quite easily, given that some of the competition out there at the time was The Bluebonnet Bowl, The Tangerine Bowl, The Sun Bowl and The Pasadena Bowl.

-The game has only been played in Canada-adjacent states three times-each time Michigan and Minnesota’s Labatt’s and Molson reservoirs came dangerously close to drying up. Lesson learned, America!

To The Game!

Chiefs/Eagles:

-Is there a betting line on Kadarius Toney getting hurt? Because he is going to get hurt. As far as other props go, I’d take a Justin Watson anytime TD at +700. You can take the Gatoraid prop and give yourself an enema with it.

-The only teams to record more than the Eagles 70 sacks are the ’89 Vikes (71) and the ’84 Bears (72).

-To offset that pressure look for K.C. to employ wr screens, jet sweeps and delayed screens to the running backs.

-Shoulder Responsibilities?: Hurts was an effective deep passer in the regular season but he is only 2 of 7 on passes of 20+ yards in the playoffs. (none of them for scores)

-Much like all at their position, Philly’s lb’s are overmatched vs Kelce. For that reason the team may turn to man fathered by a 19th century English manservant and birthed by an accountancy firm, one Chauncey Gardner-Johnson.

-The Chiefs run game on 1st down in the playoffs is a crapshoot. They’ve averaged 2.8 yards per carry so far.

-Hassan Reddick Feast Day: He’ll be lined up against Chiefs guard Andrew Wylie who has, bless his heart, very generously given up (9!) sacks so far this year.

-Philly nay-sayers have pointed out that the quality of teams they’ve played against isn’t exactly top-notch. Football Outsiders has their sked ranked as the easiest in the league by a good margin. And really, they’ve battled against the likes of Josh Johnson, One-Armed Purdy, Webb, Rush, Pickett, Mills, Heinicke and Dalton. Do those guys even qualify as ‘C’ level talent?

-“Tyreek, Who’s He?”: The Chiefs as a team had more yards after the catch than any squadoo in the last 15 years. Using the Expected Points Added metric, the offense became more efficient than it was last year.

-Mahomes’ EPA per pass play ranking vs zone? #1. Vs man? #1. Vs the blitz? #1. Vs no blitz? #1. Vs split safeties? #1. Vs single-high safeties? #2, like a sucker.

-No team has beaten the Chiefs by more than 4 points this year.

-K.C. likes to play press coverage and wr Brown ranks #1 there but he’s been quiet in the playoffs with 7 grabs (on 14 targets) for a mere 54 yards. He’s been open but Hurts has missed him.

-All things considered, I’m leaning towards them Chiefs. They appear to have huge advantages at qb and coach and Philly’s gaudy stats have come against questionable teams in questionable circumstances. But what do I know? Nothing.

Enjoy. Drop in and say hello if you haven’t recently, we’d love to hear from you.

 

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Gumbygirl

Dishes done, time for bed. Good night my darling dears, it’s been a truly Superb Owl. Except for the result. And the officiating. And Intergalactic Disgrace Goodell. And the obnoxious fake patriotism. And the halftime show…

Beerguyrob

Also, why are these trending? I mean, I get “terrible”, but the others make no sense.

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Doktor Zymm

Oooh, 1k! Congrats crew!

Beerguyrob

NOW we can all go to bed.

Gumbygirl

I have to do my dishes first!

Doktor Zymm

I think Downtown LA only exists so there are some decently tall buildings when they do panorama shots to show how smoggy it is

Beerguyrob

And then they shoot the rest of the movie/series in Georgia, NOLA, or Vancouver.

WCS

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mbuji-Mayi

LA is the city above with better historical and geographic luck.

Beerguyrob
Doktor Zymm

SexinaCanoeGuyHenne!

Beerguyrob

The smirk is a work.

Gumbygirl

I’m hungry again! Whyyyyyyy?

Doktor Zymm

Hormones, everything is hormones, it’s nawt just sex (although that is the fun part)!

Doktor Zymm

The word ‘acacia’ annoys me for not having enough distinct letters in it

Beerguyrob

It’s also a worse album than Abacab.

Gumbygirl

Acai is worse.

Doktor Zymm

They are both always in the same word game which I’m just gonna assume you also play (NY Times Spelling Bee) but I picked out acacia cause it’s longer, although I have the same ‘oh this dumb word again’ moment for both!

Beerguyrob

The crossword also seems to have some similar words two weeks in a row.

Doktor Zymm

Indeed, although there are multiple crossword builders and editors while it’s one guy for multiple other games

WCS

65 looks…. horrible.

Did Adam Driver lose a bet?

