It seems the Carpentering shall fall to Hippo. Leeds and Man U (the football squadron, not the uni-themed “twink and bear” porn series) are currently nil-nil on USA. Angry Pep will put on his live action snuff film next (11:30, also USA).
I hear tell there are puppy and kitty Owls, which just seems like genetic engineering gone TOO FAR, bruh. But ppl say I shouldn’t kink-shame. so THANKS, Obama!!!1111
Are you not looking forward to the game, given the looming, creeper presence of The Narrator? Brandon Perna’s got you covered.
Or are you with Litre Cola, Mac and Sweet Dee? Then GET HYPE:
All right, folks, pre-pre-game is over, the real thread is now live!
Alcohol roll call! I’ve started with a Negroni, what’s in your cup?
Japanese whiskey of all damn things. Still digging through the Xmas presents
Suntory Toki. I’m feeling better than a Salaryman at a Karaoke bar
That’s a whole world I need to explore more. Someone brought by a bottle recently of Meikakuna
Glenfiddich because there’s a Dalwhinnie shortage around, son of a bitch…
Haven’t had Dalwhinnie in a while. I was pleasantly surprised recently by the Glenmorangie Nectar d’Or (aged in Sauternes casks). I’m usually an Islay man, but that was a nice change of pace.
A refreshingly brisk blend of old grandad, cough medicine, and lemon.
If you add an ounce of grapefruit juice to your negroni it will be a prototype of my Italian Greyhound cocktail. I am going to play with the proportions a bit before I lock it down, but 1:1:1:1 is where I’ve started.
I’m thinking of making some of that dill syrup Sharkbait mentioned on Friday and using it in some gin cocktails — a Negroni variant could work. Or a vodka drink. Too bad I don’t have any aquavit
Nothing at the moment – I have the second half of a weightlifting session to get done first. But after that point it will probably be Shiraz since we’ve got a box of that open and are having Italian food for dinner.
still cooking but then its Long Island time
Willett Pot Still Bourbon
Birds by 40.
https://twitter.com/edsbs/status/1624765072076668931
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN BOYS???
Boy, am I flaky.
[gives Porky a huge hug]
[writes RTD up to HR]
It puts on the lotion, or it gets the hose.
Good to see ya!!!
Will anyone have crab juice for the Owl?
Today’s Owl menu:
potato chips with sour cream and dill dip
tortilla chips and seven layer dip
buffalo wings
chicken and sausage paella
Also have the makings for chili cheese nachos if emergency snacking is needed
This is a great list.
I’ve recently discovered Mexican Street Corn dip at Costco. It is another great accompaniment of tortilla chips.
I mostly made my favorite easy-to-make foods:
Spaghetti
Hot dogs
Buffalo chicken with extra Buffalo sauce
Soft pretzels
Carb cakes
Chips and green onion dip
The wife made those grape jelly and bbq sauce meatballs, but I’m not having that shit.
Mmmmm, carb cakes!
I’m reading “Brand New Cherry Flavor” and man, that is one fucked up tale.
My imaginary girlfriend is in the adaptation!
/vacuuming intensifies
You have no idea. We just had a houseguest leave so it’s basically been vacuum city over here.
Fun fact: “Where do they keep the vacuums in this place?” used to be a code phrase that Hollywood executives would ask each other at house parties to find out which room Nancy Reagan was in.
The Throat Goat!
This person is walking around consuming natural resources that could be used by tadpoles, or dung beetles.
That looks fake as hell.
Follow up question: Who would possibly be “influenced” by that asshat?
Think of how a person of average intelligence comes off, then realize that half the population is dumber than that.
(Please do not tell me the difference between average, mean, and median; I am only of average intelligence. Hey! Check out those cool tattoos!!)
Median is that thing in the middle of the street. Mean is what some girls are.
Math is easy.
Mode is how pie should be served.
That is off topic but also very true.
Average?
https://youtu.be/FnH_zwVmiuE
If I were Messi I would personally record a video to that guy, just so I could call him a weirdo loser to his face.
I rode the bike for 35 minutes and ate a salad, because I believe in nutritional offsets. Bring on the beer and shitty food!
I know nobody here would avait themselves of this, but if you don’t want to watch the Owl, watch RRR on Netflix. You’ve got bromance, you’ve got Titus Pullo as the meanest British guy ever (which is saying something), you’ve got a dance-off! And no animals (including oxen) were harmed in the making of this film.
Isn’t that like 4 hours long? I keep meaning to check it out but never have the time.
Can also highly recommend ‘The Banshees of Inisherin’, and also recommend ‘All Quiet on the Western Front’, but not as highly because they changed the ending to make the Germans look worse, which is not something they really had to do.
