Your All Glorious Superb Owl Open Thread

As Barry Manilow famously said, “Looks like we made it!” As with every season, t’was a tortuous route for all of us-we lost some some folks/fans but we gained some as well and learned something along the way. (I learned that I didn’t learn anything, which is a kind of learning)

Some Superb Owl Facts You May Not Know-

-The game was named by famous ornithologist John James Audubon who also named The Great Horned Owl on the very same day, the only man to name two species in a 24 hour period. The Germans were so impressed with this feat they named their highway system after him!

-Wacko Super Bowl truthers insist that Lamar Hunt named it after a kid’s toy. (thank heavens the Hunt kids weren’t playing with a Slinky) Actually, sports writers were calling it the Super Bowl back in 1966-Arthur Dailey, a columnist in New York called it ‘the superduper bowl’. It caught on quite easily, given that some of the competition out there at the time was The Bluebonnet Bowl, The Tangerine Bowl, The Sun Bowl and The Pasadena Bowl.

-The game has only been played in Canada-adjacent states three times-each time Michigan and Minnesota’s Labatt’s and Molson reservoirs came dangerously close to drying up. Lesson learned, America!

To The Game!

Chiefs/Eagles:

-Is there a betting line on Kadarius Toney getting hurt? Because he is going to get hurt. As far as other props go, I’d take a Justin Watson anytime TD at +700. You can take the Gatoraid prop and give yourself an enema with it.

-The only teams to record more than the Eagles 70 sacks are the ’89 Vikes (71) and the ’84 Bears (72).

-To offset that pressure look for K.C. to employ wr screens, jet sweeps and delayed screens to the running backs.

-Shoulder Responsibilities?: Hurts was an effective deep passer in the regular season but he is only 2 of 7 on passes of 20+ yards in the playoffs. (none of them for scores)

-Much like all at their position, Philly’s lb’s are overmatched vs Kelce. For that reason the team may turn to man fathered by a 19th century English manservant and birthed by an accountancy firm, one Chauncey Gardner-Johnson.

-The Chiefs run game on 1st down in the playoffs is a crapshoot. They’ve averaged 2.8 yards per carry so far.

-Hassan Reddick Feast Day: He’ll be lined up against Chiefs guard Andrew Wylie who has, bless his heart, very generously given up (9!) sacks so far this year.

-Philly nay-sayers have pointed out that the quality of teams they’ve played against isn’t exactly top-notch. Football Outsiders has their sked ranked as the easiest in the league by a good margin. And really, they’ve battled against the likes of Josh Johnson, One-Armed Purdy, Webb, Rush, Pickett, Mills, Heinicke and Dalton. Do those guys even qualify as ‘C’ level talent?

-“Tyreek, Who’s He?”: The Chiefs as a team had more yards after the catch than any squadoo in the last 15 years. Using the Expected Points Added metric, the offense became more efficient than it was last year.

-Mahomes’ EPA per pass play ranking vs zone? #1. Vs man? #1. Vs the blitz? #1. Vs no blitz? #1. Vs split safeties? #1. Vs single-high safeties? #2, like a sucker.

-No team has beaten the Chiefs by more than 4 points this year.

-K.C. likes to play press coverage and wr Brown ranks #1 there but he’s been quiet in the playoffs with 7 grabs (on 14 targets) for a mere 54 yards. He’s been open but Hurts has missed him.

-All things considered, I’m leaning towards them Chiefs. They appear to have huge advantages at qb and coach and Philly’s gaudy stats have come against questionable teams in questionable circumstances. But what do I know? Nothing.

Enjoy. Drop in and say hello if you haven’t recently, we’d love to hear from you.

 

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makeitsnowondem

Imagine winning your second Super Bowl as a head coach and walking up onto the podium to get your trophy and the first thing anyone says to you, it’s Terry Bradshaw making a fat joke.

Beerguyrob

Everyone else has CTE but somehow Fox still gives Bradshaw a live mic.

Redshirt

Super Bowl MVP

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Brocky

2nd year in a row

Doktor Zymm

Mahomes waking up tomorrow is gonna be like the time I got really drunk in grad school and won $600+ at poker. I just sorta remembered things went well then pulled a wad of cash out of my jacket pocket

Spur

See you all for March Madness.

Senor Weaselo

“No you won’t!” -St. John’s, again

Wakezilla

I can’t stand how the owner, not the players are handed the Lombardi trophy

TheRevanchist

Hope you all enjoy presentation of the Vince Lombardi trophy. I know Rikki and I will be making sweet love down by the fire while thinking of Mahomes.

