As Barry Manilow famously said, “Looks like we made it!” As with every season, t’was a tortuous route for all of us-we lost some some folks/fans but we gained some as well and learned something along the way. (I learned that I didn’t learn anything, which is a kind of learning)
Some Superb Owl Facts You May Not Know-
-The game was named by famous ornithologist John James Audubon who also named The Great Horned Owl on the very same day, the only man to name two species in a 24 hour period. The Germans were so impressed with this feat they named their highway system after him!
-Wacko Super Bowl truthers insist that Lamar Hunt named it after a kid’s toy. (thank heavens the Hunt kids weren’t playing with a Slinky) Actually, sports writers were calling it the Super Bowl back in 1966-Arthur Dailey, a columnist in New York called it ‘the superduper bowl’. It caught on quite easily, given that some of the competition out there at the time was The Bluebonnet Bowl, The Tangerine Bowl, The Sun Bowl and The Pasadena Bowl.
-The game has only been played in Canada-adjacent states three times-each time Michigan and Minnesota’s Labatt’s and Molson reservoirs came dangerously close to drying up. Lesson learned, America!
To The Game!
Chiefs/Eagles:
-Is there a betting line on Kadarius Toney getting hurt? Because he is going to get hurt. As far as other props go, I’d take a Justin Watson anytime TD at +700. You can take the Gatoraid prop and give yourself an enema with it.
-The only teams to record more than the Eagles 70 sacks are the ’89 Vikes (71) and the ’84 Bears (72).
-To offset that pressure look for K.C. to employ wr screens, jet sweeps and delayed screens to the running backs.
-Shoulder Responsibilities?: Hurts was an effective deep passer in the regular season but he is only 2 of 7 on passes of 20+ yards in the playoffs. (none of them for scores)
-Much like all at their position, Philly’s lb’s are overmatched vs Kelce. For that reason the team may turn to man fathered by a 19th century English manservant and birthed by an accountancy firm, one Chauncey Gardner-Johnson.
-The Chiefs run game on 1st down in the playoffs is a crapshoot. They’ve averaged 2.8 yards per carry so far.
-Hassan Reddick Feast Day: He’ll be lined up against Chiefs guard Andrew Wylie who has, bless his heart, very generously given up (9!) sacks so far this year.
-Philly nay-sayers have pointed out that the quality of teams they’ve played against isn’t exactly top-notch. Football Outsiders has their sked ranked as the easiest in the league by a good margin. And really, they’ve battled against the likes of Josh Johnson, One-Armed Purdy, Webb, Rush, Pickett, Mills, Heinicke and Dalton. Do those guys even qualify as ‘C’ level talent?
-“Tyreek, Who’s He?”: The Chiefs as a team had more yards after the catch than any squadoo in the last 15 years. Using the Expected Points Added metric, the offense became more efficient than it was last year.
-Mahomes’ EPA per pass play ranking vs zone? #1. Vs man? #1. Vs the blitz? #1. Vs no blitz? #1. Vs split safeties? #1. Vs single-high safeties? #2, like a sucker.
-No team has beaten the Chiefs by more than 4 points this year.
-K.C. likes to play press coverage and wr Brown ranks #1 there but he’s been quiet in the playoffs with 7 grabs (on 14 targets) for a mere 54 yards. He’s been open but Hurts has missed him.
-All things considered, I’m leaning towards them Chiefs. They appear to have huge advantages at qb and coach and Philly’s gaudy stats have come against questionable teams in questionable circumstances. But what do I know? Nothing.
Enjoy. Drop in and say hello if you haven’t recently, we’d love to hear from you.
Imagine winning your second Super Bowl as a head coach and walking up onto the podium to get your trophy and the first thing anyone says to you, it’s Terry Bradshaw making a fat joke.
Everyone else has CTE but somehow Fox still gives Bradshaw a live mic.
Super Bowl MVP
2nd year in a row
Mahomes waking up tomorrow is gonna be like the time I got really drunk in grad school and won $600+ at poker. I just sorta remembered things went well then pulled a wad of cash out of my jacket pocket
See you all for March Madness.