I liked Banshees, haven’t seen AQotWF yet
Banshees was one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Just nothing wrong with it.
All Quiet is very good, I just hated what they did at the very end.
Oh, that’s right! I don’t know if I can sell it to the Dr. Mrs., but I’ll try.
The store was packed. It was horrible. But hey, I got a heart shaped shrimp box, with cocktail sauce that I’m sure will need lots more horseradish. And so much other shit that’s NOT health food. And I have two kinds of olives for my fancy schmancy olive dishes, wooo! And I’m watching the Puppy Bowl! Time to spark a doob and Owl like a fucking lady!
Ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, and horseradish are your friends.
And some lemon juice.
“Owl like a fucking lady” might be my favorite quote of the day.
Whelp a nasty throwdown with my arrogant 15 year old started the day.
Covid is making me feel sleepy and weak.
Today marks the beginning of a long, dreary time without football.
Finally, assholes who think they’re cool and above us regular cavemen who use “sports ball” to show how elite they are should all be shoved into mason jars.
Joke’s on them. Lawyerball is denser than City Planning Regulations.
Did you win the throwdown?
He’s built like a bull, and when he rushed at me – yes, it was bad – he knocked me back a few feet. Proceed to me wrapping my arms around him and telling him that enough was enough.
Jiu jitsu is your friend.
Afterwards i told him i feel sorry for the kids on the line who have to block him. he has raw power. and zero brains.
Definitely jiu jitsu then. He’ll do half the work himself.
He will find out very soon that you control the car keys. Expect a much more cooperative kid next year!
OK, I’m off to the gym to preemptively work off the beer and wings from later tonight.
It will not work, but the road to Hell is indeed paved with good intentions.
[drives at 95 mph down that road after washing down half a dozen Xanax with a 375 mL bottle of Jack, crashes into the back of a schoolbus] – Britt Reid
“Amateur.”
-Henry Ruggs
Also, be sure to eat plenty of Powersauce bars.
Only Powersauce bars harness the awesome power of apples.
In honor of Philadelphia, (go birds), I went with Fight Milk
Ugh, I still have to go to the store. I should have gone yesterday, but I had to clean the other bathroom. It was even worse than the first one, took all fucking day. Some day I will be over this Covid shit, and there will be much rejoicing, oh yes there will!
I wonder if stores are empty after kickoff.
Just immigrants and Homer sexuals!
And them damn liberal nazi female libbers with their tattoos and pink hair. This country is going to hell
My dad remarked that on this day down in Florida the streets were absolutely empty when the game was on-“It’s like on Xmas morning, no one is out.”
I hope you are hydrating. Its a little thing, often overlooked, that prolongs our recovery if neglected.
/ Hauls his preachy butt off of this high horse.
I am drinking a ton of water, and peeing like a champion racehorse.
went at 8pm last night quick run. do find the real battle of shelf space between Super Bowl and Valentine’s day being the real clash so far
I’m watching Army of the Dead. It’s the tropiest movie to ever trope.
CHARACTER 1: [whispers something]
CHARACTER 2: [shoots zombie]
CHARACTER 1: [keeps whispering]
There’s a character wearing ear protection. Makes sense that the safecracker would be doing that, right? But it’s not! It’s some other character!
Also for some reason even though Vegas has been overrun by zombies for weeks and the federal government constructed a massive wall around the city, the electricity still works.
What, a zombie can’t have a degree in electrical engineering? Racist.
That was not a great movie. There’s a prequel that’s much better for, uh, reasons.
She’s “partnered” to the guy who plays the safecracker irl
I agree with both reasons.
They make some very cogent points.
That prelude movie was fucking awesome. Goddamn was i disappointed by army of the dead.
New Half-Time show just dropped
https://twitter.com/VICETV/status/1624785340551553024
Related: She knows she can stop having plastic surgery, right? Right!?
Litrepug is ready.
Did you pick up his poop to fling at the tv, like a real Iggles fan?
I think they roll batteries in poop and then hurl them at santa claus. or a busload of orphans.
I am wearing my one green shirt. Cats don’t abide sweaters though
Gumby has a St. Patricks Day shirt on that sez Malarkey and Shenanigans. I need to put on a green shirt too, because I am currently wearing red.
Ha! Completely coincidental, but…
Andy Reid also drafted Tyreek Hill.
So there’s that.
A man who believes in 2nd chances obvs
You know who else believes in second chances? Referees who see Mahomes throw an incomplete pass on 3rd and long.
Technically he got a third chance
Talk to the burned down, ruined golden corrals across the land who never got a second chance from Mr. Reid.
Also a solid belief in speed at the skill positions.
And in the impaired positions
I don’t have a dog in this particular hunt, but you know what I’m rooting for most of all? Rihanna to fall spectacularly on her fat, untalented, autotuned ass!