LemonJello

Aight. Off like a prom dress to bed. Later, Taters!

Spur

That bed has to give consent

Redshirt

Not in certain states. That bed was asking for it.

Beerguyrob

Don’t take that bed across state lines. That’s a Mann Act!

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Senor Weaselo

The game thread isn’t over until the trophy’s given out, it’s still good!

Brocky

We need 167 comments to get to 1000

Beerguyrob

166

LongtimeLionsLoser

That was about the calmest, most anticlimactic ending to a close Owl that I’ve ever seen.

WCS

Definitely up there. It was the anti-28-3, because you KNEW that was happening. Tonight was just… I don’t know. It just feels kind of odd and weird.

THIS IS WHAT FEELING GEN-X IS

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m sure everyone in Philly is tranquil

LongtimeLionsLoser

Nods in agreement before being struck with a battery from 200 feet up

Doktor Zymm

Switched to a rerun of American Dad, he’s gone back in time and in pretty sure the Bengals win the Super Bowl one of those years

Recovery Whiskey

Thank you all for your game day company

Brick Meathook

That’s like making a Reagan joke.

Petronel

You can see PHomes’ face change as the realization penetrates the Toradol.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He didn’t thank Jesus so in toradol veritas

ThePirateSloth

Hey, let’s play a 30 year old song to celebrate! The kids will love it!

TheRevanchist

Put some respect in our names, like Kelce said.

Spur

Poor Eagles, had to play against a team with a functioning starting QB.

Recovery Whiskey

As opposed to the games against Dak?

Porky Prime

Good to visit you wonderful drunks. See you in the WORRRRRLD OF TOMORROWWWWWWW.

Petronel

comment image

WCS

Kelce’s already drunk.

makeitsnowondem

Andy Reid with the HR-approved version of the Namath Maneuver!

2Pack

Well, morning run here I come.

LemonJello

The streets will run red. Blood in Philly. BBQ sauce in KC.

Senor Weaselo

Well, at least the Flyers and Sixers won’t lose in the championship round, right Philly?

Spur

Doc Rivers is cooking up something fierce for this years Sixers playoff loss.

TheRevanchist

Suck it, assholes!

yeah right

I can live with this.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Shield can suck it

Recovery Whiskey

Racist Redacteds chant

Doktor Zymm

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herodotus450

22nd I guess

Brick Meathook

I guess you’ll have to punish the whole crowd.

Recovery Whiskey

Once America stomps KC and ATL fans into the dirt where they belong? Florida State is OK though.

Senor Weaselo

All for renaming the team to the Chefs.
https://youtu.be/Nmgice3ieZ4

Spur

Great way to end the season, Eagle tears.

Petronel

PHomes so whacked out he’s trying to stick his mouthpiece up his nose

Beerguyrob

No doubt.

LemonJello

Pack it up, pack it in.

Gumbygirl

Boooooooooooo.

Beerguyrob

It’s a little late for #NFLrigged to trend, but here we are.

LemonJello

Fuck. SHUT. UP. OLSEN.

Petronel

MAN this stadium looks big

The Maestro

Probably time to leave Philadelphia now to avoid the upcoming Purge.

Spur

someone is up those poles win or lose

Beerguyrob

“Yes. Up those Poles.”

– The Germans

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fucking Jimmy getting all the money in that pool

makeitsnowondem

Every guy in stripes is just constantly thinking, “How do I become the story?”

Wakezilla

Who’s the smoking hot blonde?

Brocky

Gracie hunt. She’s a beauty queen and her dad owns the team

Brocky

I posted her picture on like page 4 or something

Spur

Refs fuck the Eagles. Good.

Redshirt

If Mahomes run in a TD and they get the XP, I will $25,000.

Redshirt

So this ending is hilariously painful.

Last edited 1 year ago by Redshirt
Recovery Whiskey

A really shit ending to what had been a pretty good game. Nice job Shield

Col. Duke LaCross

There it is.

Gumbygirl

The Narrative strikes!

Doktor Zymm

No, that’s fucking dumb, who the hell calls defensive holding here?

Brocky

Goodell

Wakezilla

So if the Chiefs win, Cortisol is the game MVP, right?

WCS

Opium

Recovery Whiskey

Goodellium

Redshirt

Super Bowl Bailout Flag. Where have I seen this before?

WCS

Very SMRT. Seriously.

Gatoraids

Refs today sponsored by Draft Kimgs

Recovery Whiskey

At long last the Narratives