Beerguyrob

I guess Star Wars money does run out.

Doktor Zymm

“Think the thought that you are sitting in a chair”
I am sitting in a chair, SCORE!

Doktor Zymm

Oh an now they are slandering Squirrels!

Dunstan

I saw Slandering Squirrels open for Arctic Monkeys once.

Doktor Zymm

Oh I love these filming on filming moments, infiltrating scientology is hilarious

Beerguyrob

Nothing from Leah Remini?

Gumbygirl

We blew past 969. We have to get over a thou now, or it’s all been a turrible waste!

Beerguyrob

I ‘spose.

TheRevanchist

I fell asleep during the 8 o’cock hour. It’s now the 10 o’cock hour. Prob should wrap it up like a condom and pass the fuck out.

Have a great night, everyone, and see you… at the draft!

Doktor Zymm

Sleep tight!

Doktor Zymm

Tom Brady might become a scientologist, but he might nawt be able to afford it depending on his FTX losses. What’s their opinion on tomatoes?

Dunstan

Wouldn’t at all surprise me if Brady became one of those guys who is so adrift in retirement that he falls for anything that offers him a sense of purpose.

Doktor Zymm

And he might also get to marry Katie Holmes

Dunstan

I would sign up tomorrow if I thought that was a possibility.

Gumbygirl

I would hope she learned her lesson.

Last edited 1 year ago by Gumbygirl
Doktor Zymm

To the extent she’s not pushed into it 🙁

Beerguyrob

Was she Pacey or Joey?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Joey. Pacey is the mascot for the Indiana Pacers.

Gumbygirl

Didn’t Faux just give him a huge contract?

Doktor Zymm

Entertainment industry! Just gets him closer!

Beerguyrob

He’s delayed its start to 2024.

yeah right

The Anthony Bourdain in West Virginia is magical apart from all of the firearms.

yeah right

Fuck you DirecTV. Fuck your bullshit customer “Service” fuck your help line. Fuck your billing department and most of all just fuck you.

Gumbygirl

What’s he eating, pepperoni rolls? Muskrat?

WCS

possum or gtfo

yeah right

There was some raccoon and bacon Gravy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Beerguyrob

I believe that’s called a “Tomsula Chowder”.

WCS

I’d politely decline any soup Scotchy offers you.

Doktor Zymm

Pfft, no way you could get Garbo, silly LRON!

Doktor Zymm

The whole ‘baking soda in the fridge’ thing doesn’t make any sense. The baking soda in the bottom of the box can’t be absorbing much, wouldn’t you want to increase the surface area of odor absorber that’s exposed to the fridge air?

Also, dude, old school scientology promos are HILARIOUS

Beerguyrob

We used to make their testing centre the start of our annual Christmas fraternity pub crawl.

Dunstan

“I took a personality test once. It came back negative.” — Steven Wright

Doktor Zymm

Oooh, did your thetan levels go up or down with the boozing? Nawt really sure which is good

Beerguyrob

We were considered “unrecruitable”.

ballsofsteelandfury

60 now

Beerguyrob

Should we stop at 969?

ballsofsteelandfury

I think that’s wise

Beerguyrob

Another weak things about Canadian sports coverage is how they try to draw any connection they can to what’s going on.TSN’s postgame coverage is a whole bunch of US tv clips & some Canadian chucklefucks trying to add two cents.

I’m honestly surprised we weren’t treated to a Laurent Duvernay-Tardiff Super Bowl watch party from Laval.

Gumbygirl

Did he finish medical school?

Beerguyrob
Gumbygirl

Good for him.

Doktor Zymm

I was going to say there were only 69 comments until 1k, but then my comments refreshed and it’s only 67 now

Gumbygirl

That’s 69, but one of them isn’t really into it.

Doktor Zymm

Hm, I guess Scientology is just based on the idea that quite a few aspiring actors are gullible and occasionally come into large amounts of money. I should try to start something similar for tech startups

WCS

BAH GAWD THAT’S ELIZABETH HOLMES’ MUSIC

Doktor Zymm

Her mistake was trying to have a company with an actual product

Doktor Zymm

I can’t be spokesperson, can we find a 20-something mostly white dude who’s really enthusiastic about shit?

ballsofsteelandfury

Disney channel leftovers?

Dunstan

I just heard the sound of 10,000 podcasters straining their shoulders from raising their arms quickly

Gumbygirl

The kiddoes seem to like that Timothee Shamalamadingdong.

Beerguyrob

Armie Hammer thought he was tasty.