YES. Have never understood her vocal nor perverse appeal.
She appears to have a range of about half an octave.
Text me if that happens, cause I would die from laughter.
Old man rant: I love music, I always have. I listen to everything. That being said, in the past 6 years of listening to what my sons listen to, it is all absolute shit. There is no talent in pop music. None. I realize it’s made to be simple and consumable, but it’s a vile wasteland of ego and window dressing.
Just got back from the store and when the fuck did a package of bacon become 11.50? On Friday my grocery bill seemed a little high and they charged me over 10 bucks for 5 apples. How’s an upper middle class white man supposed to survive in these conditions?
That’s it! Let’s invade Iraq again! Third times a charm, right?
Do they even have apples?
They have figs. And figs are the fucking bomb.
I buy it when it’s on sale and freeze, as necessary. Pork belly is too high in demand.
Ouch. Its higher over here but nowhere near that. I guess we are like 5-10% higher than last year for groceries. Gas is up about 30% but food is just slightly higher. And the only store with large empty shelve spaces is the friggen commisary on post. Every other grocery store on the economy is full and has been even through the Covid peak. Looks like a US problem to me.
This Superb Owl, I call it Rocky IV, because while everyone is looking forward to the final match, I’m one of the few who can’t get over the questionable officiating in previous one.
Having to work tomorrow, along with the time warp thing, means I’ll be fast asleep by kick off. But my 0400 hrs wake up for a cup of coffee and bathroom trip before my morning run, along with the very long running time of the game and halftime show, means I’ll catch you all for the ending. If it goes to OT I’ll blow off the run. Soldiers have a 1300 first formation tomorrow, lucky stiffs, they deserve to enjoy the full game, and do. Civilians can take leave time or show up as usual, which is totally fair, we do not deserve any freebe’s. I will get to watch the whole game replayed tomorrow night, which I like doing even knowing the ending. I hope we get a good game, and I hope you all have a great time watching.
I predict this game will be remembered as “The Christmas Bowl” because of all the green and red and also because of all the presents the officials will be handing out to whichever team is trailing late in the game.
I still think the league wants KC to win. With Brady gone, they’re on the rebound.
Yup. Two black qb’s, they are always gonna go for the “whitish” one.
I think the NFL primarily wants a close enough game that people will watch the commercials through to the end. But they’d be happy to see Mahomes’ status grow, simply because he’s probably the NFL’s most visible star right now.
Well, and “Mahomes leads the winning drive while hobbling around the field” would be catnip to The Narrative.
[ejaculates] – The Narrator
Half of a snuff film was not what Pep had in mind
I’m not saying Horatio is a bad DFOer, but I am saying that I will also be watching the game at a friend’s house but still plan to comment
Horatio is gonna make the movie!
I hate sprots TV ratings talk as much as the next guy, but how does the super bowl compare in ratings to like a mid-season EPL match?
EPL is the US has close to 500k per game. The last SB had 99 million.
Man, winter really came roaring back here in Los Angeles. It went from 80° and sunny to 60° and partly cloudy virtually overnight.
Meh, it’s a nice day here, sunny and just above freezing. You have Tshirt weather there
I’m going to walk anyway. The sun just came out and it’s go time.
I don’t use the term ‘hero’ lightly…
Re, Andy Reid as a father:
I can’t say and won’t judge. Nobody knows what goes on inside a home. Plus every child born has the absolute right to be a good for nothing, all-talent no-effort fuckup–despite having upstanding role models as to dedication, professionalism, and effort.
Anyway, no Reid spawn distractions = KC victory.
I would not put it past an organized crime syndicate to load up big money on Philadelphia, then pay (or coerce!) a fellow prisoner to repeatedly stab (but not quite kill!) Britt three hours before kickoff.
Sounds like justice
Honestly if I were involved in organized crime I’d have written this scheme up and presented it to my capo. I’d have a PowerPoint slide show and everything.
Yeah, I mean, I don’t blame Joe Biden for Hunter turning out to be rather a mess. Which is I think the fundamental thing that frustrates conservatives about their big “laptop from hell” faux-scandal — the allegations that would actually be a concern (if Joe was giving preferential treatment to people who did business with Hunter) are unsubstantiated, while the stuff they’ve got scads of “evidence” for (that Hunter is a drug addict who likes to take a lot of dick pics) is perhaps titillating to some but most people don’t give a shit and are correct not to.
It’s one thing when you have one kid turn out bad. In Reid’s case, it’s two.
No matter if it’s two, three or 12. As anyone who’s been a parent can attest:* it only takes ONE bad influence “friend” to erase years of dedicated rearing and schooling.
* Alternatively, being the bad kid, or being the one enthralled the bad kid.