“No you won’t!” -St. John’s, again
I can’t stand how the owner, not the players are handed the Lombardi trophy
Hope you all enjoy presentation of the Vince Lombardi trophy. I know Rikki and I will be making sweet love down by the fire while thinking of Mahomes.
Aight. Off like a prom dress to bed. Later, Taters!
That bed has to give consent
Not in certain states. That bed was asking for it.
Don’t take that bed across state lines. That’s a Mann Act!
The game thread isn’t over until the trophy’s given out, it’s still good!
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That was about the calmest, most anticlimactic ending to a close Owl that I’ve ever seen.
Definitely up there. It was the anti-28-3, because you KNEW that was happening. Tonight was just… I don’t know. It just feels kind of odd and weird.
THIS IS WHAT FEELING GEN-X IS
I’m sure everyone in Philly is tranquil
Nods in agreement before being struck with a battery from 200 feet up
Switched to a rerun of American Dad, he’s gone back in time and in pretty sure the Bengals win the Super Bowl one of those years
Thank you all for your game day company
https://twitter.com/NoLieWithBTC/status/1624970796924796930?s=20&t=4rAaKnGEtUB4cOPyGfTe_Q
That’s like making a Reagan joke.
You can see PHomes’ face change as the realization penetrates the Toradol.
He didn’t thank Jesus so in toradol veritas
Hey, let’s play a 30 year old song to celebrate! The kids will love it!
Put some respect in our names, like Kelce said.
Poor Eagles, had to play against a team with a functioning starting QB.
As opposed to the games against Dak?
Good to visit you wonderful drunks. See you in the WORRRRRLD OF TOMORROWWWWWWW.
Kelce’s already drunk.
Andy Reid with the HR-approved version of the Namath Maneuver!
Well, morning run here I come.
The streets will run red. Blood in Philly. BBQ sauce in KC.
Well, at least the Flyers and Sixers won’t lose in the championship round, right Philly?
Doc Rivers is cooking up something fierce for this years Sixers playoff loss.
Suck it, assholes!
I can live with this.
The Shield can suck it
Racist Redacteds chant
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The 13th?
22nd I guess
I guess you’ll have to punish the whole crowd.
Once America stomps KC and ATL fans into the dirt where they belong? Florida State is OK though.
All for renaming the team to the Chefs.
https://youtu.be/Nmgice3ieZ4
Great way to end the season, Eagle tears.
PHomes so whacked out he’s trying to stick his mouthpiece up his nose
https://twitter.com/bobbybigwheel/status/1624969072394862594?s=46&t=R_8UxOAmpcD1_YmCDnatiw
He was holding on to that one for sure.
No doubt.
Pack it up, pack it in.
Boooooooooooo.
It’s a little late for #NFLrigged to trend, but here we are.
Fuck. SHUT. UP. OLSEN.
MAN this stadium looks big
Probably time to leave Philadelphia now to avoid the upcoming Purge.
someone is up those poles win or lose
“Yes. Up those Poles.”
– The Germans
[rubs hands together gleefully]
-The Narrative
Fucking Jimmy getting all the money in that pool
Every guy in stripes is just constantly thinking, “How do I become the story?”
Who’s the smoking hot blonde?
Gracie hunt. She’s a beauty queen and her dad owns the team
I posted her picture on like page 4 or something
Refs fuck the Eagles. Good.
If Mahomes run in a TD and they get the XP, I will $25,000.
So this ending is hilariously painful.
A really shit ending to what had been a pretty good game. Nice job Shield
There it is.
The Narrative strikes!
No, that’s fucking dumb, who the hell calls defensive holding here?
Goodell
So if the Chiefs win, Cortisol is the game MVP, right?
Opium
Goodellium
Super Bowl Bailout Flag. Where have I seen this before?
Very SMRT. Seriously.
Refs today sponsored by Draft Kimgs
At long last the Narratives