Gumbygirl

Dammit, only 8% battery left. I’ll never know if we made it to 1000, because my shitty charging cord isn’t long enough!

Doktor Zymm

You can always check tomorrow! Adding one to the heap!

Gumbygirl

Nope, I made Gumby move, the cord is long enough where he was sitting.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, I have problems with things not being long enough too.” – Deanna Favre

Doktor Zymm

I think my ass is too big to be a scientologist, these bitches are all skinny

Dunstan

I think that’s a country song?

Doktor Zymm

Doesn’t ‘scientologist’ have too many syllables for a country song?

Gumbygirl

Signtallgist. Three.

Dunstan

New country is so sophistimacated.

Gumbygirl

Kirstie Alley had a big ole booty.

Doktor Zymm

Which is better, that Jesus US thing or Scientology? I’m gonna call both their Owl commercials shitty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k0JEc0arOQ

Dunstan

Someone noted that it’s interesting that Tom Cruise won’t film one of these. I know he’s appeared in internal Scientology propaganda, but a commercial for the general market? No way, he ain’t risking the box office for Misson Impossible 17 on that!

WCS

Just a reminder that Koach Kliff had Mahomes at Texas Tech for three years and a 19-19 record.

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
Dunstan

“Somebody better hire that guy, stat!” — dozens of owners who dismissed any idea of hiring Eric Bienemy because hey, who can’t run an offense with Mahomes?

Beerguyrob

And he’ll still get a(nother) head coaching job before Eric Bieniemy.

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

ooh, change of plans, gonna watch this scientology documentary!

WCS

Will we be seeing you in a commercial with JD and Turk from Scrubs next Superb Owl?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh look, the Chiefs won another game thanks to extremely questionable officiating, and the NFL’s most heavily marketed star is once again on top of the world! Just like the old Gypsy woman said!

Dunstan

Was it really that questionable? Maybe I was out of the room, but the only close call I know of is that holding call, and the DB admitted he did it in the postgame interview.

Doktor Zymm

It’s an old chestnut yes, but you can call holding on any play. I would say the officiating was about 60/40 Chiefs, and when it’s a close game (like the conference championship) that can be enough to tip it. It’s not horrible, no, because yeah, when teams are pretty even anything can tip it. But it’s also not great because with reviews and an overall larger focus on officiating it makes it more obvious when officiating makes a difference, and that includes any inconsistencies or weaknesses in the rules (i.e. poor operational definition of a catch)

Gumbygirl

I don’t think from that tiny jersey grab that the receiver would have caught the ball anyway, so the call is questionable just for that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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TheRevanchist

First drive that Eagles had there were multiple missed calls against the eagles, including an illegal hands to the face and offensive PI and holding calls. Completely fucked KC on the first drive. You and I would have both been yelling at the television, holding each other while wearing Mahomes jerseys.

Gumbygirl

I ate so much food today, but it was all small bites, so it doesn’t count!

Dunstan

That’s my logic for continued snacking tonight. Also, need to save fridge space!

Closing down the night of drinking (read: I’m gonna have three more and then fall asleep) with some old fashioneds.

Gumbygirl

What protein(s) did you put in your paella?

Dunstan

Chicken thighs and andouille sausage

Gumbygirl

Yum! Lots of saffron?

Dunstan

I don’t know about lots. I put in what I had, which was maybe a teaspoon full all told?

Dunstan

Forgot to take a picture until half of it was gone, but you get the idea.

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Gumbygirl

That is a lot, it’s powerful stuff! And pricey as fuck.

Doktor Zymm

Welp, I just did the worst I’ve ever done on a Sunday crossword! Gonna go mix another drink and watch some Rick and Morty

ballsofsteelandfury

Seven more comments until 900…

Redshirt

Six…

WCS

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WCS

Has any city lost the World Series and Superb Owl in the same season?

Beerguyrob

The soccer one is the real stinger.

Col. Duke LaCross

“Do we have any bombs left from the MOVE raid?”

~Philadelphia’s Mayor

Brick Meathook

Ah, MOVE. Up there with the Branch Davidians and the SLA in the police assault hall of fame.

WCS

Walking so others can run.

Beerguyrob

Moar like limp.

makeitsnowondem

Giving my second KC-themed cocktail of the night a try, the Horsefeather. Whiskey, ginger beer, lime, and Angostura bitters. Pretty good!

Beerguyrob

Well, I am clearly not drunk enough to mark these assignments.