The face of a man contemplating the prospect of twelve of his children turning out bad:
There’s also the well-publicized, (often for the wrong reasons), examples of Joe Biden reaching out to Hunter and trying to help.
I’m not aware of any such examples with Andy. That very well could be grossly unfair, and if anyone has any such examples I will very happily retract every shitty thing I’ve said about Andy, because I would fucking love to be wrong about him, or anyone, being that much of a dick.
Imagine being a three year old child, injured badly in an accident where you got flattened by a tractor trailer, wanting your mommy, who can’t comfort you because she’s dead. It’s not a big surprise that Hunter has issues.
I’d likely be less critical of Reid if it weren’t for the media’s relentless portrayal of him as a ‘Happy Walrus’, and the new guy so aptly put it below. Seems hypocritical at best given the trail of destruction his offspring are/were cutting, with Andy never seeming to walk away from the all-consuming job of an NFL coach and trying to reel the kids back in. Don’s right, (as usual: goddammit Don, stop being so suave and sophisticated), we don’t know what goes on inside a home, but all we can do is go by what we see, and what I’ve seen is a guy who put his career ahead of his children. Reid’s certainly not the first person to do that, but when you add the appearance that he’s done that, (and it is very much the appearance), then consider the results, and then consider how the media portrays him, well, let’s just say I’m very comfortable with my decision to root for the Eagles.
And I fucking hate the Eagles.
In Fat Andy’s defense, at least he didn’t kiss his kids with tongue.
I can see how it can all be the kids’ fault, is all. Alsi, my inner 85 year old hates Disney because of all its #content with the overworked parent = uncaring narcissist trope.
Being a good provider for the home could be a virtue, but it’s a necessity for anyone striving for (or wanting to remain in) the middle class. Any snot-nosed kid who can’t appreciate that after turning 21 is an immature ingrate who can’t even appreciate the great fortune that is having been born in an age where spankings and belt beatings are frowned upon.
Now, if you would excuse me, Imma start cooking my oatmeal dinner.
2/3 of a cup of water, microwave for 1:08, add blueberries and chocolate chips to taste.
I am a fine chef.
And when I’m feeling wild, a dusting of freshly-ground Ex-Lax.
Blueberries *and* chocolate chips? Move over Pol Pot, you’ve got some competition for the title of “History’s Greatest Monster”.
What time does “what time does the Superb Owl start” start?
YES
The top 10 list of Superb Owl starting times. Number 4 will shock you!
The Superb Owl start time that THEY don’t want you to know about! (Roger Goodell HATES this!)
Step 4. Profit
I’m sure the pregame shows have already started
And even the worst football announcer is better than the boring-ass mofo they had doing the person calling the U-17 soccer games last night. Fox must have got that jackass for a can of chili beans and a coupon for a free Frosty.
“That is a King’s ransom.”
-J. Tomsula
Resto staff meeting, then day drinking then rage. Yes I did book tomorrow off from my big boy job.
Go Birds.
Folks. You will be Horatio-less (wild cheering ensues) this evening, as I will be at a friend’s house for the game. Eating and drinking and probably not a lot of game-watching will be the order of the day, with the occasional check-in on the game.
I’m not a fan of either team, but I’m even less a fan of Andy Reid, that fat fucking fraud of a father, (alliteration is the key to a successful rant, just like “occasionally being around” is the key to not raising doomed children), so allow me to say
It is interesting how the narrative of “Andy Reid is such a good guy” is perpetuated because he looks like a Happy Walrus.
He may or may not be a good guy, and being a dad is hard, but the one thing that I know is the test of being a dad is paying attention to your kids when you’ve had super long days and are exhausted (like when I work from 7 AM until 8 PM and still have to read to 5 year old). Maybe he’s done that, but asking the question seems relevant to the narrative.
For a guy that walks around with a bag on your head, I find your ideas interesting.
“I guess that it’s the problem of liking a public image without knowing much of a person.”
-guy whose hero, when he was 6, was Bob Probert
We read the same books/stories to my youngest so much that she was able to say the words like she could read, while flipping the pages at the proper time.
Think I can still recite most of “Good night moon” , “Brown Bear, brown bear, what do you see” and “my many coloured days” from memory
“The Colour Kittens” was my #1 go to, especially with the twins
For some reason, my oldest loved Jack and the Beanstalk, and Giraffes Can’t Dance.
It was “Hop on Pop” at the Villa Gumby.
I made goofy voices for that’un
The “Sad Dad Bad Had” section always took awhile. Gumby acted it out very dramatically! “Dad is sad. Very very sad. He had a bad day. What a day dad had!”
I too will be out, but at my dad’s, so may be actually watching the game
And not a fan of either team, so just hoping for a good, close game. Or a blow out so I can leave early