Gumbygirl

Gumby just told me a story I’ve never heard before, which you wouldn’t think is possible since we’ve been married for 40 years and have known each other for 50. He took 13 percodans once when we were like 18 or 19 and then picked his sister up after she got out of high school. He drove past somebody in the parking lot and slow motion scraped the whole side of the guys car, and then told his sister to get in and they left. He said the guy was looking at him the whole time, but he just did not care!

Brick Meathook

13 Percodans??!!

When I got my wisdom teeth pulled (in the Navy at Great Lakes using only local anesthetic) they gave me Percodan and told me to take one every 12 hours. So I immediately took three and I travelled into a different dimension.

13 sounds like a lethal dose, and no way he’s driving a car or even figuring out how the door knob works. I don’t doubt the story just the number of Percodans. Sounds like a fish story where the fish keeps getting bigger over the years.

Gumbygirl

He had built up a tolerance, after massive knee damage from football. You are probably right, he is remembering the wrong number, but I bet it was a bunch.

Brick Meathook

I’m betting six. That’s a healthy dose, considering you’re supposed to take one.

Dunstan

“Begun, the Gumbyboy Percocet Truther Movement has.” — Yoda

Gumbygirl

I’m betting closer to 10. Like I said, he took them for a few years. The car thing scared him straight ( ish. ) I remember when he stopped taking them, but I never knew it was that bad. We took a lot of drugs back in the day.

Gumbygirl

There was a Dr. Feelgood who gave them out like candy when we were in high school. By that time, he’d been taking them for 3 or 4 years. He had to taper off them for many months after the car incident.

Last edited 1 year ago by Gumbygirl
Brick Meathook

I still have 9 of them left over from my surgery.I’m saving them for a special occasion.

Dunstan

Like a fucking lady.

WCS
Brick Meathook

comment image

yeah right

I think I just cut the fucking cord on DirecTV. Trying YouTube TV and it’s 1/3rd of the price.
Yo DirecTV, come pick up your shee-it!

Gumbygirl

I lurve YouTube TV! I was Big Mad for awhile, but I got over myself. Congratulations Revanchist!

ballsofsteelandfury

You should try Fubo. It’s very good.

Gumbygirl

YouTube is getting Sunday Ticket

ballsofsteelandfury

Hasn’t the man suffered enough with this Vikings season?

Dunstan

Good evening, gentlepersons!

My hot wings inflicted serious damage on two people, while making another shrug and say “it’s sort of hot,” so I think I hit the window correctly.

Senor Weaselo

Sauce report?

Dunstan

It was basically a bitches’ brew. I melted some butter, and then threw everything I had at it. Some leftover ghost pepper wing sauce? In. Some Carolina reaper powder? In you go. Nashville hot chicken seasoning? Get in the damn saucepan. A little apple cider vinegar to re-establish the acidity, and we’re off to the races.

I should also add that the paella came off well, and I finished it in time for kickoff so I didn’t miss the game due to cooking like I have in many years. (Which often I don’t mind, but this year I correctly expected a good game.)

Doktor Zymm

They’re now playing the American Dad where they go to Philly, there’s an old lady who got a “Fuck Dallas” tattoo, kickass!

TheRevanchist

I am down with that. Dallas fans are as insufferable as I am trying to be.

Redshirt

You know, I take it back. I’m now looking forward to the Super Mario Bros. Movie.

New Super Mario Bros. Movie Ad Has Surprising Saturday Morning Throwback (msn.com)

Doktor Zymm

@litre No consolation really, but the gin you sent is delicious with a dash of Jamaican bitters and a low sugar punchy ginger beer

litre_cola

Oooh. Sounds good. They do make good spirits.

Senor Weaselo

Welp, now I guess it’s the off-season. So…

Redshirt

See everyone at the next NFL Draft/March Madness/Funeral/Spelling Bee/Intervention!

Doktor Zymm

Ooh, when’s the spelling bee?
That reminds me, I should go do the crossword and do poorly at it cuz I’ve been drinking

yeah right

It means my ass better get in the kitchen.

TheRevanchist

Why are the eagles such pussies? Not the good kind, either.

litre_cola

Oh, fun. Meth on the train!

The Maestro

Well NOW it’s a party.

Doktor Zymm

For dentists!

WCS

Just another NFL Sunday in Buffalo.

Wakezilla

Gary Bettman be like “This is why our refs never call penalties in the Cup finals”

ballsofsteelandfury

That was in effect before him. He should not get any credit for that.

Petronel

Well, at least the Beasties are making a few cents off of this

litre_cola

As a stoner, i feel anger is a wasted mood. I am furious right now. Weird feeling.

The Maestro

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litre_cola

I am so mad.

TheRevanchist

If the eagles didn’t cheat, it would have been a different outcome.

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